 وأقولوا في القرآن ما جاءت به آياته فهو الكاريم المنزال وأقولوا قال الله جل جلاله والمصطف الهدي ولا أتأوّاله الحمد لله رب العالمين والصلاة والسلام على عبد الله ورسوله نبينا محمد وعلى آله وصحبه أجمعين السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته نبدأ بقصة الله عز وعجل نبدأ بقصة him as he deserves to be praised and how as he praised himself سبحانه وتعالى ونبدأ بقصة الله بأخذ المنزل للمسجر محمد صلى الله عليه وسلم to his family and his companions ونبدأ بقصة السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته د告訴كم all the people watching this short course from المدرسة الامريہ on the muslim family we're continuing our discussion about the general. The way that the rights of the husband and wife are laid out and this is important when we spoke about the till. في أحيانا أسوأ وَلَهُنَّ مِثْلُ الَّذِيْ عَلَيْهِنَّ. The equivalence that exists and the opposite, the kind of opposites, the given take that exists between husband and wife as it relates to their rights. Before we go into individual rights, we want to look at how the rights are structured. So some of them there is total equivalence, one for one. And in others they may not be total equivalence, but there is a kind of a given take, some for you and some for you. وَلِ الْرِجَالِ عَلَيْهِنَّ دَرَجَةَ. And men have a degree over them and we spoke about that briefly in the previous episode. I want to come to a hadith which is very important as it relates to the rights of the husband and the wife. It's a very short hadith. Our mother Aisha, رضي الله عنها is narrated by Abu Dawud, Al-Tirmidhi, Ahmad and others. إنما النساء شقائق الرجال. ومن are nothing but the full sisters of men. شقائق شقائق هى ومسي أختن شقائق وأخن شقائق. It means that you share a mother and a father because you could have a half-brother right. You could have where you only share the father or you only share the mother, but you have a different mother, a different father. So it's a half-brother. Here, when we talk about شقائق, أخن شقائق, أختن شقائق it's the one that is completely shares the same mother, same father, full brother and sister. So why did the prophets, I seem to describe women as the full sisters of men? The meaning of this is nothing to do with sisters as in parents' mother and father here. But here, it's to do with the rights and this is actually a beautiful principle, this حديث of Aisha رضي الله وعنها. It's a principle that says to us that unless Islam makes a distinction and makes a clear exception, every right that a man has, a woman has and every obligation that a man has, a woman has. And that is that the basic principle in Islam is that principle of equality in rights and obligations. Until and unless Islam makes exceptions. Now, that's really interesting because if you look at the way that Islam looks at issues of gender, Islam looks at men and women as being different. And that's why Allah عز وجل said وليس الذكروك الأنثاء that men are not like women. The male is not like the female. And who said this? Who did Allah, الله سبحانه وتعالى said it in the Quran. Who did he inform us that this was said by? He informed us that this was said by the mother of Maryam. عليه السلام. That when she gave birth to Maryam she had swan. إنني نظرت لكما في بطاني محررة فتقبل مني. I have sworn that what is in my womb will be in service to you or Allah. That she would have a son and her son would be in the service of Allah عز وجل worshipping Allah and serving in the place of worship. When she gave birth to a girl she realized the reality of how Allah عز وجل created mankind. That Allah created us من ذكرين وأنثاء. إننا خلقناكم من ذكرين وأنثاء. That created you from male and female. And that the male and female are different. Well they said ذكر وكر أنثاء. She said the males are not like the females. So Islam recognizes that there are differences between men and women. But does that mean that there is an entire series of laws that are just for men and an entirely different series of laws that are just for women? Is that how Islam works? No, there isn't a Quran for men and a Quran for women. Rather all of the laws and obligations the default position is equality and equivalence. That's the default position. Until you bring in evidence which makes an exception for men or for women in a particular ruling. For example we look at clothing. Let's take the example of clothing. So there are certain equivalence. Allah سبحانه وتعالى talked about the libas the clothing that has been given to cover you وليباس وتقوى ذلك خير and the libas of Taqwa the clothing of Taqwa that is better for you. Some of the scholars who mentioned the clothing of Taqwa the modesty in clothing and some of them talked about it in terms of Taqwa clothing yourself with the Taqwa of Allah In any case here we have an equivalence modesty in dress between men and women the same they are both required to be modest cover their عورة and so on and so forth. But then we have differences that come later on. So the basic principle is the same and then comes the issue of the hijab of the woman and the rules and regulations and the difference between the عورة of the man and the عورة of the woman and so on. So we want to understand the way that Islam works is that the rules the regulations the commandments the obligations are for men and for women equally until the Sharia brings a difference between them and we can take this from the حديث إنما النساء وشقائق والرجال women are nothing but the full sisters of men meaning everything that is said to the men in the Quran is said to the women until you have a reason to diverge and a reason to make them different and there are many rules in Islam that are only for men and rules that are only for women but when Allah عز وجل for example said واقيموا الصلاة وقاتوا الزكا establish the prayer and perform the زكا this word أقيموا is given towards the men it's given in the in the form of the verb that addresses men واقيموا الصلاة وقاتوا الزكا and give the زكا it's given in the form which addresses the men and yet this حديث tells us إنما النساء وشقائق والرجال women are nothing but the full sisters of men so the same command goes for the women that Allah عز وجل tells them to perform the prayer to give the زكا however there are some things that are unique to the men and some that are unique to the women and those are well established in Islam and that's such a beautiful balance as the balance of Islam Allah عز وجل gave us a religion that is balanced a religion that is قيمة دين القيمة the religion that is a balanced way and is upright that yes our basic principle is that all the rules for the men are for the women unless there are exceptions and Islam makes plenty of exceptions because لسة ذكرة كالونثة males and females are not the same that's a basic principle of Islam and it's the فترة it's what matches the nature of human beings and it's what will help the marriage to settle and one of the really things that I personally see that cause a lot of marital discord is this very non-Muslim very un-Islamic effort of men to be like women and women to be like men and so the wife is striving to be the husband and the husband is striving to be the wife in one way or another and it sounds funny in the sense that somebody says that's not really possible but you see this reality the wife is striving to have the rights the husband has that are only for him that are خاصة به and likewise the husband is trying to either drop some of the things that are only for him or trying to take something that's a right that is a right of his wife or take it away from her and they're not sticking to what Allah gave them and so we really want to sort of use this hadith to lay out a foundation in the way the husband and wife interact with each other that you have that equivalence that you have that equality but there will be times when the husband has very specific things that are for him and against him or any obligations that he has to do and the wife will have very specific things that are for her and are against her or obligations that she has to do so that's how we can balance those two out and we shouldn't be racing for one person to try to take those away or try to sort of absorb some of the responsibilities or even the rights of the others and that's a lot of times where the marital relationship can break down because the person is not accepting what Allah gave them and we know the one who created us is the one who knows how best we should live as husband and wife our next hadith is a hadith in صحيح البخاري and it is a hadith عن عون ابن أبي جوحيفة عن أبيه رضي الله عنه قال آخ النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم بين سلمان واب الدرداء فزار سلمان أب الدرداء فراء أمة الدرداء متبذلة فقال لها ما شأنك عون ابن أبي جوحيف وانيريتز from his father that he said the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم مجموعة أباً بين سلمان واب الدرداء وسلمان وزدت أب الدرداء سلمان الفارسي ربي الله عنه وزدت أب الدرداء ربي الله تعالى عن عنه صوء أمة الدرداء ربي الله عنه متبذلة وينصوءها تشفلت ليس تفضلت بكامل وانه قبل حجاب قبل حجابه وقال لها ما شأنك ما تفعل with you وماذا؟ رباً she is not well she could be sick رباً something happened to her ولماذا لا تفعلها كما تتوقفت أباً لتفعل ما حدث ما حدث فقال لها ما شأنك ما حدث قالت أخوك أبو الدرداء ليس له حاجة في الدنيا فجاء أبو الدرداء فصنع عليه طعاماً فقال كل فإنني صائم قال ما أنا باكل حتى تأكل فأكل she said your brother أبو الدرداء has got no need of this world it's like he doesn't look at me doesn't know I'm here you know doesn't not in terms of looking after me like maybe he spends but he doesn't you know he doesn't have a need of me not that he doesn't look after me looks after her but he doesn't have a need he doesn't want me to doesn't have any need and then أبو الدرداء came and made food for Salman and he said to Salman eat the food but I'm fasting he said eat it but I'm fasting so Salman said I'm not going to eat until you eat so finally أبو الدرداء he ate فلما كان الليل ذهب أبو الدرداء يقوم فقالنا فنام ثم ذهب يقوم فقالنا فلما كان آخر الليل قال سلمان قم الآن قال when the night came أبو الدرداء stood up as if he's going to pray so Salman said to him go back to sleep then he stood up again to pray Salman said to him go back to sleep so when the end of the night came سلمان said now stand up and pray so they prayed they prayed together فقال له سلمان إن لربك عليك حقا ولنفسك عليك حقا ولأهلك عليك حقا فأعطي كل ذي حق حقا سلمان he said to أبو الدرداء he said your lord has a right over you and yourself your body you have a right over you and your family has a right over you so give everyone who has a right over you their right فأت النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم فذكر ذلك له so أبو الدرداء he came to the prophet look at how the sahaba used to be رضي الله عنه came to the prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم and he mentioned what سلمان said فقال النبي صلى الله عليه وسلم صدق سلمان the prophet's license said سلمان told truth so this now has the ruling of a hadith your lord has a right over you you your own body has a right over you and your family has a right over you فأعطي كل ذي حق حقا give everyone who has a right over you their right and this is والله that it is from the most beautiful and the most fundamental قواعد and principles that exist as it relates to husband and wife and it relates to all of حقوق العباد the rights of people what is the the essence of it how do you know that you are achieving your goals as it relates and your responsibilities as it relates to marriage give everyone who has a right over you their right and again when we talk about marital discord most of the people this is where people fall down فأعطي كل ذي حق حقا so we see the woman she comes and she complains that her husband is giving rights to his mother which is completely correct and it is no doubt from the greatest of the obligations after the obligation to worship Allah alone he's giving his rights to his mother but he's not giving the rights to his wife so he's not implementing that statement of the prophet's license فأعطي كل ذي حق حقا give everyone who has a right over you their right look in this example سلمان was giving a right to Allah أبو دردا رضي الله عن was giving a right to Allah and he wasn't giving the right to his body and his family Allah is the most deserving of anyone for you to give his rights to yet when it was at the expense of the right that Allah commanded to give to his family then it wasn't praiseworthy when it became at the expense of the right that Allah commanded him to give to his body it wasn't it wasn't praiseworthy so if that's true of the rights of Allah عز و جل then wallahi is true of every other right including the rights of the parents that everything has to be in balance likewise the wife she's given her rights to her children she's really taken that responsibility for her kids and she's taken it very very seriously she's making it very important but she's neglecting her husband she's not giving him his rights or she's looking after her husband and she's neglecting the rights of her children the husband is more deserving of her giving rights than even her parents and yet still she's given rights to her husband and she's not giving it to her children or she's not giving it to Allah عز و جل and that's even worse that the husband's given rights to his wife but he's not giving rights to Allah and you can take in this also we can bring in this topic of atheism because the reality is you know people talking about non-Muslims who've got really good manners and really kind and really and at the end of the day what they're giving rights to their neighbor they're not giving the rights to Allah they're giving rights to their friends they're not giving rights to Allah they're giving rights to the environment they're not giving rights to Allah عز و جل that's not praiseworthy what is praiseworthy is for out كل ذي حقن حقه everyone who has a right over you give them the right that they have give Allah his right give your parents their right give your spouse their right give your children your neighbor even the environment even the you know the environment the world that you live has a حق over you has a right over you give everyone their right as for the people who give rights to the birds and the animals and the insects and the trees and they don't give the rights to رب العالمين there's nothing praiseworthy in this or they don't give the rights to their fellow human beings or people who give rights to the human beings but they don't give rights to Allah or people who give the right to Allah but they don't give it to their family like this رحبانية like they lock themselves in the room and they worship Allah but they don't care about their family for all of this is blameworthy what is praiseworthy is for out كل ذي حقن حقه give everyone who has a right over you give them give them their right give everybody who has a right over you their right and that really just gives you that balance that's what I'm aiming for it's not about giving my wife 100% of her rights and neglecting my children neglecting Allah neglecting my parents neglecting my neighbours it's about balancing out the rights to give everyone their rights and that is possible لا يوكلف الله نفسا إلا وسعها الله doesn't burden a person with more than they can bear it is possible for you to give your parents their right and your spouse and it's possible for you to give your children their right and also to give the rights to their parents and the spouse and the neighbour it's possible because our Prophet صلى الله عليه وسلم did it صحابة ربي الله عنهم learned from him and they copied him and they did it their صالح صالح the righteous predecessors they took from them and they did it it's possible to give everyone their rights I'm not going to say you're never going to fall short because we're human beings and we're going to we are naturally we naturally make mistakes and frequently make mistakes but ultimately it is possible for you to set out a system and a way of life where you are giving everybody the right that is over you or the right that is your obligation to give to them when we talk about rights what is also really important and we have alluded to this previously but I just wanted to bring the آية it's the statement of الله إزا و جل و لا تتمنى ما فضل الله به بعضكم على بعض للرجال نصيب مماك تسبو والنساء نصيب مماك تسبن وسألوا الله من فضل إن الله كان بكل شيء عليمة صورة النساء number 32 do not seek what Allah has preferred some of you with over others men have an opportunity or a portion of the reward from the actions they have done and women they have a portion of the reward from the actions that they have done and ask Allah from His grace الله is knowing of every single thing so right here we have a beautiful آية that breaks down for us the fact that neither of us should be seeking rights that are for the other one neither of us should be trying to covet and be jealous and be sort of seeking out the rights that were given to somebody else and this آية specifically mentions the rights given to men and the rights given to women and this آية والله is so important in this age of where there is we were dealing with things like feminism and indeed other movements and other belief systems and other things like that where there is a desire to covet the rights that have been given to someone else by الله سبحانه وتعالى and ultimately again this is nothing more than an extension of atheism where we no longer care about the rights of Allah but we only care about حقوق العباد and one of the things that make when you care only about the حقوق of the عباد the rights of the servants and you don't care about the rights of Allah then no doubt this leads to selfishness and it leads to coveting what other people have because you no longer accept that it was Allah that gave each person their حق their right in anything in everything be it gender related or related to anything else Allah عز وجل gave every single person a حق a right we want to give everyone the right فعطي كل ذي حق إن حقا we want to give everyone the right that they have when we start to look at things and ignore the fact that it was Allah that gave out those rights what happens we start to crave what other people have why don't I have what that person has why am I not allowed equally the same right and the same authority that that person has and so on and it leads to a destructive cycle where each person is craving to have what the other person has it leads to jealousy it leads to hatred and it leads to ignoring the rights of Allah عز وجل as we said this is nothing more than an extension of atheism that neglects the fact that Allah is the one that gave rights to people and it's not about me being better than someone else how many women will be above their husbands يوم القيامة and I will give you one example and Subhan Allah the examples in this they would not stop أسيا رضي الله عنها أسيا عليه السلام أسيا the wife of فرعون her husband فرعون where is he and where is she when the prophets I said mentioned her to be from the women whose إيمان was كامل complete full Subhan Allah it's perfect so if you look at أسيا رضي الله عنها you look at the situation of her husband فرعون in the lowest part of the fire and leading his people into the fire يوم القيامة and all of the things that he did but that's just an extreme example in reality there are many women who are far above their husbands in the sight of Allah عز وجل but when you live only for this dunya and you only care about this dunya then you only care about what rights you have in this dunya I only care about am I in charge am I the one making the decisions am I the one that has the most power the most authority am I the one that has the most flexibility that's all you care about because it's only the dunya that's the only thing they say it's only this life of this world we live and we die and it's just the passage of time nothing kills us except time nothing causes us to die except time that's what these people believe and so they lose this concept of accepting what Allah gave you and realizing that what Allah has given to a wife doesn't stop her from being above her husband يوم القيامة درجات many levels and what Allah has given to the husband doesn't stop him from being above his wife درجات يوم القيامة many levels it doesn't stop either of them because they have the opportunity to gain the reward from their actions what you've been given in this dunya is a test and it is possible for a woman to pass her test and her husband to fail his test and it's possible for her husband to pass his test and for his wife to fail her test it's possible so ultimately it's not for us to fight over who was given what it's for us to look for the نصيب our نصيب of our good deeds our portion of good deeds and to try and get as many good deeds as possible out of what Allah has given us and when we want something we covet something, desire something instead of being jealous of other people and trying to undermine what Allah has given them what should we do? ask Allah from his grace if you want something ask Allah from his grace ask Allah, O Allah, give me this O Allah, grant me this O Allah, give me this instead of trying to take try to be like two spoiled children who are fighting over some candy or something they're both fighting each other they're both pulling against each other and arguing with each other instead of that ask Allah to give you candy that's it instead of fighting each other over one thing and pulling each other ask Allah to give you what it is that you want and ultimately we're just giving simple you know, sort of examples and light hearted examples but reality this issue is quite serious when it comes to marriage and it can lead to a lot of problems in marriage if we don't understand this so we talk about the husband's rights and the wife's rights it's not for the wife to crave and covet what the husband has nor is it for the husband to crave and covet what the wife has rather each one of them work to get your نصيب your share your portion of good deeds from what you have done and ask Allah for His grace and His bounty in order to get where you want to be which is جنة الفردوس العالة the highest part of Paradise it's not that you just you know it's not about this world and it's not about being in charge in this world and it's not about being in authority in this world and it's not about having one more right than the person next to you or one more obligation than the person next to you it's not about those things it's about working with what you have to get your نصيب your share of good deeds and asking Allah from His bounty and His virtue and I know I've really having this point at home and I've talked about it a lot but I just see it to be such an issue in this day in each where the non-Muslims are putting such immense pressure upon Muslims to stop fulfilling their rights to each other to start coveting what other people have and it's not just جنة it's not just men and women it's across the whole spectrum that to try and covet power covet authority to try and covet rights that you don't have to try and be in the place of someone else why should this person be over me even in knowledge refusing to accept the authority of the scholars refusing to listen to what the scholars have to say why should that person tell me why should I not be the scholar who gets to tell look at how everyone is just coveting what everybody else has everyone is just trying to get instead of asking Allah for grace and asking Allah for knowledge and asking Allah and striving for it perhaps Allah one day will put you in that position but ultimately we just live in a time where the pressure on the Muslims is to steal everyone else's rights and to try and seek it and to try and undermine them in it and that's why so many marriages are failing it's one of the major reasons why so many marriages are failing rather the woman who is intelligent and the man who is intelligent they say what has Allah given me that I can get جنة with they don't start looking for what Allah hasn't given me they ask Allah for his grace if it's from the things it's permissible to ask for they ask Allah give me wealth so I can spend it or Allah give me health so I can use it to worship you and so on but they are looking at what do I have today that can get me جنة that's the attitude that the Muslim should have when it comes to the حقوق the rights and when it comes to the obligations and when it comes to the قدر and the قضاء of Allah let me earn as much as I can from what Allah جلا في علا has given to me so that brings us to the end of this episode إن شاء الله تعالى سوف ننتقل by looking next time at the areas in which the husband and the wife are totally equal they have a one-for-one right so المماثلة التامة complete equivalence the rights in which there are complete equivalence we're going to look at those إن شاء الله تعالى in the next episode and until then السلام عليكم ورحمة الله وبركاته and Allah عز وجل knows best وصلاة والسلام عال نبينا محمد وعاله وصحبيه أجمعين السلام عليكم if you're enjoying these videos and you'd like to keep up to date with all of the courses we're going to be running make sure you head over to amauathome.com