 hello everyone another video for you before I begin please hit that thumbs up button down below so it will help to get this message out there to other viewers as well how the narcissist gets you to obsess over them you're constantly thinking about the narcissist you're considering something they've said or done you're going over the same matter in your thoughts again and again and it's like no matter what you do you just can't get your mind off of them even when you try to think of other things it always brings your thoughts back to them to where you want to know what they're doing and why it ended in the way that it did you may be wondering if it was deliberate or if it was just an accident you may be wondering what is actually wrong with them because you're projecting your own human qualities and feelings onto them which are things that they do not possess so it's not going to make any sense because you're expecting them to think and respond in the way that you would when their way of thinking and processing is very different to a normal person so the more you try to understand it the more confused you will become until it becomes an obsession and you will feel like you're losing your mind because on one hand you already know what they did to you you know that what they did was wrong but you have this cognitive dissonance these two conflicting beliefs where you're thinking and even worrying about them and you're entertaining the possibility that maybe there could be a better side to them you start thinking about what could have would have or should have been as though something was possible in the past or you had the ability to do something in the past but you didn't do it so you start judging your own value and character based on what you did you revive the past in your mind you start thinking about other times when things went wrong and then you start to wonder if something is wrong with you and the narcissist will make you feel that way because that's always their objective to make you feel like you're the problem because then you will reassess yourself instead of seeing the actual problem which is them because the person who is the problem is not going to be examining or questioning themselves if that were to happen then the problem would cease to exist so how can you be the problem if you are reassessing yourself that wouldn't make any sense but they find ways to make it make sense by projecting what they are onto you and getting you to confess and accept blame and responsibility for everything that they caused you as their victim to be because they prepared and trained you for this particular purpose and activity to obey them and questioningly to be submissive and compliant to be willing to do what other people want and considering your wishes as less important than those of other people so they already conditioned you into being this way they assigned this identity to you which then makes you feel like you're bad or wrong and you're responsible for everything and in the end it causes you to think deeply about what happened because with narcissists there's always a lot of unanswered questions their stories never really add up it never makes complete sense and they're not willing to go into detail about it or to give you an explanation because deep down they already know that they're wrong it's just easier for them to pass the blame onto you because they already assume that you're going to accept it since they've already programmed you into being this way now the mistake a lot of you make is when you're treating narcissists like normal human beings and you're trying to rationalize things that they're saying or doing you're trying to make sense of it you're trying to explain or justify the behavior or attitude with logical reasons when logic is not relevant or appropriate when you're dealing with narcissists you can't just treat them like a regular person or from a normal perspective where you're trying to construct or establish something based on who you are or from people that you have interacted with before you're making a big mistake by doing that that might work with normal people but it's not going to work with them because they're anything but normal so things are going to deviate from what is normal or usual to you because they lack the key components of a human being they lack effective empathy the sensations and feelings that we get in response to other people's emotions which normally includes mirroring what that person is feeling or we might feel stressed when we detect another person's fear or anxiety but it is not like that for them narcissists do not feel what we feel which is how they can abuse you for years and feel nothing it's like they don't even care but if you went around an empathic person they would immediately sense what you've gone through they would feel your pain and they would be unable to bear it you'd probably break down and cry in each other's arms or it would be like how we come together on here as a community we care about each other and we support each other but it's never going to be like that with them they can't even experience the full range of human emotions this is why they're always angry or upset and they're always trying to project these negative feelings on to you because they're primarily operating from their reptilian brain they're constantly in survival mode they're like animals they don't even try to control their basic feelings or physical needs their savages or barbarians they're motivated by physical and carnal appetites rather than moral spiritual or intellectual forces so they're not even human they're more like monkeys or apes and they're just trying to survive so they're only focused on what benefits them they can barely even see you or recognize your feelings once or needs it's not even a concern to them they're only concerned about their own survival so it's about their needs only which is why they struggle to interact in a healthy manner well what makes us human is how we treat other people it's about being ready or available when we are wanted or needed being friendly and helpful where we are willing to give information or to talk and we can participate in enjoy give and receive together and have the same feeling quality or experience in a way that is fair and honest without favoritism or discrimination and without cheating or trying to achieve an unjust advantage which of course are all qualities and characteristics that you or I possess and they are behavioral traits of humankind's but narcissistic people are not human and that is why you get so confused and you can't understand why they do certain things because you know that you would never do what they do but that's just it you're not the same as them you don't have a mental disorder which means that you're not experiencing significant disturbance in your cognition emotional regulation or behavior you're able to conduct yourself and present yourself appropriately and professionally you behave well in public or formal situations so you're in control of yourself but they are not in control of themselves and that is the difference they're not operating at the full human level or capacity which means that there's going to be a lot of things that are missing from your interactions or engagements and there's going to be a lot of things that don't make sense to you because you're a fully developed human you're not a neanderthal you're not uncivilized you're socially culturally and morally advanced while they are lacking sophistication they're antisocial and immoral they're rude savage wild primitive barbaric and uncultivated and yet you're trying to figure out why things went a certain way because you can't understand why someone would mess up something good when they could have just continued to progress succeed and achieve a particular result and it's because they're missing the key components of what makes us human the components that would otherwise keep them following the correct and established course but they're just not at that level of development they have significant counter defects and flaws that are characterized by intelligence and behavior that is below your usual standard which is why you need to stop thinking of them and treating them like normal human beings because as long as you do that you're going to wind up feeling frustrated and confused and it's not going to make any sense to you because you're expecting them to function and operate like normal human beings when that's just not what they're capable of so you need to manage your expectations when you're dealing with them stop expecting them to be at your level of development and only communicate as needed because otherwise you're going to be really confused and you're going to be obsessing over them thank you for watching if you found this video helpful you can give it a thumbs up down below and let me know your thoughts in the comment section hit the subscribe button and click all notifications to be notified of my future videos and if you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypal.me slash Narc Saviva you can book a one-on-one with me on my website it is NarcSaviva.co.uk thank you for watching and I will talk to you soon