 The makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to enjoy life. Life with Luigi, a comedy show created by Cy Howard and starring that celebrated actor Mr. J. Carol Nash with Alan Reed is to swallow. Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum is giving daily enjoyment to millions of people all over America. In offices and factories, on farms and branches, in mines and oil fields, folks find that chewing Wrigley's Spearman helps them feel better and work better. The makers of Wrigley's Spearman Gum are glad that their product is proving helpful and enjoyable to so many people. And they're glad too that they're able to bring you life with Luigi because they know it's the kind of a radio program that millions of Americans enjoy. And now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes about his adventures in America to his mama bascoe in it. Mummy, I was a beautiful spring of weather here and I'm just to come back from a sitting in a park. It's a funny thing about a sitting in a park of Mama Mia. If a man doesn't sit on a park bench to enjoy the sun, he's a call a son of Bader. But if he's a sit on that park bench all year, then he's a call the bum. But anyway, sitting in the park, I was... Well, I was thinking how we used to go to the beautiful park near our little town in the Castellamari. And remember Mama Mia, how once we went on a big picnic over there, you, me, Aunt Josephine, Uncle Pietro, and a 50 sandwiches. And remember how when we was riding in the hay wagon and we smelled something funny? That's the one we knew somebody else who was to come along in a picnic. Here, I was Uncle Pietro's gut. And he's ate all the sandwiches and a wax of paper didn't even spit out the rubber bands. Mama Mia, we wasn't so starved. But the reason I'm right so much about these are good times is because this is Sunday. My whole night to school or class, we're going to Big Riverview Park here in the Chicago. Here, I'm here that they got a crazy ride like at the rally coaster, the hoop of the loop of peanuts, hot dogs, a fortune of dollars, and a fat lady. I know Pascale, he's going to want, I'm sure, to take his daughter Rossa with me. But I'm going to think one fat lady in a park is enough. Oh, Mama Mia, she's so fat. When somebody is asking me how big Rossa is, five feet to one or five feet to two, I'm going to say I can't measure like that. She's more about about a half acre. Well anyway, Mama Mia, it's now time I'm sure to go to my night school and find out more about the Sunday. All right class, quiet please, please. I'll call the roll. Mr. Baskow? Here? Mr. Howard? Mr. Olson? Mr. Schultz? You have to ask? Oh, thank you, fellow boobies. Oh, I'm so sharp tonight. If you're so sharp, Mr. Schultz, let's see you answer my first question. Who wrote The Village Blacksmith? Huh? Who wrote The Village Blacksmith? Him and Oliver Sutton, I got so dull. I thought so. Mr. Horowitz, would you tell us? With pleasure, Longfellow. His full name, please. Sightly, Mr. Longfellow. No, no, no, he had a first name. What was it? Uh, uh, uh... It begins with an H. Uh, uh, uh... Horowitz. I got it. Horowitz Longfellow. His name was Henry Wadsworth Longfellow. I don't know what's happened to the class today. But you're Basco. Huh? Perhaps we can take up the poem itself and get a correct answer. Will you recite the village blacksmith? The village blacksmith? All right. Under a spread in the chest and at the trade. Under a spread in the chest and at the trade. Spread in the chest and at the trade. The will of the chest and the break-heat spreading. It's gonna be a try and a red one. Bas, what's happened to you? Well, I'm a salamist, but maybe it's because we're all thinking about the beautiful time that we're gonna have at this Sunday. Oh, I see. Oh, that could be. I am already thinking of the fun I am going to have on the loop-to-loop. I haven't been to a ride like that in years. You know, I understand that there's something new now. You climb inside, it takes you 300 feet up in the air, and while you are spinning in a circle, you turn upside down and move backwards. Well, then you come out alive if you get your money back. Well, in a way, I can understand why you're not thinking of schoolwork. Are you all bringing your wife? Yeah. And I suppose you're bringing Rosa, Mr. Bascoe. Oh, that Rosa is a barrel of fun. Yes, she's a barrel of life. No, no, I'm not gonna bring her. Then who will you bring? You know, the school supplies us with two combination tickets for each person free of charge, so you might as well bring someone. Well, I was asked to Shelly Smith in Hamburg, Spain, but she's already got a date. But I'm not gonna find someone. Well, don't worry, Luigi. You got a few days yet. Somebody will come along. Well, I don't believe in waiting. You gotta go out and get someone, Luigi. Luigi, have you ever thought of picking up a girl? Picking her up? Uh-huh. What if she's enough for then? Oh, it's weird, don't come. Picking up a girl means you stand on a street corner and you give her a wolf witzel. Wolf of witzel? Yes, sure. Here, like this. Now, look, a pretty girl turns the corner so you poke her up and then you try like this. Achimel, I'm married so long my witzel is pooped. What Mr. Schultz is trying to tell you, only in a not very subtle way, is that you might enlarge your circle of feminine contact by attempting to be friendly. Leave it to a school teacher to give the facts of life so nobody can understand. Luigi, it's very simple. When we were young, we used to do it. You meet the girl and you say just to get friendly, understand? Excuse me, miss, but you look just like my sister. But I'm a no-girlish sister. Oh, and then you say, uh, hasn't that met you somewhere before? Yeah, but if I'm a metter before, then I should remember her. No, no, I'm a no-likeness. I think if I'm a wanted girl, I should go with me, then I should ask, and that's all. Luigi, I don't see the best policy, but when you're asking a girl for a date, you're not buying insurance. Class, I think we should let Mr. Baskill try his own approach. Now, are you going any place after class? Well, I'm, uh, I'm gonna go to the library. Good. Ask the librarian. And don't worry, any nice girl would give her right arm to go with you. Sure, Luigi, with your approach, she'll... Well, when you ask her, I'm positive that she's gonna... Well, if she don't go, don't blame her, Luigi. After all, a librarian needs both arms for her work. Sir, this book is 11 days overdue. Well, I'm sorry, Miss, but I'm a really finisher with a book two weeks ago, but I'm not gonna bring it back till today. What? Well, I'm a finished it, but then I'ma lend it to my friend, Harowitz, who's a lend it to Olson. Olson is a letter to his wife, I read it, and I'ma just to get it back today. It did get around. Miss, you think, uh, you think about lending out the book so much I'ma taking away the business from the library? You do seem to be running a private little library. Hey, you got a nice, nice laugh. You gonna mind if I'ma like it? No, of course not. Let me see. 11 days at two cents a day, that's 22 cents. 22 cents? Yes, you were overdue. That's a fine. That's a fine? Hey, you're talking like a man, that's a fine. Oh, that's nice. Here, I'ma give me a quarter. All right. And here's your change, three pennies. That's all right. You keep them here. I'ma gonna hold the next book a day and a half extra and then a week. Hey, you know something? We both like to laugh on the same things. Yes. How do you like it to laugh at me this Sunday? Oh, no, I couldn't. Why not? Well, I'm too busy. I haven't been out on a date since Christmas. Oh, since Christmas, sir? Uh-uh. Miss, you better come with me, you four months overdue. Oh, no, come on, please. You're gonna have lots of fun. They got all kinds of rides up in the loop and loops. And all of my classes are gonna derivative you, Parker. Come on, please. Well, all right. Oh, good, good. Oh, the head librarian's watching us. She's very particular. Well, that's too bad. She's gonna have to find somebody else to take her. She's my friend. Hello, Luigi. Hello, hello. Hello, Pascal. Hey, what are you doing with all those books in your hands? What's happened? You decided to get smart the whole sale instead of retail? No, Pascal. He's a gentleman. I don't care. The important thing is I bumped in Olson today to tell me you're all gonna derivative you, Parker, together. Have you taken a girl? Yes. That's the right thing. Well, don't worry about the food if you're a girl. Sunday, I'm gonna feed her a special breakfast. I'm gonna give her 30, 40 pancakes. And I'm gonna take her along with a little lunch for you. 20 sandwiches. 20 sandwiches? Well, the sandwiches, that's just for you. For roasts, I got three chickens, a couple of loaves of bread. Oh, Luigi, you could have a whale of a time. Oh, Pascuali, I'm... I'm a hate to disappoint you. Huh? I'm not gonna take you whale. What? Well, please don't get angry, Pascuali, because I'm explaining. Explaining me what? Luigi, just because I got two years, don't mean you gotta give me double talk. Why shouldn't I be angry about, huh? I'm not taking a rush. All right, then she'll take you. No, no, is it too late? I already asked her not a girl. That's the reason. Who's the girl, you ask? Oh, she's a very nice girl. Here, she's a... Well, I'm asking her when I was in the library. She's a workaholic. Wait, Luigi, you all mixed up. In America, you take books out of the library, not of girls. Well, what's the difference? I already asked her. She's a goner. It's a date, and I can't take her. All right, all right, then go. Go, I can imagine a kind of a girl as I go out with you. Stoop with a look on a funny face of my brain. I bet she wears her glasses. Yeah, no, no, she's a pretty. Oh, she's so pretty. And she's a wear glasses. And she looks even more beautiful. I'ma rather go out with a girl who's a wear glasses. She can see who she's a goner to with. She must have wore her readin' the glasses. Wait till she puts on her look in the glasses. Ooh, what a she's a gonna see. Banana nose with two eyes like a pumpkin of seeds and a cabbage of puss on a melon ahead. All her life, this little girl's dreaming about a movie star like a Gregory Peck, a Clark, a Gable, Jimmy Stewart. She winds up with a Francis the Mule. No, but you gotta know right to talk like that. Oh, go away, Mr. Face. Only a mother could love. Well, anybody could love me. If they wanna. The love of you, they gotta kiss you and no girl would ever do that. Is that so? Any girl would've kissed me? Yeah, I got a money. There's no girl would've kissed you when I started right off with this Sunday. $25, what do you say? Well, I'ma just a matter. Oh, all of a sudden, you're not so irresistible. All right. All right, it's a bet, the $25. Huh? It's a matter, Luigi. You got a cold feet in your blood? I know, but I... I'ma not a girl that... All right. Pasquale acts a bet. If a girl is a kiss me, then I'ma win the $25. Acts are right, only I gotta follow a little behind you just to make sure there's no cheating. Well, all right, Pasquale. You're gonna be surprised. This is Sunday, you friend, Luigi. Is it gonna be down to one? Oh, look who's talking about down to one. The only down you're gonna be is down to $25 a box. Before we return to life with Luigi, here's a suggestion that millions of people find helpful and enjoyable during a busy day. Keep a package of Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum handy in your purse or pocket. Every time you need a refreshing little pickup, chew a stick of Wrigley Spearman. Chewing on a good piece of gum really does something for you. This smooth, easy chewing helps relieve that feeling of strain and tension. Gives you a bit of comfort and satisfaction that helps you feel better and work better. Then, too, the refreshing real mint flavor of Wrigley Spearman leaves a fresh, clean taste in your mouth. So always keep delicious Wrigley Spearman Chewing Gum handy. Enjoy it often. It's good and good for you. And now let's turn to page two of Luigi Basco's letter to his mother-in-law. Well, mom and me today. Today is a Sunday, and I'm all excited to get myself ready for my date. First, I'ma took a bath. Then I'ma took a shower. And then I'ma took a shaver. That's so close, I think I'ma took off all the next weeks of whiskers. And then after that, I'ma rub on some especially shaver lotion that I'ma made myself. Here's a got a cologne and a lot of alcohol and some winter greens and rose water. A few other things I'ma find in my medicine and chest, which I'ma put in and spilled up for good luck. And mom and me is so strong, I'ma sure you're gonna smell me all the way to Italy. But anyway, soon I'ma go... Well, Luigi, you're already accepted. What is that smell? Luigi, don't you know it's against the law to burn garbage in the house? No, I'm not sure. Stop making the jokes. I'ma make some lotion. That's my own brand. You spill a few drops and it burns a hole in you. Luigi, when are you meeting your girl? 12 o'clock in the library. Oh, Luigi, ain't it wonderful to be going out with a new girl? Yeah. And it should say, I'ma get a better, huh? If she's a kissin' me, then I'ma get a $25. Himmel, are you going out with a girl or with loads of London? No, no. He was so mad. So mad I'ma not take a rose. I'ma bet me $25 and no girl isn't gonna kiss me. Ridiculous, Luigi. A sure girl would kiss you, especially if you give her half of the bet. I'm only fooling, but why did you make such a silly bet? After all, girls don't kiss on their first date. But why not? Luigi, now you own an antique shop. Do you give out free samples to everybody? Well, Luigi, good luck anyway, and you better go alone. Luigi, stay away from you, and better improve your chances. Why? Because two is company, three is a crowd, and four is an investigating committee. Luigi, stay away from us, and don't go on too many rides. Yeah, find a nice hideaway bench and park. And a bench here? And a park? Sure. Luigi, that's called an amusement park. You wanna know why? Because when you park, that's the amusement. Go ahead, Luigi, because it's late, and don't ask so many questions. Yeah, but I should say, you think I'm not gonna win in my bet? Of course, and what if you don't? You couldn't have a worse time than me. I'm going with my wife. My Luigi, be like me, huh? Always happy, always lovely. My romanticism is killing me. Here, do you have a lot of fun, John? Oh, yes, Luigi. Maybe you like it to sit down, huh? Oh, no, I sit so much in the library. Let's go on another ride. Oh, all right. I like you a bushel and a peck, and if you don't get that peck, you 25 isn't going to buy a peck. Who is that fellow following us around all the time? He's trailing us as though he was the FBI. He's the FBI, all right. Fat the boys are in institution. Luigi, how are you feeling? I think I left my stomach upstairs. Here we go again. Well, I'm not worried. Well, I'm not worried. All right, then you hold me. Here we go. Isn't this fair as we're exciting? Here, look. We're going to see the whole country from up here. Look, look at those people down there. They look like a midget. Those are midgets. You're looking at the sideshow. Do you know something, Johnny? You're very sweet. Thank you. Hannah, we were... Well, are we... Uh... We're so, so, so alone. Yeah. Give me a little case, will you? Look, there's that man on the seat behind us. He's bending over, see? Yeah, I hope he's a fallout. Hello, Pascale, Hannah. Well, what do you want? Well, what do you want? Hey, what's happened with your library? Lefty, eh? Yeah, don't worry. She's going to be right back in a... Please, please, Pascale. Why you got to be such a pest? Just to protect you and my investment, that's all. You better do something fast. I think about 20 or 25 is a go to my now. I told you no girl would ever kiss you. Go on, go on. Go on away, Pascale. Come on, she's coming back. You're going to be a little pushy. And stop a wet new lips, Luigi. They ain't a go to no place at today. You, you should have, Jonah. You know, want to sit down in a park? Oh, no, Luigi. We're having too much fun on the rides. Want another bite of my jelly apple? No, no, thanks. The last bite I'm took is a stiller stuck in my teeth. Oh, look. How'd you like to go on a boat ride? Boat ride? Did they got a lake here? No, there it is. It's called the Tunnel of Love, see? Oh, there's a little boat. You and all the little boys and the girls that they're going to, huh? And the big ones, too. Nice and dark in there. Dark? Well, well... Well, what? Well, if you're not afraid, I'm not afraid. Come on, I'll let you go. Night, you sweet neighbors. All right, folks, let's line up and ride the Tunnel of Love. All right, here's the two tickets to Mr. Tunnel of Love. Okay, step right into the boat. Now, take the little lady's hand. That's right. I'll sit down. And off we go toward Uncharted Sea. Well, is it dark in here? Huh? Hey. Hey, Jonah. Hey, Jonah. Hey, Jonah, where are you going? I'm right next to you. Oh, but I'm here for the second. I thought I was lost. Hey, is it terrible, huh? They charge you so much money for the ride, they don't want to spend a ten cents for the electrical item. It's supposed to be dark. Oh, it is, huh? Oh, something is a creepin' enemy. Silly. It's reaching my hand out to you. Oh. Luigi? Huh? I feel cold. Oh, you do, huh? You want to wear my coat, you? No, I'll be all right. Oh, that's good. Luigi? What? I'm a little afraid of the dark. Me too. Yeah, but I don't know what it is. We're soon going to be in the light, and then we can enjoy the ride there. Luigi, these rides don't last very long. All right. If you like it, then I'm going to buy some more tickets later, huh? Uh-huh. Hey, is it funny kind of ride than what they do, huh? Uh-huh. You know, I've got a good idea for the game. What is it? Well, uh... Are you sure you're not going to mind that you play with me? Of course not. What's the game? Well, uh... You splashed the water on me, and I splashed on him. Well, do you have a good time with you? Wonderful, Luigi. Best time I've had in a long time. And I'm going to brought you home at two later. It's already nine o'clock. No, it's not too late. Well, I'm glad you have fun. Good night. Luigi. Huh? Good night. That's what I'm going to say, though. Good night. Good night. Good night. Good night. All right. Good night already. Let it go home. Good night, Luigi. See me some other time? Yeah. Yeah, sure. Well, Mr. Don Juan, how you made out, eh? I mean, I see no lipstick, anyway, out of your face. All right, Mr. Don Juan, don't be so funny. I think I'm a good kisser if I'm a winner, but if she was so nice, I don't want to get a fresher with her. And I stopped talking about it, Don Juan. All right, then I'm going to beat Don Juan. I thought Don Juan anything but about twenty-five dollars. All right, then I'm going to give it to you. Oh, wait. I got a certain party. I want to get the satisfaction of watching this transaction. Yeah, well, who said this is certain a party? Who you think? The girl or you jilted? I'm going to call her. Rosa! Rosa! Rosa! Hey, see my little ferris wheel? Rosa, say hello to the disappointed lover. Hello, Rosa. Oh, Luigi, just the one of the better. You want to kiss me, huh? Well, Rosa's a girl. She is not. She's my daughter. Give me the twenty-five dollars. And I've met a lovely, beautiful girl. Yeah, and then who was it, John? Only trouble is, a girl who wasn't too bashful. I'm almost a loss of my better-with-a-pass quality. Yeah, I'm almost a loss of it because, well, then Rosa isn't helping me out. And even though I'm almost offended, who has awarded it? Because I'm about to get the twenty-five dollars. The next day, guess what I'm going to do? I'm going to take Rosa to the Muslim in a parker because she's helping me with the money. Oh, you should have seen what's happened to me. In a parker, one fellow was a backer. He could have guessed that Rosa's a waiter. He set a summer number. Rosa's sat down on the scale. The scale is sat down on the floor. And now that fellow's working him by the pin at his time. He's a lover of the son of Luigi Basco, a little immigrant. Friends, the makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum hope you've enjoyed tonight's episode of Life with Luigi, and they'd like to remind you to stop at the convenient display of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum next time you go to the store. It takes just a second, and it costs very little to buy a few packages of Wrigley's Spearman for yourself and your family. And you know that you're getting a taste treat that's sure to give you real enjoyment. Wrigley's Spearman Gum is chock-full of lively, long-lasting Spearman flavor. And it's smooth and good to chew on. So when you're doing your shopping, remember to get some Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum. It's healthful, refreshing, delicious. The makers of Wrigley's Spearman Chewing Gum invite you to listen next week at this time when Luigi Basco writes another letter to his Mama Basco in Italy. Life with Luigi is a Psy Howard production and is directed by Norman MacDonald. Mac Benhoff writes the script with Lou Durman. J. Carol Mash is starred as Luigi Basco with Alan Lee, Mr. Stolle, Hans Conraderschild, Jody Gilbert as Rosa, Mary Schiff as Miss Balding, Joe Forte as Horowitz, and Ken Peters as Olson. Music is under the direction of Love Dust. Bob Stevenson speaking. This is CVS for Columbia Broadcasting System.