 Salam alaykum dear viewers, peace be upon you all, welcome to our show discussing the different aspects that we can learn from the Day of Ashura. Today's topic is of the vital institution of marriage in Islam. It's amongst human nature to want to have a partner and to create and to spend their life sharing it with another person. Islam emphasises this very much so as with other teachings. On the Day of Ashura there were several deaths taking place. One of the things we sometimes neglect is that the topic of marriage was brought up in Ashura. To discuss this topic we're going to have our esteemed guest Sheikh Ali Masha. We've got Sayed Mohsin Shah, we've got Imran Dado and brother Dahir Adil. Sheikh before we get into how marriage was maybe shown in Ashura through the figure of perhaps Qasim ibn al-Hassan. Why does Islam emphasise getting married versus having a monastic life or being a monk where one can dedicate themselves to God purely through an individual way? Why with another person? In one of the narrations about marriage we have that it states that one of the best establishments in Islam is the establishment of marriage. One of the best in which the Islam has since it was established in Medina 14 centuries ago that when the Holy Prophet ﷺ came to Medina he tried to overcome the issue of being single and those who for example didn't have any means of financial support or in other words they were poor he would offer them marriage. And of course the narration the prophetic narration states that man tazawwaja faqat ahraza nasfah deenah the one who gets married he has achieved attained half of his religion half of his belief then let him or her protect herself or himself on the second half of his religion which is in terms of aqidah and so forth. So you can see how important marriage is that the Islam causes half of the religion and today in the world stay in age we see that the crimes you know atrocities for example those who commit these crimes just recently in the U.S. the shootings killing innocent people in their shopping malls and markets and schools and so forth it was done by young men under the age of 25 and were single seems to be the majority so marriage offers protection immunity from the mischief and wrong doings in all aspects of life be it adultery be it crime be it financial for example fraud and so forth it provides that immunity that individual would not even think about doing something wrong unless there's exceptions for some who would for example go to the wrong path but in overall it brings full protection for the individual in another hadith from al-sadaq that encourages marriage he says that two rak'a a married person a praise is greater than 70 rak'a a single praise so imagine the one who prays while he's married gets more reward than a single person who has no wife or wife's personal husband by praying 70 those two rak'a for married would be more than 70 rak'a of the non-married so this is the greatness of Islam that protects the individual as a whole not just as a single person but as a family thank you um say the most in good discussing uh earlier off the camera the idea of um Ghassan ibn al-Hassan um and as i mentioned in the intro when we look at al-shura there are several things obviously many deaths took place and the topic of marriage you don't think ever comes up in this story because we focus on the way um the people died and the brotherhood shown and and so on and so forth and there's been i've never knew Ghassan was possibly married or going to get married um have you did you have you ever heard of this and did you ever come across any such such yes i mean um when i was growing up um we were under the impression that uh well i was under the impression that Ghassan didn't get married however recently a couple years ago i've had the discussions i mean discussion circles and there is some evidence to say that no he was married personally i don't think it's important to me i don't think it's important whether he was married or not married what is important is that his mother wanted him married and his mother was insistent that he should be married uh you know before he goes for battle um so there is some sort of importance put on you know marriage and importance on the man's status when he's married and then for a man if he is to die to die a married man um maybe it was some may argue always just his mother's dream that he'd be married and he was of the age but we know also he was very young he was you know uh you know he didn't even have a full beard probably what 13 14 maybe uh so he also shows that what age one should be getting married and i think there's a lot of Islamic values in Ashura marriage is one of them and also another one is also Salah that war was stopped for Salah as well yeah so there's many many you know uh practices and and many many ideas and we could take from Ashura differently as a as custom as you mentioned was was was a youth and when we at this age of 13 slash 14 we always look towards the future towards what is our family life going to be like when i get married when i have kids and so on and so with god god all these blessings but Qasim seemed to abandon that he said that famous phrase that death is sweeter than honey in in the way of imam um how does Qasim show um brother Tahir and brother Imran how does Qasim show the idea of putting desires to one side and obeying your imam is is is above my desires i think that's specific age and as as boys and teenagers we want to walk through that phase of being distracted by the world and not really focusing on your deen your faith your piety and what not so when you have that example of Qasim and the way he prioritized not even his religion death of death itself on top of the desire not even desire as in the wildly uh distractions it gives examples for the youth and not just youth but adults as well and that age right i think of it i know person that age thinks of death they think of prolonging their life as much as possible and uh having the aspirations yet he says that what about you brother Imran yeah i mean i think just uh mirroring what brother Tahir said that it just shows the the taqwa he had the yakeen he has um has Qasim has in his faith that um you know whatever the imam said at the time whatever it said that is the dual and end all you know you just kind of ignore everything that you need and you know it's a lot easier said than done we're saying it now like so easily like yeah Shah Qasim just put his desires to one side put the world the affairs to one side and he went to die but it's you know like you know we hear a lot of even in the the maulanas and the lecturers they say what if we were there in Karbala what would genuinely what would we do it's a hard one it's extremely difficult extremely difficult to then say oh yeah yeah you know i'll just go to die it's not like that you need to have a certain level of taqwa a certain level of yakeen in your faith in your religion in your lord to know that you know this is what will satisfy you this is what will satisfy your soul so and that that's what as Qasim displays and it's it's um very admirable to actually that that question starting it's not just that's the maturity element to it absolutely yeah when growing up our fathers would be like you know let him play with the e-ports let him enjoy his life by that point he was thinking of things far greater than things that were eternal one doesn't child even look at yeah something that's bigger than himself at that age it's beyond imagination yeah a stripe of that mature yeah i think that the point you made about asking ourselves the question would i be there it's actually a very uncomfortable question um it actually makes you humble yourself and it's quite a scary question if you ask yourself but truly truly it's very easy to say in retrospect what would you what would you do back then and shake i want to um just extract a point that you said that you said that perhaps getting married safeguards you from other evils not just um illegitimate acts regarding marriage but stuff around that why does islam say that doing an act of worship is better when you're sharing it with another person versus the single person because surely if i'm you i'm just putting it out there surely if i'm single i can concentrate more on my relationship with god if i add another person to the to the equation if i can say that surely that makes it even more difficult or why does islam oppose this you see the life of the singles i'm sure you went through this situation in your youth teenage and and so forth onwards it's a bit awkward it's an unstable stage of life you know there are a lot of temptations lost a lot of attractions around especially with today's social media satellites tv and so forth that promotes indecency promotes images and films and so forth so if that youth or that individual single man or woman would be exposed to these indecencies now the blood they would have now you know the consequence would be very i mean grave so with regard to the marriage it protects immune from the first day so that teenager or that youth that man or woman won't think about anything else except to build their life and to keep it going on so they won't be looking at the let's say images or videos and so forth just to quench their desires so that's why you see that encouragement is for the marriage and even the prophet sallallahu alayhi wa la ilah he said and the marriage is my sunnah and the one who neglects or rejects it then he's not part of me alaysa minni is not part of my nation so imagine how emphasizing on the marriage just avoid the fact of corruption and deviation within the moral aspect thank you we'll talk more about this in the next part but as per the format of the show we are going to break for a bit of poetry regarding this phenomenal figure although youth a phenomenal huge figure of qasem ibn al-hassan by brother tyre so this poem about qasem it's quite different it follows him it's like a time i've followed him throughout the day of ashura and up until his martyrdom so it starts with him being faced with a letter written by his father goes ink forming letters and words forming tears that once unfolded from under the fingertips of my father i need not read the words to understand if i have understood enough through the eyes of hosay beneath these hidden stars i declare my uncle and master to me and what is death to me but sweeter than honey warmer than the embrace of sunlight and the testimony of the beauty of the night my death is molded on the waves of sacrifice sacrificed my life young but an endless sea in its message so when qasem approaches his uncle he says i heard a tremor in his voice i felt a shiver in his embrace my uncle's sorrowful words have flooded my heart sure his eyes as heavy as clouds today waiting to spill away he welcomed me back into his arm then i remembered your warmth but what embrace would bury my wounds later but the swords timeless counted visions soar about in my mind images painted pictures of my legacy perfectly but none could picture leaving my mother behind what greater parting gift i could extend to her broken hearts than the gift of youthful sacrifice this next passage is about his martyrdom the far horizon of paradise stretches and merges with the redness the angels fluck and compete to call me by my father's name i pride in pride i march forth with armor once adorned by him i'm now ready to fill the many corners of his bleeding heart today hosay's name will not only be the only one sung by the angels hasan el muchtaba will be sung through me and my wounds this honor that i have been seeking lies in the heart of death i shall earn it despite my fragile frame and young age i am a student of hosayne in the art of martyrdom painting an eternal message with an endless sea of love the tide of death comes waning before my eyes as the moon of karbala brings you to me tonight i lay underneath the sky returning the letter to your father written with love and sent with the swords and spears for who am i to sleep eternally like this for i am the son of the fourth of five purified forms ready to lay my life for the stand of the fifth i am the son of the purified ready to sacrifice myself for the pure death why do you kneel kneel down before me gracefully death why do you kneel down before me gracefully for do i remind you of my father or does my father remind you of me shubhan Allah thank you very very powerful thank you moving the discussion forward i think the obviously the big i would say elephant in the room that's always said um in the muslim community is getting married young um we we are told it on the pulpit we are told it by our families sometimes and obviously the word young is relative to you know the time to age to to different communities and cultures um but i want to ask uh say muslim and and the other members of of the panel um why why is it nowadays may do i have to get married young um surely times have changed life is busier and for many people it's hard now to find a spouse because life is very very busy and why is it uh why does islam emphasize marriage young marriage when perhaps it's harder today i think i wasn't looking towards that so i'm going to take this on ask the married man um no so i think um like you said the time is a big factor so you know you see in history with um you know as al-qasim like we said it was so young but that was at that time it was the norm um you know fast forward to 2019 uh we find that yeah people do ask that question do i need to get married young um but there are so many factors that they now have to consider for example um you know the expenses in life you know you want to have a house you want to have a stable job to look after your spouse etc etc so you have to take that into consideration you have to take um and like you said even spouse selection now becomes so tricky because everything's so online and everything you know even um you know there's shia matches shia match websites as well if i'm not mistaken so everything's gone so online that and it and it's following the trend of society that's what we're doing so i think um even though our traditional methods are good like you know like recommending family map people know each other they say these two would be good together yeah etc etc but following the trend every you know that kind of method is being you know it it goes to say oh it's too awkward you know we don't we can maybe avoid this kind of method etc etc so you know that trend is being followed as well which potentially um you know delays that marriage when necessarily it shouldn't you should kind of embrace it like you said it's a sunnah for us all and it's the marriage has a very high status sometimes i think now that again through society we lower the rank of marriage that oh you know even um the engagement period like in some cultures like with us we have that period of engagement and sometimes that lasts for a couple of years and it's like you know get it done this right to avoid coming too much sin etc and i think one thing i noticed as well we we were we're focusing a lot on how it marriage protects um us from committing sin which absolutely it does but we also have to know that um together one of the main aims of marriage is to get closer to Allah that is something you also have to achieve um one of the aims of marriages to kind of find a spouse who will get you closer to Allah swt get that takhwa stronger whether it's through a different aamal for example i mean my own example i had like a weakness um and you know alhamdulillah my spouse is she helped me with this too you know it's something small but it does help it does help in your faith um so it's it's it's important to know that um you know even though it protects you from the sins and it does also help you get closer to god and getting married young is when you and in the young age you do tend to commit the most sin so it's um it's and you know now also nowadays actually you see a lot of people with society not being too attached to any religion we go to colleagues and stuff you know a lot of people are atheists now they're like what's god so you know to kind of get you back on that track to strengthen your iman it's another a good reason to get married young but yeah there are a lot of factors that are in 2019 now where the reasons why marriage is delayed i mean i mean tahir looking at the we age is one thing what's the importance of being ready though and readiness i think you can't really be ready for marriage at any point so i got married really young uh was never really ready i'll probably i'll be not ready now uh but i could see the argument of should you get married at young age or should you wait until you're more stable financially stable more mature uh and then get married uh or until you find the right person sometimes it's not about maturity it's about finding that person that's compatible with you uh so i i'm from the school of thought of get married if you find that right person even if it's a struggles financially still get married um i know it's uh it's a hard point to engulf for some people as in you know how can you get married when you're so young but you know we've got examples out there through scripture and around the verses where you know if you do have the right intentions then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala does help you yeah uh so being ready i think that's a subjective uh element here because you're not really ready i'm going to tiptoe just in case my wife is back at home uh but you've also got the mental health aspect so yeah like uh chef uh the chef mentioned safeguarding is one thing safeguarding from the obvious uh but marriage also safeguards you from a lot of mental health issues and that's uh uh that's been you know vanted around a lot now uh so you know having that peace and tranquility at home having another person to you know relay problems relay opinion do you think that if you get married a little later yeah you kind of miss out on the adventure and so growth yeah and yeah so i've i don't i've got anecdotal experience of growing up with my spouse because we're both relatively young uh and that's kind of strengthened up on but you also have you know on the on the flip side of coin is uh you marry somebody that's compatible with the sorry you know set up and mature in that and yeah so the argument works both ways but yeah that element of growing up the adventure of growing up is certainly something that very relative yeah it's very relative and i suppose it is finding the right it's not like shopping you have to find the right person so it's a mistake you want to make um before you wrap up the show with the utility shake i want to just uh go back to carvalar because i mentioned at the start of the show um and in the indopak community we uh when we hear the the the mucktl of of ashura we are told there was a desire for kasm to get married from his mother but not that she was actually married but then there are some um historical reports of him perhaps marrying sokena just before the marriage can you shed light upon this uh the historical aspect of ashura yes basically there is a difference in opinions of the allama of the regard to the this event particularly that did the marriage took place oh no um some allama would mention in their books such as allama darbandi he mentions that such event took place and it was just the akad contract the marriage nikah contract it wasn't wedding and ceremony and and so forth it's just the contract and by itself in in sharia it's mustahab to have this contract to be done between a boy and a girl even if they're young it's mustahab and uh of course those who reject basically because of uh you know the the actual uh some might argue that for example you know he was too young how could you have a marriage contract and especially in in war zone for example but ashura is exception and anything took place in ashura was exceptional and even this marriage contract that took place was exceptional it was a message to our youth that get married don't neglect the issue of marriage otherwise we see today in our society i don't want to speak about it i'm sure you know you've seen things happen and especially the issue of um of divorce which has a background before marriage you know uh relationships between the the immoral in terms of immoral relation with via the facebook or twitter and so forth social media that's why it ends up with divorce um but anyhow we have ulama who uh accept the issue of uh or the um the story of the uh the marriage and of course um as i've mentioned the message from ashura or from al-qaas i think i've mentioned two messages from him salam alayhi that's number one bravery that i mean he was 30 and he fought like a brave man the enemies and also chastity by the marriage contract by the nikah contract you have placed yourself in the right path and route because otherwise according to hadith that says uh you know the example is brought as if the fruit if it's ready to be picked from the tree if that is left on the tree then the sun and the air would destroy and ruin that fruit likewise the biker those who are um you know young or virgin in other words if they're left over without the marriage then you have to expect the consequences thank you um thank you very much for joining us for today's show and several lessons can be learned from the story of qasim um yes we know the bravery yes we know the loyalty and we know his quasheng of the desire to grow up um to die for his imam but perhaps perhaps one of the messages we forget from his story is the importance of the institution of marriage and several ideas and theories were given today about when is the right time and uh how to go about this we'd like to thank you at home for watching and as per usual we will close with some eulogy about qasem el-hassan so and just again to give a quick brief um this is this poem is about a con the conversation that qasem's mother has with him as he prepares to go to the battle field inshallah today is the day that you go and fight today is the day that you go to die you look so handsome standing tall in your armor i raised you for this one moment and no other with my prayers i send you to the battlefield with my prayers i send you to the battlefield i want you to send salams to your father he'll take you in his arms and this will last forever qasem go and fight like how abbas taught you qasem your bravery exists only in a few qasem i promise i won't weep upon your death qasem i promise i won't weep upon your death to call you my shahid takes me over with pride but my heart bleeds for your loss deep down inside qasem qasem oh qasem my soldier go and ask hossain to let you go your uncle will refuse but don't give up on your goal show him the letter your father had left for you show him the letter your father had left for you my love go and represent hossain your father his wish can be fulfilled by no other qasem qasem oh qasem my eyes fill with tears as i see you get on your horse my heart desires that you stay there and keep on course but then in front of my own eyes i see my worst nightmare but then in front of my own eyes i see my worst nightmare qasem you fall and are now helpless on the ground qasem you fall and qasem you fall and are now helpless on the ground the horses trample your body their hooves in your blood drown qasem qasem oh qasem today is the day that you go and fight today is the day that you go to die