 Okay, here we go Hey guys, what's up? To be honest today, I just want to talk to you Okay, well to start off this video I guess I should tell you last night I was having a kind I couldn't get to sleep Okay, I couldn't get to sleep and I was just like literally thinking having one of those those nights when you kind of have an existential crisis and you just begin to look at areas of your life and You know, what it what's working? What's not how are things going and to be honest as I was evaluating my life I was just left off with this overall sense that I feel like I'm behind I feel like I'm behind and that fear of feeling like I'm being that I am behind actually really cripples a lot of areas of my life and And you know, I feel like I'm behind career career wise Me or making a YouTube video. I'm not like a It's just hard for me to you know, feel like what I'm doing is significant or matters and In some ways in a lot of ways just like financially and stuff like that. Yeah I feel like I'm not measuring up to where I should be in regards to like Social life and stuff like that. It's like I don't have any as many friends as I may want as I do one I want more friends to be honest like close friends like good community that kind of thing and sure Yeah, there are areas of my life where I'm like, yeah, I like that but at the same time I think we all deal with this kind of fear of feeling like we're behind in some way like we're not as far along as we should be and And and it's crippling it's crippling when you live in that in that fear on this week I've been reading I've been doing some reading and I've also been you know, thinking about this kind of topic and Just in regard to like living in fear and I think a lot of us and you know more including myself we live with fear and we We act out in fear. So it's not like we So, okay, I'll give you an example When I feel like I'm behind in some way my fear that fear of feeling like I'm behind motivates me To do something and that could be a good thing, you know fear motivates a lot of people to be productive and do things that matter But for me it actually prevents me a lot of the time from relaxing and not feeling guilty when I'm not doing something So if I'm watching, you know, the Toronto Raptors game Toronto Raptors are big here in Canada If I'm watching a Toronto Raptors game I'm just feeling guilty about watching it because I feel like I should be doing something else Maybe that's a sign that maybe I haven't finished everything that I should have but maybe that's also me letting fear of being left behind being You know behind all my other peers or whatever it is this fear that I'm not measuring up Get in the way of me actually enjoying blessings that God gives me in my life And maybe you experience this too you act out of fear kind of as a preventative measure to Not experiencing the things that you're afraid of so you work extra hard You let your work become your idol because you're scared that you're not gonna be come successful Or you're not gonna be able to provide All that stuff, you know, and there's a couple other areas that I was thinking about what do we live? What are motivations for living kind of thing when we talk about yeah living With this motivation of like fear like letting fear drive us Some people let pride drive them and pride just like this idea that I'm the best. I'm awesome So I'm gonna do all this stuff because I'm just that awesome That's another area that I struggle with as well, but you know this idea of Can faith motivate us to actually live lives that aren't consumed with fear so when we trust in God fully Then we can kind of let these things go and we don't have to be afraid of feeling like we're behind in some way like we're not You know, we're not where we should be or think we should be it's like when I think about my career It doesn't make sense. I have no idea what I'm doing I try to feel like I try to piece it together like I have some kind of plan that's going on but the end of The day I'm 20 years old and trying to make YouTube videos online and write articles and write books and just You know try to see what works and just trying to serve God and at the end of the day Honestly, I don't know if it's gonna work I don't know if I'm gonna be able to do what I want to do or be able to Like there's a lot of questions. There's a lot of questions, but at the end of the day if I'm trusting God Then then that should be that should be a place of peace, right? Cuz if I told trust in God and I was talking to my dad about this this morning If we have total trust in God that he has our best interest in mind Then we shouldn't be afraid of being left behind in some way like we're behind of our peers or other people like we're We're not measuring up because of God's grace. He accepts us. He loves us and that's what I'm honestly trying to really really began to understand You know, there's Last year I was at a conference actually a local homeschool conference It was the conference that I actually spoke at this year Which is kind of funny, but last year there's a speaker that came in I don't remember a lot of what he said, but he had mentioned that there was a moment when he truly understood that God loved him And I was just thinking about that how so often we're kind of consumed with Anxieties and worries and fears and and especially for me That's a big thing that I battle with every single thing every day of my life. I I'm battling with the idea What am I doing? Why am I doing this? You know, I feel like I'm behind I feel like I'm not measuring up. I feel like I'm not good at anything But when I When I heard that this guy had this moment when he really truly understood that God loved him That kind of that moved me a lot because for me, that's a daily a Daily struggle to really understand that yeah, God does love me and what are the implications of that and I want to ask you what are the implications of that in your life where the areas of That fear have really taken hold of you and you're just acting out of fear like you're you don't want to be left behind or You want to seem like everybody else or you want to fit in and all this kind of thing? because I guess What I want to get across to you guys is it's really really really really hard to be To be okay With not necessarily knowing what you're doing It's really hard to be in that space where you're just trusting God Even though you might not know where the next step is You know, I don't know what I'm gonna be doing two months from now I don't know what I'm gonna be doing a month from now Like there's so many questions in my mind and ever since I left University which I'll probably be making a video about soon and why I did that But ever since that happened there's kind of been a lot of questions But the end of the day if we're trusting God, we can't let that fear take hold of us And that's what I'm trying to do So I Guess that's all I have to say is that I'm gonna begin to trust in God continue to trust in God And believe that that he has his That he has my best interest in mind and ultimately that he is working things out for my good and his glory And that's all I could ask for and at the end of the day if I'm you know If things don't go exactly the way I want to or maybe even I am behind in some ways that that's okay The God's got me and that's what I'm gonna continue to believe and I encourage you to Believe the same thing. It's not easy. It never was never never will be But we can trust God Thanks for watching guys, and I'll see you later. Bye