 Back in the day, my family used to be poor as hell, I'm being honest. No toys, no clothes, the kitchen, if you could even call it a kitchen, it was so empty of groceries, so empty that the roaches that we had, we'd actually be stealing food from them. And you know what? It wasn't too bad because even though we were poor as shit and couldn't afford most of the luxuries of the world, I still had ways of getting what I wanted, you know? Not with money, not by blackmailing people, but by reading. Yeah, just reading books. Because back in my school, we had these things called Accelerated Reading Points or AR Points for short. There were these points you got just from reading a book, taking a test on the book, and then based on how long the book was, that's how many AR Points you got. AR Points, they were like the gold currency in school, you know? The people with the highest amounts of AR Points were treated like kings, alright? Absolute royalty. Now anything you wanted could be granted to you so long as you had the AR Points for it. Trips to fancy restaurants. Trips to five-star amusement parks. Man, you wanted the hot English teacher to suck your dick? Fine. As long as you read the books and took the test, it was all possible. It was a poor kid's dream. You know, I needed rich parents or a lucky shot at the lottery. All I needed to do was read and keep reading. Now, now a lot of times, school had bonus rewards for the kids that, you know, were in like the top 10 highest AR Points, which, now I was in the top five and sometimes the top one, but once I graduated to middle school, everything changed. I remember walking up to the library and like the little shit that I was and I was like, yeah, my name is Gregory, grade six. I'll redeem my bonus rewards right now, please. And she looks at me with this funny face and she's like, you do know you're not in the top 10, right? And I'm like, what? What did you just say? You're not in the top 10. And then she shows me the list. And I'm wondering, wait a minute, is this the top 10 list for the AR Points or the memorial service for the Kamikaze pilots during Pearl Harbor? Because every person on that list was Asian. All right, no matter how hard I tried that whole sixth grade year, I can never get back into the top 10. Not even the top 20. These Asian kids were like super computers. A normal kid like me, you know, a normal kid like me will get a bit tired after reading for a while. I'd be like, oh, I've been reading Warrior Cats for a few hours. Time to go play outside or something. These Asian kids would be like, oh, I've been reading Warrior Cats for a few hours. Time to read the dictionary. Now, with how fast they read the books, I was wholeheartedly convinced that they ripped the pages out of the books, ate them, and gained all of its knowledge. Another thing is, they had an advantage over me. Now, I'm not even making any excuses now. They had an advantage over me. You see, a lot of the big AR Points books in my school were like these thick fantasy books like Harry Potter that my mom didn't approve of. Being the super religious island person that she was, she'd always say, nah, bring the magic book up in ya. You know, she didn't like books about magic, books that had demons, monsters, nothing. You know, the only fantasy book that I was able to convince her to let me read was Narnia. And that's mostly because Aslan, you know, the big lion-nig in the Narnia books was like a metaphor for Jesus Christ or something like that. But one day, I crashed. You know, I couldn't take it anymore. Nah, I needed to regain my former glory of being a top 10 AR pointer. I needed that bonus reward high. So, you know, I went to the fantasy fiction section, grabbed the first fat book I could find, I didn't even look at it until I got to the checkout line, and I saw the cover of it. Twilight. If I were to read this book, I'd have to be moving around my house, like Splinter Cell. Alright, under no circumstances can my mom find out I was reading the book about vampires, alright? And I'll be honest, before I started reading the book, I was kind of afraid, seeing how adamant my mom was about not reading books like these. I thought that the moment I opened the book, some demon would just, would just hop out and then slaughter my whole family, or you know, I get possessed or something like that. But no. In fact, I fell in love with the book Twilight and the whole Twilight series. And more than that, I fell in love with the, you know, the vampire-gothic romance genre. And then I started hoarding books like Vladimir Todd, Blue Bloods, Vampire Category, you know, anything that had vampires and romance, I was magnetized too. You know, I read all these vampire love books, I was also kind of thrown into the, I guess, romantic era of my life. I started listening to more love songs, started watching more love movies, started taking showers once a week, instead of once a month, so you know, I could start talking to women. And even though I was still taking the AR test for the books, I'd almost forgotten entirely about being in the top 10 or even how many AR points I had in general. Until one day, as I was checking out Eclipse in the school library, it just finally got in after some fat bitch who would never get any type of the love that she was reading in that book. She finally checked in the book after like five months. And the librarian tells me, congrats, you're one of our top 10 AR pointers. And I couldn't believe it. I didn't even do it. I was just like, just dumbfounded like how that day, I went home with my head held high, you know, doing little mini dances and, you know, singing to myself on a bus. When I got home, I put Eclipse on the living room table, and then I headed into the bathroom to take a victory piss. But wait a minute, did you hear what I just said? No, you didn't because you weren't paying attention. I put Eclipse on the living room table while I was in a bathroom empty in my bladder. I heard like this weird breathing. And I'm like, what is that? What's that breathing noise? It sounds like some sort of enraved rhino and me still being the happy ball of joy that I was. I left the bathroom and then I saw the most horrifying image I'd ever witnessed in my entire life. My mom, my Eclipse book, both within approximately a zero inch proximity of one another. She had that book vice grip in her left hand, eyes looking deep into my soul. Have you ever heard of the nickname of the event that started the American Revolutionary War? It's called the shot heard round the world. All right. Well, that day when my mom found my Eclipse book, I got the ass beating heard round the world. Whoa, quarter of a million subscribers. We finally did it guys. Yay. Let's see what's changed. All right. I still live in the same house. I still haven't gotten my first piece of ass. Yeah, I'm 21. I know it's kind of sad. I know YouTube's not sending me my 100,000 subscriber plaque that I should have gotten last year because I guess my channel's too edgy or something like that. But you know what? At the end of the day, bro, even though I'm a complete fucking loser, I guess I made it to 250,000 subscribers, bro. They can't hold me for that one, bro. Anyways, thank you guys so much for subscribing and liking throughout the, I think it's been like four or five, six years I've been on YouTube. I don't fucking know. But yeah, I love all of you. Thank you so much. I'm so glad I don't have to get a real job. Thank you so much. Again, I have a Twitter and Instagram. I hope you guys join me there because I get very lonely at the night times and that's pretty much it. You have a great day and a great night. Bye bye.