 So, the other day I had a post on my personal Facebook page about how I think dating has turned into a kind of a hook-up opportunity more often than actually building a relationship with someone. And just to give you an example of something I shared with my girlfriend the other day, I said, dating today is like shopping at Nordstroms. You can go on, you can try on some clothes, you can walk out with the clothes. And then when you're tired of the clothes, what's great about Nordstroms is they'll accept returns sometimes one or two years later. In fact, they'll accept returns from even a different department store. And it seems to me that if we're going to go shopping for something, then we should be serious about keeping it. And of course there's occasions where you purchase something and it doesn't fit right at home and you return it very quickly. But I don't like the idea of, you know, the using of people. And I say the using of people is entering into a relationship without being a bit serious. And so what I implied in the post is that these days I see a lack of intentionality of actually wanting to build a life with another person. And one of our members posted a comment in that she said that not everybody wants a serious relationship. And that's actually a fair statement. Not everybody either wants a serious committed relationship. But more importantly, not everyone is capable of a serious committed relationship for a variety of different reasons. Maybe they've got issues with an ex-spouse. Maybe they have issues with children. Maybe they have health issues. Maybe they have money issues. Oftentimes when the ground underneath the person isn't solid, it's very difficult for them to lean into a serious relationship. And yet at the same time, they're capable of having companionship, connection, and sex with another person without the deeper roots of commitment. What I also implied was that my coaching is mostly designed for those that want to build deeper roots with someone. For those people that actually want to maybe even get remarried at some point in their life to actually establish a long-term, serious, fully committed relationship. That's the way I focus my coaching. And so I'm not a big proponent of casual relationships. And yet many of us have experienced casual relationships. I know I certainly have experienced casual relationships. I think for myself though, when I think it's going to be something casual, I actually cut it off very quickly. And what I mean to say is if I don't think it has potential for the long-term, I don't go with the, what's the term, going with the motions, it now escapes me that particular terminology. But I'm not going to have a relationship of convenience just to have a relationship. That's the way I operate. And that's, in fact, I've always operated that way even after my divorce. And while I found myself in some relationships that didn't go the distance, it's because quite frankly I didn't know what I wanted. And I wasn't capable of a long-term partnership with someone. In fact, it took me probably a decade and a half to actually be in that space where I am in today, where I can fully lean into partnership with someone. And certainly along the ways I've had multiple short-lived relationships. And my hope is I've always operated from a place of integrity with these relationships. I'm not sure every woman might think that way. And the point of why I'm sharing this with you is you have to look inward and ask yourself, what are you really capable of exploring? Because some of you may want a fully committed, serious relationship. And yet you may not be capable of it because the ground underneath you isn't solid. And that's okay to explore connection, companionship and sex with another person. I think most importantly is to have conversations about where you're at in your life. I know with my girlfriend and I, we are basically on our technically our third date, if you will, of the third time we engaged with one another. We laid our cards on the table. We said, this is who I am. This is who I am. And this is where I'm at in my life. And she did it and I did it. And we looked at it and we said, you know what? Where she's at and where I'm at, we could actually blend this together. And we had a deeper conversation about the distance and how we would navigate this to actually be in a position where now we're actually moving in with one another. And why I'm sharing this with you is we had the more, what I believe are the more important conversations, the deeper conversations instead of the casual conversations people are having today. How's your day going? Did you have a good day? I hope you had a good day. I see a lot of couples that they are operating at the surface level. And this is why they are in casual relationships. If you want a deeper committed relationship, then you're going to have to ask the much tougher questions. The first it starts asking the tougher questions of oneself to say, where am I at in my life and am I fully capable of a committed relationship? And it's one thing to desire it and it's another thing to be capable of it. And even if you want it and you're not capable of it, it isn't going to happen. And it starts by looking inward. And when you look inward, you can actually establish who you are and where you're at in your life. And more importantly, it allows you to ask the deeper questions of another person to see who they are and where they're at in their life. And ultimately, if you're like me, you want a fully committed, serious, long-term relationship that is a partnership of some sort, then my hope is you go beyond the surface of, listen, we all have been indoctrinated in the belief that chemistry equals relationship success. And yet what I've learned significantly is that the secret to relationship success is chemistry is one component. And more importantly, shared values, blendable lifestyles, and more importantly, emotional maturity and relationship skills. And if you don't have those skills yet, then read the books I continually recommend over and over again so you can actually be prepared for maybe that relationship in a future that actually goes the distance. And that's my invitation for everyone. Is this sinking in? Is this resonating with you? Please let me know. All right, I think you get the gist of where I'm going. Casual relationships, serious relationships. If you want to move from the casual to the serious, then first you must ask yourself, who am I? What do I really want? And where am I in my life being honest with yourself and then doing the same with another so you can actually determine if you're a good fit for one another long term or is this just going to be a short-term experience? And there's nothing wrong with that as well. All right, I think you get the gist of what I thought. Listen, I'd like to hear your thoughts on this. Please post a comment below if this resonated with you. If there's something more you'd like to add. As always, if you find value in the group, please tell your friends about Midlife Love Mastery. Send them to my website, jonathanaslee.com. Love them. Click that group coaching button so they can join our fantastic group. And I'm going to sign off this video as I always do. First off, give myself a big, gigantic job than bear a hug of self-love. I'm going to reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay. I'm going to ask you to turn to someone, a pet, a teddy bear pillow, and give itter them a hug of love because hugs are a great source of love. And let's face it, we could all use more love in our lives. Thanks a bunch. Bye-bye now. Bye-bye.