 I can't wait to see how many people call me a white nighting cook down in the comments for this video. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do is pull different topics from pop culture or YouTube in general to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So if you're into that, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell. By the way, real quick, if you haven't yet, make sure you're following me on Instagram over at the Rewired Soul. I just put up a brand new giveaway. I'm giving away five free copies of my favorite book on depression and anxiety from last year and it is called Lost Connections by Johan Hari. All you gotta do to enter is tag a friend, ask him how they're doing, get connected baby. So a lot of you have asked me about two different things recently. You wanted to know my thoughts on surviving R. Kelly and you also wanted to know my thoughts on the Gillette ad. This is a way that we can kind of talk about both because I think they're both intertwined in a way and it's crazy the timing of this thing too, right? And you know, I'm making this video, you know, because a lot of this does have to do with mental health. If you look at what R. Kelly was doing to women and abusing and the trauma that they went through, right? Or if you look at masculinity and how we treat women and all of that, like this is important stuff that we need to talk about, okay? And I know that most of my audience is female. I have about an 80% female audience. So I'm glad that I get to touch on these subjects and you know, potentially help some of you out. All right. So let's break it down real quick. So the Gillette ad controversy. All right? God, I can't even believe that this is like a thing, but hey, welcome to the world we live in. So Gillette, they made this ad. I'm sure most of you have seen it, you know, by now. And basically they touch on a few things such as like toxic masculinity and bullying and the Me Too movement and all of that, right? And there's a bunch of guys out there who are like, not all men, not all men do this and don't worry, we're going to touch on that in a minute. Then there's the new series, Surviving R. Kelly. A lot of you have asked me to watch that and Tristan and I just sat down to start watching it last night. So we only got to episode two, but yeah, like it's really sad to watch. It's interesting. Like, we're going to finish the series. I might do more videos about it. So stay tuned because I have some questions that I need to ask you about the series as well. All right? But anyways, let's talk about how these are intertwined and what we could do to make, you know, this world a little bit better of a place because here's the thing. Here's what I was like, I was like, when Tristan and I watched stuff and my brain's always going like we pause it and I'll like talk to her about things. And like the first thing I'll say about Surviving R. Kelly is this. This is why we need to be better as a society. All right? This is why we need to be better. Okay? Like I might do a video later on about, you know, why R. Kelly turned into the, you know, the thing that he is. Right? But like, you guys, like we screw up our kids and then our kids turn into screw up, screwed up adults. All right? Like, let me repeat that for the people in the back. We screw up our kids and then our kids turn into screwed up adults. Okay? Like this is just how the brain works. How all this stuff works and we need to pay better attention to what we're doing and we need to start getting better right now. All right? So this is huge. All right? So I'm glad that Gillette made this ad. Like what people need to realize, what people need to realize is that abusers do not just wake up in the morning and they're like, oh, you know what? I think I'm going to start assaulting and abusing women. I think I'm going to do that today. That's not how it happens. Okay? Like something I'm always trying to teach you guys, especially with like mindfulness and everything like that, is notice the messages that are going in your head. So the other day I was doing a live stream and I was talking about like being mindful of your thoughts and trying to recognize where your thoughts are coming from. All right? Because like, especially with negative thoughts, most of your negative thoughts aren't even coming from you. They're coming from your mom or they're coming from your dad or they're coming from an ex-boyfriend or girlfriend. Like these thoughts get implanted in our heads. So for many men and young men, not all men, but for many men and young men, you know, these are thoughts that are implanted by, you know, society or even our parents. So I love my dad to death. He's amazing. He raised me. My mom was an alcoholic when I was younger. So my dad raised me, right? And he did the best that he could. But my dad was a masculine man, right? And he taught me what it was to be a man. So later on in life when I started evaluating things, like I had to question it. Like, I had a question like, is this the man I want to be? You know what I'm saying? And like, you know, my dad just, you know, when it came to like flirting and like dating and you know, and things like that. And you know, my dad, one of the things that he taught me was to always, you know, be respectful of women. And I'm very fortunate. But you see people like, like Jake Paul and Logan Paul. You're wondering why they're so freaking messed up and why all this womanizing is going on. And then you look at their dad, Greg Paul, like, hello. Is anybody getting this into their brains yet? Like again, like people don't just wake up and become a crappy person. It happens over time. All right. So with somebody like R. Kelly, this happened over time. So I'm going to be doing more videos about the African American community here in Las Vegas, not Las Vegas, here in the United States, because like I've told you, I'm half black and this is something that, you know, we need to talk about. Like there's, there's a lot of complicity and a lot of enabling that happened in R. Kelly's life based on the way that, you know, even African American men ask, you know what I'm saying? Like, I know, like when I'm around my family, like I can see some of that stuff and I have to sit back and look and say, all right, you know what I mean? I'm like, here's, here's one of the saddest things about what happened with, you know, R. Kelly and all of his, you know, victims or survivors, if you will, is that he was being enabled. Like he had a bunch of dudes who were like recruiting young women for him. He would just like look over there and his boys would be like, yo, or Kelly wants to meet with you. Right. Like people knew this wasn't a secret. Everybody knew what was going on, but we got dudes out here saying, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, let boys be boys. Let men be men. Like, no, if you see your douchey friend doing something stupid, call them out on it, right? Imagine what might have happened if back in the nineties, some of R. Kelly's boys would have called him out. Like the way I see the Gillette ad is it's a call to action. It's a call to action for men to be better. And I just don't understand the delusion that people live in where they think this isn't an issue. Actually, let me take that back. I do understand. I do understand. Like you guys, I'm not stupid. Like you might not be self-aware enough to realize it, but why do you think so many people, so many stands, come over to my videos defending their favorite YouTubers? Because when you're looking at them, you want them to justify your behavior, all right? That's what you're doing. Like that's just how it is. This is why I teach you guys about confirmation bias. You're trying to find people to act the way that you want to act so you can be like, oh, oh, well, well, that guy over there, he's doing it so I can do it too. All right? Like I know why guys are upset. You don't want to be called out. You don't want to have to change, all right? But this is another reason why the Keemstar situation like upset me. Like let's talk about this real quick. And sorry, this just popped into my head. It pisses me off that Keemstar is like, whoa, leave my daughter out of this. Don't talk about my daughter. And people were bringing up the hypocrisy. Like Keemstar, don't you understand that Erica Costell is somebody's daughter? Don't you understand that Eugenia Cooney is somebody's daughter? Like chill out, chill out. Like you guys, this is what happens. It gets passed down through generations. So we need to be better and start calling each other out. So I just put up a poll over on my community tab because so many people have wanted me to talk about surviving R. Kelly. I get afraid. I get so afraid. Like I'm surprised that my Elimation videos went as well as they did. But like I'm afraid to talk about it because I'm a guy. I'm a guy, right? So I put up a poll basically explaining like I don't want to make videos that are insensitive or might come off as victim blaming or anything like that. And I'm like, do you think I'm the right messenger to talk about this, right? So most of you said yes. And I asked you to leave comments and explain. Like how can I do this better? All right? Because as many people who pass through here and don't know me and think I'm just some insensitive a-hole, like I do care about this stuff. But I do want to show this one comment right here because something that I was talking about like is if I'm talking about the signs of abuse and when a woman needs to leave this comment right here said like how about you teach men to quit being abusers and I'm like bingo. But do you see what happens when we try to teach that? Do you see what happens? People are throwing their Gillette Razors in the toilet. By the way, can we talk about how stupid this picture is for a second? The dude put his Gillette Razor in the toilet. So one of two things is gonna happen. One, he's gonna flush it and have to call the plumber. Two, he's gonna have to reach in the toilet with his hand to pull it out. Like was the meme worth it, bro? Was it worth it? Now let's talk about the not all men movement, okay? As I've explained many times before there's a part of the brain called the posterior cingulate cortex. This is part of the default mode network. This is our selfish and self-centered brain. We think everything in the world is about us, right? And I love it. I love it so much. Like I know people get mad at my titles but I have so much fun. So I have a series why everyone hates blank. So like for example, like I have why everyone hates Tristan Paredes and there's so many people who like comment like not everybody hates him. Not everybody hates him. I'm like I'm not talking about you. Or during the Shane Dawson series I made a video said why we all need to apologize to Shane Dawson. I had so many comments saying I don't need to apologize to Shane. I don't. It's like, man, it wasn't for you, baby. It wasn't for you, okay? So all the guys were like, not me, not me. I've never sexually assaulted a woman. All right, cool. Like you don't like, what do you want? You want a meadow for it? Like I'm not talking to you. Not everything is about you. Do you know how much better your mental health would be if you just realized, if you just realized on a daily basis, like let me just say this, okay? Not everything is about you. Just once a day, once a day, maybe have a reminder that set off on your phone. Just once a day, maybe three times a day for some of you out there who are very self-centered. Have a reminder that goes off on your phone that says not everything is about me. Oh, interesting. Interesting how that works, right? But the last thing I wanna talk about is I have a son. I have a 10-year-old son, so he's growing up fast. But anyways, I remember when my kid's mom got pregnant and I was definitely afraid of having a daughter. I was so afraid of having a daughter because I know how dudes can be, because I'm a dude. I was a dude who was growing up. You know what I mean? And I know about that masculinity, so I was so afraid to have a daughter. I was like, man, if I have a daughter and she's treated even nearly as bad as I've seen my friends, or even at times when I was being a stupid idiot back in my younger days, I would lose it, right? So now I'm raising a son. It's my responsibility to teach him how to be a good man, right? And what does that mean to me? What does that mean? Yeah, I'm gonna let my boy be a boy. I'm gonna let my little man be a man, right? But that doesn't mean cat-calling women. That doesn't mean being a womanizer. That doesn't mean trying to, you know, get in a position of power to manipulate women. That's not what being a man is, right? And trust me, I get it. I was, I know I might not look at it now because I put on a little bit of weight, but I was a triathlete in high school. I did football, wrestling, and track. I was one manly dude, right? I was always up in the weight room. I actually set some bench press records, you know, some other lifting records and stuff like that. I was a manly dude, but like, dude, like I know what happens in the locker rooms, right? I know about how guys like to brag to each other about their, you know, conquests and things like that. Like, I get it, you know what I mean? And this is why I try to teach everybody to work on their mental health in different ways because I had to get out of that mindset. I had to get out of that way of thinking, you know? So like, we need to teach our young men how to be better people, right? And I'll revert it back to Keemstar. You know what I mean? Like, I need to think about, like, what message am I putting out there? What is my son going to see? Because, you know, if Keemstar ever sees this, sorry, bro, but you're a father, you've talked about it, but we need to think. If his daughter sees his tweets, if she sees his videos, is she going to think that it's okay for men to talk to her that way, all right? So if everybody remembers the golden rule of don't be a dick, this world will be a much better place, all right? And, you know, best of luck to the guy who's got a fishes razor out of the toilet. But anyways, if you haven't commented on my poll yet, go comment on it or leave comments down below. I have some ideas to talk about the R. Kelly series in a way that I think won't be, you know, insensitive. A lot of you recommended that Tristan does it with me to get a female perspective. Tristan is camera shy, so she won't be doing that. But my mom, Dr. Randazo, she will be here this weekend. So I'm thinking about doing a video with her to get the female perspective. And she's been in mental health for 20 years now. So she's worked with a lot of abuse survivors and all of that. So maybe I'll do a video with her. So if you have questions, comments about abusive relationships, how to get out of them, what happens or whatever that is, let me know down in the comments below. All right? Anyways, that's all I got for this video. Oh, and don't forget, there's a giveaway over on Instagram, go now, go check it, all right? But if you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up if you're new. Make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton of videos. And a huge, huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel over on Patreon. You are all amazing. And I will be doing the Q&A either today or tomorrow, so it'll be up this week, all right? Thanks again so much for watching. I'll see you next time.