 Hello, hello, I'm super excited that you guys have joined me today. I am here today with Erica Weeder-Light and she is a specialist in burnout. I know what you're thinking. You're thinking, wait a second, there's a specialist in this? I know. Here we are today to uncover and unpack some of the simple solutions that we can try in our own businesses. Now, as a house cleaner, I have got a true confession. I reached burnout a multiplicity of times, and every time I did, I stopped and I said, do I belong in this business? Then I said, if I wasn't doing this business, what would I be doing? I kept coming back to house cleaning. Another true confession is I fired myself five times over the course of the last three decades. I got out of the house cleaning business for 24 to 48 hours. I tried to do something else, and then I hired myself again back in the house cleaning business because that's what I was good at. But I have to address the burnout issues because it's very, very real. And if you don't have solutions, it's going to be frustrating, and you're probably going to get out of the business and not come back. So that's what our conversation is today. We're here at the end of the year. The end of the year is kind of a tough time in the cleaning business because everything gets packed up really tight as customers need our help. They're having Christmas parties at the last minute. They're unpacking decorations. They've got family coming in. There's a whole bunch of extra work. And sometimes it's not really appreciated and that adds to our burnout. So I'm going to invite you guys to jump in to the comments, leave your questions. We're going to answer as many of them as we can and we're going to use Erica's expertise because like I said, she studies this. She coaches this. She teaches this. She's a world-renowned expert and she's going to share with us today some of those simple solutions. So please help me welcome Erica Widerlay. Hey, Erica. Hi, I'm so excited to be here. This is going to be a really special and needed conversation for everybody. So I'm very jazzed. Well, thank you so much. Tell us if you will just some of the symptoms of burnout. What can we start looking for if we think we might be on the edge of having burnout ourselves? Ooh, such a great question. For me, this is actually little post symptoms as I start to feel it in my body. So maybe things like, you know, exhaustion, headaches, crankiness is a big indicator. So emotions we could also tend to frazzled energy. We could really start to track it. It's pretty simple, but it takes time to kind of go inward and be like and see what's coming up for us. But the signs are usually there. And that's part of a big part of my practice is making space for folks to really have them check in with themselves and see how am I? Especially in an industry like this that's always moving quite literally, physically, mentally, a lot is going on. I teach folks, okay, in the midst of chaos, how can I find a little glimmer of peace? Which is a task? So for me, it depends. Everyone's markers are different, but it can be things physically, stomach aches, headaches. It could be emotionally. Why am I snapping at the silliest thing? Why am I angry? I know for me it comes up as agitation. So there's markers. And part of this work is learning, ooh, what's my marker where I know, okay, I'm starting to enter burnout territory. So is it something that you see coming or do you just wake up one day and you're in the middle of it and you're like, whoa, it already hit me and there's nothing I can do to prevent it? Yeah, there's always things we could do, which is great. So there's always ways we could reverse it. Hallelujah. And for everyone, it's different. For some people, they're more intuitive and it would be more bothersome to them, that they're like, ooh, I don't like that. I always use the word crunchy, but I'm feeling crunchy. I don't like this. And so right away, they could say, okay, time to flip it. And it depends situationally. Sometimes people are like, I got stuff to do. It's the holidays. I don't have time to look at my emotions where other people may wake up and be like, wow, I feel really sad today waking up. So it manifests differently within each person, with each situation, but there are tail signs. And again, no matter where you are, if you're starting to get into burnout or if you're in the burnout, the great news is we can start to get out of it, which is great. There's a lot of hope. In the house cleaning business, one of the first signs that I've seen and it seems to be true for the people that I've hired over the years. One of the first signs for us is when you wake up in the morning and you're like, I just don't want to go clean today. I just don't want to do it. It's not that you dislike the customers or that you dislike the cleaning, but you just don't want to go. There's really no valid reason for it. You don't feel sick. You don't, you know, it's not, there's no real good excuse. You just kind of wake up and you're just like, I just don't have it to give today. And that's one of the very first signs. And then you have to say, my customers are expecting me and I have to go and I got to go do it anyway. And then it kind of carries over. When you get to the customer's house, you're kind of like, I kind of still don't want to be here today. Totally. And it's just kind of this overarching cloud that's kind of like, here I am. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, I hear you. And I think that's so important that you, we could track that. Like, oh my gosh, like you said, it starts with, I don't want to be, I don't want to do this today. That feels overwhelming. And that's a big part of us undoing the overwhelm. You know, I feel like that's a big part of what I teach is how can we take, again, what's appropriate, how can we take a little bit off of our plate? How can we get to that place of, if you've ever heard of this before, resourcing, right? Getting back to taking care of ourselves and our needs and all of that. Yeah. What role does diet have in burnout? This is a loaded one. This is a good one. This is a good one. A lot. A lot. And yeah, this is great. This is a great, great one. Let's just, I was like, Say the words. Here we go. No, there's a lot. There's a lot loaded. And this is a big conversation. There's a lot of nuance in this conversation. As you know, what food is accessible to folks. You know, there's a lot of, a lot to pull apart in this conversation. And I think it is important for us to, know what fuels us, you know? And sometimes fuel. I'm also a teacher of pleasure. I teach folks pleasure that helps with the burnout. So sometimes pleasure is really enjoying that apple, right? And you're like, ooh, I feel a back. And sometimes that pleasure or that nourishment is the chocolate cake. But, more often than not, I really do have clients look at what makes you feel good to the best of our ability can we take because there's so much stigma around food and body. Like that's, there's a whole lot there that all of us have conditioning around. So I try to work through that with our clients. And then from there, it's like, okay, let's just go to the base level. How do you feel nourished? You know, let's take like diet culture out of it. Let's take, I should look like this out of it. How do you feel when you move your body? What type of movement feels great to you? Is it like slow yoga or is it just, you know, dancing? Or what food makes you feel alive? And each person has different, you know, needs and wants. But for me, the diet conversation, it's a loaded one as we know because we all have stuff attached to it. But that is a big part of the burnout. And I know for me, that's a quick trick when I'm like, oh my God, I'm burning out. I'm burning out. Currently I have a lot, real time. I have a lot of my plate. And I'm like, where can I start? I'm like, Erica, you can start with how you're moving your body, what you're putting in your body. So today I've been mindful of what foods I'm eating, making sure I'm having my tea. It's a nice in, get us right in there. So I think it is, I know it's a loaded one, but I do think it is a piece to the puzzle. I know in burnout, and during the times that I've been burned out, that's one of the first places I go. Because if I'm eating like pizza late at night or something, I don't sleep well. And when I wake up the next morning, I feel kind of lethargic or kind of like my body is still trying to digest or whatever. And in the cleaning industry, we have a lot of movement. And so it's not necessarily working out, but it's a lot of movement. There's a lot of repetition and a lot of movement physically. And if your body is still digesting and you just feel kind of bloated or blah, I know that that kind of contributes to the mindset. And you talked about being mindful and being present in the moment. And so one of the first places that I go is stop eating everything and let's reintroduce what like what you said, it makes you feel alive. Reintroducing those foods that make me feel alive. And now do I feel alive? Am I now able to cope better in this like not so fun moment of like I still have to clean and I still have to work even though I don't want to be here. Because if I'm eating stuff that then makes me feel even worse, it just contributes and it seems like it escalates or it speeds up the process of burnout. It does. And nothing is worse. And I talk about this a lot like nothing is worse and feeling worse on top of worse. You know what I mean? So if like I'm already overwhelmed I'm emotionally processing a lot. And then I eat stuff and I'm like I have acid reflux. I'm like, no, you don't know. Like, no, not that, you know like no one wants to feel physically ill on top of emotionally going through a lot. So like I said, especially when I'm going through a lot I really try even though it's not the impulse personally my impulse is like grab the fries and I'm like, it sounds great right away. It sounds fun. And there's a place for it. Sometimes it's appropriate. But I know I will be ill and I know it won't help me move through my burnout quicker. It will only slow down my process. So I think there really is a big element of truth there. That's important to lovingly look at. And what role do you think hydration plays in that? Oh my gosh, the same. That's a big one as well. I think food, hydration, rest, movement you all are moving so beautifully throughout the day anyway but you know, those are really big components that we can start to incorporate ASAP that really does there's a mind-body connection. We all know it, you know so that's a great way for us to plug right in to help some of the mental and physical burnout. It's like a support system. I always think of these things that I do these like self-care tasks, right? Maybe making, you know, drinking more water or resting it's just adding a cushion to make us feel more supported. And when we're in burnout, it's like I always think of it like a bank account. It's like we're in the red, you know what I mean? Like we are in the red. So it's like wave the white flag, you know wave the flag and like whatever we can do. So maybe it's, I'm gonna be more mindful of my water intake. I'm gonna pack a really nourishing lunch today. I know it's hard but I'm gonna try to go to bed a half hour before, you know so when I think of that like negative in the red when we're in burnout it's like what are those tools? What are those supports that we can do to slowly start to get back to neutral? That would be fantastic. And then eventually build to being back in the green. Well, and you talk about support and you've brought up rest a couple of times. Tell us about rest because quite frankly most house cleaners at this time of year are on overload anyway. They've got their own families and their own responsibilities. And of course they've got Christmas shopping and everything that everyone else has and then they're doing that for other people. And so they're getting ready for the parties and they're helping people with the decorations and it's kind of like triple the work and triple the energy. And a lot of times it is not available to go to bed a half hour earlier or what have you? Yeah, exact. And that's why I always like to I'm a big proponent of talking about seasons of our lives. Sometimes that's not the season. Like I talked to a client this morning and he's like, Erica, the work that we did six months ago, I'm not in that season right now. I'm in pure chaos. So like I don't have the privilege to go to bed a half hour early. I don't have the privilege to do A, B, and C. He's like, my life is just different now. And it's like, great. So first and foremost, I want to make that I want to normalize that because I never want to use this work to shame ourselves. Like, oh, I should go to bed a half hour before. I never like to weaponize the tools against us. Here is what I would suggest. If you're like, Erica, I can't go to bed a half hour early. Like that's what are you talking about? Like that is so not accessible. What I would suggest, if possible, if possible, sometimes it's not, is how can we slow down a little bit more throughout our day? So we still have the madness, right? Like the chaos, everything's still there. We're going here, we're going there. We're picking up the toys, stuff like that. It's all there. But is there a way that we can find a little bit more slowness in what's already going on? So a silly example is pretend you're driving from work to kid pick up, to presents, to the Christmas dinner, to the this. Okay, great. We don't have to change the circumstances, but how are you showing up in that space? And again, this is not from a place of shame. We're all doing beautifully. But how do you want to show up? So maybe it's instead of like, I'm going to call 500 people or do this and do that. And it's like, okay, can I just be present? Maybe I'm not even going to put on a song. Like, can I just take a deep breath? Ooh, take a nice deep breath. Maybe just put on a nice gentle song. Maybe do you get what I'm saying? Or in the morning when we have breakfast, I have five minutes to eat breakfast. Okay, cool. We can't change that. But when you eat the egg, can you actually really eat the egg and really taste it? You know what I mean? So again, sometimes it's not accessible to be like, ah, just rest. You know, like sometimes that advice does not hit for everyone. No, but I'll tell you what I did. And along the same lines, because I'm one of those people where I was getting less and less and less amount of sleep. And I went ahead and I bought the Fitbit. And I did it not to track my steps. I am tracking steps, but not to track my steps, but to track my sleep. And I didn't realize how little sleep I was actually getting. So then I said, okay, if I'm getting this much sleep and I shouldn't confess, it was like three to three and a half hours of sleep at night, like little sleep. And I realized that half my brain works when I'm awake and the other half works when I'm asleep. And if I'm only relying on the half of my brain that works when I'm awake, I'm losing a whole bunch of the repair side of my brain that repairs those moments during the day and my memory and my cognitive function and all of those things. Which are really important if you're a business owner and you're expected to go out and perform, you know, either, you know, being in someone's home and remembering a series of tasks that you're supposed to do or whatever. And so for me, what I did was I started saying, what can I trade for sleep? Can I take a nap during the day? Is there a possibility that if I get to a customer's house a few minutes early, I could even take a five minute cat nap in my car with the alarm. Is it possible that I could cut back on my evening tasks at night, maybe not watch TV, but then go to bed earlier? Is it possible I could wrap up my business earlier? And I started streamlining tasks where instead of writing paychecks throughout the week as people would end their work week, streamlining all of that to one day a week where we did payroll one day a week. So consolidating some tasks so that I wasn't go, go, go so much. And then when I was on the go, like you talked about driving in your car, what I realized was my whole body is resting right now except for my brain and my mind because I got to like watch where I'm driving but the rest of my body is on vacation right now. It's asleep. And so giving my body permission to like all the rest of my body can recoup and relax and chill out while my eyes and my brain and my hands are like driving the car, right? Yes. So that when I would get there, I was like, hey, wait a second, I just got like a little mini awake nap. Like, you know, my body rested, how refreshed I feel now, but then calling attention to the refreshness of that moment. Yeah. Because a lot of times if we're not aware of those, like my body was resting for the last 10 minutes on this drive, if we're not aware of that, we lose it. Like it's just gone, I just think I didn't get that rest. Yeah, that's so good. And I think you nailed something really important is us, I always call, it's called digesting or how I teach my clients is digesting. And it's like, you did, you digested, oh, okay, I did rest, you know, it helps us process that you did the thing. And I love what you said, because again, I teach this with my clients as well, is we don't need a whole lifestyle change tomorrow. But is it like, is there a way we can incorporate 1% more? So maybe 1% more and 1% might just be like how you did so beautifully, the awareness of, I have a little 10 minute vacation. My body has, you know, my brain is on board, we're here, we're ready to go, but my body has a 10 minute vacation, how beautiful. So I always suggest to everyone when they're like, where do I start? How do I undo burnout? And how do I start this work? It's like, can we start with 1% like that little inch, that half inch of the awareness of getting out of the burnout. Oh, then we could climb mountains, but it's that like little step forward. What are some everyday tasks or everyday behaviors that we could do that would keep us from reaching burnout? Yes, okay. I have to go in this direction quickly, because it's a big part of my work. And I do this, so I have to do it. And I think it's important. And I teach it with my one-on-one clients. I was telling you earlier before we recorded, I work at this amazing company, we'll talk about that later, Zant, their mental health app, they're fabulous. And I work with their team as well, because to move through burnout, you know, and what we do in those spaces is pleasure. And you're gonna be like, Erica, what are you talking about? Like pleasure, I don't have time for pleasure, I'm in burnout. And why pleasure is so, and pleasure, by the way, is things like really enjoying your water, really being present to, it's the five senses, really being present to that camboot to that you're drinking, or as you're driving, you know, to your next location, can you really hear the violin in that song? And you might be like, Erica, that's so silly, I don't have time. If you think I don't have time for burnout, I don't have time for pleasure. Why it's so important is it teaches the body and the brain that we're safe to slow down. Sometimes when we're in burnout, we don't feel safe to slow down, you know, because we're so used to keep going, keep going, keep going. So the pleasure teaches, like I said, the brain, the body, okay, it's safe to slow down. I could, and not only can I slow down, I can enjoy this. We can jump right back in to chaos, you know, we can jump right back in. But what would it be like? I know before we came on today, I always try to be, you know, cognizant of pleasure. So I did something so silly. I lighted a candle, you know, if I could share my little screen, something silly doesn't have to be anything wild, but that's also 1% more. Or maybe as you're, we're using the driving example, but it's what's here, so for driving, or if we're working, let's tap into our senses. So what do I see? Oh wow, I really love that tree. Oh my gosh, it's gorgeous as it changes color through the fall, beautiful. Or I'm working and in the background, I hear such a beautiful song, or that was such a sweet thing that that person said to someone, or, oh, I actually don't like my shirt, the texture of my shirt on my body. You know, it sounds so silly, it sounds so trivial, but it's so important within the burnout. It is a crucial piece of working through burnout. And again, for me, it also made me feel worthy. It made me feel safe because I was like, okay, if I could have pleasure, I'm worthy enough, I'm safe enough to get out of burnout. And really quickly, I do wanna speak to that. I know for me a lot of times when I got into burnout spells, it was situational, right? Just like a lot going on and underneath a lot, for me, just for me, there was a worthiness component. So I didn't feel worthy, I had a scarcity thing going on and that was real, but I didn't feel worthy. I felt like I have to keep, you know, blood, sweat, and tears, I have to, that's the way that I'm worthy is, if I'm productive, if I had these achievements, equals worth. And what pleasure did from a body brain perspective, is it undid all that? It was like, you're worthy because you're here. Like you don't need to do A, B, and C to be worthy. And it taught me, I am worthy to slow down. I am worthy when I drive that 10 minutes at like, I don't need to write 65 lists or do 105 things at once. Like I'm worthy right now and it helped teach me that. So I know that's a little bit of the sidebar, but I think that's really important to note because that's a really big way that I help folks. Like I said, I do it with the Zant team. We work through pleasure to help heal some of the burnout. And I can talk more about that if you have more specific questions, but I was like, I have to bring this up. I have to bring this part up. I'm glad you did because there's an overarching situation with house cleaners. And I don't know where it came from. I found myself guilty of it, as well as about 90% of the house cleaners that I've worked with over the years, and it has been a lot. We're people pleasers. And so as a result of being a people pleaser, instead of us seeking pleasure, we want pleasure for everyone else. We go into people's homes, we wanna make their home better. We see something and we're like, hey, I can do this and I can contribute. And so we give, give, give, give, give until we are burned out. And sometimes there's even a regret that comes with that. And there is an I'm not worthy as much as there is. I want this for someone else and they are worthy and I want to be able to give that to them. So we just give, give, give. And I think it's really important what you just said about I am worthy and I deserve that. And I think along with that comes boundaries. And so can you share with us a little bit about how creating boundaries can help us not only recover from burnout, but also reach, reach burnout in the first place. Yeah, I'm so glad you brought that up. And especially in this profession, right? It's from a giving place. And you have the magic where you're like, I can create safety in someone's home. I can create beauty. I can create healing. Like it comes from such a giving, loving perspective. And that's what everyone's magic that's here today. That's one of your gifts is that you create safety. You create safe spaces. Like you have that magic. And the great news is we're just gonna learn how we can also give that back to ourselves. So boundaries is huge. Before we jump into that, I do want to note you nailed something so beautifully with the giving. Expert givers. So we need to learn how to receive. And it's like, oh, gosh, you know, like so much comes up about that. And we pride ourselves on being givers. I don't know about you, but a lot of folks pride themselves on, I'm a really good giver. Like, so we're not gonna take that away. We're gonna keep that. That's a great muscle. We love it. We're gonna keep it strong. I just want us to like add receiving. Here's a simple tool that I teach my clients is when someone gives you a compliment, right? I notice when people say, oh, I love your outfit. The impulse is to deflect and be like, no, no, no, I got it on sale and TJ Maxx it's nothing. It's like, what, like what? Like hold on, like wait. So my suggestion is when you get the compliment, even though it's very uncomfortable because sometimes we want to push it right back, but you look amazing too. Like they may look amazing too. We could tell them in a moment, but like, can we beat beat? Like literally just wait a moment and say, thank you. And we can eventually say, and I love, you know, if that's truthful to you, I love this. Or, you know, we could get back. But often I see people that are excellent givers push right back on a compliment or push right back on a gift. So I want us just to be mindful of compliments, especially that we're in the holiday season. How do we feel we'll receive a gift? Sometimes it's like, ooh, did I not get enough? Was I worthy of this? I just want us to start to track our thoughts when we receive, whether it be a gift, a compliment, a tip, you know, you go to a restaurant and someone throws in a chocolate, you know, chocolate cake and be like, no, no, no, no, no, I feel bad. I just want us to start to track. So before we go to boundaries, I was like, I have to mention this, the tracking how we receive. Because that's a great idea. I'm glad you brought that up because while I was cleaning houses, I was also at a place of scarcity as I got my business off the ground. And I was trying to understand and appreciate abundance. And I was not in a place where I could receive. And so every time abundance would come into my life, I would push it away, not realize I was sabotaging my own success, but I would say, no, no, no, you know, like I don't deserve it. I want someone else to have the goodness. And one of the mentors that I had said, I want for the next 30 days, I want you to say yes and accept everything that is offered you, whether you want it or not is completely irrelevant, whether you need it or not is completely irrelevant. I just want you to learn how to accept. And I said, I can do that. And I could not. It was the weirdest thing I'd ever been through. So like at a customer's house, and they're like, hey, I'm making a tomato sandwich. Do you want one? And I'm like, no, I'm just working straight. I'm like, yes, I would. Thank you. And I didn't really want a tomato sandwich, but I was going to accept for 30 days. So she's like, awesome. And she felt special because then she could make me a sandwich as well. And then she's like, stop working for a second. We'll have a sandwich. And that is not what I teach. You do not stop and chitty chat with the customers. You keep working and do your job. But for these 30 days, I sat down and I had a sandwich with her. Then there was another customer that's like, hey, I'm cleaning out my closet. Do you want all of these men's t-shirts? No. And then I was like, yes, I do. And I'm like, what am I gonna do with them? I don't know. I gave them to the Goodwill on my way home. But I'm like, yes, I will take them. And then it was so weird because it was like it opened the floodgates. All of a sudden a whole bunch of stuff started coming to me and I found myself saying yes over all the things. And I would then get strategic about like, well, drop these off at the Goodwill on my way home. Or wait a second. I just met somebody that just gave me something and I don't need it, but you do. Let me give it to you. And I was re-gifting stuff as quickly as it came in my life. But what I discovered was this, in the process of stuff coming to me and me accepting it, what I did is I opened that flow and it started flowing through me. And then I said, well, wait a second, there's an abundance all around me. And if I'm just the conduit, I don't have to be the recipient. It can come through me and now I have more to give. And so then I started just saying, share, bring it on. And then if you have anything else you wanna give me, I'll take that too. And then I started learning to ask and receive. And I'm glad you brought that up because that is so huge. Where oftentimes we're like, no, no, no. Like you said, I don't need it or I don't want it or someone else can use it more than I can. And then we end up blocking that flow that comes through us that then we can pass on to someone else. Yeah, I have to say this. I know you brought the boundaries, which is so good. But this is big too, is I teach my clients, like I've talked about clients, workshops, all the things is holding good things. It sounds crazy, right? Cause we all want, we all have the vision, especially this time of year. It's like next year I wanna make this much money. I want to travel that like we all, which is so beautiful. Like that shows our desires. And sometimes it's really overwhelming. Like you said, when you get those things. And so what's crazy is I know I'm bringing it back up, but what's so important about the pleasure work is it teaches us it's safe to hold good things. So for me, if someone gave me the grilled cheese sandwich, I'd be like, get it away. You know, like, no, no, no, I can't, I can't, I can't. And for pleasure, it taught me, like I said, I'm worthy, I'm allowed to have those good things. And so I wanted to just highlight that, that this work is so important because we're rewiring our brain and our body that I'm worthy to have a goodness. I can hold goodness. Cause sometimes like you said, it's overwhelmed. We could have all the dreams and someone gives it to us. It's like, I'm overwhelmed. What do I do with this? How do I hold this? And so that's why that way, even if you just enjoy that kombucha, even that way, if you just enjoy that sound, it teaches us, oh, I could hold good things. And it's not a catastrophe, right? Like, and then we start to stack, like, okay, I can hold that raise. I can hold that tip. I can hold that compliment, you know? So I just wanted to bridge, if it was like, Erica, what is this pleasure stuff? I wanted to bridge the pleasure is so important in the holding goodness. And I think that's important in the abundance conversation that you were saying. I know that in burnout, it's easy to keep repeating the same things we've been doing every day because we get in a routine and a habit. But I find if we're doing the same things over and over again, oftentimes we get the same results over and over again. So how important is it to change up our routines if we're looking for radically different results? Do we have to do radically different things? Yes, yes. And yeah, I think there's a place for it. Again, that feels doable. I know we were talking before, and excuse me for bringing this back, but I think this is important before the call for anyone. We were talking about my private, so I have a private practice and then I work for Zant. This company Zant Mental Health App, and I was telling you my private practice, I work with folks, but with Zant, I have more accessible rates for folks. And for me, why that's so important is I think this work is needed for everyone. Thank you for throwing that out. I think that work is needed for everyone. So we the light, I have my private clients and Zant, and I could tell you a little bit about that later. It's the Zant app and you just search Erica Widerlite. If you need me, I'll help you find it, but it's affordable, accessible sessions for all. So I have sliding scale. If you're like, Erica, I can only pay this, great. I want this work to be accessible for all. So I say that with the disclaimer that, yes, it's great to do radical things. And like we talked about before, sometimes that's not accessible, right? Like sometimes, hey, E, like that client that I talked to this morning, he was like, Erica, this is what I got. What can we do? And I said, great, let's figure that out. What I do think is important is creating some type of practice every day. It could be two minutes. It could be, I got two minutes this morning when I wake up or it could be, I got two minutes on my drive, but I do think something to interrupt the pattern is needed. And let me tell you, it's annoying. It's work. I always got like, it's the work. I always say it's the work, it's the work. It is work, but let me say this really briefly. When I started this work, I was, as a child, I was like this, happy and bubbly. And then as I aged, I went through some trying times and I became very cynical. And so if you told me I was doing this, I'd be like, what? Because I was very resistant. I was very cynical to this work. But I did put in the time and effort in appropriate seasons when I had the capacity and it was worth it. So I know it might be like, oh gosh, and we could talk about tools and things to do, but I do think it takes a little something. It doesn't have to be, I always say to people, you don't have to meditate for five hours on the top of the mountain top. Who has that time? But it is that consistent little dot, that little sprinkle every day is important in my beliefs. I've seen it literally change my life. I am no stranger to burnout. I'm a go, go, go person and I cram as much as I can in my life. And if there's like one little sliver of free time, I'm like, what can I cram in that space? I'm one of those people. And I found myself, and this is a true confession, but in September of this year, I went on a vacation to England. And when I got back, I was still in burnout mode. And I turned around two weeks later and I went back to England for another week. I was like, my vacation didn't do anything for me. Like it didn't stick. It didn't like reboot my system and enlighten my spirits. And I got back and I was like, okay, so I've got to do something really different. I need a whole new outlook. And I go back to three things, the money cannot buy. And the first one is sleep because no one is gonna benefit from the sleep you don't get, no one. Everyone is affected by the sleep you don't get, but no one's gonna benefit from the sleep you don't get. You gotta do it. The next thing is the nutrition that you eat. Nobody's gonna benefit from your own nutrition, nobody but you. Everyone will be affected by it, but no one will benefit except you. You gotta actually eat the nutritious things. And then the third thing is the exercise. And all of those were kind of skinny in my life. When I hit menopause, I was like, ah, I'm gonna eat whatever I want because I wasn't losing anything anyway. I'd eat one avocado when I'd gain three pounds. I'm like, ah, I'll just eat whatever I want then, right? And I packed on like 30 pounds. I'm like, this is not healthy. So I decided to do radically different because whatever I was doing was not working. I took some vacations, did not work. And I'm like, I'm not accepting, no, I gotta figure this out. So what I did was I went to a gym, I went to all the gyms in town, I checked them all out. And I said, I need, as I head into the winter time, I need a fail proof way for me to get out of the house every day and exercise. And so for me, it was finding a swimming pool where I could go swim laps every day and go through my thoughts in my head. And my thoughts in my head are this, I can't be connected to the internet while I'm in the middle of a swimming pool. Can't have my phone with me, can't be listening to podcasts. It's gonna be me and my thoughts. Okay, I'm not one to like sit here and like, and just meditate with my eyes closed. Not gonna do it, but I could do it while I'm swimming laps in the pool. So check this out. I'm meditating and I'm working out at the same time. So I'm killing two birds with one stone. Yes. Then I get out of the pool. I have no time for social life, but I gotta put my makeup on in the morning and I gotta get dressed. So while I'm in the locker room, I'll meet all the other people in the locker room and that will be my social life while I'm getting dressed in the morning at the gym. So I started like teaming up and streamlining things and switching stuff around so that I still have my social life and I still have my meditation. I still have my exercise and all these things in the same space. And so one of the things that I noticed was a radical change because I was starting to do things radically differently. Then my body started to click around and go, wait a second, you're getting up at 4.30 in the morning. That means that you have to go to sleep at, and I started falling asleep at like 9.30, 10 o'clock at night. And I was like, whoa, look at me getting all the sleep. Check it out, I'm getting like five hours of sleep at night. And then I got six hours of sleep at night. I'm like, whoa, my attitude is coming back. Look at me now. And it was literally making a commitment because you talk about the pleasure. It was making a commitment that I am worth it. Totally. I am worth it. And the customers and the clients that I deal with on a day-to-day basis, they are worth the best version of me. Yes. And if I'm not willing to be the best version of me, how can I command the price that I'm charging if I'm not gonna be able to deliver? Yeah, so true. That's so, and it's the example, put the oxygen mask on, you know what I mean? I know in our society that we're a little, and sometimes I wanna buy into it because it's a little glamorous to be like, keep working. There's like something in that story to be like, keep going, keep going. But we do need to put the oxygen mask on. And sometimes when I work with people and I start to directly work with them and they feel shame of who am I to do this work? Who am I to take out time to do a session? Who am I to go to the pool and do all this? Who am I? I say, if you can't do it for yourself right here, right now, that's okay. Do it for your family. Do it for your loved ones. Do it for people you work with. And then of course we will work on doing it for you. But us doing this work, like you said, us taking that time, us making those radical or small changes is so, we need it. Especially, and we won't get into it, especially all that's happening in the world over the last few years, there's so much going on. We need to show up, Corny, but we need to show up as our best selves. You know, like we're needed to be in full capacity. So thank you, I really appreciate you saying that because it's for us and that's enough. That's enough, like us doing this work, for us is enough, boom, worth it. But I'm sure you've seen, like how it ripples out to friends, family, people you work with it, it ripples out and that's what we need right now on a planetary level. Well, you mentioned that when many people are hitting burnout mode, they get grumpy. And I found not grumpy so much externally because since menopause I've been really careful and like I'm so grumpy in my head, but don't let it come out because then you'll have like no friends, right? So I've been trying to like really monitor that but grumpy in my head. I was like in my head cussing in my head and throwing things in my head and just like, ah, and one of the things that I stopped and realized because I didn't have time. I don't have time to go to the gym. I don't have time to make friends. I don't have time for a social life. I just don't have time for any of this stuff. But I started realizing I've got 168 hours in a week and what am I willing to spend on myself? And I said, okay, if I do all the radical things that I'm gonna do, it's gonna take me 14 hours a week. 14 hours a week from getting up in the morning to going to the gym and getting dressed at the gym and coming back and doing all the extra things that I'm doing. 14 hours a week. And that includes my morning journaling and my prayer time and all this stuff. Okay, so 14 hours a week. Am I worth 14 hours a week? And if I don't spend that 14 hours a week on myself, am I willing to spend the 14 hours like what and wasted further to wait time doing stupid things and being grumpy in my head? Am I worth the 14 hours? And I was like, I'm gonna give it a try. Yeah, I'm gonna do that. So without making this lifelong commitment, I said, I'll do it for 30 days. And I will check in with myself every day and see how I'm doing. And every day I checked in and part of my 14 hours was 15 minutes a day. I tracked everything, everything. I tracked my steps and my calorie intake and my calorie outtake and how much I burned in my sleep and I tracked everything. And then I tracked, how do I feel on a scale of one to 10? And I tracked myself five times throughout the day. Like, do I feel fantastic? Am I kind of like struggling right now? Am I ornery in my head? And every time I come back to men, I feel fantastic. Is it worth it? Yes it is. Would I do it again? Yes I would. So at the end of the 30 days, I'm like, man, I'm on a roll, I'm doing this, I'm going for it. And then it was probably about day six or seven when I was like, I think I'm completely out of burnout mode. I feel really good. Oh wow. I'm feeling really good right now. Yeah. I feel like I reached out myself. Yes. Is that cool too that you, oh, that's so good. That for you, you were like, okay, for me, I knew it was the three things, the rest, the movement, the food. Like that is so powerful that you leaned on that and you doubled down and you were like, okay, I know this is my particular medicine, elixir, that gets me out of the burnout and you can stay committed to that. That's amazing. So good. Well, it's a long time in the works. I mean, I wish I could say that, but like, hey, I just stumbled upon the solutions. I didn't. I mean, I've been rotating burnout for 30 years. I've been trying to find the solutions for 30 years. And my hope in this conversation is that we don't have to have people wait 30 years to find some simple solutions because right now is a frustrating time of the year. And the house cleaning industry is, it's tough. It's a lot of physical energy and it's an ungrateful profession in many instances. You go to a customer's house, you clean their house and it looks amazing. And there's nobody to tell you that it looks amazing. They're gone. They're not at home. And then you did your best to work and then like you never hear back from them and you're like, did I do a good job? Like there's no feedback. There's no feedback. And so like you just are like, well, I hope they liked what I did. And then you kind of start to self doubt yourself. Like I'm not sure if what I'm doing is good enough or if it works and you know, that's the reward at the end is kind of like you're left wondering like, hey, are you happy? Right, right. And that's what's so powerful that you created those things that it's, I think that's a big part of this conversation too is like, it's the best when someone's like, I see you, like I see you. I'm validating you. Thank you. And like you said, in this profession sometimes you don't get it. And it's like this dangly energy. Like we like, we didn't complete the cycle. Like how'd I do? How was it? And what's so powerful about what you're talking about with your practice? And I encourage all of us to start to think about that. Right? Like that's your formula. Maybe we could start to take that on. Maybe for someone else it's making something up. Journaling or prayer or like I said, we'll talk about this later. Booking a free session, whatever, whatever, whatever. But I love that because you resource yourself. So who wouldn't want the compliment? Who would like, we still want that. That still feels great to be seen and to be validated. But you doing the work, not only is it combating the burnout, but it's also being like, I'm good. Like I still want it, but like I'm good. Like I'm proud of myself. You know, like you still feel internally taking care of, which is incredible. Speaking of taking care of, we've got so many folks that have jumped in. I want to say hi to you guys today. We have Kelly, Kelly says good point. You've got Rachel Rose, Rachel is from England. Hello, Rachel, good to see you again. Toni says you don't have time to be grumpy and that is so true. There is no time ever to be grumpy. G.A. Peach says, love this discussion ladies, thank you. We've just got so many friends here. Prudence says, how to set shorter term goals for a limited time like three days. My brain misfires even without the mistletoe season. What suggestion would you give to Prudence? Oh Prudence, I love this. I resonate, I'm severely ADHD. So I can't, like it sounds great to me to do a monthly goal and I can't. Like I'm just like my brain doesn't operate in that way. So I hear you in this and I think let's just start with three days. Or let's just start with a day. But I always like to micro step everything. I know for me if I'm like this next year or this next month I'm gonna do this. It's like, oh no, like I just know it doesn't work for me, for some people it does. I know for me it doesn't work. So I kid you not, sometimes I do weekly, like okay Erica, we're gonna do this meditation for just this week. And Prudence if you feel like, you know, I think I can get behind three days or I can get behind two days, fantastic. Let's try it for three days. Maybe it's guys, I'm gonna try a meditation for three days or I'm gonna do a 15 minute workout for three days. Great, let's try it. And then on the fourth day, let's evaluate and see, okay, should I keep going? Should I try something different? So there's no shame in that game, that's fabulous. That's how you operate in the world. Great, let's use it to our advantage. I'm the same way. So it's a superpower. Let's use it as a superpower and we'll fit how it works best for you. I love that question. I think having a time limit sometimes is freeing. Yes. Where you say I'm gonna do something for three days or I'm gonna do something for five days. It's not overwhelming like I gotta change my whole life I'm gonna give this a try for a couple of days or for a week or for 14 hours per week or whatever so that you have something to shoot for number one and you don't let yourself off the hook so easy. I think oftentimes burnout does not happen overnight and I think it does not recover overnight. I think it's something that you have to stick with long enough that some change can happen. And I like to look at the alternatives. I know one time I was in burnout mode and I fired myself from the cleaning business and I went and I worked at labor ready. And it was the hardest work I've ever done and it was physical labor at a thrift store and at the end of the day they took taxes out and they paid me minimum wage and I made $14 at the end of the day and I had never worked so hard in my whole life and I was like, wow. And they gave me the check and I started laughing hysterically. I'm like, this is the hardest I've ever worked for the least amount of money and I framed the check. I didn't even cash it, I framed it because it was such an interesting lesson for me that on my worst day, I was better off working for myself in the cleaning business that I was giving up and working for someone else. Ooh, wow. And so I think sometimes to put a time limit on something and then to give yourself permission like I need a change of pace. And as a marathon runner, I know that there are times when I would get burned out from running. It's a lot of monotonous running. You're doing the same thing over and over and over and over and over and you run the same routes. And then I would stop and I would cross train. Like I got to get away from running for just a little bit and then I would do something totally different and I would go swim for a while. I'd lift weights, I'd do something completely different and I would like, whoa. All right, I used some different muscles. Now I can come back to running again. And when I came back then I had a new outlook doing an old thing. That's so good. I love the story with how you took the check. That's so profound. There's so many lessons in that. That's so profound. And I think you hit it on the head too that sometimes it feels good. I know for me, I like to feel like I did it. I did it. So the three day thing actually could be superb. Or I'm gonna take it just a week. I'm gonna take it three days. Cause not only is it like, okay, great. I can feel into it. We also are proud of ourselves and we could celebrate like, I didn't think I could do it and I did it. And that also, you know the deal, that boosts the confidence that gets us back into our, that for me, the confidence piece also is a big link. Pleasure and the confidence piece is a huge link to the burnout conversation. So if we could do that, again, making something up, that meditation for three days, we could turn to ourself and say, I'm so proud of myself. I don't think I had capacity for this, you know? So it's not only, I always say to my clients, like not only are we doing the thing that makes us feel good, but in addition, we have the additional layer of like, and I'm proud of myself that I committed to myself. So I love the three. I love the three day thing, week thing, whatever works for you. That's part of this conversation is feeling into what's most supportive to me. And I always have my clients. I want to say this briefly. I always have them ask themselves, what do I need right now? Almost like a really loving parent. What would be most supportive? That's a big part of the burnout conversation too, because sometimes we're like flailing, or like, I don't know, I'm kind of on autopilot. So I always have my clients talk to themselves, like they're the most loving caretaker, loving parent, like, hey babe, what do you need? What do you need, my darling? And it might be like, I need to sleep. You know, I don't have that accessible, but like, I need to, you know, I need to have, make that cup of tea, or I need this. And so the needs conversation, again, is big into the burnout. So I just wanted to highlight that. If you're, you know, listening to this conversation, there's so much to take away from this, but if you're like, guys, give me a tool, we can start with that, especially during the holiday season, asking, what do I need? Yes, and I love that you brought that up because the, what do I need? And many house cleaners, because we're people pleasers and because we're givers, sometimes what we need is we need the validation that we get a good job. And because we're not getting it, and a lot of times the holiday, it's kind of highlighted, because a lot of people spend their money on gifts, and then they don't give the house cleaners a tip or something, and some house cleaners get lots of tips, and then the other house cleaners that don't feel like, well, am I not good enough? Why didn't I get $500 in tips or whatever? And so when you ask, what do you need? One of the things that we discovered that's absolutely free to do is when we're doing the inspection at a house, and we've got our footboards in front of us, and we're marking off the things that we did. One of the things that I love to do is I stop and I look around the room as I'm inspecting it, and I ask myself, did I do a good job? And Erica just brought this up. Am I proud of what I did? Am I proud of myself? Yes, I am. Check it out, I did a great job. And I visually give myself a thumbs up. Like, yes, I did a great job. And that's myself validating, I did a great job. Now, what's interesting is the homeowners that are watching you on their home security cameras, they see you giving yourself a thumbs up and nodding like, aha, yeah, I did a great job. And I can't tell you how many times they've showed their friends like, oh my gosh, my house cleaners, my house right now, check it out and they'll show people their phone. Like, look, she just gave herself a thumbs up and she's nodding like, mm-hmm, yeah, this is the best. And people are like, how do I hire your house cleaner? We've picked up so many leads and referrals as a result of us giving ourselves a thumbs up and like, mm-hmm, yeah, I did a good job. Check it out, I did a good job. And as you check it off, you're checking it off with pride like, oh yeah, oh yeah, you're not calling me back, I got the goods. And it's a goofy thing, but I can't tell you how well it works. And when you leave that room, and this is every room in the house, when you leave every room in a customer's house and you're like, aha, yeah, yeah, oh yeah, I'm it. It makes you feel really good. And when you leave the house, you leave with your head held high and you feel like, you know what, I gave this house my best. As I'm leaving a house and I'm carrying my cleaning caddy out to my car, there's this moment where you're whipped. I mean, I'm not gonna be, I'm gonna be honest, I'm not gonna be ugly, but when you leave, you're like, ah, I'm just whipped. That's when I stand up straight and I'm like an actress, okay? Like all the neighbors are watching me, I'm on stage, lights, camera, action. I'm walking to my car and I walk with my best posture. And I walk out of the house and I ask myself this question. If this was the last house I ever cleaned, is this how I wanna go out? And I'm like, yes, it is. I just gave that house my very best. And I walk out to my car and I put my stuff in my car like, ta-da! And I can't tell you, it comes through. I'm like, oh my gosh, I saw your house cleaner come out like out of the house, like really proud of their work and like, oh my gosh. And we've had people literally run up to us and go, hey, do you have any openings? Can you come bid my house? Yes, I can. And I'll swap out one worksheet for the next, walk across the street and bid a job right there and just close it. Like you asked me, you just saw what we're doing, let me just write up the order. That is the best thing I've literally ever heard. I do literally every session, whether it's group or individual, every start of the call, I do celebrations. And people are like, no. And I'm like, no. And so I love that you highlighted that because that talk about like business, and showing up like you as the brand and being in celebration of yourself, I always, and this is a tool that we can all take away. Thank you for sharing that story. That's literally the best thing I've ever heard. But I always tell my clients before every call, like before we jump in, before we go to the stuff, give me some celebrations. And you think, oh, what an easy tool. How silly, how, and then it's like, oh, I have to really celebrate myself. And it's so powerful. So this is another tool that we could take away today as well is daily celebrate. I love what you did. I think if everyone can integrate that chef's kiss and another one is celebration. So you know what? I'm really proud of myself that I got that toy on sale for my nephew. I'm really proud of myself how I really tried and I made the rapping extra proud. I'm really proud, like I want us to get into a mode of celebration. Cause like you said, it translates. It translates in someone's energy when they're like, I'm proud of myself. I'm worthy. I'm deserving like, who is that person? You know, like, hey, who is that person? I want to know them. But on a business perspective, who is that person? I want that person in my energy. So I love that you gave that example. That is so fabulous. And I think that's so, so also it's a nice way to wrap it up. You know, like wrap up the work that you just did. It's like, yeah, I feel good. I can move on. I love that. That's, I think that's so cool. Well, one of the things that I've found is oftentimes we're our own worst enemy and we second guess ourselves. And as a result of that, when we show up in second guessing ourself mode other people also second guess us. But if we show up with like, I just checked and I'm the best house cleaner I know. What we do is we give them to look at us the same way. Like, I think that's the best house cleaner I know, right? They think they're the best. I think they're the best too, right? We give them permission to see us the same way. And I don't want to say like, oh, just paint yourself into like this arrogant corner where like you're unstoppable. But when you feel unstoppable, I think it kind of exudes from you. And then people are like, hey, you know what? This is, if I'm looking at energy, the person with their head slumped and then the person that's like, hey, I'm so confident in my abilities and I take pride in my work. I think they're attracted to that. And all things being equal price being the same, the cleaning being the same, I think people will gravitate toward something that is enlightening and maybe more motivational than somebody who does just kind of like, ah, I just so wept out of cleaning that house. I just can't get home fast enough. Yeah, yes. Also, you want to go back to the job. You feel invigorated. Talk about the connection between the confidence and this is a great conversation no matter what, but there's a direct correlation between this confidence and the burnout. Because when you're like, I am, I'm proud of myself. I didn't, I could show anyone I know that work. I'm really proud. You're less likely to take the breadcrumbs from life. Again, situations happen, but you're less likely because you're like, I'm worthy. Why am I putting myself into a soul sucking, soul crushing situation? When you have that little, I'm a worthy human, we're less likely to ingest the poison, if that makes sense. Again, situations, situations, but we're less likely to take that on. So I think what you have done is so fabulous. And I think there's really a lot of magic to those daily celebrations, to again, from not an arrogant point of view, but just like I'm worthy. I did a great job. It really helps us slowly spiral up from the burnout. Cause we're like, why am I doing this? Why am I hurting myself? You know, like why am I hurting me? Well, in the house cleaning industry, this is a catch cause I think a lot of house cleaners end up cleaning all day by themselves. And so we play these tapes over and over again in our heads. Either I'm not worthy or I am worthy. And it's easy to let anything somebody said on social media or old tapes that friends said or family said or whatever play through your head. And maybe we don't think that we're worthy. One of the things, and I'm gonna share this with you because if you're working in a house all day by yourself, yeah, you're on security cameras and they're gonna see you, but you're kind of alone with your own thoughts. And so you can be as arrogant as you want and no one can stop you and no one can see those thoughts. So one of the things that we train our house cleaners to do is every time they walk past a mirror, cause in a house you have lots of mirrors to clean. Every time you look at a mirror, there's you. You get to see yourself in that mirror. And it's easy to see the matted hair and you're sweating profusely. And you know, again, we're our own worst enemy. But I like to look right in the mirror and go, you, I showed up for you today. Yes. And it's really weird because when you do that, all of a sudden you're like, whoa, because there's somebody in the mirror that's cheering you back, right? Yeah, you have to ignite that. But every time you walk past a mirror like, hey friend, I showed up for you today, you know? And for all the mirrors we got to clean. At the end of the day, you clean 12 or 15 mirrors. You do that 12 or 15 times a day. You can't help it feel just a tiny bit better. Yes. I love that. You are the best. I'm like, oh my gosh, you have the best tips and tricks. And my friend, my dear friend, you always say thoughts kill or thoughts cure. Oh, that's so good. It's some like, yes. And like you said, there's this spaciousness. No one's reading your thoughts when you're in those moments. Use it, play, play. Like what would it be like to be like, you know what, just for today, I'm gonna try. Like what would it be like to, as I clean, say I am amazing and track the amazing things I've done and think, what would it be like just to play in that world of positivity? And then maybe try playing in the other negative tape and you see the difference in how you feel. It's like just play. Play with what's going right. Play with your celebrations. Like I really do believe thoughts kill or thoughts cure. And it's like, how can we get back to our rightness, our celebration? And I love the mirror exercise because I always tell my clients too, anytime you see a mirror or a zoom or a reflective surface, can you give yourself a little hey? And can you get like, hi? And can you give yourself a celebration? And it could be even if our hair is crazy and there's wild things going on. Like I see you, I'm proud of you. Or I love that you showed up today even though you didn't want to, you could give yourself physical compliments, you know, emotional compliments, but I love that. I think that's so fabulous. I really, oh my gosh, I love how you've made this. Yeah, I'm just in awe of you. Well, I think you are fabulous. And I'm looking at our clock and our time is up for today. And I think it's just zipped right by. And I want to say thanks to all of you guys that have showed up today. But please, Erica, tell our listeners where they can go to find you. Of course. And please, please, please come to find me. Because I am, I love this conversation. There's so much more to talk about. As we talked about before, you can find me on my website, which is wethelight.org. You could hit me an email. We could talk about all the things. But here's something I do want to offer you all, like we talked about before, this work is for everyone. This work should be accessible to everyone. And I am all about giving away free sessions, sliding scale. So what you could do is you could hit me that email info at wethelight.org. And I could direct you to the Zant app. Zant is an incredible, incredible mental health resource. And from there, we will set up a consultation. And then we could talk about sliding scale prices. It's fabulous. Like I said, you could hit me on my website or you can go to Zant. You can download it to free app in your phone. So download Zant Z-A-N-T. Download it, amazing providers come up and you could look up me, Erica W. Shoot me a line and we can keep the conversation going. Because this is, you've really created such a special space. And we all need to be held in this. So thank you for having me. And I'm just so jazzed that we can continue this conversation off of this platform. So thank you. Well, thank you so much. I appreciate this. And thank you guys to all of you that showed up today. And may you all have a very happy Christmas. Thanks and take care.