 Hello everyone. Now the Narx Fiver live video. This one is live from my office. This is where I do a lot of my work. This is where I record my videos. And in this one we're going to be talking about when the narcissist knows you know. So what happens when they know that you know. When they know that you have figured them out. Well first let's talk about how they know. How do they know that you know. And the way that they know is by your behaviour. You're acting differently. You've become indifferent. You don't care about them anymore. Maybe they're doing things to irritate you to upset you. And you don't even react. Doesn't get to you. It doesn't even bother you anymore. And they sense it. They notice that. And when they see that they will try to test you. Because they know that your feelings have changed. So they will tone down their behaviour. Whatever they think is bothering you. They will stop doing that. They will pretend like they have changed. Like they can be how you want them to be. Because what you need to understand is that they know exactly how to behave. They know exactly how to act right. How to act normal. But usually they don't because they just want to do what they want to do. They want to act or they want to act. They want to behave or they want to behave. And they just expect you to put up with it. And that is why their manipulation is so important. Because the whole point of that is to make you put up with it. It's to confuse you. To make you uncertain. Because sometimes they do act right. They do act normal. And they do that to show you that they can if they want to. But then it makes you think. So why don't they act how you want them to act? The reason why is because they are grooming you. They are preparing you and training you for the abuse. That is why sometimes they act right. Sometimes they work with you. They cooperate. But then most of the time they don't. The whole point of that is to show you yes, I am capable. I can act right if I want to. Then it makes you hopeful. You have these expectations of them changing or being better. Because sometimes you have seen them behave properly. You just don't understand why it's not consistent. Why it's only some of the time. The reason for that is because they are a narcissist. That is the whole point of the disorder. Is that it doesn't adapt. It doesn't change. That's the whole point of what a narcissist is. They can't be what you want. They can't do what you want. They can't give you what you want. They are incapable of doing that and when you are on to them. When you finally realize this and you accept it, they will sense it. They will know and they will test you. And they will test you to see just how much it has affected you. To see if it's changed how you see them and to see if you're about to leave them. Because they always need to be two steps ahead of you. So they need to know when you are in the mind. Because that tells them what they need to do next. Because they need to make you feel better. They need to win you over. But that's not going to last for long. Remember in the beginning they showed you this false character. This magnificent wonderful person who could be who you wanted them to be. They could do what you wanted them to do. They listened. They cooperated. They were fine. But then gradually things started to change. And they did make excuses for why they changed. They told you that it was because of you. They tried to make you think that you were the problem. And that's when you ended up on this never-ending hamster wheel trying to fix everything. Trying to please them. But it's like no matter what you did you could never fix it. And the reason for that is because it wasn't even your problem to fix. It had nothing to do with you. And that is why no matter how much you did it was never enough. It never resolved anything. And they knew this the entire time. They knew that it wasn't you. They knew that you weren't the problem. Yet they were still arguing with you every day blaming you. Finding things to be wrong. But they already knew there was nothing wrong with you. You were fine. You were more than enough for them. You were doing everything they wanted you to do and more. But while you were doing that they were causing all of this chaos and drama that left you very confused because you just couldn't understand what is wrong with this person. And once you're first catching on to them they will change for a moment. They will try to behave properly. They will be polite and friendly. They'll give you compliments. They'll act like they're grateful for whatever you're doing for them. They will pretend like they finally understand. And they're trying to fix it. They're trying to correct it. But really they don't even care. They're just doing it to pull you back into the relationship. And while they're doing that they're already looking for someone else to take your place because they've been through this before with other people. So they already know what is about to happen. They know that you know that they ain't about shit. They know that. And that is why they will stop doing certain things for a moment. They will pretend to act right. They will pretend to act normal. But even while they're doing that they're chasing after someone else behind your back. And you may not even know about it. They're already trying to replace you. Because once they know that you are on to them your good is dead to them at that point. You're a last cause. Because you're not responding to them in the way that you used to. You don't care about anything anymore. So they already know this relationship has an expiration date. It's only a matter of time until you leave them. So they've got to beat you to it. They've got to leave you first. And that is when they will put all of their focus on the new person. And they will try to advance them to the primary position so that they can take your place. This is when they will start going out on dates with them. They'll start spending more time with them than they spend with you. And yeah. This is when they will just rip that mask all the way off. This is when you will see their true colours. You will see who they really are. And they will really try to hurt you at this point. Because now they know that they're no longer affecting you. You don't care anymore. You've caught on. You've figured them out. So they're looking at it like, at this point, I don't have anything to lose. So I will show you exactly who I am. I will show you that I never cared about you. And they may even say to you that the entire time that you were together, they were just using you. They were playing you the entire time. And they may also say that the only reason why they were with you in the first place, it's because they didn't have anything better to do. They will say these things because they want to break you down. They want to crush you. They will tell you that they were cheating on you the entire time. From day one, from that first day you met them, they were cheating on you and you didn't even know. They will tell you whatever they think will hurt you the most. They will tell you they were seeing other people the entire time that you were together because they want to crush your soul before they leave. So this is what narcissists do when they know that you've caught on to their game. When they know that you have figured them out, they will crush you. They will try to destroy you because in their minds you've got one over on them. You figured them out so it's game over. Because even if you did give them another chance, even if you did take them back, they know it's not going to be the same. It's not going to give them that same rush as someone who doesn't know them. Someone who doesn't know what they're about. Someone who sees them as perfect and innocent because that's what they really want. That's what they're really looking for in a target. The problem with you is that you've already experienced so many arguments with them and they know that you remember everything they said to you, everything they did. They know you remember all of that so you're never going to see them the same way and they want someone who's going to react to them without any pushbacks, without any limitations, without anything holding them back. They want someone who has never had any bad experiences with them because that type of person is going to be all in. They're not going to have anything holding them back. They're going to do whatever the narcissist wants because they don't suspect anything. They're not suspicious because they haven't seen the narcissist do anything wrong before but you have. So that is the type of person, the type of situation that they prefer. They don't really want to go back to you. Why would they want to go back to someone who knows exactly what they're about? Someone who remembers everything they said, everything they did to them. They already know you're going to be angry. They know you're going to be resentful and some of you may even want revenge and they know that. They're anticipating that. They're waiting for it but really you just need to let go of those emotions. Practice acceptance because as long as you're reacting to something they've said or done, whether it's something that happened recently or in the past, they have power over you. They're controlling you even while they're not there but when you are no longer emotionally affected by the narcissist, you have defeated them. You have won because that is the only position, the only advantage that they have when they can emotionally affect you. When you invest your emotions in them, when you're involved, when they can get you to do what they want you to do and when they can do whatever they want, they can go out and meet other people and they know you're always going to be waiting there ready to take them back, what ready to do, whatever they ask you to do and even if you don't, even if you refuse, even if you don't want to do what they want, then they're just going to do something to hurt you because that still gives them supply. As long as they can affect you, they still have power over you but when they can see that they can no longer affect you, they know it's game over after that and at that point they're not even going to pretend but they will test you to see if your mind is made up, if you're really done with them or if you're just mad and maybe you just need some time to calm down because they want to keep you at bay, they want to hold you off until they're ready to get this new person to take your place because once they know that you are on to them, it's all over after that, you're a lost cause, you have no use to them. If you don't care anymore, if they can't affect you then they know their time is up. In some situations they may still try to come back but even if they do they already know it's not going to last for long and even in that type of situation you're going to be with them while they're seeing someone else while they have someone else on the side and in that type of situation when they know that you've caught on, they know that you figured them out but for whatever reason you still choose to accept them back, they're not even going to try and hide it at that point, they're going to do things right in front of your face while they will still pretend as though they want to fix things, they want to work things out, they're going to be loyal to you and then they'll just put it right in front of you, they'll show you exactly who they are, what they're doing, they're just going to keep playing you even more if you take them back, it's not going to end, it's not going to get better which is why when you've seen it once that is when you need to make the choice to move on in a respectful and dignified way, don't keep letting them back in to do the same thing to you again and again because that's all they're going to do, they're just going to keep doing the same thing again and again for the rest of their lives and do you want to be a part of that, do you want to get caught up in that, I don't think so, so do not fall for the trap, they will say that they want to work things out like they've just had this magical epiphany, they'll say that they should have been there for you, they should have done more, don't fall for it, it's all lies, it's all bullshit, it's future faking, they're just playing a game while they're waiting for another opportunity to come their way because they're always looking for the bigger better deal, they're always looking for the next shiny new toy, so it's just never going to end well with them, being involved with them is just not going to serve you in any way, it's just going to set you up for failure, it's just going to cause more problems for you in the end, you think that letting them back in, getting back with them, you think that's going to help, you think that's going to fix things but it's just going to create more problems later down the line, whatever issues you think you have with them now, you want closure, if you take them back you're going to want a lot more closure in time, maybe you lost money with them, if you take them back you're going to lose even more money, things are not going to get better in any way, they're going to get worse, so we have to be wise, remember I put these videos out every day for a reason so that you remember, so that you are aware of this, because it is very important to be aware of it, to have this awareness, because that is what's going to protect you, so yeah use this information wisely, use it to protect yourself, things are not going to get better with them, things will never get better, they will only get worse, they can only give you an illusion of better things, like I said before the best you will ever get from a narcissist is an illusion, that's really it, 127 live viewers but only 52 thumbs up, so if you found this video helpful please do give it a thumbs up down below, helps to support the youtube algorithm helps our community, helps to get this message out there so it can help more people, so everyone please do your bit, if you want people to be more aware of this disorder and you want to help to protect people, you can start right now that's all you have to do is click that thumbs up button down below, just takes a second and please let me know your thoughts about this video down below in the comments, I read your comments every morning, share the video as well you can share it anywhere on youtube, facebook, instagram, twitter please share it and subscribe you will get notifications for my future videos and if you would like to book a one on one session with me you can book through my website it is narksurvivor.co.uk, I'd also check out my instagram as well it's narksurvivor youtube on instagram, I have new pictures and videos every day on there, all right thank you all for joining me in my office today where I do my work and you all have a good day, I look forward to talking with you in another video very soon