 We invite you to enjoy life, life with Luigi, a new comedy show created by Psy Howard, and starring that celebrated actor, Mr. J. Carol Nash, with Alan Reed as the stalling. Luigi Vasco left Italy to start his new life in America. He promised his mother that he would write and tell her about his adventure. So now let's read Luigi's letter as he writes to Mama Vasco in it. Dear Mamma Mia, in your last letter, you ask why I don't write anymore about my antique business. Well, to tell you the truth, the business is a slow down. It's worse than a slow down. It's a stop. Maybe the reason my little story is no good is because in this country everybody is about things in a big department of stories. I'ma think even if you want to buy a little story, you've got to go to a bigger department of stories. They've got to refrigerate it as a piano, as a suit, as a food, as toys, everything. And I'm even here that the one a famous American, a Jack Benny, he's got his wife from the make company. Anyway, Mama Mia, after more than a one year in my store, I'ma sold the most of my antiques, but I'ma got no money to buy new antiques. Only antique I'ma got to left is my Paulo Revere silver plate. It's really beautiful. You know who Paulo Revere was. He was the famous American jockey. This is a great patriot. He's a runner-up and is a horse, a holler, and the British are coming, one if by land, two if by sea. Mama Mia, imagine how weak this country was. Paulo Revere should have made such a fuss about the one or two British souls. Anyway, I'ma sit here worrying about my business when the door is open up and I feel a big wind coming in. You ain't she, my friend. I love her. Hello, Pascuali. Well, my little pumpkin ahead. Your business is picking up? No, Pascuali. It's laying down. I suggest to what I thought. How do you expect to make a living in this broken down old junk shop? Pascuali, isn't that all a junk shop? Ah, look at all this stuff. Who's going to buy this old harper from you? Nobody. And I myself saw with my own ears how you give a lady $40 a part. Pascuali, I knew this lady. Her husband, he was a very fine musician until he got a sick. You're soft-hearted, soft-headed. What are you going to do with the harper? Slice the hard-boiled eggs? I suppose you're going to become a millionaire with that dirty Paul Revere silver plate you've got in the window. Pascuali, I have a respect for Paul Revere. You don't know this, but Paul Revere was one of the greatest silver smiths in his country. I know, I know. So what? So he's a rider on his horse all day, and he's a yellow, high old silver. I don't know. Look who's going to teach me geography. Pascuali, you mean a history. History, eh? Luigi, when a horse is a runner, does he hiss or does he jog? Well, he's a jog. Then it's geography. Luigi, I'm going to come in here to make you feel bad. I'm going to come in here with a proposition to take all your troubles off your hands. Really, Pascuali? What? Well, you don't have to sell anything. I'm offering you what they call in America good old fashioned horse to trade. Horse to trade? That's right. I take you star, you take my daughter Rosa. Pascuali, I'm no one to trade. You keep her your horse. Oh, you make me mad. Unless you're a stupor, a businessman or you, I'm going to tell you... Wait, wait, wait. ...to mum and me a customer. Excuse me, lady. Is there something I can do for you? Are you the proprietor? Yes, sir. Well, I was passing by and I saw that plate in your window with the sign genuine Paul Revere plate. Tell me, is it a genuine Paul Revere? Lady, if it was a no genuine, I would have assigned it to say fake a Paul Revere. Oh! Lady, believe with this man, this is a Paul's plate. You see how bumpy it is? That's because Paul is the maker while he's a ride man as a horse. Please, Pascuali, I take care. No. What are you asking for it? Twenty-five dollars. Twenty-five dollars for a Paul Revere plate. A fifteen? Fifteen. Please, lady, there's no use to bargain. Ten dollars is my last offer. Ten dollars? But that price is simply couldn't be a genuine Paul Revere plate. Lady, I'm going to give you my word. It's a genuine Paul Revere. Look, you see the marks on this plate? That's the where his horse is eat the frown. Lady, since I'm in a business, I'm a never lie. It's a happen I'm a by-discipline, accidentally from a junkaminer for five dollars. Five dollars? Why, I paid two hundred dollars for a genuine Paul Revere plate. Lady, like they say in America, somebody has a saw you coming. And I'm a don't-to-one of people who should have say in my store, you was a went, too. Don't mind him. He's a just to come from Italy. He's still a wetter between the ears. Well, he certainly has a long way to go before he learns to become a businessman. Goodbye. Lady, I'm a by-discipline from a junkaminer. Ten dollars is my last offer. Since I'm in a business, I'm a never tell a lie, never tell a lie, never tell a lie. What are you, a businessman or Georgia Washington? And you want to give me demonstration every Tuesday and Friday night how you chop down a cherry tree? Pascuali, you want to shoot a light to this woman? I don't care what you do. You're just a terrible businessman. The way you talk, you couldn't even sell a straw to a drown in a man. Pascuali, what the foreign man wants to drink when he's in the water? Oh, what a big boob you are. Millions of countrymen and I had a bring of you from Italy. Why couldn't I bring Patrilo? Patrilo? Sure. There's a man who's a maker, a bigger successor. Every time if somebody's a go peep but he's a piccolo, he's a get a petty. Pascuali, I know I'm a better businessman, but what am I going to do? That's the way I am. That ain't good enough in America. I'm sick of the tired of you soft words that are giving 40 dollars for a broken down harp. I'm washing my hands off of you and throwing away the brillo. Please, Pascuali. Furthermore, you owe me four months' rent. I want it all right for now. But Pascuali, I'm a no-got. Get, go out to find yourself a job. Job? That's all right, the job, a GOB. And if you don't get a job, I throw you out of the store and when you're down and out, there's only one place you can go, the FHA. FHA, what's it at? Flop a house for aliens. Well, I guess the Pascuali's all right. Maybe it's not the good of business. I should have bought things like this, the harp. But his sounds are so pretty. No, it's not even a good of a slice of eggs. Well, it's a time to go to my night school or class, and maybe my teacher Miss Spaulding is to give me some advice about finding a job. All right, class, quiet, please, please. Now I'll call the roll. Mr. Vasco? I'm here. Mr. Harwitz? I'm here. Mr. Olsen? I'm here. Mr. Schultz? If I ain't here, it's a very good-looking fella wearing my suit. Please, please, Mr. Schultz. Now, class, I hope you've all studied the economics lesson we have for tonight. Now, who will volunteer to tell us the meaning of supply and demand? Mr. Harwitz? Supply and demand. Oh, supply is things like automobiles, refrigerators, and new houses, and demand means who can afford them. Well, not quite, Mr. Harwitz. Mr. Schultz, would you care to try? I don't have to try. With my answer, I give a money-back guarantee. Nice to see you so confident. Well, tell us the meaning. Uh-huh. Supply, that's the husband. Demand, that's the wife. Thank you, fellow sufferers. All right, Mr. Schultz, sit down. Mr. Basker, can you explain supply and demand? Well, demand at the Pasquale supply that's the rose. Mr. Basker, are you having trouble with Mr. Pasquale again? That's right. Because I'm going to pay the rent once I should have married Rose. Oh, so now they're still coming out in the wash? What wash? Rose is the whole laundromat. What else did he tell you? If I don't pay him with the rent and money, he's going to throw me out in the street. Oh, that Pasquale. He's so tight he could squeeze two extra hours out of an all-day locker. Mr. Basker, what's wrong with your business? Aren't you doing well? No, Mrs. Spaulding. I'm not such a good salesman. And now Pasquale says I must go find a job. What kind of job am I good for, huh? Luigi, if you want to learn how to sell, you've got to go out and find yourself a job as a salesman. Oh, but, Charles, maybe, Luigi, by his temperament, I sent you to be a salesman. Oh, that's happy cock, eh? Anybody can learn the sell. Look at me. I never told a thing in my life till I opened up my delicatessen store. Today, there ain't a case of hard burn in the whole neighborhood that can't be traced to my valar. For a Schultz. Schultz, I can't make somebody buy what they don't want. Luigi, Schultz is right. You've got to adjust yourself. You're living in a country America where everything is competition. And if you don't learn the sell, sell, sell, you can't exist. Everything is salesmanship. Everything? Yes, please. Without salesmanship, we would all be bachelors. Schultz, Schultz, I'm going to think I can be a salesman. Mr. Bastor, it may be difficult for a man like you to see yourself as a salesman. But remember, some of our greatest men started that way. Why, our own president... That's right. That's right. Harry S. Truman. S. for salesmanship and S. Look how far he went for the next three years. He don't have to worry about selling necktie. Well, that's right. The president of Truman and Oise says much. Sure. And so was President Wilson. President Wilson, what's he sell? You never heard of Wilson's hand? That's right, Luigi. And don't forget who will be this vacuum cleaner. Well, sure. That's right. It's called cowboy, Wild Bill Hickok. Made a fortune, Dylan's the vendor. All right, we'll wait. Class, then maybe you're right. If it's the American way to be a salesman, then I'm going to be a salesman. I'm going to sell, to sell, to sell. Now you're talking, Luigi. This is the help of my antique business. I become a big man. I advertise like a big company. In a subways, on a billboards, magazines in the news papers is it going to be picture of a two beautiful girls are holding and it takes an underneath it to say which a twin is it got the bus call and now for the second act of luigi basco's adventures in chicago we turn to page two of his letter to his mother in it and so mama mia your son and luigi has been thinking a lot and a lot when i'm first to come over from italy i thought i'm open up a nice store i have a finer trade the honest the prices if a lady wants to pull a revere plate that she's a bike i'm on all half of the push down a truck but over here is a not to sell everything is a what they call the higher pressure of salesmanship they got a man he's addressed in a way to court is a ride around in the streets a ring and a little bell in the left and a like a hyena in italy we put him in a crazy house over here is a seller ice cream mama mia it's a scare me to be like this but i'm not gonna be salesman so i'm a sitting in my store looking at the hype and i wonder in the one of the squalys are going to throw me out when the door is open up luigi my fellow boob luigi don't look so bad she's up smile remember behind every dark cloud is a little sunshine biscuit so what i'm about to smile about oh luigi your troubles is over i got your job job or what kind of job a vacuum cleaner salesman frimp Clyde binder vacuum cleaners frimp Clyde binder yeah yeah you get thirty dollars for every vacuum cleaner you sell and you get to keep everything you find in the bag but i'm sure Sahama gonna sell a vacuum cleaner oh luigi she's up they'll teach you to sell they got a special school for that i bet in two days you'll be a cracker jack salesman cracker jacks i thought it was a vacuum cleaner get me all for shimmy no look look look here here's the address from that company you go down there and they're gonna teach you how to sell oh i don't like the shoes and luigi don't be so frightened she's up remember what they say a brave man dies only once a coward dies a thousand times and who can afford so much funeral expenses well i gotta go now luigi goodbye on shimmy luigi basco vacuum cleaner salesman mommy i'm gonna learn to sell a vacuum cleaner and i'm gonna be such a big salesman american people they're gonna elect me president oh thank you thank you men i always choke up inside when i hear the frimp clad binder graduation song now next in our program mr basco will recite the frimp clad binder loyalty pledge mr basco all right i faithfully promise it to take care of my frimper clad binder vacuum cleaner thank the type of junior size and a bag and as a six at the inaccessories and including optional sweet there attachment and it to all the ways a tank asleep and eat the fried the clump burgers i mean i'm in a clump very very very very well mr basco now man i'm proud of you each one of you has successfully completed 27 hours solo on the rug you frimp clad binder commandos have had a pretty tough time of it you've been behind the nozzle steadily and one of our number mr basco came down with upholstery shock fortunately we pulled him through with anti mohair serum excuse me clad binder all right man today you're going out to sell you've earned your diplomas and as you walk out of here you will each receive a length of holes be worthy of it all right men stand up if you have any questions ask them now crimkowitz manoshek shadrack basco well i'ma like to ask it good no question all right men get those vacuum cleaners on your shoulders your success is up to you remember our slogan get that bag in the kitchen oh mama mia this is a salesmanship mama mia it's the third time i'm a worker on the black oh well i'ma got a ring of the bell of summertime i'ma start to hear i wonder how is it gonna come out pardon me lady don't want any i'ma come out the faster than i thought pardon me i don't want any well excuse me mr i'ma just to want to get to my shoe back yeah don't know what any i mean to let you never mind mama mia three times i'ma get his door slammed into my face but i'ma can't to give up i'ma gotta be a salesman i'm in the road it took a long time for him to climb the binder isn't the best mr hey ximada what are you your feet is a drag your face is a flushed you perspired in a pant figure you look like you've been in a six a day bicycle race without a bicycle by squirey i was a selling a vacuum of cleaners selling a vacuum of cleaners you look like you've been fighting them oh so you try to be a salesman there that's going to please don't make a fun i'ma have enough for trouble every place i'm a god i slam a door in my face out of my nose out of my feet one lady finally lets me in the house but i guess some have plugged the wire in the wrong place because of the lights that go out the radios are blow up and a true goldfish is electrocuted oh you're big stupid a greenhorn a boob so you want to be a salesman there don't you know today salesmen don't live along they're dropping like a flies what do you mean pick up on the new york paper every day you read about the death of a salesman so right what's the matter with you louis you look you still got a vacuum clean out of your shoulder that's all right tomorrow i'm gonna bring them back hey louis you type like you was always you're gonna have a tough in america you should have been a rich man's son a married for money sponge off for the older man be what they call a hypocrite listen i'ma not taking over an answer you know marrero sir you pay me my 200 dollars a rent or i throw you out of the store with you broken down a hop what do you say my well all right the pop louis i accept your proposal now we call it a little bride rosa rosa see my little pigeon say hello to louis hello rosa don't just stand there your bride groom is tired why you know say something nice after him shut up your face rosa i got a good news for you louis g is he hello i'm interested in that paul revere plate in the window how much is it well he was asking a ten dollars for it but he's not interested in now he's a no salesman no salesman ten dollars why it can't be genuine at that price can't be genuine wait a minute lady that's the place i mean that's the place is the cost of your 200 dollars what you want to somebody should have sell it to you well i'ma sell it to you just the whole other plate in your hand a feel of the weight is it worth three times the 200 dollars well it does feel quite substantial it's a genuine applaud the Clyde the binder and i'm in a reveal don't hesitate lady act an hour is it going to be too late i'ma got 12 of the people outside of waiting to put it in place well don't rush me act so what do you want do you want to be rushed there he who's a hesitate is to lose everything something else so nobody is in all this is the only place the life that is in the holocaust really about 200 dollars ladies it cost me 190 dollars i'm making a 10 dollars a profit on the whole deal of well what do you say well i'll take it fine i thank you for the money not tell all of your friends about me oh i will i will it's a pleasure to do business yeah sure look into your hands at 200 dollars a cold of cash and ball you really put a while over and with such a straighter face so you tell her it's the only plate in the country ha ha you paid 190 dollars a foreign ha hey louisey i set a way to get a rich that's not a louisey that's the way to get rich uh-huh i'ma put the one over hey lady lady wait louisey where you going i'm not going to give back at the money lady but why louisey you should have been proud of yourself proud of myself sure now you are big salesman as a pasquale i'm a big salesman but now i'm adjusted to be going to hate to myself what lady lady wait here mama basco i'm an old one you should miss you male but your son louisey is still looking for a certain party and he's enough come back he asked i'm a so this letter in the store so i'ma finish it for him you know something big is that happened to your son today mama basco he's enough to get a hit by a truck he's gonna have an accident it's something that's happened to him on the inside today your son is almost to become like a well he's almost a changing tour well is a harder to explain but your son louisey is the same like he always was and i think i like it a little cap at your head like a dad don't you worry about his paying a rent i'ma buy something very important from him is the cost to him 190 dollars and i'ma pay him a 200 is a half yes old antique hundreds of years ago a sick musician's wife a soldier for 40 dollars i'm lucky to get it enough well goodbye mama basco i'm a proud to say i'm a friend of that little punk in the head of your loving son louisey basco the little immigrant wife of louisey is a cy howard production and is written by mac bennoff and lou derman and directed by mac bennoff j carol mash has starred as louisey basco with alan reed as the squally hunts conrida schultz and maryship is miss baldy music is under the direction of lin murray wife with louisey will be heard again two weeks from tonight at the same time next week this half hour will be included in the time devoted to the cbs documentary unit's latest production the people's choice starring ralph bellamy now appearing as the star in sydney king's latest hit on broadway mr bellamy will come to cbs to play a freshman congressman whose career might be that of any of your washington representative cbs cordially invite you to hear the people's choice starring ralph bellamy at the same time next sunday over most of the same cbs network station