 What's up you guys it's Madonna welcome back to my channel for those of you who are new and there is a lot of you Welcome to my channel if you have not had a chance to kind of get acquainted with me in my channel I typically make healthcare related content that is educational informational and inspirational So take a look around at my channel if you like what you see go ahead and subscribe I also want to get to know you guys as well as you're getting to know me I want to get to know you so as you're watching this video Please leave a comment in the comment section below What city and state you're watching from well, you don't have to be that specific You don't have to tell me the city But you could absolutely tell me the state if you want to do that You know if you don't want to do this whole city thing Definitely let me know where you're watching from and if you're watching from another country Let me know that as well because I want to know my viewers and where you guys are watching from as you Guys get to know me So many of you have seen my video from last week where I failed my boards and yes I was very sad and like in a little bit of a depressed mode But I did not want you guys to think that I stayed in that mode I was in a mode of like why why did this happen? Why me? Why god? Why? And I realized that I should be focusing less on the why and more on the what what can I learn from this experience What can others learn from this experience, which is my experience and what next so what I Learned from this experience was that there are a multitude many many many multitude of really nice people in the world you guys have kind of like restored my faith in humanity because It's hard when you're like always on the internet or like you seeing on the news like it's always some new tragedy But you guys came with all of these words of encouragement You uplifted me you gave me hope letting me know like hey like this will pass. This is not it Like you you're gonna do great. And so I'm really really really grateful for that I'm very Private as I told you all in my last video But I had to share and so I was really grateful for all of the words of encouragement I thank you guys so much It really helped kind of like propel me out of that mode of depression that I was in I've also learned that you cannot go into test Afraid and I will talk more about that in another video But that was something big that was kind of weighing on me as I went into the exam And so I was just really really scared and so I'm gonna just touch more on that You know just kind of like performance anxiety or test taking anxiety That I experienced that day and I also learned that this is not it like yeah You are not a failure per se and I know I said that I felt like a failure And I mean at that moment I really did I did not pass my test I failed it and so like I felt like uh man like this is it, you know I had a lot of people investing in me not only monetarily But just like spiritually praying for me and you know like kind of having these hopes for me And I didn't really want to disappoint anyone because I'm like you guys invested all of this stuff in me and now Like I didn't kind of fulfill what I should have fulfilled But um, everyone was fine. I told my mom. She was great. She was like, oh, that's okay Like well, what's what's gonna happen? What's what can happen next, you know, and so um, it's been a great experience Although I have to I had to kind of deal with this like shame and hurt and you know sorrow initially Like this has actually been a really good experience Which is crazy something that um, I learned and that I feel others can learn from this is that hey, it's okay To have a depressed mood. It's okay to be sad when things Don't go the way that you envision them and when something is just like not cool, right? Like it's okay to be sad. Like that's a normal feeling to have however If you stay in that sadness and for everyone this time period is different But what I've learned and what I know is that once it starts affecting your daily life like negatively Then it's too much. So once you or others see that hey, this is affecting the way that you're living Then it's really time to kind of like push yourself up out of that But it's okay initially like you don't have to feel bad for crying and feeling sad. Okay. And lastly What next so what's next is that I have to take this test over again So I can take the test up to six times You can take it three times in a calendar year and you have to wait 90 days in between test taking modes So like I told you guys I have 90 days until I can take this test Um, I am not telling anyone when I'm taking the test because that kind of like gave me a little bit of anxiety Like everyone's like, hey, what are you taking the test? All right You're gonna do great and I know that people thought like that was like really encouraging And it kind of was but because I was so afraid it kind of did the opposite and made me just feel more anxious So I wanted to spell all of that. So I'm not telling anyone when I'm taking the test But I will be taking the test over so that is like first up. I will be studying very hard for this test I will keep you guys updated on my studying my study tips You know, I already like talk about study tips and habits And I just want you guys to know that this had nothing to do with knowledge base. Okay Like my school did two board reviews for us We had lots of quizzes throughout my last two months of PA school Lots of material to learn. I was studying the week up until Me taking my board exams. I was a really good student when it came to that information So it really wasn't that um, and that's again, I will talk about like that test anxiety that I had It was more so I was just scared So um, I will be talking about my study tips and what I'm doing differently and what I'm keeping And I'll also just kind of be going through, you know, just the feelings that I'm feeling now that I'm sitting up here And I have to take this test over again and just kind of going through that process But that's the first thing I'm going to be retaking this test and studying for it I'm also going to be putting out more content, you know I will continue to make videos for you all just giving all educational information and inspiration that I've learned along the way And just kind of keeping you abreast on me becoming a PA and what life as a PA currently in a certified PA soon to be will be Again, I just want to thank you guys so so much. Oh my gosh. Like you guys are amazing Okay, uh, all of those words of encouragement really really helped me I cannot say that enough And um, it just goes to show like how a little bit of kindness like how far it can go because you guys don't know me like that But you guys took the time to write a message out And encourage me while I was spilling down and so thank you guys so much for that Thank you so much for following me on this journey. I really appreciate it I feel like I'm about to cry again, and I'm not even a crier So I'm gonna like cut that. Thank you guys so much for watching. I will talk to you guys next time. Bye