 Your Coca-Cola bottler presents Claudia based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola Relax and while you're listening refresh yourself. Have a coke and now Claudia David Telephone, I know it was a telephone. I can recognize the telephone darling. It's only quarter of eight Who would be calling us at quarter of eight in the morning? I can't imagine. Why don't you answer it and see David? You don't suppose no darling. I don't suppose it's mama. Oh, I hope she's all right You just saw her yesterday in town David the telephone is ringing and it might be you want me to go answer it No, no, no, no, you're just afraid if it isn't you isn't for you. You'll never find out who it was Hello Tucker it's you. Well, how are you this morning? Good. We haven't seen you in a long time. Oh Yes, yes, I intend to come over and visit you any day now very very soon. Well, is it mama? No, Delilah Tucker What are you supposed she wants at this hour? I don't know. She's talking but she hasn't said anything yet. Oh, yes, miss Tucker Your brother No, he's not here. Oh Of course, nothing's happened. You're more standing happen to him Yes, well if he comes we'll call you right off and miss talk it is nothing to worry about You know, nothing can happen to Jared Tucker. Why he's he's indestructible. Thank you. He's indestructible miss Tucker. Yeah, goodbye You see David other people worry about other people they love and I am not the only one Are you comparing mama to an 86 year old man? Rather favorable to mama isn't it Well, what's the old man of the mountain up to now? I don't know Delilah said he raced out of the house this morning in the fury She probably told him he should wear an extra sweater and he didn't want to be pampered Oh, you poor man. You have such a hard time of it with us women. We certainly do What she said was that Jared read the Eastbrook town crier and something in it made him wild before she To him you dashed out or more credit to him when an 86 year old man can dash let him day No, you women are always getting upset you men are always taking sides Better finish your coffee David. Where's our copy of the town crier? I don't know came yesterday late afternoon. I haven't seen it yet I think it's uh in the kitchen. Oh It's gonna be a lovely sunny day today. I can put the baby outside Bet you 20 cents that's Jared Tucker right now You win your bet. Hello. We're in the dining room. Mr. Tucker. I wasn't on the latch. Oh, I just walked in Well, that's what the door was off the latch for I'm so dog gone crackling mad this morning. Oh, good day, folks I'm so dog gone crackling crazy mad this morning. I could choke a hog with my own bare hand Delilah just called. Oh Sister mine what she on my tail first. She's worried. She said you're so dog gone crackling mad at something Let her worry. I ain't got no time to worry about her worrying She's always worrying what you're so mad at have you seen your copy of the Eastbrook town crier? No, this issue here just come out yesterday. No, we were just mentioning that we hadn't had a chance to look at it I look here son. Look here. Well, you'll see what I'm so dang blasted sore act I can't imagine. What is it being a man's privacy smearing his picture around pulling all his skeletons out of his closet Spreading them out on the pages so they can sell more copies of the paper What this year world's coming to hey a demand got a right to his own known privacy Can we see that paper you have in your hand ever since man had the brains to invent itself the wheel He's got so concern cocky with the shelf He thinks he's got the right to do anything that comes comes to his mind How about looking at your paper and he goes and invents a print and press starts publishing newspapers Gotta fill up all this space. So what's he do starts rob another man of their privacy. I'll show them. That's what I'll do I'll show them please show us what it is. Oh, ain't you seen it? No. Oh, we told you we why didn't you say so well I I tried to but you saying I'm 92 years old. They got a nerve why I won't be 87 until Until bugberry season comes around Making an old man of me. I'm so dog gone be good go on go on have a look where right there Page one there. Oh Way down here to the corner of the page At least ways you'd think they'd have the sense to put it up in the center of the page But no they invade a man's privacy and then they tuck it away in the corner of the bottom of the page Sometimes I think there ain't no more brains in the parcel of men who run this here paper then in a in a in a Partial old shoes historic personality of Eastbrook Jared Tucker of duck pond Lane Hold it so I can see the pond Lane. Where'd they get that? Hey, well, it's not the name of the side road your farms on Oh, oh, yes, one of our foremost citizens who has lived in this community for the last 92 years 92 there ain't no need to exaggerate about Jared Tucker. He's good good just the way he is Family first settled in Eastbrook some 200 years ago property lines on River Road This is a wonderful article. Mr. Tucker. I don't see what you're some out of 92 years old duck pond Lane One of the foremost citizens why I be the most Foremost citizen. Well now we all know that here it goes on. Mr. Tucker is well known for his rather acid commentary on Current events and habits of his fellow man. That's right Greeted the other day on Main Street in front of Dorland's pharmacy Dorland's pharmacy women here turn it over In Eastbrook Center, yes, Mr. Tucker tossed us this tidbit the trouble betweeks men and women is The trouble with men and women. Yep. That's what I said, but that ain't one of my better sayings That's that's what it says though. Well, I think this is a very fine article. Mr. Tucker We're all very proud of I have half a mind to shoe that editor young will Blake all you mean you didn't know this article was to appear Oh, well will Blake said something about it. Oh, this is kind of an anniversary issue with the paper So when I was accosted it by the reporter on Main Street I had kind of an inkling of what was in will Blake's head But I didn't think he'd be such a fool is to actually come out with it Well, I still don't see why you're so upset. No, I think this is very fine. I believe in the progress man. I Believe we humans got to pull ourselves up by our own bootstraps and start getting some place in the universe My ancestors showed their cells out of piece of land build a farm on it And they didn't get no publicity now Just because I happened to be kind of toothless Scrawny in the arms stringy in the hair brittle to the bone and loose in the tongue Will Blake thinks he's got a right to expose me and all my ancestors for the entertainment of his readers Nobody did this out of fun. Mr. Tucker. This is serious. The newspaper thought people would be interested in knowing about you What for well because you're because you're an interesting character that it hey I'm only an ordinary sardar fella, but I am superior to everybody else and that's reason enough You old man of DuPont Lane. It's what it said What kind of respect can a man get when he's got a monitor like that stuck on? That's not so bad every time I walk down Main Street I'll feel like there like a goldfish swimming around in a glass bowl. Personally. I think it's wonderful I love publicity and we are terribly proud to know you mr. Tucker. We certainly are Hey darling, what about calling Delilah? Oh, yeah, remember? She's at home worrying that Jared has done something fearful to himself. Oh, don't mind Delilah. She's wishful thinking I'll call her this minute. Well, mr. Tucker have a cup of coffee. Yeah I ain't got no mind for coffee. My insides is all Snarled up over this. Yeah, come on. Calm down. I'll walk into my barnyard and my hen's little cluck cluck and cackle at me in fun No, I think you'll find aren't and smile at me as if to say Jared Tucker. You sure be one old fool I know such thing and you know it and you're called Delilah now. I don't want to talk to her I don't want to talk to nobody. I'm gonna hold up like a bear in November. Hibernate. That's me. Oh Telephone again Hello. Oh miss Tucker. I was just going to call you. Yeah, he's here and he's fine and don't you worry about him He's gonna stay fine, too Well personally strictly between you and me understand. I I don't think he's as angry as he acts. Oh You knew that too, huh? Well fine. I'll tell him you called. Goodbye Well, that was your sister mr. Tucker. I told her you were fine Why'd you go and tell her that far? I ain't fine. Well, I mean I mean compared to other men you're fine Oh, yes, it's all very interesting and I'm certainly honored to have my breakfast in the company of the sage of Eastbrook But I'm afraid it's time. I'm on my way to work guess. I'll get back to my duck pond lane farm and tend to my barnyard Oh, there's a phone again. I was certainly popular. Maybe it's mama this time Just wait till I tell mama how famous mr. Tucker. Don't use that word in my presence young woman Hello Mr. Tucker. Oh, yes, he's here just a minute, please. It's for you, mr. Tucker I guess your sister referred the call over to it. She would mean I ain't got no problems. Oh, what he was privacy privacy is no fun Tucker here Yep, this is him How's that? Speak louder man. Stop mumbling. These instruments are bad enough without you mumbling What's that to say? No, no, I ain't interested in having my picture taken. I ain't interested at all Not even with a cow. I'm a farmer man. Not a talkie pictures star See what I mean, I'll be hounded that's what I'll be hounded won't be able to call my life my own I think it's exciting. You're a celebrity What is exciting about being a celebrity if I wanted to be a celebrity? I would have started years ago Why I could be a first-class celebrity if I'd have set my mind to it ain't nothing to that Probably for you again. Why don't you just take the phone out for yourself, mr. Tucker? Well, that's of course you think you need a secretary. Oh, it's the end of my peaceful days Tucker here Yes This is him How's that? Oh, you want in your boo me for the Hartford press I don't read the Hartford press I ain't interested. No. No. I ain't oh go ahead, mr. Tucker. Let him interview you Uh, hold on a second. What's that there you say, ma'am? Why shouldn't you let them interview you what well what fur those other folks can repeat what I say and then and then Call it their own plagiarism is the greatest compliment in the world Hello You still there? Hey, how's that? You'll you'll give me twenty five dollars. Well, don't you realize twenty five dollars is money? Oh, oh you do and I'm worth it to you. Hey well For $30 I'll allow myself to make the effort to let you write some lines about me Yes, well, I'll I'll call you when I'm ready. Mr. Mr. What they call you boy. Oh, mr. Farringholt at the Hartford press Yes, well, I'll call you as soon as I get my pigs back Hear that 30 dollars Hey, hey, hey, not bad. Hey, Mr. Tucker, you're in business. Yeah Guess what I got say is kind of pretty important yep the sage of Duffpond Lane Sonner Got kind of a ring of dignity to it the sage of Duffpond Lane What's the attraction at your house the mother of one teenager asked another the second woman laughed It's no secret. She said I guess it's just that we buy coke by the case and the kids know there's always enough on ice for the whole crowd Ice cold Coca-Cola is a major attraction where teenagers are concerned as you know If there are young people in your family, how about bringing home a case of coke this afternoon? It's only a dollar. Well, Joe Don't you feel proud of the sage of Duffpond Lane personally? Well, it's quite an honor, David Did you know so mr. Tucker is starting to think so mr. Tucker has always thought all he needed was someone to agree with him Well, I better be on my way. That's right, David You've a train to make oh, I'll make it weather's good driving the station to be fast Then make hay while the sun shines David because Monday at rain. Well, thanks for the weather forecast rain means rubbers I never wear rubber wait and see and right now you'd better step on it. I'm on my way Every day Monday through Friday Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola So listen again Monday at the same time And now this is Joe King saying or a bar and Remember whoever you are whatever you do wherever you may be when you think of refreshment think of Coca-Cola Or Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes and ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere The parts of Claudia and David on this program were played by Catherine Bard and Paul Crabtree and the entire production is supervised and directed by William Brown Maloney And now here's a word from your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola