 I think men love more authentically than women. Huh? And this is what I mean by that. You said it, you said it. I said, I think men love more authentically than women. And this is why. I can agree. But go ahead. Before you say your spiel, I'm going to see where you're going with it and see if I'm feeling where you're going from. You've heard me say it before. OK, so, OK, because women, we can find and look and figure out how to love somebody. We can love your potential. We can love what you're going to become or we're going to make you. Correct. But when a man falls in love with a woman, he pursues her with a vigor like nothing else. When he's in love with that woman, that is his love. That's what he's like. He's focused on it. But us, we can find a way to love. You know, yeah, we will love some potential. We've done it. We've done it before. I've done it before plenty of times. I love what they will become. I ain't doing it no more. I ain't doing it. Thank you all for deliverance. But we and when we say we love somebody, because our feelings are so a part of our makeup that we jump into it. That was those feelings of love, whatever, like whatever it is. And we overlook a multitude of faults and mess with the man. It's hyper focused when it's that woman. But when we's in it, OK, I'm breaking off for you. Oh, well, break it down. Break it down. What you got? And it brought me back to when I heard y'all heard this saying a man marries who he wants and a woman marries who she can. And I heard that and I got upset and I was like, wait a minute, what you mean? But when you think about it, a man is very solid on his boundaries when it comes to his legacy and given his last name. Now, having a girlfriend for years, whatever he does with you for years. But when it comes to his last name and his legacy as a wife, he don't bend on his boundaries. Us as women, if he has the potential to be a good husband and we can kind of make it up and make it look like what we wanted to be will bend on dealbreakers and boundaries in order to get a ring. Because we fantasize about marriage. But a man, I don't care what you do. You can threaten to leave. You can leave. He'll be there with you 10 years if you stay. But when he gets ready to get married, he's going to marry who he wants. I don't understand. I don't agree with me. I was I don't know when I had to think about that and be mature about that. Because I was like, wait, I'm going to marry who I want. But let's think about when I went back through the relationships I had been in. A lot of them was because I could not because that's who I wanted because I picked something that I could deal with and make up this man and build a man and then go along with it. But in those men that would not commit those men that stayed in those situations, he wasn't bending. I don't care what trick you do. I don't care if you swing from the chandelier, come clean, whatever it is. It don't matter because whatever it is he's looking for in a wife. If you don't have it, you won't get a ring. He's going to peep it. He's going to peep it early. He's going to give you years to change it. And if you don't change it, you know, he he he already got an exit strategy. See, that's how, like you said, a man loves a woman, right? I mean, if like, let me give you an example. If we find a woman that's broken, right? We'll love that broken woman. We'll try to raise her up out of her brokenness. And the day that she doesn't acknowledge that value that he's put into her, he excellent. He's never going to marry that because he already know that you didn't take the time to evaluate the time that he put in to that whole span of your growth and development. So he's like, you know what, you wasted my time because my time was an investment. You ever heard the saying that the most valuable thing you can give a person is your time? It is. So if a man spends five or ten years with you, then you got a woman said, girl, he married you yet. Right. It ain't that he don't want to marry you. It's something in you that he see that ain't marraable. Which means he should exit as women try to force that instead of saying, if you ain't figured out in a year or two, baby, we can be cool, but I'm out because whatever it is you want to see, either I'm not getting it and I'm not going to waste any more of my time. So I'm going to let you go ahead. If you see it from a morning, go ahead. But if not, I'm out. Yeah, so to go back to the point, men love more authentically than women. What I mean by that, women are in love with love. Yes. And because of that, I think you guys are wired to stick anybody in that spot. You can you can make him fit and part of the reason I know that, like when I've had conversations, right, that I was involved with. And, you know, let's say we were talking about sex. Very often, a woman's sex dream, it's a silhouette of a man. It's not even somebody they know. Very often, like when I ask, OK, who was it? It was just a shadow. I be knowing who I be. I'm a dreamer. But when I say that to say, you guys are socialized from little girls to fall in love with the process, the pageantry of love, the the courting phase and the dates. And you know what I'm saying? He put his hand on my thigh and we walked down the aisle and all that stuff. On the flip side, when a man figures out that realizes he's in love, that's not a happy experience. He's like, God damn it. Because that was. Oh, wow. So now because again, our two jobs are provided protect. I love her means that I'm willing to die for her. That's not part of your responsibility. Right. Right. So we're not going to be as flippant or as, you know, generous with that love. Plus, we're not socialized to fall in love with the whole process and shit like that. Right. There was a stand up special by Patrice O'Neill. He was talking about this club and it's sectioned off based on people's relationships, status and their gender. So there's a group of single men having a good old time. They happy they drinking a pop and bottles of wine. There's a group of single women miserable as hell. Wow. Where my boy? There's a group of women in a relationship. They happy as hell. They popping bars. They having a good time with my man. Welcome to my right. And then there's a group. And then there's a guy throwing a pop quiz round. I like it. And then there's a group of you're fine. You're good. Yeah. And then there's a group of single men. Marry me. Oh, man. Marry me. They miserable. They just as miserable as the single women. I wonder why? Because again, for men, we think about love through the lens of duty. We think about love through the lens of responsibility. These aren't sex, sexy things, right? We think of it as oh, man, I have to be ready to do whatever it is. Even if I don't want to, whether that's battle, whether that's work, whatever the case may be, as a single dude, you live in for yourself. But as a as a married dude, as a man in a relationship, you give a fuck about her, you care about her. If she get off work late, you on the phone, making sure she going down a lit up, you know, it's innate to us. So with that being said, we're not enthusiastic about that process because that's another job for me. So if a woman gets me to fall in love with her, she got me. She got me. What makes you fall in love with a woman? So wait, I was going to say, are we able to ask a question? So would you say that's why me and run from that? Absolutely. Or run from commitment because of that responsibility that comes with loving a woman in commitment. So two things. A lot of the complaints I hear from women, especially, you know, younger women is, you know, I'm ready to settle down. I'm ready to commit and he's not. He's still trying to be a fuck boy. I've been guilty of that Monday. The thing is, we have to understand. I'm racing against a financial clock. You're racing against a biological clock. So you you ready to be settled down by twenty five, twenty four. Even if we be in real sixteen. By and large, the devil is alive. But for most men, our clock is based on can I pay a mortgage? Can I support a wife and two children? Can I support two car payments? Can I support insurance and things like that? And for most of us, we're not going to get there till thirty five. Right. Thirty early. And this is if he's a tech bro and things like that. So yeah, we're not as enthusiastic about y'all. Like jumping into that with y'all. But the unfortunate thing about it is when he's ready, you might not be able to pop kids out. So that the time line, the exactly that's where that tension is. And he might now be looking at let's say he's thirty five. He might not be looking at a thirty year old whereas he wasted your time or he let you go, whatever the case may be. Yeah. And it's the unfortunate reality. And I'm still trying to figure out what the solution is because I'm not hugely on like huge age gap relationships. Yeah. But I think that's some of the miscommunication between our niggas and shit and women and question us and things like that. But I mean, I understand the financial part, but what if you got a partner that's a go get it? Is she going to go get it like you go get it? What happens in those nine months? What happens in those nine months when she can't get it? She can sit down the whole nine months. But that's that's how we think. Because remember, men are provided and protect. Right. Prevision is about getting the money. Protection is about protecting what you have. But that's also rhetorical in the sense where. Think about being a bodyguard, right? Let's say I'm your bodyguard and we're about to go out this door. OK. I have to assume there's somebody right here by the stab. There's a sniper on that roof. There's some there's a puddle right there. You might triple. I have to be pro worst case scenario oriented. Similarly, men are worst case scenario oriented. So whether you are able to help me out during your pregnancy, we're going to default to you can't. We're going to default to what if she loses her job? We're going to default to. So until I can feel confident in my ability to literally take care of you, I might not be as enthusiastic about and then this whole new age thing or we building together and things like that. But again, women are also talking out the other side of the neck. I want a man who makes six figures. Six would come to the table six inches and six pack and all that. Well, I hear a lot of men talking out the side of the neck. How about the women to have and we got to go 50, 50 on news and you got to pay people. What about the 50 50? Men are doing that too. Let's talk about. Let's say 50 50 anyway. Let's talk about. You can't get the ring. Now they're like, oh, I got. She got to bring something to the table now, man. I ain't going to be even to eat off me, man. Like what? When does that happen? Where was that disconnect? Because the women started using the man for the money. Oh, I guess. It turned into it went from we looking at men to provide and protect to the women starting to be like, oh, I'm going to take it for all he got. I want all his coin. He's going to buy me this. He's going to buy me that. And they're not valuing the providing and protecting part. Like you should feel honored that a man wants to do these things for you and not feel like let me take all his stuff. And so now I'm being looking at us like all we want is money. When in reality, no, I do not make my own. Now, if you want to give me some, thank you, but I ain't about to be out here. Like, oh, I only want to be with you because you got a coin in your pocket. I can kill this. I'll say this. One of the things that, you know, doing this has taught me is sometimes we over-represent certain subgroups of people. Okay. And what I mean by that is, you know, like on YouTube, Facebook, Instagram, you always see these videos of women who, yeah, I'd rather date a drug deal and things like that. Not realizing that oftentimes, let's say I'm out doing interviews with a camera, it tends to be that type of individual that's willing to be interviewed. The good women are not willing to be interviewed. They're gonna walk past, oh, thank you, I'm good. So those people who are like, yeah, he got it. Flew me out. Those are the ones who are the most bombastic. And then they end up over-represented. Similarly, I think unfortunately with what about these 50-50 dudes? Personally, I don't know any 50-50 dudes. And I think what happens is a lot of the, like I said earlier, a lot of the 50-50 archetype type of dudes are the ones who do the best with women. They were typically raised by a single mother. They typically have a whole bunch of style and swag and, you know, hood, you know, aesthetic in the whole nine. Now underneath that, just like you were talking about the dude who's been in prison, those are actually the most feminine men. Low-key, people don't realize that it's femininity. It's pseudo masculinity, which is femininity. We don't identify it that way. But that is the type of behavior that's incentivized. That boy grew up seeing his mom be Wonder Woman. So obviously he's going to expect it from the woman that he's with. And now we're using him to over-represent Black men, not knowing that there's a whole swath of Black men who are willing to take care of you the whole nine. Unfortunately, he might not have a swag. He might not have the emotional exhibitionist that you're used to in the man who's like, you know, can't leave me like everybody else. That's manipulation. But a lot of women are used to men being emotional in that way. Right? He's going to be boring because he's peaceful. And not toxic. I think it's an age thing now. And maybe not. I think it's a mature thing. And it's a healthy thing. It's the people who are on a healing journey who want to deal with whatever their issues are to and be more realistic about their expectations because that sounds crazy to me. In our 20s, yes. Baby, I wanted to be a hood drug dealer for real. I did. I had a couple. Okay? Yeah. I'm 35. I never wanted them because I'm skinny. I'm skinny. Well, I'm a BK and that was rebellious. So I did that. But it's also to the men that are the good men, they've come across a woman that has said, I'm going to take him for everything I got. Now he's broken. So when you meet the good woman, then now you are traumatized and have PTSD. Now you're trying to figure out what's her motive. Exactly. Because although you coming at me a different way, you still might have a motive. And I can't go out like a sucker. You see, that segway into what I was about to say, I feel like the 50-50 thing has come about because men have sat back in observance to see the men who have had the financial success. I mean, just completely abiliated. So I mean, I can't match a Tiger Woods pocket, but I can see the example that no matter what amount of money I get to establish that with a woman, her loyalty ain't to that. So the thing is men like, okay, well, I'm not going to provide that no more in the sense of me taking care of everything because now he want to know whether or not the relationship is real. You're going to go 50-50 with me. It's our thing versus my thing, right? So he wants to feel a little more secure now. So he's looking at it as, okay, well, I got all these examples of all these celebrities and ball players who make the money I'll probably never see who take care of the woman who still is not appreciated. So men now are starting to have that awareness that I'm not going to fork everything out and get left, but I did that myself personally. You know, I dealt with everything financially for 20 years, right? And then my ex-wife decided she wanted to leave because I couldn't put the type of time in with her when I was running a business, right? She found somebody that was less valuable than me to give her time.