 All right, I'm Andre and I'm from Pasco and I just want to share a few things that God's been working on with my life and I smoked weed for about seven and a half years and I used it to get away from problems. I used it to numb myself because I Mean it got to the point where I did it so much where I didn't know why I Needed it why I wanted it and so It happened if you can show the words if you can show the picture it happened on January 16th I believe I was working and we were driving back was probably like 10 o'clock and we slid off the road and If you guys know anything about laws of motion Newton third law of motion is a object in motion stays in motion unless acted upon some other force and so we were going down that road about 25 30 miles an hour and My buddy my partner was driving and he was like, you know, I woke up and I was just like hey How are you doing? And he's like, you know, I'm tired. I can't he's like I was like pull over Let me start driving and so I unbuckle the seat belt he presses the brakes and the car starts sliding and If you're going 25 miles an hour and you're not wearing a seat belt in the passenger seat you'll be flying the other direction 25 miles an hour and I walked out of it scratch-free No headaches no pain and the other guy the driver was actually had a like a problem with his head he had the headaches afterwards and This kind of set me up and where I mean after the day afterwards I went snowboarding and I mean I still smoked weed and But it wasn't the same anymore because I knew that somewhere Something was holding me somewhere something was looking after me and didn't allow me to fly out that window and land God knows where because it was a good 30 40-yard drop afterwards. We're clunk going down like a mountain road and I mean I laid in bed. I question. I was like why why why and And so and then I started thinking about you know my addiction I started thinking I was like God, you know, why do I need this and and and I felt like God told me He's like this addiction is a symptom. It's not your root and I was just I looked I was just like what the heck you know, I've been struggling with this for seven and a half years almost and God started showing things back to my first relationship where I Mean some things happened some things were said where I didn't know how to deal with it and so I started running to marijuana to numb the pain and I started running it to so much to so much that I mean throughout life. I did modeling I did underwear model underwear modeling. So I mean I was ripped. I most of you gym monkeys You know when you see a guy who's 185 pounds and his 3% body fat You that guy walks like a lion Everybody even gym trainers would ask me. What are you doing? What are you taking cuz I mean gym trainers for about what four or five years? they couldn't get to where I was where I got in like two three months and I mean in still still inside that rejection It's it was growing bigger even though I was you know walking on clouds and like you know what people were envious of me and I still there was just a big hole in my heart that would not be filled and I mean I wanted to I wanted it to be filled. So I tried I tried it all I mean I didn't go into heavy heavy drugs But I tried with what I tried you know messing around with opposite genders thinking that you know that maybe that Someone will love me for who I was But I didn't know who I was I've been lying to myself for so long. I've been Deceived but so long that you know, I didn't know who Andre was you know, I knew that you know, I'm a I'm a dude You know, but I couldn't you know like I woke up in the morning. I had no purpose to life I I smoked weed in the morning before I went to work I had to smoke weed to go to sleep because if I didn't I wouldn't sleep at night and the times I tried to quit I would only get like maybe an hour two hours of sleep at night and I'll start losing my appetite I would went from 185 to about 140 in two weeks. I mean that's weight loss I mean that's I was going nuts and it got to the point where I couldn't handle it anymore where I was Laying in my bed and I was just like, you know, I can't do this and that's when thoughts of suicide Started creeping in and you know, they start creeping in creeping in I know just be like, you know, this is just stupid whatever and and After a while after a while just the worthless like I felt so worthless and so I started entertaining those thoughts and I mean, I come from a family Some of you guys would want to be where I am like loving parents loving siblings I mean, we're not wealthy, but we're prosperous. We're happy. I wasn't and that's what killed me And so laying in my bed. I was I knew that if this wouldn't stop I would not see 2016 and it scared me because you know looking at myself and knowing what I could become and not being able to reach out and grab it because of the ball and chain that was tied around my neck and that would always hold me back and I just didn't know what to do and so I mean I've been to church most of my life and so I heard, you know, the God heals, but I I Didn't see it do it in my life because I was so in pain. My heart was just so shattered and I lay there and I felt like the soft voice was like Andre I died for you My heart was broken for you. I bled out all my blood so that way you don't have to live in pain and I Didn't know I was like God. I didn't know how to let go. I didn't know how to forgive myself I didn't know how to forgive others and I didn't even know who I was and And It was just that still small voice that said just give it to me Why are you carrying something so heavy that I took it all for you and That night I I just said God I don't need it anymore It was just like this Just like that like just weight lifted off me. I cried there was I mean my bed was completely wet because of my tears and First night in about seven years. I went to sleep First night I won't went to sleep laying on my back. I woke up on my back Morning I come around. I was so fresh. I was so rested Where I mean seven years I Couldn't I mean it would be weeks where I would go with five hours of sleep and it destroyed me because I knew that there was something holding me back and after After it happened. I never had dreams so when I go to sleep, I would wake up and there would be nothing and I I was like I knew that there was you know like and Bible says that they will dream dreams and they will have good sleep and so two days afterwards I started having dreams again and I mean I I was so happy to wake up I was so happy to see sunlight again and before it was like, you know, why this another day and I mean, it was just the greatest feeling in the world and And I just want to say that You know, God took it all away and I felt like God said You know, you were on my mind before I made the world and That caught me so deep because I mean I I hated everyone. I hated myself and To know that the creator of the universe was Was thinking about me before even he made the whole world just Just just stuck me so deep and I mean after that day I mean, I still had I still had cravings Until God was just like give it to me and give it all you have give all the burden you carry Just drop it on me and I'll take it you take my load. It's so easy and I mean I came to realization or I needed this and so I finally made the decision and After that, I mean my life is never the same I mean all you people that I mean going through the same thing. Maybe it's maybe it's not rejection. Maybe it's something else Don't give up There's there's God in heaven who are who's the architect? He made you he knows how much hairs are on your head He knows the way you what you need and what you want Just if it's pain just give it to him He took it all for you and he he didn't hold anything back And so just I want to say that don't stop even though life gets hard don't stop