 When you try to make it work with a narcissist when you try to help or support them When you try to make things right The narcissist is never satisfied with anything you do for them They're never happy So sometimes people think what if they just try harder? What if they try to make things right? What if they try to promote or support the narcissist? What if they try to make things better for them, but if any of you have tried this already You will know that it doesn't work You cannot make it work with the narcissist You are wasting your time by trying to compromise with them You should never make any agreements that are in their favor Because it will come back to bite you Any effort you make to support them Will only be things that you regret later down the line Because it's only going to put you in a vulnerable position It's only going to improve that ability to control you because you're putting power in the wrong hands You're giving power to someone who is only going to misuse it Someone who is only going to use it against you Many people think that by compromising with the narcissist And being nice to them That puts you in a position where you are safe and protected And in some situations That may keep them off your back for a short period of time But it doesn't keep you out of harm's way If you have invested all of your time energy and money into the narcissist And then have expectations for a return on your investment It just sets you up for failure It puts you in a no-win situation Where there is no way for you to succeed as the task which you have been assigned Because their idea of love is dependent on a set of circumstances It is subject to conditions and requirements being met If a narcissist is at a low point in their lives And you manage to meet these conditions and requirements It may suppress their arrogance They may be nice to you They may even cooperate with you You won't see some of the most harmful traits and symptoms of their disorder You might see some red flags But they will withdraw their claim or assertion in the face of opposition Because they know that they really can't act out when they're at a low point But when they start to feel like they're achieving something When they start to feel like they're getting somewhere in life That's when their arrogance is going to grow And they will start to think they're better than you Because the more you try to make it work with the narcissist You're just building them up You're improving their lives Until they start to think they're superior They become more arrogant It gives them an exaggerated sense of self-importance Which they already had to some degree in the beginning But now they're more overt They're not even hiding their narcissism anymore It's only after they've suffered a narcissistic injury Whether at a low point in their lives Whether then covert They're not acting arrogant They're not showing you they don't care about anything They're not going to do that when they find a suitable target They're going to be nice to you They're going to cooperate with you And they will be easier to deal with in that situation Because they're at a low point in their lives And they need you to build them up This is when people usually meet the narcissist When the narcissist is at their lowest point When the narcissist is not doing well And if you listen to the narcissist They will even tell you how things were so much better before Maybe they had more money Maybe they were more attractive Maybe they had a lot more going on in their lives But now they have to work harder They have to put on their charm to manipulate you To make themselves appear attractive and interesting And they will go to extreme lengths to do this They will do things that most people won't do Because they already feel like they're at the bottom of the barrel They feel like they're at the lowest possible level As though they're completely useless and worthless So they will do anything to get out of that situation They will take desperate measures They will do things that many of you can't even imagine If you look back at when you first met them You will remember that they were going through something But they made it seem like their situation was better than what it actually was When really, they didn't like their situation either Which is why they were so quick to abandon it to be with you But they exaggerate these things They make it seem like it's more than what it is They tell you they're making more money than what they actually are And whatever they're exaggerating or lying about is what they're looking to take from you They just don't want to reveal that it's what they're trying to do So they try to make it seem like they don't need anything from you But this is what causes them to later become more overt When you start to see the abuse When they've had a narcissistic injury While you're taking care of them While you're encouraging their development Because you're just feeding the beast You're strengthening the monster within them Because no matter what you do for them It's still there That wicked hateful person Who has contempt for people still exists inside of them It never went anywhere But they're so full of themselves That they just take you for granted They lose sight of the significance of the very person who was helping them Because they don't really value you You're just something they depend on As a means of escape from a difficult situation That's all you are to them So when you're trying to make it work with a narcissist You're just a lifeline You're just bringing this evil wicked person Back into their strongest form While they forget all about you They forget about everything you did to get them into where they are now They forget about your significance They forget about how you were always there to help them Because now they have this inflated ego They have this exaggerated sense of their self-importance Now they're back to being who they are You might have done a lot of things for them But once their arrogance begins to rise They begin to entertain their fantasy world Where they are superior They are better than everyone And they should be treated as such While everyone else around them is inadequate When you do all of this stuff to make it work with a narcissist At some point they're just going to take everything you've done for them And just dismiss you as insignificant They're just going to feel like they're better than you Even though you're the one who helped them Because you're just an object of the narcissist You're just something they step on to get ahead So you're just wasting your time trying to make it work with a narcissist Because you're just an object You're just a tool that they use to make themselves feel better So that they can entertain their fantasy world And feel like they're superior to everyone around them And that's when they turn against you They start talking down to you Everything you say is stupid They don't want to cure anything you have to say Because now they're feeling better They've rebuilt their fantasy Even though you're the reason why they're doing better They don't want to accept that They don't want to hear it Because that means that they can't do any better than you While in their fantasy world They are better than most people Which includes you When they see someone who has greater qualities or abilities Their objective is to prevent them first Because they see them as a lifeline They see them as something that they can depend on To provide a means of escape from a difficult situation And then they invade this person's life Until they then steal their qualities and abilities They take anything that they deem to be valuable or significant And when they've got what they wanted from them They destroy the person They devalue and degrade them They assassinate their character They make false and damaging statements about them They smear their name Because this object that is greater than them Has to be put beneath them To support the narcissist narrative of being superior For this to take place, the narcissist has to destroy their source They have to destroy this person that they have imitated Because they wanted all to themselves They're so envious and jealous of your qualities and abilities That at a subconscious level they have to dismiss you as insignificant They have to rewrite the meaning of who you are to them They can't give you the praise and compliments that you deserve They can't celebrate everything you've done for them They can't give you any credit They have to take all the credit for themselves While they are using everything that you taught them They will claim ownership of things that rightfully belong to you Because they see it as something impressive And they know that other people will find it impressive too So they steal it from you They claim it as their own And sometimes you may even catch them entertaining their own illusions You may catch them acting or talking like you do Using words that you use Because they're so wrapped up in their own illusions They believe their own lies They steal qualities from anyone who they believe is desirable or impressive And then they use it to impress other people To make themselves seem intelligent and dynamic When really it's just something they've stolen from other people or from you They've just claimed it as their own And now they're using it to attract other people Who also think that it belongs to them Who also think that it's a part of who they are They don't realise that they're frauds If you try to make it work with a narcissist Don't expect them to use it in a positive way Don't expect them to use it to improve their lives Or to become a better person Because that's not what they're going to do They're just going to use it to gain new supply They're just going to use it to present a false image to other people So that they can get attention and admiration So that they can get compliments and praise For something that has nothing to do with them anyway They have no interest in becoming better people To where they could then give back to the people Who helped them get to where they are now Instead, they dismiss you as insignificant They devalue and degrade you They try to turn people against you You're made to look like a bad person Someone who is responsible for trouble, harm or damage Because the only thing the narcissist validates and supports Is their disorder And while you invested all of your time, energy and money Into trying to build something with the narcissist You will only be left with damage and destruction in the end Thank you for watching I hope this video resonate with you Please like, comment, share and subscribe If you would like to donate My PayPal link is in the video description Coaching inquiries You can email me at coaching at narksurvivor.co.uk Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon