 Hello and welcome back to yet another half term GCSE revision lesson where I'll be showing you how to write the perfect creative writing model response in five paragraphs to the June 2020 past paper exam. More specifically, I'll be showing you how to specifically answer the creative story question in this particular paper. Okay, the question is write a story about an event that cannot be explained. So I'll be walking you through how to write a grade nine response in just five paragraphs. So let's get started. So when it comes to the creative writing portion of the GCSE English language paper one exam, and of course, I'm going to be looking at the June 2020 exam and showing you a model response for that. Of this one hour 45 minutes, you should allocate yourself roughly 50 minutes to this portion of the exam. Okay. And as I mentioned, I'm going to be approaching the story writing question using the story mountain structure. Remember, there's five steps and five parts to story mountain. You start off with the beginning. We introduced the setting and the character you build up is where the character and box and the adventure. Your problem paragraph this program number three is the obstacle that they face your resolution paragraph paragraph number four is how they get away from this problem if it overcomes them. And then your final ending paragraph is either, you know, did they get back safely? Or for example, is there a cliffhanger or do they get overcome by this issue? And as I mentioned, I'm going to be approaching this particular question that came up in the 2020 exam where you're asked to write a story about an event that cannot be explained. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to walk you through a response that I've already prepared. And more specifically, how you can put together and craft a really, really powerful grade nine response to this particular question using the story mountain structure and just simply writing five separate paragraphs where you make your story really descriptive, really vivid. Remember that you want to be using ambitious language, ambitious vocabulary, things like language techniques, including alliteration, similes, metaphors, but also a mix of long, short sentences and where you can also rhetorical questions. So as I mentioned, the question I've decided to go for in the June 2020 exam is this second question. You always get a choice of a descriptive or a story question. I've decided to go for the story question. So you're asked to write a story about an event that cannot be explained. I'm going to start off with my beginning paragraph, paragraph number one, and I'll walk you through it. And I'll of course read through how I put that together. And hopefully as I'm reading through it, you're making a note of the ambitious language, ambitious vocabulary and seeing how all of that works together to really build a really vivid image within my reader's mind. So here's my introduction paragraph or rather my beginning paragraph. I glanced up at the brooding sky. The gray clouds glumly covered the skies above. It was my first day on vacation in what should have been a sunny paradise. Yet it seemed like a tempestuous hell. It was unseasonably rainy for the Maldives. My heart sank as I clutched onto my turquoise kayak, pondering the afternoon ahead. Should I test my luck? My toes sank into the porcelain sand, which gently massaged my toes. Tiny granules slithered and rested in my feet. As you can see here, what I've done from the opening. I've added really, really powerful adjectives. The sky is brooding. Also if the sky is brooding, it means it's moody and I'm personifying the sky. Equally, I've used a mix of oxymorons, right? It's supposed to be a paradise, but it's a hell. And even the idea that it's a paradise, I'm using hyperbole. Hopefully you should have also noticed that I've added rhetorical questions and a mix of long and short sentences, all of which not only am I establishing a sense of setting, but I've also established that me as the main character. I'm in a place called the Maldives, and I'm on holiday, but I'm kind of thinking, hmm, what's happening? Okay, so of course, I'm looking, you know, around wondering what's going to be happening. I'm pondering, I'm wondering. So now here's my second buildup paragraph. Heaving my paperweight kayak onto the saltwater. I gazed up at the sky and muttered a silent prayer. Looking down, I gazed at my minute boat, which bobbed up and down expectantly. Inhaling deeply, I squeezed into my seat and paddled forward. Nothing would stop me. Not even malignant weather. I felt a heady feeling of adventure as I dipped my oars into the dark misty depths of the ocean. The water relented, the sea lapped and gently licked the sides of my kayak. A sliver of white light shone through the coral colored clouds. Was this a sign that things would be well? I grinned as I gained speed paddling forward into the vast and open ocean. Once more, here is my buildup paragraph. I'm going on this adventure. Okay, so beginning paragraph, I'm saying it looks really great. It looks really negative. But do you know what? In my buildup paragraph, I'm basically saying I still decide I'm on holiday, so I'm just going to go and paddle out into this ocean. Okay. And of course, already, maybe my reader should be thinking, oh, that's not a great idea to go out into the ocean with a little tiny boat paddling because you could get caught up in the storm. Okay. But of course, this is a story. I'm trying to make it interesting. I'm trying to introduce some kind of conflict. Now, here's my problem paragraph. Venturing further and further into the sea, my heart leapt as I gazed ahead. The ocean's waves welcomed me as they swished and swayed into my solitary kayak along my eyes widened as I noticed a long formation of caves ahead of me. My oars dipped and dipped into the dark depths of the sea as I quickly traversed the distance towards the caves. Jagged rocks jotted out of the entrance of the largest cave. I glimpsed a golden light inside, which beckoned me. Venturing into the cave are glanced and gazed around. My eyes were drawn to stalagmites, which hung from its high ceiling. My heart raced. I knew it was risky to go so far into the cave. Yeah, the golden light which gilded the furthest edge of the cave was irresistible. Stalagmites are basically formations that are formed at the top or the ceiling of a cave or a place that's like really damp. As you can see here, I'm using lots and lots of ambitious language, ambitious vocabulary, but also creating a sense of anticipation. Now I'm putting myself in a bit of danger as I enter this cave. As you can see, what I'm also doing is I'm using a lot of pathetic fallacy to create a sense of mood and a sense of atmosphere. It's dark. However, the waves, even if it's dark, the waves are welcoming me and telling me to go into this cave, which I do. Okay, so I traverse it. I cross and enter this cave. And this cave seems to be gilded with a little bit of light. Okay, so inside this cave, there's this golden light which is covering it in this golden color. Now this is my fourth resolution paragraph. As I waded deeper and deeper into the cave, I heard a cracking thunderous boom. A storm was brewing. Pathetic fallacy. I looked back at the mouth of the cave. Should I go further? Paddling and paddling in. An irresistible inexplicable force pulled and tugged me forward. It was as if an invisible rope was pulling me into the cave. My heart thumped. The water around me grew choppy and rested. My kayak danced and swayed. Should I do this? No. I had to get out. So now here, what I'm realizing is it's actually a really bad idea. And as you can see, I'm using a mix of long and short sentences, but also every so often, you want to also use one word sentences or rather one word minus sentences, which change the pace, right? So it really focuses in your reader's attention. Also, another thing, and this is a really powerful literature device to use in your writing. When you ask a question, for instance, my kayak danced, should I do this? That's a question, rhetorical question. And then I immediately answer it. This is what we call hyperfora, another really powerful structural technique. Now, this is my ending paragraph, my fifth and final paragraph. The watery path leading out of the cave was narrow. I strained and struggled to turn my kayak around. The cave's jagged walls and the ocean's forceful waves seemed to stop me. Why couldn't I leave? Sweat formed around my temples, my pupils dilated, my breath left my body in short rasps. I had to leave. Where was my escape? The glimmering light suddenly snuffed out. Engulfed in complete darkness, my heart sank. The ocean grew tempestuous, which means violent as my kayak rocked violently. Just then a gargantuan wave swept into the cave, pushing me in. I shrieked as I clutched onto the sides of my helpless boat. It felt like flimsy paper in the face of a malicious mother nature. Yet another wave of oily black water swept in, then another and another. Suddenly, there were vibrations. I turned towards the mouth of the cave. Just as I turned, I witnessed a vast boulder bounding towards me. It looked like an enormous whale. A large wave swept forwards, carrying the colossal border. My body tensed as it crashed into the mouth of the cave. It was sealed shut. I was in complete darkness. How did this happen? So now I've finished off with a cliff hanger. I'm now trapped inside this cave. There's this boulder that's come in. It's bounded forward. And of course, again, what I've done, especially to echo the you know, the waves that are moving over and over again, I've used a series of short simple sentences before then a really long sentence to describe how the boulder kind of comes in and then blocks me inside the cave. And of course, I've ended this story on a really, really powerful cliff hanger. So hopefully you've noticed as I've been reading through this grade nine response that I've used a mix of lots of different techniques throughout each paragraph. Starting off with things like pathetic fallacy, similes, metaphors, as well as alliteration. Of course, if you missed any of those, I also just remind this video, go back over it and then have a look and try to apply this story to your own story. Try to memorize some of these phrases. And of course, thank you so much for listening. And I hope you learned something new.