 Are you a man or woman in sobriety and you don't want anybody to know about it? You might feel embarrassed or ashamed and you want to keep it on the down low. Well, I actually used to be that way too. So in this video, I'm going to show a little bit about my story about how I had some closet sobriety and I want to give you some advice and some tips about how maybe it can help you be a little bit more open about it and maybe we can help more people. So stay tuned. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and yes, in this video, we're going to be talking about sobriety. So my clean date was June 23rd, 2012. So I have a little over five and a half years clean and I want to talk about how I was in the closet about my sobriety for a long time and what a hard moment I had that made me kind of snap out of it. So please watch this video in its entirety and if you know somebody out there who is maybe not too vocal about their sobriety or maybe is struggling with the same issue, like please go ahead and share this video with them or just share it on social media. Okay. So anyways, man, one of the biggest reasons why it was difficult for me to even admit that I was a drug addict or alcoholic was because I thought drug addicts and alcoholics were scum. Okay. I thought these were people who are stealing from their family, hurting the ones they love and it's true. I did all those things. Like I thought these people were complete degenerates. Okay. And my mom, she was an alcoholic the first 20 years of my life and I never ever ever wanted to be associated with anything on that level. So like that was one of the reasons why it was so difficult for me to admit that I actually had a problem, you know, but it was also one of the reasons why it was hard for me to just be open and honest about this thing because I sat back and I was thinking like, man, if I have so many harsh judgments about addicts and alcoholics, what is the rest of the world thing? You know what I mean? So like when I first got clean, like I didn't tell anybody. I told nobody. So I got sober in California. I'm from Las Vegas. So I went to California and most of my friends thought that I just moved to California for no, no big reason. You know what I mean? The only people who knew like why I was there and about my sobriety was like my parents and some of my close friends and some family members. That was it to everybody else. They just did not know. So I stayed out there and like, it was, it was worrisome. And like, I know I promised you all a video and I will do this soon. I was worried about how I was going to date. Like, how do I tell like somebody I'm trying to date like that I'm sober now? You know what I mean? And by the way, part of that is this cause of sobriety thing. Like we're afraid to tell people because of the way that they're going to judge us, right? But anyways, so when I was working on myself and working on my recovery, like one of the first things that I learned was like, you know, this thing is like an allergy, okay? And I've done some other videos about the symptoms of alcoholism or addiction. And if I look at this thing like an allergy, I have an abnormal reaction to alcohol or drugs. Once I start, I can't stop. Okay, I struggle with a mental obsession and a physical craving. And I look at it and I'm just like, you know, if it's like an allergy, I'm like, nobody looks at somebody with a peanut allergy and they're like, man, that guy's a jerk. How dare he be allergic to peanuts. But with the way that alcohol or drugs affect us, we do some really terrible things because of it. And that's why it's looked at so much differently, right? But I get that. I knew that if my employers found out my future employers, because I was unemployed at the beginning, my future employees, if they found out, they might be, you know, looking at me differently, they might be worried that I'm going to relapse or I'm going to steal from them or, you know, what if they had these bad images of addicts and alcoholics in their head? You know what I'm saying? So anyways, I spent my first 15 months in California and I was in a big recovery bubble. Like everybody I knew out there was sober. So like, Hey, you're sober. I'm sober. Cool. But then I moved back to Las Vegas where I got back into the working world, right? I didn't tell my employers, it was none of their business, dah, dah, dah, dah, dah, you know, all these things. And I just kept myself about my sobriety. And what happened was, on June 23, 2014, I went to a meeting and I got a coin. And I was like, walking back home, after this meeting and getting my two year coin, I'm looking down at it. I'm just like, man, like, I never thought in a million years, I never thought in a million years, that I can get two years sober. And then I sat there and I thought about it. I'm like, how many other people out there were as hopeless as I used to be? They're currently this hopeless. And they think that it's impossible to get clean and stay clean for this long. I said, well, I'm, I'm proof of this, but I'm not telling anybody about it. And I'm like, that's crazy. I'm like, that is really, really selfish of me. So first thing I did when I got home, I hopped on the Facebook, I took a picture of my two year coin. And all I did was make a very simple post and I just put two years sober. And man, over the next week, two weeks, I just started getting flooded with messages like people who I haven't talked to in years are like, Hey, man, I think I might have a problem with drinking. Can you maybe help me out? Like, what did you do? How does this work? Or I'd have people who said like, Hey, I think my mom, my dad, my sister, my brother, my friend, I think they might have a problem with alcohol or drugs. What can I do to help them? I started seeing just people immediately coming to me and turning me. I'm like, Oh my God, like addiction is affecting so many people and so many people's families. Like I can't believe I waited for two years to do this. You know what I'm saying? So I look back on it and I regret how long I stayed in the closet about my sobriety because I could have helped a lot more people. But one of the reasons I make this channel is to be more open about it. Like I can't give people hope if nobody knows about what I've been through and how I've stayed clean. Now I do want to make clear because I have this conversation with my clients all the time at the rehab I work at. Like I'm not telling you to do anything. I'm just giving you my perspective. Like I don't want you to watch this video and go scream on the rooftops or go to your like local radio station and say, Hey, everybody, I'm sober. Like you don't kind of do that, you know. Unfortunately, there is still somewhat of a stigma. Like why am I like sugarcoating this? There is a stigma out there, but I've had people who are like afraid that their boss is going to know that they're in recovery. And like the way I look at it now, like honesty, like and the way I look at even relationships, like why would you want to work there? Like why would you want to work there with people who are judging people in recovery? Like when I got sober, I realized that addiction affects everybody. Men, women, people of all ages, every race, every gender, every single religious background, sexual orientation, everything. Like we are just normal everyday people. And like the fact that people are afraid to talk about this, it really breaks my heart. And it's one of the reasons I make these videos to spread awareness and decrease the stigma. Like employers and stuff who discriminate against addicts or alcoholics. Like that is ridiculous. That is ridiculous as well as an HR nightmare, by the way. But anyways, I have personally only heard maybe once or twice in over five and a half years, only once or twice out of hundreds and hundreds of stories, once or twice that a person let their employer know that they were in recovery and it turned out bad. So I'll end with this last little quick story. So I was working for a content company. We wrote content for websites and stuff like that. We ended up getting a rehab client and they wanted writers who knew about recovery. They were either sober or they have family members or they were at least educated, right? And I hadn't told my employer that I'm somebody in recovery. So anyways, we have this account. It's a huge account and the first batch of articles we send them, they are livid. They're like these people don't know anything. So I'm sitting there and this is before I like came out like on social media stuff like that. Or maybe it was right after, I don't know, the drugs that mess with your your memory, you know what I'm saying? Anyways, so what I did was I pulled my bosses to the side and I was so nervous because I knew that I could help out with this account because I'm a writer too. That's why I worked there. And I knew I can help them out with this account, but I was worried about what they would think. So I asked to meet with two of my supervisors and we went into the office and they're like worried that I'm gonna like put in my notice and like I'm worried that they're gonna fire me after I tell them. And I was so nervous, like anxiety, like level one million. And I sat him down. I said, listen, I know we're having problems with this rehab account and they want people who know about sobriety and recovery and drugs and alcohol. I said, just so you guys know, I am like two years sober. So I can help out with this account. And my boss just looks at me and she says, I knew it. And I'm like, what? And like, yeah, it's almost like our addiction when we thought like new nobody knew how drunk or how we were. That's what it was for me. I thought nobody knew like I had been with this company for a while. And and like, you know, there was like holiday stuff or like people went out for drinks after work and I always like have these excuses like now man, I can't go or I would go and I'd say no, it's okay. You know, I don't really drink or I'm not having anything. You know what I mean? So for some people, the wheels were turning so she already knew she already knew so something even more beautiful happened later. My my boss who I told she told me that one of her friends, one of her friends had a son who was struggling with an opiate addiction. And she was wondering if I could talk to her friend and I'm like, yeah, of course, absolutely. And I was able to talk to her friend and say, Hey, like, listen, my mom was in the same position that you were when I was in my active addiction. You know, and not only that not only was I able to help give her some hope, but I linked my boss's friend up with my mom. So my mom could talk to her on a level of like, what it's like to be a mom when your son is killing themselves with drugs. You see what I'm saying. So like, in my personal experience, I've never seen anything but good come from me talking about my my addiction, my struggles, my recovery, all I've seen is the good. So, you know, I really hope this inspires you. Like I said, I'm not telling you to go make a YouTube channel or, you know, go tell everybody on the planet, you know what I mean? I just want to kind of get your wheels turning and have you kind of think about like what this might be able to do to help others. And you know, like what I realized was like, my motives were extremely selfish by just not telling people. I was so worried about me, I wasn't concerned about how it could help others. It's almost like in my Black Panther video I've made, which I'll link up in the info card above. But yeah, anyways, like I said, if you know somebody who's in recovery or somebody who's in the closet about their sobriety, like just go ahead and like share this video with them, share it on your social media. There might be a lot of people out there in sobriety that you don't even know about because they're in the closet about their sobriety. So please, please, please share this video. Let's share a message of hope decrease the stigma, erase awareness. Okay. But anyways, if you liked this video, give it a thumbs up. And if you're new, I'm always making videos about addiction, recovery and mental health. So make sure you click the subscribe button. You can also click or tap on one of those thumbnails right over there. So again, thanks for watching. Go spread awareness, let people know that we got nothing to be ashamed of. And I'll see you next time.