 Dangling a bit of ham in front of it. Who's doing up trying to get it. I just threw it out of the fire African orphans are so hungry cut that Connor what the African? They are that's just a fact. I Think leaving in I cut me getting paranoid. No, no, no leave so far. Everything stays. No. Yep. No. Yes Connor you listen to me Connor you leave part of this You leave part of this argument and you make it funny. Yeah, you make you leave all of this the reason why I'm fucking questioning it is because Browning town Michael's high. That's why I'm wearing safety goggles Also This is episode number 39 and we haven't told you guys yet because we've been really scared about it We didn't want to tell anyone because it's a big secret and we'll be so scared telling people Thing that's people could be angry at us. So we haven't said it yet But this is our second last episode for season number one. Yeah, so we'll come back It'd be like what a month break. Yeah, right. So listen to this shit. You listen to this So this episode number 39 you're listening right now. So you get the final next week. Okay, so what's that? What date is that early December? Early December. So we want up. We won't record any new podcasts or they won't start coming out until The beginning of February. So you too much your ears eight weeks break your ears get a week break You don't fucking listen to any other podcast. You don't you come back You fucking come back next season because we'll have you we got your shit, huh? Who's Santa, huh? Today's podcast. We're pretty sure we're gonna unwrap some shit from up here Some fucking shit. So this is a second last the next week's the season finale and then we're off eight weeks And then the podcast comes back with some changes better than ever We're already I'm already excited. I wish I could just get knocked out for two months Hey, are we someone could just knock me out for two months so that when I wake up It's time for season two. I'll do the set. I'll redo it. I just want to be asleep I want to be out unconscious for two months I don't want to hear a word and then I want to wake up and start the second season. That's how crazy shits It's it's it's we got some great new segments. Yeah, what are they? Fucking wait. I ain't saying shit, but there's there's There's good ones. Yeah, they're gonna be great. They're not just good great We're gonna get you guys to send phone numbers in of your friends Explaining situations of bad things they're going through and then we'll call say if they're in trouble with the police We'll pretend to be the police and so we're gonna gonna get arrested. Yeah, we're gonna Yeah, so you guys construct our prank calls that we do Well, I think that'll make them a little better event because Domino's is starting to fucking catch on me They're over. Yeah, I don't want to fucking you a shit no more. So to make it sustainable the prank calls I'm gonna leave it to you guys. We're gonna make it much more interactive in season two and The PO box. Hopefully we'll have a fucking shitload of stuff Because we've already we've already been sent some stuff from the peer box Thank you to the you bloody legend taking the time to do that. Someone's shit in a bag As soon as we open up the PO box, it just fucking reeked of shit. It was so bad But it's it's our fault. We did ask you to send some shit We also asked so we said we said and anthrax. Can I just put a hold on the anthrax? Don't do that don't actually send anthrax, please um someone tried to yeah So just just send us drugs or um shit. No, I don't know about this shit Hey, it's sort of fucked the whole PO box area Yeah, we've definitely ruined that area. I hope it is shit because it's not horrible. It's in the shed We haven't brought it out yet. We're gonna it's been in there for a few days festering oh Multiplying you're gonna be like wet or hard. I think it'll be a little being a little being all dig out of the poo Like that all right or a next segment we have spin renamed to And basically segment where I just be typing on the keyboard And that's the end of that segment now we move on to the second segment Which is called There's a whole segment on typing then Yeah, that is new Matt from season two, baby up Matt from wholesome wanted to start experimenting with brand pop-up segments. He's called him. He's called them pop-up segments I Top that Top that in any way Holy shit, that was good for this segment We just answer questions that you guys have sent in and the first question is from this person here come in Oh, it's Michael's roommate. Come on in here. It comes. He's looking through the door He's unsure of whether he can come here. We're calling him in we're saying come in here He comes right here. He's not sure which way to go. There's chords in front of him See what decision. Oh, he's gone for the leg over whoop. Oh, yeah, there we go. He's made it through there. We're going Lockies out Michael's roommate coming home there So yeah, just say like it's just it's live and raw here at Marty and Michael, you know anything could happen Isn't that right? Yeah. Yeah, so just about anything. Well, it doesn't get it doesn't get much more random Than this show Man, you're crazy. All right question time. All right, this one's for these are the questions from you to us We love them keep kind here we go Arez underscore ac underscore Do you speak German? That's a no from me and a no from me. Yes, he does and if I've probably told this in a previous podcast There's nothing more funny than watching Marty Talk to his mother on the phone. Look, I'm just making noises I just make noises and apparently it is another language as some people know as German or or German Always at the end to us. You always say that to us. Oh That's your ending every time with your mom no German to your mom is a fucking I just pretend joke ever I just pretend I pretend to be on the phone. I don't actually speak German dude, I Want to do a whole have we we've done that in a prank call where you just speak German, haven't we I? Think so. I want that to happen. Well today. We're not doing the mumbled man Yeah, which is German being mumbling is German next questions from cash 0679 You are the most funniest pair on YouTube. Not really a question, but great question. Yeah. Yes is the answer All right, this is from drink underscore drink underscore drunk 88. Yes This might be a long shot, but what's your guy's favorite alcoholic drink? I'm not sure why that's a long shot. Um mine has probably evolved to red wine over the years I used to hate it because of the Cask wine days when I was 18 used to drink wine out of the cask there So that's sort of fucked my taste buds up for 10 years, but I Enjoy the wine the one any any any alcohol really, but you know Marty says something plays that laugh over and over I Go a beer any beer. Oh, I'm playing with my moustache right now I can nearly do that thing where it's like two little sparks at the end I've been working on it hard. I don't even next question care about my November. This is from Jay Dodds 88 and you've got a fucking answer this because this is your fault Yeah, Marty. Why did you rip my gift you German asshole? Also? What's your fave beverages? We just answered the beverages, but why did you rip up the CD that he got us? I can't even remember that and I will deny it until the day I die. That's good. Yeah, it's a good answer So I shouldn't ask all right this one's from car Molly for Tigers What music are you guys into? I like The sound of babies crying and then like soft piano playing dubbed over the top We're mixed with the baby crying and I also like to listen to Cardo's slamming shot type into YouTube animals committing suicide with Piano man playing in the background and it's like that's probably my most favorite music so that one song piano man because someone's Someone's put in a YouTube video animals kill themselves Well, they commit. Yeah Torres underscore Elizabeth. Hey, what if you could bring back one person from the dead? Who would it be Steven Hawking's or Jesus Christ? No, probably bring bring back the hawk Yeah, you got to bring back the hawk just he'd be good to have in videos He'd be like that cool mascot like pretty smart sidekick guy like but he thinks he knows a fair bit, but It's just like, oh, it's just a sidekick talking shit again that he read someone in a book that probably we wrote Or something so like yeah, I'd add to two out of those two choices Steven Hawking's for sure And I check his legs I get his ankle and then I can shake him And he wouldn't he wouldn't know what his legs are shaking for because I'd be hiding under a table or something You'd be tempted to keep fucking with trying to make him move by like hitting or Throwing or tie tying a bit of rope to the ceiling fan to his chair and then turning your own full ball. Oh Oh Dude, I'd love to see that. Yeah Let's do that. Let's let's do that for a video dig his body up No, we'll tie ourselves to a ceiling fan and we'll try and fly that way. Is that possible? Yes I just did a small calculation in my mind. Yes. They have it folks That's how I come up with video ideas. They just they explode into my skull and I'll be bleeding from the nose for a while. So enjoy All right, this one's from Steve underscore be one nine nine three Who would you rather kill out of box boy or will sparks? I probably kill probably box boy Yeah, he's younger so it would be more devastating to his family No, just will sparks if you're a big DJ and you decide to just not show up fair enough I'd probably do that too But if you box boy, you fucked everything up not only yourself, but everything everything's fucked because of you Yeah, that's true. I was laughing at something else All right next questions from Jordy underscore why act question for the podcast What do you think happens to our consciousness once we die fuck that's deep. I think it Turns into grass and then that's why when you're fucking No, I'm on the lawn you get that weird smell as you cut. Yeah, everyone thinks oh, it's cut grass. No, it's it's Consciousnesses. Yeah. Oh, it's pretty spot-on. I think I Can don't quote me on that but I think that's what that is and look into the simulation theory kids Jonas dot one When is Michael going to cut off his oh fuck me? How the fuck did we forget talking about this? We did a video I did it. I've been getting messages for like two years I read them all all of them so I decided to trick Michael And I told him I don't know if anyone's seen it But with those are video Jenna Marbles did a while ago where she lies on the ground Strangler hair out and then gets like hairspray and sprays it until it's like all stuck up and it looked very very funny So I say how Michael we're gonna do this We're gonna do this with your hair then along the ground hairspray hairspray and then when it was getting real stiff Marty get this right Marty pulls a knife on the come he doesn't and then just cut it all off Cut his hair straight line, but like look he broke the rule the number one ruler Michael said don't fuck with my hair. I fucking fucking did it So now it's opened up the floodgates and I can attack Bosley for a vid on our website I will I will allow him to to star Bosley Just like a three centimeter. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, nothing no deep tissue. Just oh, we'll see Yeah, but yeah, that video is coming out soon But he's fucking went to the hairdresser and they made her all even and she doesn't even look bad. So it's not long Yeah, it's not long, but like he doesn't look like a freak. Which are what is what I was hoping for Hmm. Yeah, it went better than it could have anyway next clearly me fear come Nick dot ever in ham To your mother's listen to your podcast. No. Oh, no, I don't think mom Even know about the podcast does she can you ask her my mind, but she wouldn't listen to it Yeah, they know better than that Had like aunties I think listen to it. They were like, it's what the fuck where the truth bombs Where the truth bombs of the family? They could be a tag that that could be a band our band's name truth bombs Where the truth bombs of the family a single is disco dancing the truth bombs is Where the truth bombs of the family? I like sherbet sisters. I've been trawling the internet All weeks. I haven't found anyone thrown any human shit at judge Judy's back But I'm hopeful that we get something before Christmas. So don't forget whenever you see a video online hashtag Someone throw human shit at judge Judy's back So, let's just a moment of applauding there It's come a long way Hashtag has come a long way. I saw it on a building. I saw it on a building Tagged with graffiti or an actual sign. No, I saw both What's the next segment? Oh shit? Hey everyone, it's what you've all been waiting for someone sent in some human shit into a peer box I think and we're gonna jump on to the pure box segment. Here's the new name It's called panic to pleasure That's what that audio clip is called Yeah Panic to pleasure and this is a segment where we just open the shit that you guys sent to our PO box We got letters here. Hopefully not full of anthrax There's no more climate change from that one mate. That was perfect and also in the garage outside We have a box and I'm pretty sure there's some human shit in it And as you all remember Michael said if someone sends in human shit here wipe it on his face think now I'm saying I'll think about it, but that's such a pussy Michael is not opening the first letter Michael is now opening the first letter. Is there anything drugs in there? I mean things In there. Oh, hang on. There's a letter here. Oh, what do we got here? So the first thing is a picture of cows if you can see a fucking look at that. Oh, yeah What one would you do out of all of them one on the right here that one actually looks familiar That's the one I would Fuck for those watching I'm pretty sure I've already had that one. You can tell by the bend in its neck You bend the left. Yeah. Well, all right. Do you rip it already? No, it was like this. So it's just a bit of paper here Okay, so in the envelope was a picture of cows and here we have two little fucking letters They were also in that and it says cows are love cows are life Keep up the quality vids that make me laugh and keep my cow fetish under control At Dylan underscore eight underscore from Sydney, Australia. Thank you Dylan. That was beautiful There's more This is also in the same envelope the $1 that it cost me to purchase the stamp for this letter comes from a cows cunt. I Prefer to fist the beasts because it adds a personal touch. You just don't get with a dicking. Hope you appreciate It takes a lot of strength to come forward and be that that graphic and that detailed For you know an eight-year-old this picture has a new place. So I thank you very much for that much appreciated All right, this one might have anthrax in it because it has been pouring out shit all day Okay, I'm just gonna cover go ahead and cover my face. It's glitter though. Oh fuck if you inspired me too We should not have asked people to send in anthrax. I regret that I'm gonna stop talking about an anthrax Is it just glitter I reckon lots of glitter. Yeah, there's people want us to get mess or something is that what that is So someone send us an envelope full of glitter. So thank you and also this with this note in it, okay Dear Marty and Michael. Who's a pretty girl? Pretty pretty sprinkle sprinkle. Oh Very good start. I'm enjoying this. I Actually can't wait for you guys to do a meet and greet I would love for you guys to shout me out on Instagram at Fio dot s u m e r r you guys are the best Australians don't stop making your videos because they're amazing. No one has ever Made me laugh that much from summer Summer thank you Thank you for saying what the rest of Australia is thinking. That's fair. It's a fair statement. Thank you summer We really appreciate that and the glitter is very pretty very pretty put that in the bin Is there a bindi throw that straight away? No, not throw it straight away. We are not hanging on to that All right, we have openings from our friend Bryce opening the third envelope now from someone we have met before Bryce his name is Let's see what he has sent us or a big letter. We have a beautiful letter and a photo When he met us here, that's me there on the ride. That's pricey boy We're in our merch shirt and that here is Michael Those of you who are listening on Spotify fucking go to YouTube if you want to see the picture just go to fucking YouTube It's not hard. We've got fuck also if you're on your phone. It's an it's an app It's just watch it on YouTube. It's the monetize every video. We do we do this for free So there you go beautiful picture and Michael would you like to I'll read the letter, okay? Hey guys, it's Bryce Aussie underscore carts 99 here. How are you's going? I'm doing good. Just looking for work still. I'm no longer working. Are you guys hiring to be in your videos? Ha ha ha jokes now I'm always free to do anything if yous need more people to be in your videos when some messages me on Facebook or Instagram We'll go from there. I will always remember the first day. We met I still have that wristband ha ha and every day I watch your videos and soon. Hopefully we will have a drink up and chill out I want to hang out with yours more often I print out your photo and I want you guys to have it But anyways keep us all laughing and good work. I will see you soon ps and always remember We are the best hashtag. We are the best love use both and my number is oh for kidding not gonna read that Cheers Bryce. You're a fucking legend brahler. Yes. We will do a meet and greet soon. We'll get fucked up and more Smoke a bit of math a ha So if everyone thanks for taking the time to ask cute little letters sending anything you want It doesn't have to be a letter can just be like a random stick Or maybe you'd like to send us a lock of your mother's hair if she's like Undergoing chemo therapy and her hair's falling out. Anyway, just grab a little tough to it Throne an honorable it send it down Marty and Michael. We'll have a fucking look at it Now you can say to your chemo mother. Hey, look mum. Look your hair made it on to YouTube and Would that be better than nothing an uplifting experience for a mother with chemo therapy? All right, thanks to the P. I box is right here for those of you on fucking Spotify oh My god what everyone's been waiting for shit Oh Do you want to get a Michael? It's you're closest I'll be right back. Oh I'm sleepy deepy. Okay. I've uh bought in the package bought in the package It's we had in the garage because it smelled a bit Shit, so we think this is shit. Okay. I'm saying what's from I'm scared to inhale. All right, so it's a It's a red bag Shit be careful and be careful and she open it this direction This is gonna be shit fine and everywhere. I'm Michael's pierced the bag. What's in it? No, no I'm not smelling it. I like that. That's sort of nice Oh my god, that is I don't want to put my hand in there Ask the people for this. I was pouring out Dude don't don't dude Okay, so fuck get that fuck We go cute the container is Okay, all right, so inside that Fucking package is a white container the smell is intensified I don't know if it's a shit smell something rotting for sure. This could be anthrax No, she doesn't smell like that. Are we ready? Yeah, open it if you throw that on me. I will not do It's not like you cut my hair or anything. Oh What if there's a bug in there It's porridge It's literally grassy porridge Yeah That's what I think shit is grassy porridge. It looks like that. It's moving. I can feel it vibrating in the container Okay, we're all breathing through our mouth at the moment That is fucked someone has just sent us a little container of real human shit It's so hard not to gag right now That is fucked that someone did that. It's like It's sort of cool, but it's yeah, that's that was properly sealed and everything wasn't that For those of you who were listening have a look if you can someone to send us human shit And you know and that's what we asked for it now We're so now we've been sent human shit. So thank you. You don't need to do that anymore So I'll just give a small small round of applause there To that person because that is That's ballsy Takes balls to shit in the house. Hey, it's fully fucked Oh Not too much hairspray. Oh Mind I honestly did not mind that like I realized I can't put it on my face. That's too fucked Michael lied to everyone. Sorry guys Michael's lied to you. We couldn't put it on his face I enjoy the smell. It's different and it will only last a bit. It was up someone sent us human shit Thank you for listening to us. No more human shit only other cool things fuck it some breast milk Someone send us some breast milk. Oh, yeah So there you go the po box segment is really taking off and sort of becoming a a beast on its own there So thank you for everyone sending you your shit in Literally, it's great. It really brings a lot of life and a lot of energy little power level show Man, yeah, that is a powerful shit smell. It's pretty as a first There's a surely no one's opened up human shit and a podcast before Who takes the time to send shit, that's the man I'd like to meet them I'd like to meet I'd have a beer or five with her. Yeah, because that's pretty you can imagine how funny it would be Shitting in the container and definitely a chick who did it sealed like properly didn't they like fully properly sealed Yeah, it was in one of those little tubs from very impressive All right, our final segment has of course been renamed to And this segment is basically where we just do a prank we I'm going to be the character the mumble man So I was gonna be very hard to hear me and that's for the joke Haha also Yeah, like we mentioned this is the second last episode so now we got next week and Then the prank calls will be back better than ever in season two. Okay, and every week There'll be it'll be a big part of it God, there's so much shit in my mouth. I hate what I did now. It doesn't go. Hey, I really wish it just would It's still lingers. Oh man very very intense smell I'll do this prank over the shit in my mouth Yeah, get a mouse make a pick up board of play Yeah, maybe a couple of pages today one of barbecue meat lovers on classic do I'm gonna get the in the Hawaiian there on the pan on the pan the thick one And then what was the size you got going on the moment Subdeals going on Any top deals gone to to my pace is gonna be a deal's gone whatever What about one of the names that's gonna couple lava cake Same value comes comes together the same problem Yeah Yeah, this is a little bit down here. What about the drink stage? Is it going to be cut as far as tonight? Hmm, yeah, see what are they going to soften or anything, really. Ah, the sun kiss, the orange one, the bubbles on it. Is that 1.5 or 600? I'm going to look at my can of the sun kiss there. I don't want to put me down 1.2 miles in here. I'm going to read the word back on me. I'm going to read the word back on me. And then there's the other song that's part of the valiant deal. Gaelic bread, part of the valiant deal. Yeah, is that part of the deal? What are the deals you're going to go on? It's part of the deals. I don't know a lot about the song, but Gaelic bread is an original deal. Oh, that's great. The one last little thing with the Hawaiian, I'm going to read the song again when you bring it on. Well, I'm not saying Hawaiian, but you can put it here when it's hot and when you bring it over to hot. Yeah, that's all, that's all. So, if you put it on, it's like, angry, angry ham, even when you're putting it on with salt. Look, look, look. You put it down, you put it down. Come on, come on, 15 minutes or so. I'm going to go down again. Is that what you called it? Mm. Waterman is going to come with water. Waterman, come with water. No, no, no. Water. He's getting boring. I'm not going to make any sense for the rest of the call. Yeah. Hi, sorry, are you dancing? Mm-hmm. Yeah, my brother said he's having a problem, so he's going to put it on with salt. No, no, no. Now you can use your hands to draw them, bring your hand to this one, to not... Huh? Now... It's not... It's not... It's not... It's not... It's not... It's not... It's just... It's just... It's just a couple of pages. You read back the water. Okay. Hmm, yes. Now this is a lot of... This is a hand machine. Put it on this one, to not... Run. Then you can cross the board with it. This is one. You can bring your hand. I don't know how to do this. You can bring your hand back, maybe. You can bring your hand up. Up. Just like this. Just like this. Like this. Like this. Strike. It's sad ending. Ahahahah. And that's the mobile, man. Dude, dude, dude. Hah. We're the best. We're the best. Smells like shit. Smells like shit. We're the best. See you all for F.C.'s final next week, don't forget to tell your brothers, Smash the smithereens. It's fucked.