 Hey there friends! How's it going? My name is Kevin and today we're playing Startup Company, which is great because before, I had my own Startup Company. If you didn't know, I had my own business where I ran a retail store. And if you can't get hit by cars in this game, then I see no problem. Then they should go fine. That was the one problem with my last one. So let's jump right in. This game starts at the age of 80 and blah blah blah. I recommend it for new players. A custom game, yes! This is gonna confuse me, I bet. Uh, company name can be gobsheets. Limited. Perfect. My CEO name can be head gobsheet. X manager, that's what I was. And I was a head gobsheet. Great! This guy's the payless, so I'll be him. Perfect. Choose a name for your website. What do people search for on the internet? What is the most searched for? Got it. Porn. Porn.com. We got in there early. We got the domain. This is going to be a success no matter what we do. What's it going to be? A gaming platform? A dating platform? A video sharing service? Yes, that doesn't make sense. No, we're going to be a social media. All right. Where is porn going to have their headquarters? It's a pretty nice office. 3,000 a month, I could do that. Wow, I got money just for spending money. I love economics. May as well put this in the middle. We don't really have much furniture. We'll just run extension leads out to the desk. Potential users, zero. Global position 60. With a URL like that, how is this not working? I know I'm not doing anything yet, but still. Head gobsheet. Put him in. Put him in coach. Oh my god, for sitting down I got 5k. Okay, if my business fails in this world, I deserve to fail. All right, head gobsheet. Let's look for someone to join the team. We don't want to get an expert because we don't want them to be better than me. I don't think I need a HR manager. I'm the only one working here. So unless my other personalities kick in, I think I'll be fine. I need one designer and one developer. So give me a developer. He's just looking on fiverr, isn't he? I don't blame him. That's all I'd call typing away. Developer maximum price $5. Wait, he's found no one. What do I do now? All right, let's look for a designer instead, I guess. No candidates. What is it? Did he go home? Head gobsheet. You're a CEO now. You can't just go home in the middle of looking for someone. Great. Now because I swapped that he has to go back to the start. He's forgotten everything he's done. The previous day, he's just going to start googling again. Go on, head gobsheet. Go on, you can do it. You're doing great. He's 100% happy. God knows how. He's in an empty gray room on his computer alone with like no lights I might add. Okay, we found someone. Perfect. Let's just get them. I don't really care. Monthly salary zero. Would you be willing to accept that? She was offended and left the negotiation. But think of all the exposure that you're missing out on. All right, let's try actually offering him some money. Like, what do you want? Can you come to me with an offer? He was offended by 700 a month. Okay, this is trial and error. Oh, this person's a moron. Think I'm the moron for pronouncing it like that. But you'd be a good gobsheet. Come on in. Like, if you gave me an idea, like, I don't know this world's economy. You get five grand for sitting in a chair. If I lived in this world, I'd be filthy rich. Okay, how about that? That seems like a good offer. Counter offered with 7,900? Oh, you know, I just accept. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm not giving you five grand for sitting in a chair, though. Only the head gobshite gets that. Okay, now I need a designer. Wait, I should probably get her somewhere to sit, shouldn't I? She'll just come in and it's just a one desk. All right, there we go. We can sit opposite each other. We're not really making the most use of this room, are we? All right, start with the video component and just do everything. Okay, thank you. We don't even know what we sell or what we do yet. All right, let's try doing the same. Wait, that was the maximum we were able to get. What is going on here? Look, just send her this offer. She accepted. Okay, this person is stupid. Welcome to being a gobshite. You'll be a good fit by the sounds of it. Yes, I did it. Okay, I got five grand just for doing that. Okay, research. What should I do? I think we need to actually make the website now. That might be a good call. All right, I think we can do it here. Okay, great. Let's add a feature. It literally doesn't even exist yet. Okay, landing page. Perfect. This is kind of relaxing. Also kind of eerie. I don't know. I don't know how I feel about this. Just typing with nothing else going on. It's kind of calming. I don't like it. Does porn have a landing page yet? Can you hurry up please? Okay, so we need back end component, UI component and graphics component. We need a back end for porn, please. A back end for porn. Oh my God, my CEO wants a seven hour work day. You're the boss. You're never going to get one of those ever again. My other employee wants that plant in a black vase. They're easy to please, but oddly specific with what they want. Oh, the other one wants it too. All right, fine. I'll bite if this will help productivity. The place can use it. They're dressing up to be honest, even just for the fresh air. We have these two closed windows and that's it. I don't think we even have a door. I know that I'm looking at it. All right, planting a black vase. Thank God you have this very specific item. All right, we'll put that up there. Great. I hope that motivates you. Okay, upgrade to level one. Yay. We have a web page. Wow, your new landing page will definitely make people excited about porn. All right, let's do an email campaign. We go to the marketing tab. Let's send out a few emails. Do some cold calling on the emails to promote porn. Email campaigns, gender. I don't have the right insight. Okay, I don't know how to send it to just mail. So I guess it's going to everyone. She's saying don't be afraid to increase the budget. All right, if you say so, more, more, spend more, double it, double it, send out those emails. Oh my God, everyone loves porn. Look, potential users reached 100%. One new jeets. What's a jeet? I think I'm the only jeet here. I'm an E jeet. Oh, it's just a jeet on jitter, of course. Oh, I sound like a boomer. Okay, I think we need a new feature for our website because we're getting loads of people to visit, but there's nothing to actually do on the website. Sharing functionality. Let's add that feature. I think that's a good idea. I need a lead developer if I want to add on the sharing feature. So let's look for another gobsite for the business. Yes. Okay, they're just accepting whatever I give them now, which is kind of worrying because I hope I'm not giving them too much. All right, there's going to be a bit of a shuffling. The business is going well. And now I've realized I am more important than them. So I'm going to sit at my own desk and watch over them. There we go. And you know what? I get the plant. It's moving behind my desk now. I get the fresh air, not you. Why are the people not coming in? Come to work. Where are you? Why are you at home? They're late. How do I paddle them? How is this office at a whiteboard? You know what, I might actually try and fulfill some of their demands. What do you want? A whiteboard and coffee machine seem to be in demand right now. I'll put the whiteboard here and then we can put that message from the Simpsons. Don't forget you're here forever. And coffee machine is mine. Kevin like coffee. All the good stuff goes over to my side. It's day 22 and we still haven't had anything to the side. It just says the home page that probably just says coming soon. Oh my God. He's been hunting for employees constantly. I forgot. I forgot to put him doing anything. All right. Upgrade the head gobshite. Just keep training, dude. I honestly don't even know what you do with this company. I don't even know what this company does. We're a social media website called porn and we have one page, just the home page. Like what's the designer even doing? A full-time employee to do feck all. In fact, I think they're all doing feck all except for the lead designer. It's head gobshite's birthday. He's 19 years old. No one knows what he does with his life. He's playing feck in Minecraft over there. I can tell them by the way he's moving his arms all like this. Are we almost there? It's day 40. Come on, please. I'm just asking you to be able to share stuff on the platform. Honestly, just sign up for a Squarespace account or something if it's taking this long. Nell Norris called in sick. I don't have a sick plan by which I mean like I don't know what to do if you're sick. I need you to finish this. This is the last thing I need. Please, can you just come in? I'm not a good boss, okay? Okay, we got it. Yes! Thank God we've added it and that gave me $60,000 for some reason. Who is paying me here? Who is my investor? Johnson Invest, God with a name like that. He kind of had to go into this kind of business, didn't he? Okay, I think we can start marketing the thing again now that we have something else to show. It's like, hey look, now you can share stuff and there's a gap in the market for being able to share things on the internet and that's where we're gonna slide right in. All right, the ability to comment might be a good one. Let's do that. Oh my God, my speed is so high but he doesn't fucking do anything so I don't know if it really matters. Let's give him a new desk. He deserves it. Oh, retirement fund. Let's drop a load of money into that. A whole $12,000. I think $12,000. There we go. Look at that. So many users. Everyone's really fucking impressed. Oh, this person's from Johnson Invest. I thought his name was just Johnson Invest, like his second name was Invest. He was Mr. Invest. It's like, I did it, mom. I caught investments. Oh, yeah. Who'd you get it from? Mr. Invest. I need an admin, like a system admin apparently. I need to hire another person. God, this place is kind of a bit stacked up. You've been idling for about a week now. You look for someone. Okay, if I know anything about techies, they're gonna want to sit away from everyone else so I'll put them over here facing the wall and they'll feel like they're at home. They'll be in their comfort zone. They're already pissed off with their quality of desk. It's your first day. Come on. All right, you know what we need? We need some actual income because I'm just getting paid money to do random shit right now. No, stop head hunting. God damn it. All he does is Google and browse LinkedIn. All right, we're gonna look for a salesperson. I need to make money. After all, this guy works at ebay. That kind of sounds like a porn site. I'll hire you. I'm always worried when they just accept my offer because I know I've overpaid. All right, join the pack. You'll just be staring at the back of Nell Norris' head there. Oh wait, oh God. I think I hired the wrong person. I think they're a system admin again. No, I don't need you. Hold on. I have to give them 14 days before I fire them. Well, fantastic. Why is he still looking for system admins? You saw me saying that I want a sales executive, right? Am I stupid? That's just out of context question. Like in general, am I stupid? I've been meaning to ask for so long. I got a cheat from someone. I started using porn recently. Look at him. He's gone back to getting system admins. I don't want them. I don't want them. I tell you, God, this must make it awkward. But this is good. You see, if you have the desks like this, people are less likely to be getting up and going to the bathroom often because it's too awkward. So they'll be more efficient. All right, people aren't liking the comment function. So I'm just getting rid of it entirely. Now they can't complain about it because there's no way to comment. I'm a genius. All right, let's get some ads up here. I'll just siphon off more of our funds into my retirement package, I think. Johnson Invest has no idea, do they? Great. I've got my first ads on my website. Fantastic. That's what the people will want, I'm sure. They don't look happy. Why don't you like text ads? They're great. And honestly, you'd be a fool not to listen to them. Wait, they immediately stopped advertising on me. What the hell? Rent a bigger office? But I love the old office. It's so homey. Can I take out a loan? Would that be a good idea? I think it would be because I want a nice big office. Take this loan. Yes. Okay, now I can afford a big office. Oh, wait, not that big. Oh, it moved the furniture in the exact same way. That's so cool. We're just not using this whole side of it. We paid a fortune to get this place. I think we need to get more people involved. It's all about scaling fast and aggressively before you even know what you're actually doing. It really looks like I paid a moving company and I just went with the basic package that said just dump them anywhere because they're just all over the place. Okay, let's get some new employees now. Okay, I have a lot of people working for me now, but I don't really know what most of them are doing. A lot of them are just missing components and stuff. Oh, great. You got a fantastic deal for me here. I forgot that we're supposed to be running ads. I should probably get a manager because I'm doing feck all here. Get me an expert manager because I'm in way over my head. I don't know what I'm doing. Where's an empty desk? There you go. You can't even see over the people, so I hope you're a good manager because you're looking the wrong way. Everyone's behind you. I think we need to improve the website. I've been focusing on everything so much. I've not actually upgraded the website. There's one person just drawing graphics. They've drawn 189 and we've never used them. I've also realized my money is falling dramatically because I don't really have any way of generating income and I'm hiring more and more employees. Everyone seems to be complaining constantly as well. Maybe I should buy them something nice. I changed my mind. Instead, I just built a statue that says feckin' work. Hurry, come on. We're running out of money. Oh my God. We've gone into the negative. I just realized. Don't worry. Mr. Invest has our back. I'm sure he'll support us through these trying times. Oh no. Oh wait. Fortunately, they've decided to give the company one last investment. $100,000. Yes. Okay. As the head gobshite, I'm going to change nothing and hope for the best. I'm sure we have some advertising campaigns to run. Don't we? Where's my marketing dude? I don't know where he is. Hold on. I don't really have a system to split you guys up. Okay. There you are. There we go. Now we're generating income. Okay. We're losing money really quick. We're losing 7,000 for every 400 we earn. Okay. Siphon off some money into that retirement fund. Okay. There we go. Perfect. All right, guys. Well, I left the company in good standing. I think it's time for me to retire. You can take it from here, I assume. Congratulations, head gobshite. After two years of hard work, you're finally ready to retire. It has been a long journey with many ups and downs, mostly ups. Let's take a look at how it went. Can we not? Can we leave it at that? Is that it? Is that all you're going to say? I see why you're saying mostly ups now. You're just repressing everything bad that happened. Hard to believe how much you accomplished in those years, isn't it? Let's see how wealthy you'll be for the rest of your life. They rated me as poor. Well, you will survive, but not for much longer. What? Thank you for all your hard work throughout the years. You know what? For a 19-year-old, he's not doing too bad. He's 70k now to go off and get a real job making YouTube videos. Hey, it's what I did. Like with that, the sort of income, you could jump right in at the deep end. You could buy like a Logitech Brio, go straight to HD footage. And he likes graphics cards and games. He is set for life, trust me. I've set him up nicely. But I hope you enjoyed the video. I hope you enjoyed my start-up. I hope you all really like porn.com. Hold on a second past, Kevin. I just wanted to quickly remind the people that these Terg posters are on sale in the merch store. They can be found in the description. God, they're shiny. Look at him. He's amazing. He's lonely and he wants your company. And he's only available for three more days. So I thought I'd let you know. I really like it. I think it's very Terg. It looks very simple. It's intentionally done that way. But yeah, they're available for three more days if you want them in the merch store. Once that three days is up, I don't think they're coming back. I can't guarantee it, but I really don't think they're coming back. So yeah, they're up for grabs if you want one. I really appreciate you watching. I hope you stay safe given the strange times we find ourselves in. And I hope to see you next time. Bye for now.