 Chapter 18 of My Bondage and My Freedom by Frederick Douglass. This LibriVox recording is in the public domain. New Relations and Duties. Change of Masters, Benefits Derived by the Change, Fame of the Fight with Covey, Reckless Unconcern, Author's Appearance of Slavery, Ability to Read a Cause of Prejudice. The Holidays, How Spent, Sharp Hit at Slavery, Effects of Holidays, A Device of Slavery, Difference between Covey and Freeland. An Irreligious Master Preferred to a Religious One, Catalog of Loggable Offenses, Hard Life at Covey's Useful to the Author, Improved Condition Not Followed by Contentment, Congenial Society at Freelands, Author's Sabbath School Instituted, Secrecy Necessary, Affectionate Relations of Tudor and Pupils, Confidence and Friendship Among Slaves, The Author Declines Publishing Particulars of Conversations with His Friends, Slavery the Inviter of Vengeance. My Term of Actual Service to Mr. Edward Covey Ended on Christmas Day, 1834. I gladly left the snake-ish Covey, although he was now as gentle as a lamb. My home for the year 1835 was already secured. My next master was already selected. There was always more or less excitement about the matter of changing hands, but I had become somewhat reckless. I cared very little into whose hands I fell. I meant to fight my way, despite of Covey too. The report got abroad that I was hard to whip, that I was guilty of kicking back, that though generally a good tempered negro, I sometimes got the devil in me. These sayings were rife in Talbot County, and they distinguished me among my servile brethren. Slaves generally will fight each other, and I at each other's hands, but there are few who are not held in awe by a white man. Trained from the cradle up to think and feel that their masters are superior and invested with a sort of sacredness, there are few who can outgrow or rise above the control which that sentiment exercises. I had now got free from it, and the thing was known. One bad sheep will spoil a whole flock. Among the slaves I was a bad sheep. I hated slavery, slaveholders, and all pertaining to them, and I did not fail to inspire others with the same feeling wherever and whenever opportunity was presented. This made me a marked lad among the slaves and a suspected one among the slaveholders. A knowledge of my ability to read and write got pretty widely spread, which was very much against me. The days between Christmas Day and New Year's are allowed the slaves as holidays. During these days, all regular work was suspended, and there was nothing to do but to keep fires and look after the stock. This time we regarded as our own by the grace of our masters, and we therefore used it or abused it as we pleased. Those who had families at a distance were now expected to visit them and to spend with them the entire week. The younger slaves or the unmarried ones were expected to see to the cattle and attend to incidental duties at home. The holidays were variously spent. Those sober thinking and industrious ones of our number would employ themselves in manufacturing corn brooms, mats, horse collars and baskets, and some of these were very well made. Another class spent their time in hunting opossums, coons, rabbits and other game, but the majority spent the holidays in sports, ball playing, wrestling, boxing, running foot races, dancing and drinking whiskey, and this latter mode of spending the time was generally most agreeable to their masters. A slave who would work during the holidays was thought by his master undeserving of holidays. Such in one had rejected the favor of his master. There was in this simple act of continued work an accusation against slaves, and a slave could not help thinking that if he made three dollars during the holidays, he might make three hundred during the year. Not to be drunk during the holidays was disgraceful, and he was esteemed a lazy and improvident man who could not afford to drink whiskey during Christmas. The fiddling, dancing and jubilee beating was going on in all directions. This latter performance is strictly Southern. It supplies the place of a violin or of other musical instruments, and it's played so easily that almost every farm has its juba beater. The performer improvises as he beats and sings his merry songs, so ordering the words as to have them fall pat with the movement of his hands. Among a mass of nonsense and wild phallic, once in a while our sharp hit is given to the meanness of slaveholders. Take the following for an example. We raise the wheat, they give us the corn, we break the bread, they give us the crust, we sift the meal, they give us the hus. We peel the meat, they give us the skin, and that's the way they take us in. We skim the pot, they give us the liquor, and say that's good enough for a nigger. Walk over, walk over, Tom Butter and the fat. Poor nigger, you can't get over that, walk over. There is no stoppable injustice and fraud of slavery, giving as it does to the lazy and idle, the comforts which God designed should be given solely to the honest laborer. But to the holidays, judging from my own observation and experience, I believe these holidays to be among the most effective means in the hands of slaveholders of keeping down the spirit of insurrection among the slaves. To enslave men successfully and safely, it is necessary to have their minds occupied with thoughts and aspirations short of the liberty of which they are deprived. A certain degree of attainable good must be kept before them. These holidays serve the purpose of keeping the minds of the slaves occupied with prospective pleasure within the limits of slavery. The young man can go wooing, the married man can visit his wife, the father and mother can see their children, the industrious and money-loving can make a few dollars, the great wrestler can win laurels, the young people can meet and enjoy each other's society. The drunken man can get plenty of whiskey, and the religious man can hold prayer meetings, preach, pray and exhort during the holidays. Before the holidays, these are pleasures in prospect. After the holidays, they become pleasures of memory, and they serve to keep out thoughts and wishes of a more dangerous character. Were slaveholders at once to abandon the practice of allowing their slaves these liberties periodically and to keep them the year-round closely confined to the narrow circle of their homes, I doubt not that the self were blazed within surrections. These holidays are conductors or safety valves to carry off the explosive elements inseparable from the human mind when reduced to the condition of slavery. But for these the rigors of bondage would become too severe for endurance, and the slave would be forced up to dangerous desperation, woe to the slaveholder when he undertakes to hinder or to prevent the operation of these electric conductors. A succession of earthquakes would be less destructive than the insurrectionary fires, which would be sure to burst forth in different parts of the self from such interference. Thus the holidays become part and parcel of the gross fraud, wrongs and inhumanity of slavery. Ostensibly they are institutions of benevolence designed to mitigate the rigors of slave life, but practically they are a fraud instituted by human selfishness, the better to secure the ends of injustice and oppression. The slave's happiness is not the end sought but rather the master's safety. It is not from a generous unconcerned for the slave's labor that this cessation from labor is allowed but from a prudent regard to the safety of the slave's system. I am strengthened in this opinion by the fact that most slaveholders like to have their slaves spend the holidays in such a manner has to be of no real benefit to the slaves. It is plain that everything like rational enjoyment among the slaves is frowned upon and only those wild and low sports peculiar to semi-civilized people are encouraged. All the life since allowed appears to have no other object than to discuss the slaves with their temporary freedom and to make them as glad to return to their work as they were to leave it. By plunging them into exhausting depths of drunkenness and dissipation this effect is almost certain to follow. I've known slaveholders resort to cunning tricks with a view of getting their slaves deplorably drunk. A usual plan is to make bets on a slave that he can drink more whiskey than any other and so to induce a rivalry among them for the mastery in this degradation. The scenes brought about in this way were often scandalous and loathsome in the extreme. Whole multitudes might be found stretched out in brutal drunkenness at once helpless and disgusting. Thus when the slave asks for a few hours of virtuous freedom his cunning master takes advantage of his ignorance and cheers him with a dose of vicious and revolting dissipation artfully labeled with the name of liberty. We were induced to drink among the rest and when the holidays were over we all staggered up from our filth and wallowing took a long breath and went away to our various fields of work feeling upon the whole rather glad to go from that which our masters artfully deceived us into the belief was freedom back again to the arms of slavery. It was not what we had taken it to be nor what it might have been had it not been abused by us. It was about as well to be a slave to master as to be a slave to rum and whiskey. I am the more induced to take this view of the holiday system adopted by slaveholders from what I know of their treatment of slaves in regard to other things. It is the commonest thing for them to try to discuss their slaves with what they do not want them to have or to enjoy. A slave for instance likes molasses he steals some to cure him of the taste for it his master in many cases will go away to town and by a large quantity of the poor's quality and set it before his slave and with whip and hand compel him to eat it until the poor fellow is made too sicken at the very thought of molasses. The same course is often adopted to cure slaves of a disagreeable and inconvenient practice of asking for more food when their allowance has failed them. The same disgusting process works in other things but I need not cite them. When a slave is drunk the slaveholder has no fear that he will plan an insurrection, no fear that he will escape to the north. It is the sober thinking slave who is dangerous and needs the vigilance of his master to keep him a slave but to proceed with my narrative. On the 1st of January 1835 I proceeded from St. Michael's to Mr. William Freeland's my new home. Mr. Freeland lived only 3 miles from St. Michael's on an old worn out farm which required much labor to restore it to anything like a self-supporting establishment. I was not long in finding Mr. Freeland to be a very different man from Mr. Covey. Though not rich Mr. Freeland was what may be called a well bred southern gentleman from Covey as a well trained and hardened Negro breaker is from the best specimen of the first families of this south. Though Freeland was a slaveholder and shared many of the vices of his class he seemed alive to the sentiment of honor. He had some sense of justice and some feelings of humanity. He was fretful, impulsive and passionate but I must do him the justice to say he was free from the mean and selfish characteristics which distinguished the creature from which I have now happily escaped. He was open, frank, imperative and practiced no concealments disdaining to play the spy. In all this he was the opposite of the crafty Covey. Among the many advantages gained in my change from Covey's to Freeland's startling as the statement may be was the fact that the latter gentlemen made no profession of the religion. I assert most unhesitatingly that the religion of the south as I have observed it and proved it is a mere covering for the most horrid crimes. The justifier of the most appalling barbarity, a sanctifier of the most hateful frauds and a secure shelter under which the darkest, foulest, grossest and most infernal abominations fester and flourish where I again to be reduced to the slave next to that calamity I should regard the fact of being the slave of a religious slave holder the greatest that could be foaming. For of all slave holders with whom I have ever met religious slave holders are the worst. I found them almost invariably the vilest, meanest and basest of their class. Exceptions there may be but this is true of religious slave holders as a class. It is not for me to explain the fact others may do that I simply stated as a fact and leave the theological and psychological inquiry which it raises to be decided by others more competent than myself. Religious slave holders like religious persecutors are ever extreme in their malice and violence very near my new home on an adjoining farm there lived the Reverend Daniel Whedon who was both pious and cruel after the real Covey pattern. Mr. Whedon was a local preacher of the Protestant Methodist persuasion and a most zealous supporter of the ordinances of religion generally. This Whedon owned a woman called Seal who was a standing proof of his mercilessness. Poor Seal's back always scantily clothed was kept literally raw by the lash of this religious man and gospel minister. The most notoriously wicked man so called in distinction from church members could hire hands more easily than this brute when sent out to find a home a slave would never enter the gates of the preacher Whedon while a sinful sinner needed a hand. Behave ill or behave well it was the known maxim of Whedon that it is the duty of a master to use the lash. If for no other reason he contended that this was essential to remind a slave of his condition and of his master's authority the good slave must be whipped to be kept good and the bad slave must be whipped to be good. Such was Whedon's theory and such was his practice the back of a slave woman will in the judgment be the swiftest witness against him. While I am stating particular cases I might as well immortalize another of my neighbors by calling him by name and putting him in print he did not think that a child was near taking notes and would doubtless feel quite angry at having his character touched off in the ragged style of a slave's pen. After introducing the reader to Reverend Rigby Hopkins, Mr. Hopkins resides between Easton and St. Michael's in Talbot County, Maryland. The severity of this man made him a perfect terror to the slaves of his neighborhood. The peculiar feature of his government was his system of whipping slaves as he said in advance of deserving it. He always managed to have one or two slaves to whip on Monday morning so as to start his hands to their work and new assurance on Monday that his preaching about kindness, mercy, brotherly love, and the like on Sunday did not interfere with or prevent him from establishing his authority by the cow's skin. He seemed to wish to assure them that his tears over poor lost and ruined sinners and his pity for them did not reach to the blacks who tilled his fields. This St. Lee Hopkins used to boast that he was the best hand to manage a nigger in the county. He was the best hand to manage a nigger for the smallest offenses by way of preventing the commission of large ones. The reader might imagine a difficulty in finding faults enough for such frequent whipping, but this is because you have no idea how easy a matter it is to offend a man who is on the lookout for offenses. The man unaccustomed to slave holding would be astonished to observe how many floggable offenses there are and how easy it is to commit any one of them even when the slave least intends it. A slave holder bent on finding fault will hatch up a dozen a day if he chooses to do so and each one of these shall be of a punishable description. A mere look, word or motion, a mistake, accident, or want of power are all matters for which the slave may be whipped at any time. Does the slave look dissatisfied with his condition? It is said that he has the devil deeply whipped out. Does he answer loudly when spoken to by his master with an air of self-consciousness that must he be taken down a button hole lower by the lash well laid on? Does he forget an omit to pull off his hat when approaching a white person? Then he must or maybe whipped for his bad manners. Does he ever venture to vindicate his conduct when harshly and unjustly accused? Then he is guilty of impudence, one of the greatest crimes in the social law of Southern society to allow a slave to escape punishment who has impudently attempted to exculpate himself from unjust charges preferred against him by some white person is to be guilty of great dereliction of duty. Does the slave ever venture to suggest a better way of doing a thing? No matter what he is altogether too officious wise above what is written and he deserves even if he does not get a flogging for his presumption. Does he while plowing break a plough or while hoeing break a hoe or while chopping break an axe? No matter what were the imperfections of the implement broken or the natural liabilities for breaking the slave can be whipped for carelessness. The reverend slave-holder could always find something of this sort to justify him in using the lash several times during the week. Hopkins like Covey and Whedon were shunned by slaves who had the privilege as many had of finding their own masters at the end of each year and yet there was not a man in all that section of country who made a louder profession of religion than did Mr. Rigby Hopkins. But to continue the threat of my story through my experience when at Mr. William Freelance my poor weather-beaten bark now reached smoother water and gentler breezes my stormy life at Covey's had been of service to me. The things that would have seemed very hard had I gone direct to Mr. Freelance from the house where now after the hardships at Covey's trifles light as air I was still a fieldhand and had come to prefer the severe labor of the field to the innovating duties of a house servant. I had become large and strong and had begun to take pride in the fact that I could do as much hard work as some of the older men. There is much rivalry among slaves at times as to which can do the most work and masters generally seek to promote such rivalry but some of us likewise to race with each other very long. Such racing we had the sagacity to see was not likely to pay. We had our times for measuring each other's strength but we knew too much to keep up the competition so long as to produce an extraordinary day's work. We knew that if by extraordinary exertion a large quantity of work was done in one day the fact becoming known to the master might lead him to require the same amount every day. This thought was to bring us to a dead halt whenever so much excited for the race. At Mr. Freeland's my condition was every way improved. I was no longer the poor scapegoat that I was when at Coveys where every wrong thing done was saddled upon me and where other slaves were whipped over my shoulders. Mr. Freeland was too just a man thus to impose upon me or upon anyone else. It is quite usual to make one slave the object of a special service and to beat him often with a view to its effect upon others rather than with any expectation that the slave whipped will be improved by it but the man with whom I now was could descend to know such meanness and wickedness. Every man here was held individually responsible for his own conduct. This was a vast improvement on the rule at Coveys. There I was the general pack horse. Bill Smith was protected by a positive prohibition made by his rich master the rich slave holder is law to the poor one. He used his favor because of his relationship to Covey and the hands hired temporarily escaped flogging except as they got it over my poor shoulders. Of course this comparison refers to the time when Covey could whip me. Mr. Freeland like Mr. Covey gave his hands enough to eat but unlike Mr. Covey he gave them time to take their meals. He worked as hard during the day but gave us the night for rest and the advantage to be set to the credit of the center as against that of the saint. We were seldom in the field after dark in the evening or before sunrise in the morning. Our implements of husbandry were of the most improved pattern and much superior to those used at Coveys. Notwithstanding the improved condition which was now mine and the many advantages I had gained by my new home and my new master I was still restless and discontented. I was about as hard to please the master as a master is by a slave. The freedom from bodily torture and unceasing labor had given my mind an increased sensibility and imparted to it greater activity. I was not yet exactly in right relations albeit that was not first which is spiritual but that which is natural and after that which is spiritual. When entombed at Coveys, shrouded in darkness and physical wretchedness temporal well-being was the grand bottom but temporal wants supplied the spirit puts in its claims. Beat and cuff your slave, keep him hungry and spiritless and he will follow the chain of his master like a dog but feeding clothing well, working moderately, surrounding with physical comfort and dreams of freedom in truth. Give him a bad master and he aspires to a good master. Give him a good master and he wishes to become his own master such as human love of his kind that he loses all just ideas of his natural position but elevate him a little and the clear conception of rights rises to life and power and leads him onward. Thus elevated a little at freelance the dreams called into being by that good man Father Lawson when in Baltimore began to visit me and shoots from the tree of liberty began to put forth tender buds and in hopes of the future began to dawn. I found myself in congenial society at Mr. Freeland's there were Henry Harris, John Harris, Handy Caldwell and Sandy Jenkins. Henry and John were brothers and belonged to Mr. Freeland. They were both remarkably bright and intelligent though neither of them could read. Now from Egypt I had not been long at Freeland's before I was up to my old tricks. I early began to address my companions on the subject of education and the advantages of intelligence over ignorance and as I dared I tried to show the agency of ignorance in keeping men in slavery Webster's spelling book and the Columbian orator were looked into again as summer came on and the long Sabbath days dressed themselves over our idleness I became uneasy and wanted a Sabbath school in which to exercise my gifts and to impart the little knowledge of letters which I possessed to my brother slaves. A house was hardly necessary in the summertime I could hold my school under the shade of an old oak tree as well as anywhere else. The thing was to get the scholars and to have them thoroughly imbued with the desire to learn. Two such boys were quickly secured in Henry and John and from them the contagion spread. I was not long in bringing around me 20 or 30 young men who enrolled themselves gladly in my Sabbath school and were willing to meet me regularly under the trees or elsewhere for the purpose of learning to read. It was surprising with what ease they provided themselves with spelling books. These were mostly the cast-off books of their young masters or mistresses. I taught it first on our own farm. All were impressed with the necessity of keeping the matter as private as possible for the fate of the St. Michael's attempt was notorious and fresh in the minds of all. Our pious masters at St. Michael's must not know that a few of their dusky brothers were learning to read the word of God lest they should come down upon us with the lash and chain. We might have met to drink whiskey to wrestle, fight and to do other unsimely things with no fear of interruption from the saints or the sinners of St. Michael's but to meet for the purpose of improving the mind and heart by learning to read the sacred scriptures was esteemed the most dangerous nuisance to be instantly stopped. The slave holders of St. Michael's like slave holders elsewhere would always prefer to see the slaves engaged in degrading sports rather than to see them acting like moral and accountable beings. Had anyone asked a religious white man in St. Michael's 20 years ago the names of three men in that town whose lives were most after the pattern of our Lord and Master Jesus Christ, the first three would have been as follows. Garrison West Class Leader, Wright Fairbanks Class Leader, Thomas All Class Leader. And yet these were the men who ferociously rushed in upon my Sabbath school at St. Michael's armed with mob-like missiles and forbade our meeting again on pain of having our backs made bloody by the lash. This same Garrison West was my Class Leader and I must say I thought him a Christian until he took part in breaking up my school. He led me no more after that. The plea for this outrage was then as it is now and at all times the danger to good order. If the slaves learnt to read they would learn something else and something worse. The peace of slavery would be disturbed. Slave rule would be endangered. I leave the reader to characterize a system which is endangered by such causes. I do not dispute the soundness of the reasoning. It is perfectly sound and if slavery be right Sabbath schools for teaching slaves to read the Bible are wrong and ought to be put down. These Christian class leaders were to this extent consistent. They had settled the question that slavery is right and by that standard they determined that Sabbath schools are wrong. To be sure they were Protestant and held to the great Protestant right of every man to search the scriptures for himself but then to all general rules there are exceptions. How convenient. What crimes may not be committed under the doctrine of the last remark. But my dear class leading Methodist brethren did not condescend to give me a reason for breaking up the Sabbath of St. Michael's. It was enough that they had determined upon its destruction. I am however digressing. After getting the school cleverly into operation the second time holding it in the woods behind the barn and in the shade of trees I succeeded in inducing a free colored man who lived several miles from our house to permit me to hold my school in a room at his house. He very kindly gave me this liberty but he incurred much peril in doing so for the assemblage was an unlawful one. I shall not mention here the name of this man for it might even now subject him to persecution although the offenses were committed more than twenty years ago. I had at one time more than forty scholars all of the right sort and many of them succeeded in learning to read. I met several slaves from Maryland who were once my scholars and to obtain their freedom I doubt not partly in consequence of the ideas imparted to them in that school. I have had various employment during my short life but I look back to none with more satisfaction than to that afforded by my Sunday school. An attachment deep and lasting sprung up between me and my persecuted pupils which made my parting from them intensely grievous and when I think that most of these dear souls are yet shut up in this abject flaldom I am overwhelmed with grief. Besides my Sunday school I devoted three evenings a week to my fellow slaves during the winter that the reader reflect upon the fact that in this Christian country men and women are hiding from professors of religion and barns in the woods and fields in order to learn to read the Holy Bible. Those dear souls who came to my Sabbath school came not because it was popular or reputable to attend such a place where they came under the liability of having forty strikes later on their naked backs. Every moment they spent in my school they were under this terrible liability and in this respect I was a shareer with them. Their minds have been cramped and starved by their cruel masters. The light of education have been completely excluded and their hard earnings have been taken to educate their master's children. I felt that the light in circumventing the tyrants and in blessing the victims of their curses. The year at Mr. Freeland's passed off very smoothly to outward seeming not a blur was given me during the whole year to the credit of Mr. Freeland irreligious though he was it must be stated that he was the best master I ever had until I became my own master and assumed for myself as I had a right to do the responsibility of my own existence and the exercise of my own powers. For much of the happiness or absence of misery with which I passed this year with Mr. Freeland I'm indebted to the genial temper and art and friendship of my brother slaves. They were every one of them manly, generous and brave, yes. I say they were brave and I will add fine looking it has seldom a lot of mortals to have truer and better friends than were the slaves on this farm. It is not uncommon to charge slaves with great treachery toward each other and to believe them incapable of confiding in each other, but I must say that I never loved esteemed or confided in men more than I did in these. They were as true as steel and no band of brothers could have been more loving. There were no mean advantages taken of each other as is sometimes the case where slaves are situated as we were no tattling, no giving each other bad names to Mr. Freeland and no elevating one at the expense of the other. We never undertook to do anything of any importance which was likely to affect each other without mutual consultation. We were generally a unit and moved together. Thoughts and sentiments were exchanged between us which might well be called very incendiary by oppressors and tyrants and perhaps the time has not even now come when it is safe to unfold all the flying suggestions which arise in the minds of intelligent slaves. Several of my friends and brothers, if yet alive, are still in some part of the house of bondage and though 20 years have passed away the suspicious malice of slavery might punish them for even listening to my thoughts. The slave holder, kind or cruel, is a slave holder still. The every hour violator of the just and inalienable rights of man and he is therefore every hour silently wedding the night of vengeance for his own throat. He never lists a syllable in commendation of the fathers of this republic nor denounces any attempted oppression of himself without inviting the knife to his own throat and asserting the rights of rebellion for his own slaves. The year has ended and we are now in the midst of the Christmas holidays which are kept this year as last according to the general description previously given. In Chapter 18 Chapter 19 of my bondage by freedom by Frederick Douglass this Libra Vox recording is in the public domain. The runaway plot New Year's thoughts and meditations again bought by Freeland no ambition to be a slave kindness no compensation for slavery incipient steps toward escape considerations leading thereto irreconcilable hostility to slavery solemn vow taken plan devotes to the slaves columbian orator scheme gains favor despite pro-slavery preaching danger of discovery skill of slaveholders in reading the minds of their slaves suspicion and coercion hymns with double meaning value and dollars of our company preliminary consultation password conflicts of hope and fear difficulties to be overcome ignorance of geography survey of imaginary difficulties effect on our minds Patrick Henry route to the north laid out objections considered frauds practiced on free men passes written anxieties as the time drew near dread of failure appeals to comrades strange presentiment betrayal discovered the manner of arresting us resistance made by Henry Harris its effect the unique speech of Mrs. Freeland our sad procession to prison brutal jeers by the multitude along the road passes eaten the denial sandy too well loved to be suspected dragged behind horses the jail a relief a new set of tormentors slave traders John Charles and Henry released the author alone in prison he has taken out and sent to Baltimore I'm now at the beginning of the year 1836 the time favorable for serious thoughts the mind naturally occupies itself with the mysteries of life in all its phases the ideal the real and the actual sober people look both ways at the beginning of the year surveying the errors of the past and providing against possible errors in the future I too was thus exercised I had little pleasure in retrospect and the prospect was not very brilliant not withstanding thought I the many resolutions and prayers I have made in behalf of freedom I am this first day of the year 1836 still a slave still wandering in the depths of spirit devouring thrall them my faculties and powers of body and soul are not my own but are the property of a fellow mortal in no sense superior to me except that he has the physical power to compel me to be owned and controlled by him by the combined physical force of the community I am his slave a slave for life with thoughts like these I was perplexed and chafed they rendered me gloomy and disconsolate the anguish of my mind may not be written at the close of the year 1835 Mr. and my temporary master had bought me of Captain Thomas all for the year 1836 his pompous and securing my services would have been flattering to my vanity had I been ambitious to win the reputation of being a valuable slave even as it was I felt a slight degree of complacency at the circumstance it showed he was as well pleased with me as a slave as I was with him as a master the intimacy intimated my regard for Mr. Freeland and I may say here in addressing northern readers where there is no selfish motive for speaking and praise of a slave holder that Mr. Freeland was a man of many excellent qualities and to me quite preferable to any master I ever had but the kindness of the slave master only gilds the chain of slavery and detracts nothing from its weight or power the thought made for other and better uses than slavery thrives best under the gentle treatment of a kind master but the grim visage of slavery can assume no smiles which can fascinate the partially enlightened slave into a forgetfulness of his bondage nor of the desirableness of liberty I was not through the first month of this my second year with the kind and gentlemanly Mr. Freeland before I was earnestly considering and devising plans for gaining that freedom which when I was but a mere child I had ascertained to be the natural and inborn right of every member of the human family the desire for this freedom had been benumbed while I was under the brutalizing dominion of Covey and it had been postponed and rendered inoperative by my truly pleasant Sunday school engagements with my friends during the year 1835 at Mr. Freeland's it had however never entirely subsided I hated slavery always and the desire for freedom only needed a favorable breeze to fan it into a blaze at any moment the thought of only being a creature of the present and the past troubled me and I longed to have a future a future with hope in it to be shut up entirely to the past and present is a point to the human mind it is to the soul whose life and happiness is unceasing progress what the prison is to the body a blight and mildew a hell of horrors the dawning of this another year awakened me from my temporary slumber and roused into life my latent but long cherished aspirations for freedom I was now not only ashamed to be contented in slavery but ashamed to seem to be contented and in my present favorable condition under the mild rule of Mr. F. I am not sure that some kind reader will not condemn me for being over ambitious and greatly wanting and proper humility when I say the truth that I now drove for me all thoughts of making the best of my lot and welcomed only such thoughts as led me away from the house of bondage the intense desire now felt to be free quickened by my present favorable brought me to the determination to act as well as to think and speak accordingly at the beginning of this year 1836 I took upon me a solemn vow that the year which had now dawned upon me should not close without witnessing an earnest attempt on my part to gain my liberty this vow only bound me to make my escape individually but the year spent with Mr. had attached me as with hooks of steel to my brother slaves the most affectionate and confiding friendship existed between us and I felt at my duty to give them an opportunity to share in my virtuous determination by frankly disclosing to them my plans and purposes toward Henry and John Harris I felt a friendship as strong as one man can feel for another for I could have died with and for them to them therefore with a suitable degree of caution I began to disclose my sentiments and plans sounding them the while on the subject of running away provided a good chance should offer I scarcely need tell the reader that I did my very best to imbue the minds of my dear friends with my own views and feelings thoroughly awakened now and with a definite vow upon me all my little reading which had any bearing on the subject of human rights was rendered available in my communications with my friends that to me jam of a book the Colombian orator with its eloquent orations and spicy dialogues denouncing oppression and slavery telling of what had been dared done and suffered by men to obtain the inestimable boon of liberty was still fresh in my memory and world into the ranks of my speech with the aptitude to outdrain soldiers going through the drill the fact is I here began my public speaking I canvassed with Henry and John the subject of slavery and dashed against it the condemning brand of God's eternal justice which it every hour violates my fellow servants were neither indifferent nor in act our feelings were more alike than our opinions all however were ready to act when a plan should be proposed show us how the thing is to be done said they and all else is clear we were all except Sandy quite free from slave holding priest craft it was in vain that we had been taught from the pulpit at St. Michael's the duty of obedience to our masters to recognize God as the author of our enslavement to regard running away and offense alike against God to deem our enslavement a merciful and beneficial arrangement to esteem our condition in this country a paradise to that from which we have been snatched in Africa to consider our hard hands and dark color as God's mark of displeasure and as pointing us out as the proper subjects of slavery that the relation of master and slave was one of reciprocal benefits that our work was not more thinking was serviceable to us I say it was in vain that the pulpit of St. Michael's had constantly inculcated these plausible doctrines nature laughed them to scorn from my own part I had now become altogether too big for my chains father Lawson's solemn words of what I ought to be and might be in the providence of God had not fallen dead on my soul I was fast verging toward manhood and the prophecies of my childhood were still unfulfilled the thought that year after year had passed away and my best resolutions to run away had failed and faded that I was still a slave and a slave too with chances for gaining my freedom diminished and still diminishing was not a matter to be slept over easily nor did I easily sleep over it but here came a new trouble thoughts and purposes so incendiary as those I now cherished could not agitate the mind long without danger of making themselves manifest to scrutinizing and unfriendly beholders I had reason to fear that my stable face might prove altogether to transparent for the safe concealment of my hazardous enterprise plans of greater moment have leaked through stone walls and revealed their projectors but here was no stone wall to hide my purpose I would have given my poor tell tale face for the immovable countenance of an Indian for it was far from being proof against the daily searching glances of those with whom I met it is the interest and business of slaveholders to study human nature with a view to practical results and many of them attain astonishing proficiency in discerning the thoughts and emotions of slaves they have to deal not with earth would or stone but with men and by every regard they have for their safety and prosperity they must study to know the material on which they are at work so much intellect as the slave holder has around him requires watching their safety depends upon their vigilance conscious of the injustice and wrong they are every hour perpetrating and knowing what they themselves would do if made the victims of such wrongs they are looking out for the first signs of the dread retribution of justice they watch therefore with skilled and practiced eyes and have learned to read with great accuracy the state of mind and heart of the slave through his sable face these uneasy centers are quick to inquire into the matter where the slave has earned unusual sobriety apparent abstraction sullenness and indifference indeed any mood out of the common way afford ground for suspicion and inquiry often relying on their superior position and wisdom they hector and torture the slave into a confession by affecting to know the truth of their accusations you've got the devil and you say they and we will whip them out of you I've often been put thus to the torture on bear suspicion this system has its disadvantages as well as their opposite the slave is sometimes whipped into the confession of offenses which he never committed the reader will see that the good old rule a man is to be held innocent until proved to be guilty does not hold good on the slave plantation suspicion and torture are the approved methods of getting at the truth here it was necessary for me therefore to keep a watch over my deportment thus the enemy should get the better of me but with all our caution and studied reserve I'm not sure that Mr. Freeland did not suspect that all was not right with us it did seem that he watched us more narrowly after the plan of escape had been conceived and discussed amongst us then seldom see themselves as others see them and while to ourselves everything connected with our contemplated escape appeared concealed Mr. Freeland may have with the peculiar prescience of a slave holder master the huge thought which was disturbing our peace in slavery I'm the more inclined to think that he suspected us because prudent as we were as I now look back I can see that many silly things very well calculated to awaken suspicion we were at times remarkably buoyant singing hymns and making joyous exclamations almost as triumphant in their tone as if we have reached a land of freedom and safety a keen observer might have detected in our repeated singing of oh Canaan sweet Canaan I'm bound for the land of Canaan something more than a hope of reaching heaven we meant north and the north was our Canaan I thought I heard them say there were lines in the way I don't expect to stay much longer here run to Jesus shun the danger I don't expect to stay much longer here was a favorite air and had a double meaning in the lips of some it meant the expectation of a speedy summons to a world of spirits but in the lips of our company it simply meant a speedy pilgrimage toward a free state and deliverance from all the evils and dangers of slavery I had succeeded in winning to my what slaveholders would call wicked scheme a company of five young men the very flower of the neighborhood each one of whom would have commanded one thousand dollars in the home market and New Orleans they would have brought fifteen hundred dollars a piece and perhaps more the names of our party were as follows Henry Harris John Harris brother to Henry Sandy Jenkins of root memory Charles Roberts and Henry Bailey I was the youngest but one of the party I had however the advantage of them all in experience and in the knowledge of letters this gave me great influence over them perhaps not one of them left to himself would have dreamed of escape as a possible thing not one of them was self moved no matter they all wanted to be free but the serious thought of running away had not entered into their minds until I won them to the undertaking they all were tolerably well off for slaves and had them hopes of being set free someday by their masters if anyone is to blame for disturbing the quiet of the slaves and slave masters of the neighborhood of St. Michael's I am the man I claim to be the instigator of my crime as the slave holders regarded and I kept life in it until life could be kept in it no longer pending the time of our contemplated departure out of our Egypt we met often by night and on every Sunday at these meetings we talked the matter over told our hopes and fears and the difficulties discovered or imagined and like men of sense we counted the cost of the enterprise to which we had ourselves these meetings must have resembled on a small scale the meetings of revolutionary conspirators in their primary condition we were plotting against our so-called lawful rulers with this difference that we sought our own good and not the harm of our enemies we did not seek to overthrow them but to escape from them as for Mr. Freeland we all liked him and would have lived with him as free men liberty was our aim and we had now come to think that we had a right to liberty against every obstacle even against the lives of our enslavers we had several words expressive of things important to us which we understood but which even if distinctly heard by an outsider would convey no certain meaning I have reasons for suppressing these passwords which the reader I hated the secrecy but where slavery is powerful and liberty is weak the latter is driven to concealment or to destruction the prospect was not always a bright one at times we were almost tempted to abandon the enterprise and to get back to that comparative peace of mind which even a man under the gallows might feel when all hope of escape had vanished quiet bondage was felt to be better than the doubts and uncertainties which now so sadly perplexed and disturbed us the infirmities of humanity generally were represented in our little band we were confident bold and determined at times and again doubting timid and wavering whistling like the boy in the graveyard to keep away the spirits to look at the map and observe the proximity of eastern shore Maryland to Delaware and Pennsylvania seemed to the reader quite absurd to regard the proposed escape as a formidable undertaking but to understand someone has said a man must stand under the real distance was great enough but the imagined distance was to our ignorance even greater every slave holder seeks to impress his slave with a belief in the boundlessness of slave territory and have his own almost illimitable power the big and indistinct notions of the geography of the country the distance however is not the chief trouble the nearer are the lines of a slave state and the borders of our free one the greater the peril hired kidnappers infest these borders then too we knew that merely reaching a free state did not free us that wherever caught we could be returned to slavery we could see no spot on this side the ocean where we could be free we heard of Canada the real canan of the American bond men simply as a country to which the wild goose and the swan repaired at the end of winter to escape the heat of summer but not as the home of man I knew something of theology but nothing of geography I really did not at that time know that there was a state of New York or a state of Massachusetts I'd heard of Pennsylvania, Delaware and New Jersey and all the southern states that were significant of the free states generally New York City was our northern limit and to go there and to be forever harassed with the liability of being hunted down and return to slavery with the certainty of being treated 10 times worse than we had ever been treated before was a prospect far from delightful and it might well cause some hesitation about engaging in the enterprise the case sometimes to our excited visions did thus at every gate through which we had to pass we saw a watchman at every ferry a guard on every bridge a sentinel and in every wood a patrol or slave hunter we were hemmed in on every side the good to be sought and the evil to be shunned were flung in the balance and weighed against each other on the one hand there stood slavery a stern reality glaring frightfully upon us with the blood of millions in his polluted skirts terrible to behold greedily devouring our hard earnings and feeding himself upon our flesh here was the evil from which to escape on the other hand far away back in the hazy distance were all forms seen but shadows under the flickering light of the north star behind some craggy hill or snow covered mountain stood a doubtful freedom half frozen beckoning us to her icy domain this was the good to be sought the inequality was as great as that between certainty and uncertainty this in itself was enough to stagger us but when we came to survey the untrodden road and conjecture the many possible difficulties we were appalled and at times as I have said were upon the point of giving over the struggle altogether the reader can have little idea of the phantoms of trouble which flit in such circumstances before the uneducated mind of the slave upon either side we saw grim death assuming a variety of horrid shapes now it was starvation causing us in a strange and friendless land to eat our own flesh now we were contending with the waves for our journey was in part by water and were drowned now we were hunted by dogs and overtaken and torn to pieces by their merciless things we were stung by scorpions chased by wild beasts bitten by snakes and worst of all after having succeeded in swimming rivers encountering wild beasts sleeping in the woods with hunger cold heat and nakedness we suppose ourselves to be overtaken by hired kidnappers who in the name of the law and for their thrice accursed reward with perchance bar upon us kill some wound others and capture all this dark picture drawn by ignorance and fear at times greatly shook our determination and not unfrequently caused us to rather bear those ills we had than to fly to others which we knew not of I'm not disposed to magnify this circumstance in my experience and yet I think I shall seem to be so disposed to the reader no man can tell the intense agony which is felt by the slave when wavering on the point of making his escape all that he has is at stake and even that which he has not is at stake also the life which he has may be lost and the liberty which he seeks may not be gained Patrick Henry to a listening Senate thrilled by his magic eloquence and ready to stand by him in his boldest flights could say give me liberty or give me death and this saying was a sublime one even for a free man but incomparably more sublime is the same sentiment when practically asserted by men accustomed to the lash and chain men whose sensibilities must have become more or less deadened by their bondage with us it was a doubt for liberty at best that we sought and a certain lingering death in the rice swamps and sugar fields if we failed life is not lightly regarded by men of sane minds it is precious alike to the pauper and to the prince to the slave and to his master and yet I believe there was not one among us who would not rather have been shot down than pass away life in hopeless bondage in the progress of our preparations sandy the root man became troubled he began to have dreams and some of them were very distressing one of these which happened on a Friday night was to him a great significance and I'm quite ready to confess that I felt somewhat damped by myself he said I dreamed last night that I was roused from sleep by strange noises like the voices of a swarm of angry birds that caused a roar as they passed which fell upon my ear like a coming gale on the tops of the trees looking up to see what it could mean said sandy I saw you Frederick in the claws of a huge bird surrounded by a large number of birds of all colors and sizes these were all picking at you while you with your arms seem to be trying to protect your eyes passing over me the birds flew in a southwestern direction and I watched them until they were clean out of sight now I saw this as plainly as I now see you and further honey watch the Friday night dream there is something in it shows you bone day is indeed honey I confess I did not like this dream but I threw off concern about it by attributing it to the general excitement and perturbation consequent upon our contemplated plan of escape I could not however shake off its effect at once I felt that it voted me no good sandy was unusually emphatic and oracular and his manner had much to do with the impression made upon me the plan of escape which I recommended and to which my comrades ascended was to take a large canoe owned by Mr. Hamilton and on the Saturday night previous to the Easter holidays launch out into the Chesapeake Bay and paddle for its head a distance of 70 miles with all our might our course on reaching this point was to turn the canoe adrift and bend our steps toward the north star till we reached a free state there were several objections to this plan one was the danger from gales on the bay in rough weather the waters of the Chesapeake are much agitated and there is danger in a canoe of being swamped by the waves another objection was that the canoe would soon be missed the absent persons would at once be suspected of having taken it and we should be pursued by some of the fast sailing bay craft out of St. Michael's then again if we reached the head of the bay and turn the canoe adrift she might prove a guide to our track and bring the land hunters after us these and other objections were set aside by the stronger ones which could be urged against every other plan that could then be suggested on the water we had a chance of being regarded as fishermen in the service of a master on the other hand so that we could bring the land route through the counties and joining Delaware we should be subjected to all manner of interruptions and many very disagreeable questions which might give us serious trouble any white man is authorized to stop a man of color on any road and examine him and arrest him if he so desires by this arrangement many abuses considered such even by slave holders occur cases have been known where freemen have been served by a pack of ruffians and on the presentation of the papers the ruffians have torn them up and seized their victim and sold them to a life of endless bondage the week before our intended start I wrote a pass for each of our party giving them permission to visit Baltimore during the Easter holidays the pass ran after this manner this is to certify that I the undersigned have given the bearer my servant John full liberty to go to Baltimore to spend the Easter holidays W. H. near St. Michael's Talbot County Maryland although we were not going to Baltimore and we're intending to land east of North Point in the direction where I had seen the Philadelphia steamers go these passes might be made useful to us in the lower part of the bay while steering toward Baltimore these were not however to be shown by us until all other answers failed to satisfy the inquirer we were all fully alive to the importance of being calm and self-possessed when accosted if accosted we should be and we more times than one rehearse to each other how we should behave in the hour of trial those were long tedious days and nights the suspense was painful in the extreme to balance probabilities where life and liberty hang on the result required steady nerves I panted for action and was glad when the day at the close of which we were to start dawned upon us sleeping the night before was out of the question I probably felt more deeply than any of my companions because I was the instigator of the movement the responsibility of the whole enterprise rested on my shoulders the glory of success and the shame and confusion of failure could not be matters of indifference to me our food was prepared our clothes were packed up we were all ready to go and the patient for Saturday morning considering that the last morning of our bondage I cannot describe the tempest on too much of my brain that morning the reader were pleased to bear in mind that in a slave state an unsuccessful runaway is not only subjected to cruel torture and sold away to the far south but he is frequently executed by the other slaves he is charged with making the condition of the other slaves intolerable by laying them all under the suspicion of their masters subjecting them to greater vigilance and imposing greater limitations on their privileges I dreaded murmurs from this quarter it is difficult to for a slave master to believe that slaves escaping have not been aided in their flight by someone of their fellow slaves when therefore a slave is missing every slave on the place is closely examined as to his knowledge of the undertaking and they are sometimes even tortured to make them disclose what they are knowing of such escape our anxiety grew more and more intense as the time of our intended departure for the north do not it was truly felt to be a matter of life and death with us and we fully intended to fight as well as run if necessity should occur for that extremity but the trial hour was not yet come it was easy to resolve but not so easy to act I expected there might be some drawing back at the last it was natural to be therefore during the intervening time I lost no opportunity to explain away difficulties to remove doubts to dispel fears and to inspire all with firmness it was too late to look back and now was the time to go forward like most of them in we had done the talking part of our work long and well and the time had come to act as if we were in earnest and meant to be as true in action as in words I did not forget to appeal to the my comrades by telling them that if after having solemnly promised to go as they had done they now failed to make the attempt they would in effect brand themselves with cowardice and might as well sit down fold their arms and acknowledge themselves as fit only to be slaves this detestable character all were unwilling to assume every man except Sandy he much to our regret with Drew stood firm and at our last meeting we pledged ourselves afresh in the most solemn manner but at the time appointed we would certainly start on our long journey for a free country this meeting was in the middle of the week at the end of which we were to start early that morning we went as usual to the field but with hearts that beat quickly and anxiously anyone intimately acquainted with us might have seen that all was not well with us and that some monster lingered in our thoughts our work that morning was the same as it had been for days past drawing out and spreading manure while thus engaged I had a sudden present in it which flashed upon me like lightning in a dark night revealing to the lonely traveler the golf before and the enemy behind I instantly turned to Sandy Jenkins who was near me and said to him Sandy we are betrayed something has just told me so I felt as sure of it as if the officers were there in sight Sandy said man that is strange but I feel just as you do if my mother then long in a grave had appeared before me and told me that we were betrayed I could not at that moment have felt more certain of the fact in a few minutes after this the long low and distant notes of the horn summoned us from the field to breakfast I felt as one may be supposed to feel before being led forth to be executed for some great offense I wanted no breakfast but I went with the other slaves toward the house for forms sake my feelings were not disturbed as to the right of running away on that point I had no trouble whatever my anxiety arose from a sense of the consequences of failure in 30 minutes after that vivid present in it came the apprehended crash I'm reaching the house for breakfast and glancing my eye toward the lane gate the worst was it once made known the lane gate of Mr. Freeland's house is nearly a half mile from the door and much shaded by the heavy wood which boarded the main road I was however able to describe four white men and two colored men approaching the white men were on horseback and the colored men were walking behind and seemed to be tied it is all over with us that we are surely betrayed I now became composed or at least comparatively so and calmly awaited the result I watched the ill omen company till I saw them enter the gate the road flight was impossible and I made it my mind to stand and meet the evil whatever it might be for I was now not without a slight hope that things might turn differently from what I at first expected in a few moments in came Mr. William Hamilton riding very rapidly and evidently much excited he was in the habit of riding very slowly and was seldom known to gallop his horse this time his horse was nearly at full speed causing the dust to roll thick Mr. Hamilton though one of the most resolute men in the whole neighborhood was nevertheless a remarkably mild-spoken man and even when greatly excited his language was cool and circumspect he came to the door and inquired if Mr. Freeland was in I told him that Mr. Freeland was at the barn off the gentleman road toward the barn with unwanted speed Mary the cook was at a loss to know what was the matter and I did not profess any skill in making her understand I knew she would have united as readily as anyone in cursing me for bringing trouble into the family so I held my peace leaving matters to develop themselves without my assistance in a few moments Mr. Hamilton and Mr. Freeland came down from the barn to the house and just as they made their appearance in the front yard three men who proved to be constables came dashing into the lane on horseback as if summoned by a sign requiring quick work a few seconds brought them into the front yard where they hastily dismounted and tied their horses this done they joined Mr. Freeland and Mr. Hamilton who were standing a short distance from the kitchen a few moments were spent as if in consulting how to proceed and then the whole party walked up to the kitchen door there was now no one in the kitchen but myself and John Harris Henry and Sandy were yet at the barn Mr. Freeland came inside the kitchen door and with an agitated voice called me by name and told me to come forward that there were some gentlemen who wished to see me I stepped toward them at the door and asked what they wanted when the constables grabbed me and told me that I had better not resist that I had been in a scrape or was said to have been in one that they were merely going to take me where I could be examined that they were going to carry me to St. Michael's to have me brought before my master they further said that in case the evidence against me was not true I should be acquitted I was now firmly tied and completely at the mercy of my captors resistance was idle they were five in number armed to the very teeth when they had secured me they next turned to John Harris and then a few moments in tying him as firmly as they had already tied me they next turned toward Henry Harris who had now returned from the barn crossed her hands said the constables to Henry I won't said Henry in a voice so firm and clear and in a manner so determined as for a moment to arrest all proceedings won't you cross your hands said Tom Graham the constable no I won't said Henry with increasing emphasis Mr. Hamilton Mr. Freeland and the officers now came near to Henry two of the constables drew out their shining pistols and swore by the name of God that he should cross his hands or they would shoot him down each of these hydrophians now cocked their pistols and with fingers apparently on the triggers presented to the breast of the unarmed slave saying at the same time if he did not cross his hands they would blow his darned heart out of him shoot shoot me said Henry you can't kill me but once shoot shoot and be darned I won't be tied this the brave fellow said in a voice as defined and heroic in his tone as was the language itself and at the moment of saying this with the pistols at his very breast he raised his arms and dashed them from the puny hands of his assassins the weapons flying in opposite directions now came the struggle all hands now rushed upon the brave fellow and after beating him for some time they succeeded in overpowering and tying him Henry put me to shame he fought and fought bravely John and I had made no resistance the fact is I never see much use in fighting unless there is a reasonable probability of whipping somebody yet there was something almost providential in the resistance made by the gallant Henry before that resistance every soul of us would have been hurried off to the far south just a moment previous to the trouble with Henry Mr. Hamilton mildly said and this gave me the unmistakable clue to the cause of our arrest perhaps we had now better make a search for those protections which we understand Frederick has written for himself and the rest had these passes been found they would have been point blank proof against us we found all the statements of our betrayer thanks to the resistance of Henry the excitement produced by the scuffle drew all the attention in that direction and I succeeded in flinging my pass unobserved into the fire the confusion attendant upon the scuffle and the apprehension of further trouble perhaps that our captors do forego for the present and he searched for those protections which Frederick was said to have written for his companions so we were not yet convicted that our purpose to run away and it was evident that there was some doubt on the part of all whether we have been guilty of such a purpose just as we were all completely tied and about ready to start toward St. Michael's and then stood jail Mrs. Betsy Freeland mother to William who was very much attached after the southern fashion to Henry and John they having been reared from childhood in her house came to the kitchen door with her hands full of biscuits for we had not had time to take our breakfast between Henry and John this time the lady made the following parting address to me looking and pointing her bony finger at me you devil, you yellow devil it was you that put it into the heads of Henry and John to run away before you, you long-legged yellow devil Henry and John would never have thought of running away I gave the lady a look which called forth a scream of mingled wrath and terror as she slammed the kitchen door and went in leaving me with the rest of my own broken voice could the kind reader have been quietly riding along the main road to or from east in that morning his eye would have met a painful sight he would have seen five young men guilty of no crime save that a preferring liberty to a life of bondage drawn along the public highway firmly bound together trampling through dust and heat barefooted and bareheaded fastened to three strong horses whose riders were armed to the teeth with pistols and daggers on their way to prison like felons and suffering every possible insult from the crowds of idle vulgar people who clustered around and heartlessly made their failure the occasion for all manner of rivalry in sport as I looked upon this crowd of vile persons and saw myself and friends thus assailed and persecuted I could not help seeing the fulfillment of Sandy's dream I was in the hands of moral vultures and firmly held in their sharp talons and was being hurried away toward Easton in a southeastily direction amid the jeers of new birds of the same feather through every neighborhood we passed it seemed to me and this shows the good understanding between the slaveholders and their allies that everybody we met knew the cause of our arrest and were out awaiting how passing by to feast their vindictive eyes on our misery and to gloat over our ruin some said I ought to be hanged and others I ought to be burnt others I ought to have the hide taken from my back while no one gave us a kind word or a sympathizing look except the poor slaves who were lifting their heavy hose and who cautiously glanced at us through the post and rail fences behind which they were at work our sufferings that morning can be more easily imagined than described our hopes were all blasted out of blow the cruel injustice the victorious crime and the helplessness of innocence led me to ask in my ignorance and weakness where now is the God of justice and mercy and why have these wicked men the power thus to trample upon our rights and to insult our feelings and yet in the next moment came the consoling thought the day of the oppressor will come at last of one thing I could be glad not one of my dear friends upon whom I had brought this great calamity either by word or look reproach me for having led them into it we were a band of brothers and never dear to each other than now the thought which gave us the most pain was the probable separation which would now take place in case we were sold off to the far south as we were likely to be while the constables were looking forward Henry and I being fastened together could occasionally exchange a word without being observed by the kidnappers who had us in charge what shall I do with my past that Henry eat it with your biscuits that I they won't do to tear it up we were now near at St. Michael's the direction concerning the passes around and executed own nothing said I own nothing was passed around and enjoined and assented to our confidence in each other was unshaken and we were quite resolved to succeed or fail together as much after the calamity which had befallen us as before I'm reaching St. Michael's we underwent a sort of examination at my master's store and it was evident to my mind that master Thomas suspected the truthfulness of the evidence upon which they had acted against us and that he only affected to some extent the positiveness with which he asserted our guilt there was nothing said by any of our company which could in any manner prejudice our cause and there was hope yet that we should be able to return to our homes if for nothing else at least to find out the guilty man or woman who had betrayed us to this end we all denied that we have been guilty of intended flight master Thomas said that the evidence he had of our intention to run away we would have to hang us in a case of murder but said I the cases are not equal if murder were committed someone must have committed it the thing is done in our case nothing has been done we have not run away whereas the evidence against us we were quietly at our work I talked thus with unusual freedom to bring out the evidence against us for we all wanted above all things to know the guilty wretch who had betrayed us that we might have something tangible upon which to pour something which dropped in the course of the talk it appeared that there was but one witness against us and that that witness could not be produced master Thomas would not tell us who his informant was but we suspected and suspected one person only several circumstances seem to point Sandy out as our betrayer his entire knowledge of our plans his participation in them his withdrawal from us his dream and his simultaneous presentiment that we were betrayed for taking were calculated to turn suspicion toward him and yet we could not suspect him we all left him too well to think it possible that he could have betrayed us so we rolled the guilt on other shoulders we were literally dragged that morning behind horses a distance of 15 miles and placed in the eastern jail we were glad to reach the end of our journey for our pathway had been the scene of insult and mortification such as the power of public opinion that it is hard even for the innocent to feel the happy consolations of innocence when they fall under the maledictions of this power how could we regard ourselves as in the right when all about us denounced us as criminals and had the power and the disposition to treat us as such in jail we were placed under the care of Mr. Joseph Graham the sheriff of the county Henry and John and myself were placed in one room and Henry Bailey and Charles Roberts in another by themselves this separation was intended to deprive us of the advantage of concert and to prevent trouble in jail once shut up a new set of tormentors came upon us a swarm of imps in human shape the slave traders, deputy slave traders and agents of slave traders that gather in every country town of the state watching for chances to buy human flesh as buzzers eat carrion flocked in upon us to ascertain if our masters have placed us in jail to be sold such a set of debased and billinous creatures I never saw before and hope never to see again I felt myself surrounded as by a pack of fiends fresh from perdition they laughed, leered and grinned at us saying ah boys we've got you haven't we so you were about to make your escape where were you going to after taunting us and juring at us as long as they liked they one by one subjected us to an examination with a view to ascertain our value feeling our arms and legs and shaking us by the shoulders to see if we were sound and healthy impudently asking us how we would like to have them for masters to such questions we weren't very much to their annoyance quite dumb disdaining to answer them for one I detested the whiskey bloated gamblers in human flesh and I believe I was as much detested by them in turn one fellow told me if he had me he would cut the devil out of me pretty quick these negro buyers are very offensive to the gentile southern Christian public they are looked upon in respectable Maryland society is necessary but detestable characters as a class they are hardened ruffians made such by nature and by occupation their ears are made quite familiar with the agonizing cry about raged and woe smitten humanity their eyes are forever open to human misery they walk amid desecrated affections exalted virtue and blasted hopes they have grown intimate with vice and blood they gloat over the wildest illustrations of their soul damning an earth polluting business and our moral pests yes they are legitimate fruit of slavery and it is a puzzle to make out a case of greater villainy for them than for the slaveholders who make such a class possible they are mere hucksters of the surplus slave produce of Maryland and Virginia coarse cruel and swaggering bullies their very breathing is of blasphemy and blood aside from these slave buyers who infested the prison from time to time our quarters were much more comfortable than we had any right to expect they would be our allowance of food was small and coarse but our room was the best in the jail neat and spacious and with nothing about it necessarily reminding us of being in prison but its heavy locks and bolts and the black iron lattice work at the windows we were prisoners of state with most slaves who are put into that eastern jail but the place was not one of contentment both bars and greater windows are not acceptable to freedom loving people of any color the suspense too was painful every step on the stairway was listened to in the hope that the comer would cast a ray of light on our fate we would have given the hair off our heads for half a dozen words with one of the waiters in Saul Lowe's hotel such waiters were in the way of hearing at the table the probable course of things we could see them fitting about in their white jackets in front of this hotel but could speak to none of them soon after the holidays were over contrary to all our expectations next year's Hamilton and Freeland came up to Easton not to make a bargain with the Georgia traitors nor to send us up to Austin old folk as as usual in the case of runaway slaves but to release Charles Henry Harris in prison and this too without the inflection of a single blow I was now left entirely alone in prison the innocent have been taken and the guilty left my friends were separated from me and apparently forever this circumstance caused me more pain than any other incident connected with our capture and imprisonment 39 lashes on my naked and bleeding back would have been joyfully born in preference to this separation from these the friends of my youth and yet I could not but feel that I was the victim of something like justice why should these young men who were led into this scheme by me suffer as much as the instigator I felt glad that they were released from prison and from the dread prospect of a life or death I should rather say in the rice swamps it is due to the noble Henry to say that he seemed almost as reluctant to leave the prison with me in it as he was to be tied and dragged to prison but he and the rest knew that we should in all the likelihoods of the case be separated in the event of being sold and since we are now completely in the hands of our owners we all concluded it would be best to go peaceably home not until this last separation dear reader had I touched those profounder depths of desolation which it is the lot of slaves often to reach I was solitary in the world and alone within the walls of our stone prison left to a fate of lifelong misery I'd hoped and expected much for months before but my hopes and expectations were now withered and blasted the ever dreaded slave life in Georgia Louisiana and Alabama from which escape is next to impossible now in my loneliness stared me in the face the possibility of ever becoming anything but an object slave a mere machine in the hands of an owner had now fled and it seemed to me it had fled forever a life of living death beset with the innumerable horrors of the cotton field and the sugar plantation seemed to be my doom the fiends who rushed into the prison when we were first put there continued to visit me and to ply me with questions and with their tantalizing remarks I was insulted but helpless kingly alive to the demands of justice and liberty but with no means of asserting them to talk to those imps about justice and mercy would have been as absurd as to reason with bears and tigers lead and steal are the only arguments that they understand after remaining in this life of misery and despair about a week which by the way seemed a month master Thomas very much to my surprise and greatly to my relief came to the prison and took me out for the purpose as he said of sending me to Alabama with a friend of his who would emancipate me at the end of eight years I was glad enough to get out of prison but I had no faith in the story that this friend of captain all would emancipate me at the end of the time indicated besides I never had heard of his having a friend in Alabama and I took the announcement simply as an easy and comfortable method of shipping me off to the far south there was a little scandal to connected with the idea of one Christian selling another to the Georgia traders while it was deemed every way proper for them to sell to others I thought this friend in Alabama was an invention to meet this difficulty for master Thomas was quite jealous of his Christian reputation however unconcerned he might be about his real Christian character in these remarks however it is possible that I do master Thomas all injustice he certainly did not exhaust his power upon me in the case but acted upon the whole very generously considering the nature of my offense he had the power and the provocation to send me without reserve into the very ever glaze of Florida beyond the remotest hope of emancipation and his refusal to exercise that power must be set down to his credit after lingering about St. Michael's a few days and no friend from Alabama making his appearance to take me there master Thomas decided to send me back again to Baltimore to live with his brother Hugh with whom he was now at peace possibly he became so by his profession of religion at the camp meeting in the bay side master Thomas told me that he wished to me to go to Baltimore and learn a trade and that if I behaved myself properly he would emancipate me at 25 thanks for this one beam of hope in the future the promise had but one fault it seemed too good to be true in a chapter 19 chapter 20 of my bondage and my freedom by Frederick Douglass this LibriVox recording is in the public domain apprenticeship life nothing lost by the attempt to run away comrades in their old homes reasons for sending author away returned to Baltimore contrast between Tommy and that of his colored companion trials in Gardner's shipyard desperate fight its causes conflict between white and black labor description of the outrage colored testimony nothing conduct of master Hughes spirit of slavery in Baltimore author's condition improves new associations slaveholders right to take his wages how to make a contented slave well dear reader I'm not as you may have already inferred a loser by the general upster described in the foregoing chapter the little domestic revolution notwithstanding the sudden snub it got by the treachery of somebody I dare not say or think who did not after all end so disastrously as when in the iron cage at Easton I conceived it would the prospect from that point did look about as dark as any that ever cast its gloom over the vision of the anxious outlooking human spirit all as well that ends well my affectionate comrades Henry and John Harris are still with Mr. William Freeland Charles Roberts and Henry Bailey are safe at their homes I'm not there for anything to regret on their account their masters have mercifully forgiven them probably on the ground suggested in the spirited little speech of Mrs. Freeland made to me just before leaving for the jail namely that they had been allured into the wicked scheme of making their escape by me and that but for me they would never have dreamed of a thing so shocking my friends had nothing to regret either for while they were watched more closely on account of what had happened they were doubtless treated more kindly than before and got new assurances that they would be legally emancipated someday provided their behavior should make them deserving from that time forward not a blow as I learned was struck any one of them as for master William Freeland good unsuspecting so he did not believe that we were waiting to run away at all having given as he thought no occasion to his boys to leave him he could not think it probable that they had entertained to design so grievous this however was not the view taken of the matter by mass Billy as we used to call the soft spoken but crafty and resolute Mr. William Hamilton he had no doubt that the crime had been meditated and regarding me as the instigator of it he frankly told master Thomas that he must remove me from that neighborhood or he would shoot me down he would not have one so dangerous as Frederick tampering with his slaves William Hamilton was not a man whose threat might be safely disregarded I have no doubt that he would have proved as good as his word had the warning given not been promptly taken he was furious at the thought of such a piece of high-handed theft as we were about to perpetrate the stealing of our own bodies and souls the feasibility of the plan too could the first steps have been taken was marvelously plain besides this was a new idea this use of the bay slaves escaping until now had taken to the woods they had never dreamed of profaning and abusing the waters of the noble Chesapeake by making them the highway from slavery to freedom here was a broad road of destruction to slavery which before had been looked upon as a wall of security by slaveholders but master Billy could not get Mr. Freeland to see matters precisely as he did nor could he get master Thomas so excited as he was himself the latter I must say it to his credit showed much humane feeling in his part of the transaction and atone for much harsh cruel and unreasonable in his former treatment of me and others his clemency was quite unusual and unlooked for cousin Tom told me that while I was in jail master Thomas was very unhappy and that the night before his going up to release me he'd walk the floor nearly all night even seen great distress that very tempting offers had been made to him by the negro traders but he had rejected them all saying that money could not tempt him to sell me myself all this I can easily believe for he seemed quite reluctant to send me away at all he told me that he only consented to do so because of the very strong prejudice against me in the neighborhood and that he feared for my safety if I remained there thus after three years spent in the country roughing it in the field and experiencing all sorts of hardships I was again permitted to return to Baltimore the very place of others short of a free state where I most desired to live the three years spent in the country had made some difference in me and in the household of master Hugh little Tommy was no longer little Tommy and I was not the slender lad who had left for the eastern shore just three years before the loving relations between me and mass Tommy were broken up he was no longer dependent on me for protection but felt himself a man with other and more suitable associates in childhood he scarcely considered me inferior to himself certainly as good as any other boy with whom he played but the time had come when his friend must become his slave so we were cold and we parted it was a sad thing to me that loving each other as we had done we must now take different roads to him a thousand avenues were open education had made him acquainted with all the treasures of the world and liberty had flung open the gates there unto but I who had attended him seven years and had watched over him with the care of a big brother fighting his battles in the street and shielding him from harm to an extent which had induced his mother to say oh Tommy is always safe when he is with Freddy must be confined to a single condition he could grow and become a man I could grow though I could not become a man I must remain all my life a minor a mere boy Thomas all junior obtained a situation on board the brig tweed and went to sea I know not what has become of him he certainly has my good wishes for his welfare and prosperity there were few persons to whom I was more sincerely attached than to him and there are few in the world I would be more pleased to meet very soon after I went to Baltimore to live master I succeeded in getting me hired to Mr. William Gardner an extensive shipbuilder on Phel's point I was placed here to learn to caulk a trade of which I already had some knowledge gained while in Mr. Hugh Alts shipyard when he was a master builder gardeners however proved a very unfavorable place for the accomplishment of that object Mr. Gardner was that season engaged in building two large man of war vessels particularly for the Mexican government these vessels were to be launched in the month of July of that year and in failure thereof Mr. G would forfeit a very considerable sum of money so when I entered the shipyard always hurry and driving there were in the yard about 100 men of these about 70 or 80 were regular carpenters privileged men speaking of my condition here I wrote years ago and I have now no reason to measure as follows there was no time to learn anything every man had to do that which he knew how to do in entering the shipyard my orders for Mr. Gardner were to do whatever the carpenters commanded me to do this was placing me at the beck and call of about 75 men I was to regard all these as masters their word was to be my law my situation was a most trying one at times I needed a dozen pair of hands it was called a dozen ways in the space of a single minute three or four voices would strike my ear at the same moment it was Fred come help me to can't this timber here Fred come carry this timber yonder Fred bring that roller here Fred go get a fresh can of water Fred come help saw off the end of this timber Fred go quick and get the crowbar Fred hold on to the end of this fall Fred go to the blacksmith's shop and get a new punch hurrah Fred run and bring me a cold chisel I say Fred bear a hand and get up a fire as quick as lightning under that steam box hello nigger come turn this grindstone come come move move and browse this timber forward I say dark you blast your eyes why don't you heat up some pitch hello hello hello three voices at the same time come here go there hold on where you are damn you if you move on knock your brains out such dear reader is a glance at the school which was mine during the first eight months of my stay at Baltimore at the end of eight months Master Hugh refused longer to allow me to remain with Mr Gardner the circumstance which led to his taking me away was a brutal outrage committed upon me by the white apprentices of the shipyard the fight was a desperate one and I came out of it most shockingly mangled I was cut and bruised in sundry places and my left eye was nearly knocked out of its socket the facts leading to this barber's outrage upon me illustrate a phase of slavery destined to become an important element in the overthrow of the slave system and I may therefore state them with some minuteness that phase is this the conflict of slavery with the interests of the white mechanics and laborers of the south in the country this conflict is not so apparent but in cities such as Baltimore Richmond New Orleans Mobile et cetera it is seen pretty clearly the slaveholders with a craftiness peculiar to themselves by encouraging enmity of the poor laboring white man against the blacks succeeds in making the said white man almost as much a slave as the black slave himself the difference between the white slave and the black slave is this the latter belongs to one slave holder and the former belongs to all the slaveholders collectively the white slave has taken from him by indirection what the black slave has taken from him directly and without ceremony both are plundered and by the same plunderers the slave is robbed by his master of all his earnings above what is required for his bare physical necessities and the white man is robbed by the slave system of the just results of his labor because he is flung into competition with a class of laborers who work without wages the competition and its injurious consequences will one day array the non slave holding white people of the slave states against the slave system and make them the most effective workers against the great evil at present the slaveholders blind them to this competition by keeping alive their prejudice against the slaves as men not against them as slaves they appeal to their pride often denouncing emancipation as tending to place the white working men on an equality with negroes and by this means they succeed in drawing off the minds of the poor whites from the real fact that by the rich slave master they are already regarded as but a single remove from equality with the slave the impression is cunningly made that slavery is the only power that can prevent the laboring white man from falling to the level of the slaves poverty and degradation to make this enmity deep and broad between the slave and the poor white man the latter is allowed to abuse and whip the formant without hindrance but as I have suggested the state of facts prevails mostly in the country in the city of Baltimore there are not unfrequent murmurs that educating the slaves to be mechanics may in the end give slave masters power to dispense with the services of the poor white man altogether but with characteristic dread of offending the slave holders these poor white mechanics in Mr. Gardner's shipyard instead of applying the natural honest remedy for the apprehended evil and objecting at once to work there by the side of slaves made a cowardly attack upon the free colored mechanics saying they were eating the bread which should be eaten by American free men and swearing that they would not work with them the feeling was really against having their labor brought into competition with that of the colored people at all but it was too much to strike directly at the interest of the slave holders and therefore proving their servility and cowardice they dealt their blows on the poor colored free man and aimed to prevent him from serving himself in the evening of life with the trade with which he had served his master in the more vigorous portion of his days had they succeeded in driving the black free men out of the shipyard they would have determined also upon the removal of the black slaves the feeling was very bitter toward all colored people in Baltimore about this time 1836 and they free and slave suffered all manner of insult and wrong until a very little while before I went there white and black ship carpenters work side by side in the shipyards of Mr. Gardner, Mr. Duncan Mr. Walter Price and Mr. Rob nobody seemed to see any impropriety in it to outward seeming all hands were well satisfied some of the blacks were first rate workmen and were given jobs requiring the highest skill all at once however the white carpenters knocked off and swore that they would no longer work on the same stage with free Negroes taking advantage of the heavy contract resting upon Mr. Gardner to have the war vessels for Mexico ready to launch in July and of the difficulty of getting other hands at that season of the year they swore they would not strike another blow for him unless he would discharge his free colored workmen now although this movement did not extend to me in form it did reach me in fact the spirit which it awakened was one of malice and bitterness toward colored people generally and I suffered with the rest and suffered severely apprentices very soon began to feel it to be degrading to work with me they began to put on high looks and to talk contemptuously and maliciously of the Negroes saying that they would take the country that they ought to be killed encouraged by the cowardly workmen who knowing me to be a slave made no issue with Mr. Gardner about my being there these young men did their utmost to make it impossible for me to stay they seldom called me to do anything without coupling with the call with the curse and Edward North the biggest in everything Raskall that he included ventured to strike me whereupon I picked him up and threw him into the dock whenever any of them struck me I struck back again regardless of the consequences I could manage any of them singly and while I could keep them from combining I succeeded very well in the conflict which ended my stay at Mr. Gardner's I was beset by four of them at once Ned North, Ned Hayes and Tom Humphries two of them were as large as myself and they came near killing me and brought daylight the attack was made suddenly and simultaneously one came in front armed with a brick there was one at each side and one behind and they closed up around me I was struck on all sides and while I was attending to those in front I received a blow on my head from behind dealt with a heavy hand spike I was completely stunned by the blow and fell heavily on the ground among the timbers taking advantage of my fall they rushed upon me and began to pound me with their fists I let them lay on for a while after I came to myself with a view of gaining strength they did me little damage so far but finally getting tired of that sport I gave a sudden surge and despite their rate I rose to my hands and knees just as I did this one of their number I know not which planted a blow with his boot in my left eye which for a time seemed to have burst my eyeball when they saw my eye completely closed my face covered with blood and eye staggering under the stunning blows they had given me they left me as soon as I gathered sufficient strength I picked up the hand spike and madly enough attempted to pursue them but here the carpenters interfered and compelled me to give up my frenzy pursuit it was impossible to stand against so many dear reader you can hardly believe the statement but it is true and therefore I write it down not fewer than fifty white men stood by and saw this brutal and shameless outrage committed and not a man of them all interposed a single word of mercy there were four against one and that one's face was beaten and battered most horribly no one said that is enough but some cried out kill him kill him kill the damn nigger knock his brains out he struck a white person I mentioned this inhuming outcry and the spirit of the times that gardeners shipyard and indeed in Baltimore generally in 1836 as I look back to this period I'm almost amazed that I was not murdered outright in that shipyard so murderous was the spirit which prevailed there on two occasions while there I came near losing my life I was driving bolts in the hole through the Kielsen with Hayes in its course the bolt bent Hayes cursed me and said that it was my blow which bent the bolt I denied this and charged it upon him in a fit of rage he seized an ads and darted toward me I met him with a mall and parried his blow where I should have then lost my life a son of old Tom Landman the latter's double murder I have elsewhere charged upon him in the spirit of his miserable father made an assault upon me but the blow with his mall missed me after the united assault of north Stuart Hayes and Humphreys finding that the carpenters were as bitter toward me as the apprentices and that the latter were probably set on by the former I found my only chance for life was in flight I succeeded in getting away without an additional blow to strike a white man was death by Lynch law in Gardner's shipyard there was there much of any other law toward colored people at that time in any other part of Maryland the whole sentiment of Baltimore was murderous after making my escape from the shipyard I went straight home and related the story of the outraged master Hugh Alde and it is due to him to say that his conduct though he was not a religious man was every way more humane than that of his brother Thomas when I went to the latter in a somewhat similar plight from the hands of brother Edward Covey he listened attentively to my narration of the circumstances leading to the rough family outrage and gave many proofs of his strong indignation at what he had done he was a rough but manly hearted fellow and at this time his best nature showed itself the heart of my once almost over kind Mr. Sophia was again melted in pity toward me my popped out I and my scarred and blood covered face moved the dear lady to tears she kindly drew a chair by me and with friendly consoling words she took water and washed the blood from my face no mother's hand could have been more tender than hers she bound up my head covered my wounded eye with a lean piece of fresh beef it was almost compensation for the murderous assault and my suffering that it furnished an occasion for the manifestation once more of the originally characteristic kindness of my mistress her affectionate heart was not yet dead so much hardened by time and by circumstances as for master Hughes part as I've said he was furious about it and he gave expression to his fury in the usual forms of speech in that locality he poured curses on the heads of the whole shipyard company and swore that he would have satisfaction for the outrage his indignation was really strong and healthy but unfortunately it resulted from the thought that his rights of property in my person had not been respected more than from any sense of the outrage committed on me as a man I inferred as much as this from the fact that he could himself beat and mango when it suited him to do the same satisfaction as he said just as soon as I got a little the better of my bruises master Hugh took me to sq. Watson's office on Bond Street fell his point with a view to procuring the arrest of those who had assaulted me he related the outrage to the magistrate as I had related it to him and seemed to expect that a warrant would at once be issued for the arrest of the lawless ruffians Mr. Watson heard it all and instead of drawing up his warrant who saw this assault of which you speak it was done sir in the presence of a shipyard full of hands sir said Watson I'm sorry but I cannot move in this matter except upon the oath of white witnesses but here's the boy look at his head and face said the excited master Hugh they show what has been done but Watson insisted that he was not authorized to do anything unless white witnesses of the transaction would come forward and testify to what had taken place he could issue no warrant on my word against white persons and if I had been killed in the presence of a thousand blacks their testimony combined would have been insufficient to arrest a single murderer master Hugh for once was compelled to say that this state of things was too bad and he left the office of the magistrate disgusted of course it was impossible to get any white man to testify against my assailants the carpenters saw what was done the carpenters were but the agents of their malice and did only what the carpenters sanctioned they had cried with one accord kill the nigger kill the nigger even those who may have pitied me if any such were among them lacked the moral courage to come and volunteer their evidence the slightest manifestation of sympathy or justice toward a person of color was denounced as abolitionism and the name of abolitionist subjected its bear to frightful liabilities abolitionists and kill the niggers were the watchwords of the foul mouth ruffians of those days nothing was done and probably there would not have been anything done had I been killed in the fray the laws and the morals of the christian city of Baltimore afforded no protection to the sable denizens of that city master Hugh on finding he could get no redress for the cruel wrong with drew me from the employment of mr. Gardner and took me into his own family care of me and dressing my wounds until they were healed and I was ready to go again to work while I was on the eastern shore master Hugh had met with reverses which overthrew his business and he had given up shipbuilding in his own yard on the city block and was now acting as foreman of mr. Walter Price the best he could now do for me was to take me into mr. Price's yard and afford me the facilities there for completing the trade which I began to learn at the time I rapidly became expert in the use of my caulking tools and in the course of a single year I was able to command the highest wages paid to journeymen caulkers in Baltimore the reader will observe that I was now of some pecuniary value to my master during the busy season I was bringing six and seven dollars per week I have sometimes brought him as much as nine dollars a week for the wages were a dollar and a half per day after learning my own employment made my own contracts and collected my own earnings giving master Hugh no trouble in any part of the transactions to which I was a party here then were better days for the eastern shore slave I was now free from the vexatious assaults of the apprentices at mr. Gardner's and free from the perils of plantation life and once more in a favorable condition to increase my little stock of education which have been at a dead stand since my arrival from Baltimore I had on the eastern shore been only a teacher when in company with other slaves but now there were colored persons who could instruct me many of the young caulkers could read write and cite some of them had high notions about mental improvement and the free ones on fells point organized what they called the East Baltimore mental improvement society to this society notwithstanding it was intended that only free persons should attach themselves I was admitted several times assigned a prominent part in its debates I owe much to the society of these young men the reader already knows enough of the ill effects of good treatment on a slave to anticipate what was now the case in my improved condition it was not long before I began to show signs of disquiet with slavery and to look around for means to get out of that condition by the shortest route I was living among freemen and was in all respects equal to them by nature and by attainments why should I be a slave there was no reason why I should be the thrall of any man besides I was now getting as I have said a dollar and fifty cents per day I contracted for it worked for it earned it collected it it was paid to me and it was rightfully my own and yet upon every returning Saturday night this money my own hard earnings every cent of it was demanded of me and taken from me by master Hugh he did not earn it he had no hand in earning it why then should he have ordered him nothing he had given me no schooling and I'd received from him only my food and raiment and for these my services were supposed to pay from the first the right to take my earnings was the right of the robber he had the power to compel me to give him the fruits of my labor and this power was his only right in the case I became more and more dissatisfied with this state of things and in so becoming I only gave proof of the same human nature which every reader of this chapter in my life slave holder is conscious of possessing to make a contented slave he must make a thoughtless one it is necessary to darken his moral and mental vision and as far as possible to annihilate his power of reason he must be able to detect no inconsistencies in slavery the man that takes his earnings must be able to convince him that he has a perfect right to do so it must not depend upon mere force the slave must know no higher law than his master's will the whole relationship must not only demonstrate to his mind his necessity but his absolute rightfulness if there be one crevice through which a single drop can fall it will certainly rust off the slave's chain in a chapter 20