 Love is far from a simple emotion. Relationship experts all around the world have been trying to uncover the secrets of that passionate feeling that makes us blush and smile from ear to ear. Today, we know about different types of love in different love languages. And recently, we're beginning to understand different behaviors we exhibit in a relationship. Experts call these behaviors love styles. They define how you associate and relate to your romantic partner. The special thing about them is that they stem from our childhood experiences. According to licensed marriage and family therapists, Dr. Milan and Kay Yerkovich, there are five distinct love styles. In today's video, we'll tell you a little bit about each one and how you can recognize the way your partner feels about love. 1. The Victim If your partner's love style is the victim, there's a chance they grew up in a dysfunctional family where they couldn't voice their opinions. In relationships, victims usually suppress their anger, which then leads to passive-aggressive behaviors. Have you noticed those behaviors in your partner? They might be giving you silent treatments, using sarcastic remarks, or avoiding you completely if there's a disagreement. To make your relationship with the victim better, you should try acknowledging their feelings. When they try using passive-aggression against you, use kindness as a counter-attack. Tell them something like, I see something is upsetting you. Would you like to tell me what's going on? I'll be happy to listen. This way they feel like their voice is heard, and they'll know that they're safe to express themselves in a healthy way. 2. The Pleaser The pleaser grew up thinking that they need to satisfy everyone, but themselves. If your partner is a pleaser, you might notice they're always there to comfort you anytime, day or night. They barely ever argue with you and often let it be your way to avoid trouble and conflict. They might say phrases like, I don't want to annoy you, or I don't want you to be angry. Pleasers are visibly committed to your relationship, and maybe that's why you got attracted to them in the first place. But sometimes, that can backfire, then they might start feeling stuck and unsupported. They might feel they have to mask their feelings and pretend nothing is ever wrong just to keep the peace. As their romantic partner, remind them that neither of you are perfect and that's okay. Let them know that you're willing to listen to them and encourage them to be open and honest about their worries. So far, what do you think about these love styles? You think something about them sounds familiar? Each of these love styles is rooted deep into a person's childhood and is connected to something called the attachment theory. If you don't know what that is and are curious to find out, check out this video of ours. 3. The Vasilator The Vasilator love style describes a person who really wants connection and is somewhat a hopeless romantic. They idealize new relationships, hoping and longing for attention and love. But they seek the type of love they see in the movies. Sometimes they might feel unfulfilled. That's when they might say things like, I don't feel heard, I don't feel important to you, you don't get me, I'm done. As a result, you could both feel frustrated and confused. To have a healthy relationship with a Vasilator, you need to provide them with emotional support and be willing to listen. You want them to feel heard and appreciated. That way, even though they won't get their fairytale relationship, they might stop questioning themselves so much and start enjoying your love. 4. The Avoider Avoiders didn't share their feelings and affection while they were growing up. As a result, in romantic relationships, they don't know how to express their love verbally. Does that sound like your partner? Instead, they prefer showing it through their actions. Which could be a bad thing if there's someone who likes to be told that you're loved. Your partner might also be an avoider if they have problems with physical intimacy. You might feel awkward cuddling, hugging, or kissing. Which could leave you touch-stark. If you want your relationship with an avoider to thrive, you need to make sure to communicate what you need, clearly and respectfully. You can explain that every once in a while, you'd like them to be a bit more affectionate. But let them be the one to initiate it. Compromise is a key to feeling good with an avoider. During conflicts, try to give them time to cool off, since they don't really respond to emotions. 5. The Controller A person with this love style learned to do things on their own at a young age. They grew up believing that being in control means that they are strong and capable. Today, when a controller is in a relationship, they tend to showcase their decisiveness and ability to take charge. With a controller, you don't have to spend 30 minutes deciding where to go out, and they know what they want, right away. In some cases, this means they're confident in themselves, but sometimes it may grow into toxic behavior. You may start to be afraid of their controlling behavior. They might try to control the way you dress, who you hang out with, or who you talk to on your phone. If you're dating a controller, it's important to put some emphasis on taking care of yourself first. Work on your self-esteem. Learn how to set boundaries and practice assertive communication. Make them know you respect them, but they have to respect you too. When your love style is being met, you feel loved and desired. However, if your love style is ignored or not understood, you may feel insecure, taken for granted, and bitter towards your partner. And in turn, your partner feels the same way. This is what makes love styles so important. By openly communicating what you need and listening to what your partner needs, you can develop a more fulfilling relationship. What do you think? Which love style describes your partner the best? Is that compatible with the way you love? Let us know.