 Hello everyone, welcome to the NARC Survivor YouTube channel. In this one I'm going to be talking about how the narcissist wants you to die slowly and painfully. But before I begin please give this video a thumbs up down below. It's very important as it helps the YouTube algorithm to get this message out there to other survivors. You may think that you're just living your life while you're trying to avoid the narcissist and stay out of harm's way. But the narcissist has a different perspective of your existence. They're looking at it as though you're dying slowly and painfully as the effect and consequence of each and everything they're doing to you. And in many ways their perspective may be quite accurate because if you look at your way of thinking, attitudes, behaviors and beliefs from just a few years ago or from before you got involved with the narcissist it's very different from who you are now. So you are gradually being erased. You're being wiped out methodically because the narcissist is trying to remove all traces of you. They're trying to eliminate you completely. And if that isn't evil enough they also don't want any blood on their hands. They don't want to be responsible for your death. And in fact they want to assign the blame to you as though you're responsible for your own abuse. The narcissist wants you to be driven into an early grave and they want to be the cause of it. They want to be the instigator. They just don't want to have to do the work. So they will often enforce flying monkeys because they want to drive you crazy. That is the whole point of the abuse and it is the only purpose for it. They want to break you but they're cowards. They don't want to get in trouble with the law. They don't want to go to jail. So they want to find a way to break you without touching you. And many narcissists have been successful in doing this to their victims. They have been responsible for their victims' ruin without any proof or without any consequences for their actions. Which narcissists typically view as one of their many conquests or achievements while they continue to present a false image of innocence and blamelessness which is how narcissists have managed to survive this long because a lot of what they do is under the radar. It's not able to be detected by most people. It's psychological warfare. It's a battle for your mind. Where they use propaganda and psychological actions. Where the primary purpose of influencing your emotions, opinions, beliefs, attitudes and behaviour to depress your psychological state or to reinforce attitudes and behaviours that are favorable to their objectives. The narcissists want you to die slowly and painfully. They want to make you small. They want to silence you. They want to get the better of you and bring you under their control. They want to overpower you. And once they've managed to do that, then they're ready to take you out and completely destroy you once and for all. And you're not the first person they've done this to. They have a lot of experience in this area which reveals that they've already destroyed many people before you. And you may already be aware of that. The narcissists may even boast about it because they see it as one of their achievements. They don't care about the damage they've caused. They can act kind and friendly in the beginning, but they always show their true colours in the end. No matter what you did for them, it doesn't matter. They will always betray you in the end because they just want to crush your spirit. They want you to feel defeated, discouraged and hopeless. To wear everything seems dark and oppressive. And it's difficult for you to see any light, any joy or way forward so that they can make you do things you wouldn't normally do. But so that you start engaging in unhealthy coping strategies where you develop harmful predictions. They will even encourage you to do things that they know are immoral or destructive such as drinking alcohol or using recreational drugs. And it's because they're very envious and jealous of you. They despise your confidence. They wish they could be like you. They wish they could have what you have. Which is why they will often take and rob you of the things you have. And they will devalue you and degrade you. Or they may just flatter or reject you. Because they do not want you to coexist with them. They may act nice in the beginning, but secretly they can't stand you. They wish you would just die. Because you're a constant reminder of what they lack. They feel inferior to you. You outshine them. You know their secrets. And they see the truth in you. So they will sabotage any efforts you try to make to succeed. Because they don't want you to be better or more successful than they are. They will even go as far as to intentionally surround you with other people who hate and envy you. To ensure that you are constantly being abused and abused. Because they just don't want you to be happy. They can't stand to see you laugh or smile. They eat some up inside. It reminds them that their happiness will never be like that. So they just want to destroy your happiness. They want you to be miserable, sad and alone. They want you to be anxious and depressed, but you're afraid of the future. You're scared of what might happen next. Or your situation has become so hopeless that you just don't even want to live anymore. And that's really their ultimate goal. To get you to that point where you've given up on your life. You've thrown in the towel on yourself. Because they're just so sick of seeing you laughing and smiling all the time. You're always happy. And it's just a constant reminder to them of how their happiness isn't like that. They're always miserable. They just force a smile or a laugh when you're around. They exaggerate it. They act like they're having a great time just to make you jealous. But really they're miserable. And they're constantly having to witness your happiness. Which they know is real. And they know they're never going to have that. And they're never going to be you. All they're going to have is their feelings of hate and envy. Unless they can find a way to destroy you. Or to destroy whatever you have that is making them envious of you. And it's because everything just looks so easy for you. You accomplish things so effortlessly. Well for them it takes a lot of work. Or they're just too lazy. But for you you establish things so easily. You don't even have to do anything. And things just come together on their own. When it was never like that for them. They had to struggle and hustle. They had to work hard. And even then they never saw the results that you were getting. And they're just sick of seeing you move through life. Where they care free and self satisfied attitude. You approach life where they sense of ease and freedom from worry and stress. You're very pleased with yourself. You show no criticism of yourself. You give satisfaction to yourself. And you don't care about what anyone else thinks. That is such an attractive trait. At least to a normal person. But that narcissists you're dealing with despises it. Which is why they want to dump all of these obligations on you. All of these unnecessary responsibilities. To contain and restrict you from just being yourself. And feeling how you would normally feel. Whatever you've lost. From dealing with the narcissist. Is typically what they were envious of. Which is why you will find that your happiness and contentment with yourself. And your life. Seems to fade away. And you stop doing a lot of the things that you used to do. Your authentic self becomes a distant memory. And yet you seem to find more pleasure in remembering past events. Rather than anything that is happening in the present or future. Which is usually a good sign that you're dealing with a narcissist. Because it's like no matter what you do. You always feel like you have this dark cloud over you. There's always some situation or future event that makes you worry or feel unhappy. And these are the unwelcome and the pleasant effects of dealing with a narcissist. Because you cannot coexist with them and produce long term success. That's just not possible. They have to elevate themselves at the victim's expense. Because that's the only way that they can survive. They have no power, strength or energy of their own. That all comes from you. Which is why you're going to be dealing with a lot of stress. More stress than a high risk investor. The only difference is that there's no return for you. And in fact you're just being depleted. Which will affect your body and mind in many different ways. You will gradually deteriorate. The older you get your health will become progressively worse. Although there may not be any explanation or cause unless you get a brain scan. Because that can reveal if you are being psychologically abused. But when the narcissist sees the effects of the harm that they're inflicting on you. That's when they really start licking their chops. They anticipate with great pleasure as they sharply increase the intensity of the psychological torture. Almost like they've strapped you to an electric chair. And they're just ramping up the voltage until it blows your brains out of your head. Which is probably just one of the many dark fantasies a narcissist has. But either way, just seeing you fall apart brings them so much amusement. Especially when you lose your money, health or physical attractiveness. Because these are typically the things that bother them the most. Which is why they're typically the things that they will try to destroy. They're constantly competing with you. Because they feel inferior to you. So everything becomes a competition where they must outdo you and win. Even though it's never a level playing field. And they always have to gain some advantage over you. They might as well tie you to a tree. As they compete with you in a sprint. So in essence, the competition never makes any logical sense. But they don't really care if it's fair or not because they secretly hate you. And yes, of course, they already know that in reality, they're never going to be better than you. But if they can just orchestrate an environment where it feels like they are, then that's good enough for them. Narcissists are not like the rest of us. They do not view family and relationships in the way that we do. In their mind, everything is a competition. And everyone is a threat. Especially you. Because you're unusually popular or attractive. There's just something special or different about you. You stand out, people notice you. And they do not like that. They are very jealous. So they begin to fixate on you. They desire to get close to you, only so that they can destroy you. They will encourage you to do something foolish and wise, just so they can blame and accuse you. Or act like they're trying to help you, to strengthen your feelings of trust. When they're always the orchestrators of everything. So if something ever goes wrong, you could be sure that it had something to do with them. Because they're the ones who always have to be in control. They won't let you have control of anything. Yet when all is said and done, they will try to blame you and hold you accountable. Which doesn't make any sense. Because how can a person have all of the power and control without any responsibility? That's just a recipe for disaster. Which is why in the end, they always have to assign the blame to their own victim. Which actually just brings them even more joy. They love it. And they can abuse someone and hold them legally responsible or morally obligated for their own abuse. That is the ultimate win to a narcissist. When they can do all of these things to you. When they can abuse you day after day for years on end. And yet to everyone else, you are the one who is labelled crazy. And in their ideal situation, you may become a drug addict when alcoholic. Or you end up homeless in prison when a mental hospital. Or they may hope that you just end your own life. That's usually the ideal outcome or result a narcissist has for their victim. It's usually what they're pushing you towards or trying to get you to do. Because that is the ultimate satisfaction to a narcissist. To know that they turned a happy, carefree person who loves to laugh and smile. Into an emotional wreck who doesn't even want to live anymore. If they can get you to that point they know their job is done. It's mission accomplished. But until that time they will keep poking and prodding. Because they're waiting for that climax. To them it really is the most intense, exciting and highest point of the relationship. When they break you down into nothing but a shell of who you used to be. To where you don't even want to live another day on this earth. They love that. That's what they live for. It excites them, it gives them a thrill. It really scratches that itch. Hopefully it will never get to that point for anyone who is watching this. If you are having suicidal thoughts, please contact the relevant support in your local area. Or if you prefer, you can contact me at coachingatnarksviver.co.uk. As I know what it's like to be pushed to that point. Where you begin to take on and identify with the abusers' shame. And you start to believe that it's you. You lose all hope in yourself and your life. You feel like it's just impossible for things to get better and get it. I understand, but I promise you that things will get better. This life is a gift. And there are so many things for us to experience. So let's make the most of it while we can. As we are only here for a very short time. But just know that narcissists nudge their victims to suicide all the time. It is actually very common. There is a link between suicide, trauma and emotional abuse. More than 700,000 people die due to suicide every year. And of course there are many more who attempt suicide. And in fact it is the fourth leading cause of death among 15 to 29 year olds. And it's because they are experiencing violence, abuse, loss and a sense of isolation. And yet the abusers will treat it as though their victim just made a bad decision. While they were just trying to help them. And this is the outcome or result that narcissists want. They want to break you. While they can still be viewed as this Samaritan who only tried to help you. Who is always so concerned about you. But you just want to go and destroy yourself. Or at least that's what their narrative will be. Because they're very envious and jealous. And they feel inferior to you. They're uncomfortable with your happiness and success. And that is why they want to destroy you. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful please give it a thumbs up. Share your thoughts in the comments section. Hit the subscribe button to receive the notifications. If you would like to support the channel you can donate at paypalder.me slash Narc Survivor. And if you'd like to book a one on one with me just go to my website it is narcsurvivor.co.uk. Thank you all for watching. And I will talk to you soon.