 was speaking with a friend today who wanted to see what I thought about you know other people coming at me and saying certain things and I said I don't have really much to say I best not that's not me I have stated something this is a person who knew me at one of my tour stops I told you guys that I had a that I was on tour with the federal government my own my own problems my inducing of it me doing something to get me in trouble with the federal government so I was in prison and he was asking some questions I said this is kind of how I want to do things this is how I think it's the right thing to do there's instead of having this knee jerk response on things it just helps sometimes kind of sit stop wait think about some things and then just kind of give to the Lord and then let him advise you I have this belief do I believe it that it that it's this way 100% of time no there are sometimes when you do have to not do what I'm gonna tell you and that is let the Lord vindicate you let the Lord defend you often times when someone has something to say or when someone wants to do something to you there are times or opportunities when you can allow the Lord to take care of it that requires and I understand that it requires some faith it requires you to not do what you want to do it requires you to not do what you say to do and that's hard sometimes it really is especially if it seems like it might be life and death and so I have this view now someone says that I wasn't that way especially when it came to my own legal case well the truth of matter is that was the case I actually did say you know what Lord you handle it however you want to do it now obviously I want you to not allow me to suffer the greatest consequence no one wants to suffer the most no one anyone in their right mind want to say Lord if I've got to suffer can you ease the pain can you make it quick can you make it light then always happen that effect most cases it's not that way but I played guilty because I felt like that hey I'm not innocent I've done some wrong here and so however however it works out I'm throwing myself as we say legally or on the mercy of the court but also Lord I'm I'm throwing my hands my body my life my everything I'm entrusting to your hands well not so bueno in the very beginning not so good in the beginning because the judge gave me the maximum amount possible on a plea deal 240 months can you imagine that never been in trouble with law before never had any issues never and I'm thinking that I'm looking at two three years maybe four at the high end possibly probation and so I felt pretty good and when the judge says no off with your head you're through you're out of here well needless to say I was surprised I was shocked I was in awe but it also allowed me to kind of come closer to the Lord more time with him now what you do is in prison you might make a case you might present hey listen I think based on the evidence that this isn't correct and so forth whatever and so I filed appeal file an appeal it takes this time let it let it work through court and so forth and I understand all of those things whatever well PCORI is that is that you allowing the Lord to defend you well again that mean that you always totally just subject yourself to everything you are still allowed to cry out for some relief and so this is my way of doing so Lord I'm putting this in your hands you tell me you you work this out as things went on I'm spending more and more time in prison moving around at the very what looked like the worst possible moment the worst possible moment my mother had passed away they put me in the shoe or special housing unit that is basically the hole where you take the person out of the general population and put them in a cell by themselves or in some case you may have two people in there and it's just you and this small room there's a toilet there might there might be a shower depending on the facility that you're at maybe windows maybe not and you're stuck in there for 24 hours a day not a good look well during this time and it's just me and God I did have my Bible so I could I could read but just me and God well I get a letter the letter says the letter came from the United States Court of Appeals said that your appeal appeal had been denied two to one I believe it was the was the two to one is was the ruling and so it was possible as a matter of fact even advisable that I would go ahead and file citing new evidence to have the whole thing tossed out on his face everyone said you should win what did I do I said at that moment you know what no I'm not following anything at that moment and this was about six seven years left on my sentence no God toss it away through the way it's in your hands Lord as the Solomon says you vindicate me as a matter of fact when we look at that passage to Psalm 26 one says vindicate me oh Lord for I have walked in my integrity and I have trusted in the Lord without wavering and here it is examine me oh Lord and try me test my mind and my heart for your loving kindness is before my eyes and I have walked in your truth you can only really pray that prayer if you have been walking with the Lord and that's it that's just that's the secret guys if you if you know and only you know better than anyone else if you've been walking in him only you know how you have behaved how you have spent time with him and so it's really kind of a test try me examine me as he says and see but how does he start off by saying what's the first thing he says vindicate me oh Lord I do want relief so when you let the Lord defend you it's not saying that you don't want to to get in relief that you want to take whatever comes that's not the point it's not give me at all because you don't have the ability to take all that can be given to you or putting your shoulders but what you're doing is you're saying Lord if I'm wrong you'll deal with me if I'm right you release me however it is now can I tell you what happened this was 2019 that I'm in the shoe 2019 I'm in the shoe and I get that and I decided no Lord I'm putting it in your hands I had no idea it was going to happen less than one year later I am released five years prior to my actual release date so this is where you know trusting I can really say so that trusting in the Lord absolutely wait works he says in Galatians 6 don't be weary in doing good for in due season at the appointed time you shall reap a reward that is if you do not faint so keep doing what you're supposed to do do not faint God will if you want him to if you let him he will vindicate you now it will not be the way that you want to it will not be as soon it will not be with as little or as few amount of issues pain and so forth discomfort that you want there's going to be some sort of discomfort but that's to grow you I said one of my favorite verses actually a few verses put together that I have in the Bible come from Psalms 3 this was one of the prayers that I had all throughout the Bible I mean all throughout my stay in prison Psalm 3 says Lord how they have increased who troubled me Lord how are they increased that troubled me many are they that rise up against me many there be which say of my soul there is no help for him in God there are many people says you know what he's gone he's out here there's there's no help not even God can help him nope he's through but look what he says he says but thou oh Lord art a shield for me my glory and the lifter up of my head that is amazing that was my prayer that was my cry look what he says in four I cried unto the Lord with my voice and he heard me out of his holy heal so there's this peace this comfort from just in some cases giving it to God and so when someone has something to say something to do someone comes at you and all sorts of way it's easy the natural knee jerk response is to respond folks will know what you got to say folks will know what are you gonna do about it you want to know you know I'm not gonna let the person get away with this someone pat cuts me off in traffic I can't let him get away with that someone says this about me someone stole this someone made this comment okay there's no need to this is where sometimes maturity steps in and says you know what I got this because maybe what's happening to you you deserve or maybe there's someone better equipped at handling does that mean that you never ever ever defend yourself no does it mean you never ever speak a word no that's not the case because we see that most often though the pattern that we see of even Jesus or the disciples the apostles we don't see them defending themselves a lot we do see there are times when they do they do so for the sake of the gospel at some point in time you might I might have to might not who knows but the first response then the the automatic response would be Lord you take this and depending on your walk with him you might understand you might be moved to go ahead and make a defense but you make your defense not of yourself you make your defense of the word and why you say or why you do what you do as it relates to the word not for defending yourself there's nothing worthy about you that requires you to be defended we're no good there's nothing special about us but his word that's different which is why we will always defend doctrine will always defend the word of God but to get up and defend yourself now it becomes about you and I just don't want to do that because thus far I've tried to make it about him and I'm still home today while there's still a year two years I'm sorry left on my imprisonment but I'm here because guess what God can vindicate you if he so chooses but only do so if you are walking with him so I hope this has been helpful he and I were having the conversation and I said you know what this might be something that somebody else might get some benefit from might not be a lot hopefully it will be but hopefully you can see I'm living I'm living example living proof of trusting in him letting him handle it first works a lot it really does a man