 Your coca-cola bottler presents Claudia Claudia based on the original stories by rose franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself Have a Coke and now Claudia Birthday to you, too Why shouldn't I wish you a happy birthday? You're the one who did everything about it not me I just got born. Yes, of course. I feel much older. He's shaving No, he hasn't said a thing about it yet Yes, I'll be over after breakfast. We can take my walk together Big doctor roll and wanted to make a marathon dancer instead of a mother. Bye That was mama No, not exactly. She just wanted to know how I was How are you fine? Don't you know yet, I'm always fine. I don't know if you don't look like you. I don't you look a little older I don't know why I should do you I Guess that's going to become apparent gives you a certain maturity Well, you don't look any older to me. How can you tell? You can't see through the lather on my face. Well, so long. I'd better finish shaving Hey, don't I get anything before you go? What for? Because I'm always fine and I look older. What do you want a razor blade? Maybe maybe but I don't think so some lather Maybe haven't you got anything else at all a kiss maybe Sounds interesting. I think you'd prefer it without the lather when I'm all shaved and pretty. I close my eyes anyway now Wipe off the lather you wipe it off. You're the one who put it there. I haven't got time. This is a very important day It is I'm having lunch with my new partner. Oh is that all? It's still an occasion. That's where I feel about you. Good. Let me see. There was something else Something very important. I had to remember about Dana forgotten what it is. Maybe I can help you remember December 29 December 29 Four days after Christmas two days after New Year's. Oh, sure sure. I remember this is the day I want to send that pair of tweed slacks to the cleaner. Oh It might interest you to know this is important day for me to I'm turning over a new leaf What's the leaf I'm making breakfast right now for myself if there's anything left over. I'm giving it to Shakespeare What about me? Well if Shakespeare leaves any leftovers you can nibble on that But you better be nice to him or he won't leave you anything. What have I done now? You don't know that's worse. That's how bad it is. Well, I hope Shakespeare isn't very hungry I hope he's starving Claudia It would be nice if you waited for the light. What light? Oh that light I didn't see it. I'm glad the man in the truck saw you. Mmm. So am I What's a fine walk they're having? What's the matter with it? What we think you were planning to give birth in Egypt. You've been as talkative as an expectant mummy I haven't anything to talk about much. Come on out with it What did you quarrel about with David this morning? I did not quarrel with David Then what did he quarrel about with you? He didn't either. We never quarrel. Now we are getting some place What didn't he give you for your birthday? Nothing. Oh So that's it. I thought so. What's wrong with not giving me anything? Did I say it was wrong? David and I don't have to give each other presents just because it's our birthday You said that yesterday very sensible I don't need anything I Wouldn't like to put a great dain on a silver platter under your nose. I don't want a great dain anymore much Mama if you could bark you'd be almost as nice to walk with is a great dain. I can't tell you how happy that makes me Why do you look so blunt? Do I look plum? There's a mild resemblance between you and the weeping willow mama David didn't remember my birthday at all Not even to wish it. Hmm. Oh that happens David's got a lot of things on his mind. He's got one thing too few I guess he just plain forgot. I thought you were emancipated. I thought birthdays weren't important to you They're still not to me But if David's forgotten and then later remembers and realizes he's forgotten He'd feel awful and that would make it important the voice of experience So you mustn't say anything to him about my birthday We'll pretend it never happened you poor child come on home and I'll feed you you better come home with me What have you got? Nothing. Let's stop somewhere and get something. Tell me does Shakespeare like Frank butters. He hasn't said so. That's fine because I do in Scandinavian friend you're big and strong. Why can't you be silent too and none of your complaints see You're going to live on this floor and you better begin to like it Quiet old-timer Do you expect to surprise her making all this racket now? Now here we are Now this is the door to your new home. You stay out here. I'm not going to take you in right away. You get it That's better. Now take a look take a good look at this door because from now on your job is to keep clear of the wool All right now. I'm just going to slip this leash around the door knob and There we are in I go and you stay out there now shh and quiet Hello, hello anybody home Who wants to know a man who wants to know that wants to talk to the lady of the house wants to know The lady of this house won't talk to just anyone But maybe you aren't just anyone you could be my husband Except my husband's having lunch with his partner and I'm having lunch with my partner the partner I live with I hear Doesn't that husband of yours ever do any work? Are you here again mother here? I'm waiting to be fed I suppose you came just to take the frankfurt is out of my mouth. I did not I came because I took a good look at my shirt You'd better change laundry's there's a memo on it. I wrote myself two weeks ago. What's it saying? It says today's somebody's birthday. Who's I wonder mother is it yours one birthday this year is enough I'll ask him. Maybe we better eat if you ask me come on David I'll take care of you. Let Claudia talk to her cat. Thanks mother. Leave me right to the table A fine birthday lunch they are you don't even know who's birthday. It doesn't matter who they're still frankfurt is Second time what second time I've heard a dog barking. Well, I didn't hear anything Mother did you hear anything? I didn't you must have heard it There I heard it again. Do you have ringing in your ears, too? Mother. Did you hear anything? I think I did hear something. It was a dog barking Well, well these are hot dogs. We're eating these aren't talking hot dogs There Didn't he sound as if he's upstairs or downstairs? Maybe he's on our doorstep. Honestly David Sometimes you talk such nonsense People don't go around leaving their dogs on other people's doorstep. All right. All right. Have it your way Well, well Since he's not ours, I guess we'll just have to let him bar. Thank goodness. I don't live here Aren't you even going to look for him? No, why should I he's not ours? No, I didn't realize you had such respect for other people's property. I do David whoever he belongs to it isn't treating him right. He's probably hungry. He smells these frankfritters Wouldn't hurt if I open the door and took a little peek at it. No, I don't see why that's you hurt Now caught he be careful. Don't open the door too wide. I'm honest If he looks nice introduce me Well, darling, what kind of a dog is it not a great day the feeling seems to be mutual I guess he's smarter than he looks Looks like the same dog Where they left him that reminds me I just remembered whose birthday it is Who did whose birthday is it doggy is not Shakespeare's not Mama's is it yours David? Well in a way mine in a very special way what way well in the way that if it weren't somebody else's Mine wouldn't matter very much. Oh David That's very sweet of you And I wasted all that sympathy on you because I thought you'd forgotten If I had why would I be needing sympathy because I knew how you'd feel when you remembered Darling that wasn't wasted You Don't you dare you'll be biting off more than you could chew Now come on in like mr. Flannery's dog. No wonder he is mr. Flannery's dog You can just call me Kelly Give me a She can go so crazy about a dog What's going to happen to her when she has a baby? Don't worry mother the baby won't be half as big as this dog You've made a very happy David. Oh, and I don't mean just this birthday present and you've made me very happy mother because Claudia once had a birthday Well go ahead beat him beat him by all means Here you are darling Would you take lunch right out of this beautiful dog's mouth? Well here you are Hey, hey there take it easy one at a time one at a time boy You're a monster leave one for me. Just one, please I should say just offhand. I think I'd say no well he said he thinks yes I Look at him. Here's your old Frankford. What's left? Thank you very much. Well, how's that? Now now you come here, how would you like another friend for dear? Well that takes care of that No lunch for Mrs. Brown. I think how lucky you are mama. I'd like to know why Because now you won't have to learn how to buy this broadcast of Claudia was supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney Ask junior to go on an ordinary errand and you're greeted with indifference or even sometimes an out-and-out No, but mention that he's to bring home a carton of coke and that's a different story Same with dad. He'll have the service station attendant put a case of coke in the car when he won't stop for lots of other things They know what they like that family of yours and they certainly do like ice-cold coca-cola Why not get the New Year's Eve supply today? Every day Monday through Friday audio comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola So listen again tomorrow at the same time And now this is joking saying or live wire and remember Whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be When you think of refreshment think of coca-cola or ice-cold coca-cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes