60 Second Story Time





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Published on Sep 12, 2012

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One time I woke up in the middle of the forest and I was like WTF why am I in the middle of a forest? I feel this hand on my shoulder

I look behind me, I feel the evil breathing on my neck. It's a bear.

He says "Listen I know I'm a bear and I know you probably think I want to eat you but it's actually completely true. I do want to eat you. Twice. I want to eat you twice. I want to eat you, then I want to see you in front of me, and then I wish to eat you again."

I looked at him and I said. Only after a game of rock paper scissors, bitch. I haven't played that game in like, for ev-er.

The bear accepted my challenge. I could see him trembling beneath that chewbacca carpet style fur of his. He said okay on three or after three.

I said always on three, smokey. come on.

He told me that he was offended by me calling him smokey, but that he gets it alot, and that he just needs a few seconds to calm down.

We initiated the rock paper scissors session. Rock. Paper. Scissors.

I chose scissors this was my chance. I took the scissors and stabbed him multiple times while dropped his paper. I won. The only game he'll be winning is a one way ticket to christopher robin's 100 acre heaven. Clever.

He looked at me with tears in his eyes and said.

I just wanted a friend...

I began to cry too.

I woke up in the middle of the forest and I was like WTF why am I in the middle of a forest. I feel this hand on my shoulder. But nobody was there. It was just the wind.

My phone rang. It was bear and he told me that his wife was pregnant and I needed to get to the hospital ASAP.


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