 So gmom kim says do high value men get turned off if the woman pursues them instead if waiting for them to be pursued. Well you can you can reach out to men just because you send a man a text message or a message doesn't mean that you're like chasing him or pursuing him. You like chasing him and pursuing him is like having a goal associated with it right. If you're like hey I feel like I need connection and you reach out to him and you're kind of coming from this feminine space and you're just like hey you know like I was thinking about you that's not necessarily like that's not pursuing a man right pursuing a man is like hey you know like when are we gonna meet up like let's chat you know trying to get something to happen based on your communication with a man and you know trying to move things in a certain direction that's pursuit right and just sending a guy a message isn't necessarily pursuit and it's not necessarily a bad thing depending on your situation. Now I said this a little while ago and somebody took it in the wrong context and sent ended up sending a guy a message right after he was like you know hey I need some space and she was like oh okay I'm gonna give you some space and so if that's the situation you don't want to reach out to him if you're like hey you know like get back to me when you know you're ready or whatever you don't want to end up reaching out to him then because that's kind of smothering him but if if you're just sending a guy a message there's nothing wrong with doing that that's not a bad thing like leaning back doesn't mean that you can't message a guy