 It's different if there's women out here who really ain't doing nothing, you know what I'm saying? They're not even chasing no goals, no dreams, nothing. They're just walking around Walmart and warehouse. I want a man with six beers and a Birkenbeck. How? But those exist too. And I would say this, most of the women who want the man, the 1% man are the women you just described. Really? Absolutely. That's interesting. Listen. It's the message right here. Like I was asking before, do you feel like there is a problem between black men and black women? Like a gap in understanding what do you think it is and how do we solve it? Ooh, how do we solve it? Well first I do feel like it's a disconnect. That's a fact. I can say that the reason why I feel it may be more of a disconnect than anything, it's because black men don't necessarily know how to set their standards more so earlier on. I feel like they allow a lot to happen earlier on and then feel some type of way later on. But it's like why you didn't correct that issue before. Things like what? What do you mean? More like I guess the communication. Really honestly, I mean women, sometimes we might be snappy or we don't have an attitude or you know, but if it's not set, that's not how we're going to have this conversation or this is not how we're going to speak to one another. Because as women we act out of emotion. Sometimes we're not even thinking. We're just trying to get you to see what our point is. But I feel like sometimes it does take men because you guys aren't as emotional to not get on our level but to bring us up to y'all level more so like okay, I'm not really trying to hear this. Or you know, she tripping or that's not what it was or that's not the restrictive is more like okay, let's bring it back. We're not going to be yelling, we're not going to be kissing at each other, let's bring it back. Like we can't have this conversation now, then maybe we need to have it later on. But I do feel the value of what you're saying. So one of the things that a lot of guys talk about and kind of complain about, especially in our community is this idea that our women have that I need somebody who can handle me. I need somebody who can put me in my place. And black men are asking, why does it even have to get there? Why do we, it's like trying to tame a wild horse or something like that. Why do we have to come in all aggressive and shut up and sit down and all that stuff to get a woman on our page or to respect us? I wouldn't say it's, because I feel like that's what it was at first for me. Like I needed that rah rah, like that alpha, that dominancy. But dominancy is like I said, in just simple conversation, like correction is more so what's needed. You know, it's that you don't have to be like be shut up or you know, don't do this and then I'm gonna smack you and all that. No, it's just a simple, okay, what are you doing? Like, why would you say it that way? Like, that's not what I meant, you know, or, you know, some, some simple corrections, sometimes simple corrections could switch our whole attitudes because it makes us think like, damn, did I just really just snap on him like that? Oops, I'm sorry. You know, then it makes you think. But if, like I said, you match that level or you just tune us out, you know, we're going to keep going. But if that becomes an expectation, if it becomes the expectation of, you know, whenever I pop off, whenever I get rowdy, he calms me down. Doesn't that in a way incentivize that type of behavior? It makes that the standard. As opposed to both people are adults and both people come into the conversation maturely. See, a lot of times we do come into conversation maturely. It just turns into that way because we don't feel like we're listened to or we don't feel like our point is being valued or our issues being valued. This is really just me being a woman based off the conversations I have with men sometimes, especially men that I'm in a relationship with. It's like, I come to you with my problem or my issue and now we reverse the issue to what I did. It's like, we never even talked about what the issue, like my issue. We just really just went to yours and now I have to defend myself. And I'm like, okay, now your problem is solved and we're not going to go back to minds because now you're ready to move on to the next thing. So now that's why we got attitudes and we see and we got to resent me. It's like, hey, man, we can never just let it out. And it'd be like, you know what, that was not even a perspective. That's not even what it was. Because a lot of times it's all about perspective. But if the communication isn't already there to where I know, you know, how you move or, you know, or I know you, then it really shouldn't be no type of miscommunication because I know you, I know you wouldn't move that way. You know? Or a lot of women defensive, just off top, baseline. I think so. I think so, I think so. I mean, it's, how can I say it? I feel like men act like they don't know other men. Like they don't understand how men operate out here in the real world. Like you don't have homeboys and they talk all that mess about what they do to women or how they act in front of women. But know that women go through things. So our trauma, granted, not saying that men don't go through anything. But in my opinion, if you don't speak on something, do you really go through it? You feel me? Because it's like at the end of the day, it's like, why would you not, why would you, you know what I'm saying? Not speak up. And women, we speak up too much. And men don't speak up at all. And now we're in this miscommunication where it's like, dang, I talk too much, you act like you can't talk to me. So now I'm the bad person, or now you're the bad person, you know? Do you think, that's interesting. Do you think that black men deserve more empathy from black women? 100%. But you have to, they have to allow us to be empathetic. How do you do that? Show emotion. Be human. It's okay to cry. It's okay to be mad. It's okay to go through things. It's okay to open up. The issue, I guess, in my mind is you don't even trust me. You know, black men don't even trust black women enough to really spill out our, you know, how they feel. Not necessarily, I mean, sometimes, you know, I get it how women was like, you know, maybe too sensitive. You can get too sensitive or, you know, some women may feel like that's sad, but a lot of women never really was raised with a man around to even know, or if they were raised around a man, he probably was all macho macho and never cried, you know? So it's really the standard of a man. It's like, dang, do you have to be strong? Okay, let me ask you. Do you have to be strong all the time? Why do you think black men don't trust black women? Oh, I really think it's like they feel. Because I'll tell you, but I wanna hear what you think first. Maybe they just don't feel like they're gonna be accepted if they are as far as like trusting as far as with emotions and how they feel. Maybe they just feel like they just won't be accepted. You know? Like maybe it's really like on some, and I can't even, I'm like, she probably don't think I'm a punk or something like that. Like, you know, I can't even, but it's like, then it's like, that's how you gonna raise your sons? Like, you know, it's like, dang, now it's gonna be a whole cycle. And now women are still here like, well, what are we supposed to do? You know? Nah. Why don't men trust women? Please let me know. I'm not gonna speak on like men and women broadly. I'm gonna speak specifically black men and black women. Okay, cool. As a heterosexual black man, you have a shorter leash of human expression than any other group. Okay. What I mean by that is, and I was saying this the other day, as a matter of fact, I was like, lesbians and white men get a lot freer range of human expression with black women than heterosexual black men. Okay. Because as a heterosexual black man, the expectation is that you are a, you're a two-pocket with a PhD. Okay. You're a thug, educated scholar, corporate nigger, who's also like, can fight in this, this, this and that. So you're pigeonholed into this very small box. Right. Believe it or not, our women don't let us escape that box because they select sexually for men who are close to that box. So what I mean by that is, the sensitive dude that you went to middle school with, high school with, he didn't get no play. He didn't get no business, he didn't get no pussy, he didn't get none of that. So now either he becomes more like future or the futures are the ones who actually get selected. And then the women turn 30 and like, we're all the sensitive niggas. I don't want no sensitive niggas, I can see that. But I'm saying is not necessarily sensitive, sensitive, but like we're all the good dudes, quote unquote. You selected them out of the market. You're right, you're right. I guess it's... And then we still get blamed for it. That's the crazy part. I mean, you definitely get blamed for it because I mean, ultimately it's like, to me those kids who didn't get any play, play back in the day-to-day, okay? It's confidence. It's not about, to me in my mind, it's not about your future, if you're a PhD, like none of that matters. Like as long as you're confident, it's A1, it don't matter who you are. What does it come from? With him, self-love. It's the love within self. And if you don't have self-love, then now you're out here looking like, dang man, these women like this or these women like that, it shouldn't matter. We noticed the lack of self-love. We have to be honest with ourselves. Self-love also has, we operate in communities. Self-love also has a lot to do with like, how you're viewed by the external world. It's easy. I think it has a lot to do with how you're raised. Absolutely, but it's easy to say, I love myself as a woman, or it's easier to say I love myself if you're attractive. It's easier to say I love myself as a man if you have money. It's harder to say external validation is a part of Maslow's hierarchy of needs. So we can't throw that away. No, I wouldn't throw it away. I guess it's like, cause when you make your point, you know, as a man, I can't love myself without, you know, instead of having money, but it depends on your level of what you want for yourself. If you're a frugal man and you're a minimalist, you really necessarily, it's not about money to you. You know what I'm saying? You wanna live life and live experiences. That's not true. I mean. Because, and this is why it's not true. What are the two things we say define masculinity? Two things. I mean, you're talking about like the whole general, protecting to provide. Protect to provide. So in order for me to provide, I have to have something. In order for me to protect, I have to be something. For yourself. You can't divorce those two things. Yeah, for myself and then for others. But you can't divorce those two things. So I'm encouraging men to first become the type of man you wanna be for yourself. Exactly. Before you can be somebody for somebody else. But at the same time, like this idea that you can still be confident and all that without becoming somebody. Oh yeah. It's not rooted in that thing. Well it's really becoming that somebody is you. Whoever you want to be. There isn't like, I don't believe, I don't believe people should be cookie, try to cookie cut themselves into what everybody else feels like or society feels like you should be. You know what I'm saying? What do you mean by that? I mean, I guess it just goes along with like just the point of, you know, the outside world influences your self love or your self identity. And I mean, it might be a little hint in there is more on the lines of I like that and I don't like that. Not necessarily it's like, they won't like me because of this or they won't like me because of that. I'm not gonna get this because of, because we're in 2022, you create your own world. I get that. So it's like now it's like, I mean, especially when it comes to relationships, there's so many different type of women and so many different type of men. It's like, if you just don't want it for yourself, that's the problem. Like it's to me, it's all like in stuff. I agree with that. I think the difference though is, men I think more than women, especially black men understand that life is a competition. And we understand that I could be as fast as I wanna be, but am I the fastest dude on my football team? Or am I in the top five? Like we're always constantly ranking ourselves. And the external world does it to us as well. Like even our girl would be like, Steven took his girl to Bora Bora. He only took me to Cancun. Like we have to deal with that constantly. When he says you knew I wanted to go to Bora Bora, why would I go to Cancun? But see, my point is that external stuff. You should say a little bit extra money if you're going to Bora Bora. That external stuff is important. Now let's transition, cause you just made a good point. Why do you think our women in particular put so much pressure on the black man? And I'll give you, I'll give you an example of what I mean. So one of our, you know, interviewees, his name's Poetic Styles on Instagram. He said that the current attitude for women, and I think probably more so in your city, Atlanta, Georgia, is one of, if you don't make six figures, you ain't shit as a man. And we are comparing ourselves and women are comparing men to the highlight tapes of 1% men. So why do you think that is and do you feel like it's a problem? I don't think it's a problem because we're trans, I guess we're so transcending into that wealth, the life of wealth now, where it's not, I wouldn't say easier, but it's given to us in a simple manner, it's easy, but simple. People are really becoming millionaires overnight. And as far as women, if we want to elevate ourselves and our men don't want to elevate themselves, then where does that leave us? Lonely, alone. But if we, I hate that men just take it so like, like, especially when B. Simone had came out and she was on like, I don't, you know, I don't want no nine to five men. I want someone who's an entrepreneur. I want, you know, I want a boss. And it was like, why, and men were so raw about it like, hey man, don't know if I want her anyway, but why isn't that y'all telling men, if y'all want her, then that's what y'all need to do. At the end of the day, why wouldn't you want to uplift yourself to be on some type of level that they want? Cause clearly, I mean, you want her. So how are you complaining? Cause that's what she desires or that's what she expects for herself because for herself, that's what she's doing. It's different if there's women out here who really ain't doing nothing. Like, you know what I'm saying? Chasing on goals, on dreams, on nothing, they just walking around Walmart and the warehouse. I want a man with six beers on a Birkenbeck. How? But those are, those exist too. And I would say this. Well, of course. Most of the women who want the man, the 1% men are the women you just described. Really? Absolutely. That's interesting. What do you think? I guess cause I don't hang around those type of women. Well, but like, okay, let's talk. Cause I can understand the women that I hang around, you know what I'm saying? I'm ambitious. So it's like it only makes sense, you know what I'm saying? Because at the end of the day, I'ma get it with or without a man cause I have no choice. What do you think the average salary of a black woman is in America? Just give me a number. All part. Probably say about 40? 30 something. What do you think the average salary of a black man is? 50. 40 something. The reason I think that's important, I think, you know, men have to deal with statistics more so than women. I think a lot of times the measuring stick that women compares to are unrealistic unsustainable ideals. So if you go on Instagram, you'll think that there are a bunch of millionaires and six-figure niggas running around here. The reality isn't the case. I don't know for sure. And especially, I think what happens too with our women, they know how to play the part, right? So you'll have a woman, for instance, she has a master's degree. And unfortunately, a lot of our women fall into this category. She has a master's degree. She only makes $50,000 a year, but she has six figures of debt and she expects a high-value man. Or you have a woman who, she has a PhD, you know what I'm saying? She's disagreeable. She's not a pleasant person to be around, but she expects a 1% man. So I think the problem becomes when women are looking down on the men that they qualify for and they think the men that are out of their league are the men that they qualify for. I don't think necessarily they look down upon them. I just feel like more so they expect more from them. Why? And why not? Why shouldn't me, as a person, I guess it's because she's expecting more for herself. I'm not speaking on a lady to speak to a worker at Walmart. You know what I'm saying? I don't know them. But I'm saying for those ambitious women who are actually going out doing for themselves and granted things happen in life, but at the end of the day, it's like I see myself there one day, but I think it's all a mentality thing. I don't necessarily think it's like, just because you're making this much money, that's you content with that making that much money. That's the problem. What's wrong with that? There's nothing wrong with it when it's for you. I'm just not the one for you. And there's no problem with that. That's what it's like, dang, it's like how, you know, it's kind of with the whole homosexual and heterosexual, like homosexuality is so raw, raw, raw, but when men are straight men, they just want to say straight pride. They want to be confident in just, now we at that point where it's like, dang, I'm a man. Adele just went on her award show and just said, I'm proud to be a woman. And it was mad about that. So it's like... I think the reason it's even a conversation is because if it was one offs, right? If it was like, you know, one in every 10 women wants a high value man and they feel like, you know, you should want more of this than that, that would be fine. The problem is, especially in our community, eight, nine out of 10 women don't think you're doing enough ever. And they feel like they're deserving of 1% dues because, and this is a good point that he made in the last video. He said that we have been socialized to compare ourselves to the highlight tapes of the 1%. Not just the 1%, but also their highlight tapes. So what it creates is average people don't think they're average and they don't think they deserve average people when the reality, most people are average. But what is average? It depends on what you're using. Are we using salary? Right. A lot of women are making the average amount, but they feel like because of my ambition and this and that, I'm not average. And it's like, you refuse to quantify things. That's the problem. A lot of women refuse to quantify things. So I'm not average because I feel like I'm not average. Even though all the metrics say I am. Okay. Is that a problem? I wouldn't say it's a problem, but it's like, I guess it's who made the metrics. If I walk outside and 10, 20, 30 people, everybody I come in contact with me, the conversation isn't on, is it really am I just average? Am I above average? Because I'm in that situation, in that environment, but I would be average if I go sit with some millionaires. You know what I'm saying? Even though I'm ambitions, technically I'm average to them because I don't make as much money, but our minds are the same. So who really makes the metrics to say who average or who not? To me, it's like really conversation. Numbers, numbers, numbers. See, I base my averageness on conversation. Cause it's like, if you don't have enough, if you don't even, if you're nine to five, you know, we're nine to five working and you don't even want to have experiences or grow and learn, then you're average to me. No matter how much money you got, cause you could be making $150,000 as a tech person. Now you do it, you're 20% of your money, come on. It's bigger than money. And the reason I say that for men, and we understand this, I can, so I played football that high school. I was a quarterback, right? One of the reasons I messed up my knee is cause I took it upon myself to go work out with the linemen, with the big boys, right? So I can talk, that linemen talk. I can converse with them the whole nine. But can I squat 500 pounds? Did you know you can squat 500 pounds? I couldn't squat 500 pounds. But you knew that before you decided you wanted to squat 500 pounds? No, but my point is I can talk the talk of somebody who can, but at the end of the day, can I perform? You could, if you talk, they talk, and then you see what they're doing, and then you go ahead and you learn how to do what they do. I can't, I was 180 pounds. I mean, you could, listen, if you were, are you gonna do it starting slow? Okay, let's do it at a time. That's not my point. Listen, I get, listen, I know your, I get your point, of course, but my whole thing is really, it's genuinely like, yeah, you mean, that don't mean you can make you a lineman either. You just can squat 500 pounds. You know what I mean? You a quarterback. You feel me? You know how I move. They can't move like how you move. The talk doesn't mean anything. If I think I'm a high value, and you know, as much as we talk about Kevin Sanders, one of the things I do appreciate about him, not about what he talks about with women, but with men, he says you might think you're the shit as a dude. What do the numbers say? How many zeros on your bank account? What kind of job do you have? What is your social circle comprised of? Because until then, we hadn't really been putting people's feet to the fire. We hadn't been putting people, you know what I'm saying, next to a measuring stick. So can you be a good person? Yes. But in order to enter this club of high value, whatever the case might be, you must make six figures. And if you don't make six figures, you could think all you want that you're high value, but like we have to put numbers to things. Why do you think women don't like putting numbers to things? Or do you think it's not a woman thing? I mean, technically, women do put numbers to things if they expect you to make a certain amount. But they don't know how many, like what percentage of men are going to make that amount. Oh, we're not gonna go statistics at all. Why not though? Because if we're really going statistics, then it's like one of, I mean, the ratio for men to women is way astronomical. So it's like, why are we even talking about it? Because in reality, it's gonna be, I mean, if the ratio is like one to 22, it's gonna be 21 with nobody. So what are we really talking about? But you know the problem though is? What? And I've seen this. And that's not even one. We might not, we might get half of one. We never even know. You know what I'm saying? And I've seen this happen. So a friend of mine, he's between like 6'6, 6'8, 320 pounds. He didn't go to the NFL, but he's got his master's degree. He makes six figures, makes good money. Smart dude, interesting dude, well traveled the whole night. And he was telling me that his ex-girlfriend treated him like he was a regular dude. She didn't do the math to understand how astronomically rare he was. So she could never really appreciate him. Right. So the problem of a lot of our women doing this is even when they get that 1% man, they treat him like every other dude. And it's like, why would he stick around? So you guys get hurt in the long run. Oh, 100% because we don't have no examples.