 look at the architecture on this building. I've stayed here a few times. I just keep coming back and back because it feels like they made a deliberate effort to make this building what it is but it's more than just one building but it feels like they really thought it out and planned it beforehand. They took the time effort and energy, they thought about it consciously and intentionally and speaking on that, I mean I think that is what I'm thinking about dating someone. If there is one trait that I look for, someone who is attentive just gives that special touch to things. They go the extra mile, they make that extra effort because they care because they want to give the best of their ability to make you happy because there's nothing that makes them happier more than seeing you happy. There's really one trait that for me you know I have a lot of awareness of myself and what I look for and it's that attentiveness is just irresistible to me and if there's one thing that really repels me it's the opposite of that. Anything like indifference, contempt, nothing makes me run away quicker than that but that attentiveness you know that thoughtfulness given that special touch to things that is just such an irresistible trait but yeah back on to this topic before I wandered off there the narcissist doesn't want to see you shine and yeah I mean that does fit in with what I've just said, the attentiveness, the thoughtfulness. That's what many of us give to our lives, our work doesn't make it just because you're shining not if you put in the work to get to where you are then it's a worry if you faked there or if you tricked people you manipulated them you just they know you do not deserve to shine but when I'm talking about that today we're talking about people who have done the work people who have gone through the trials and tribulations people who have suffered and people should praise you for that it's like if you're running a marathon and then all your family and friends are at the end they're cheering you on yeah go you can do it and then at the end even if you don't win even if you just you'll be all you deserve the applause you deserve the compliments and praise and everything that comes along with that doesn't make you a narcissist if you put the work in narcissists don't see it that way they don't care if you gave it a y'all they don't care if you put all of your effort in all of your time energy money that means nothing to them they still don't want to see you shine because they are very envious jealous and insecure and that is why they have to compete with you they have to be better than you so they have to bring you down they have to sabotage your progress and success they have to try and take it away from you because it reflects back to them how they're lazy and weak and they have accomplished anything so they don't like that that is why they don't want to see you shine very childish and immature behavior and it's just something someone who never did any work they were very lazy i could understand someone being jealous of that maybe having some resentment feeling like it's unfair it's like me because they didn't really put the work in you have really put the work in to get to where you are i mean if i see someone working hard and then they achieve everything they ever wanted i could never be jealous of that i could never feel like that is unfair how could that be unfair if they worked for it and they earned it that doesn't make any sense and if i haven't got what they've got then that just means i need to work harder that's good that means that it can happen for us too because deep down they have a belief that they cannot be what you are they cannot have what you have and that's really the problem it's like deep down they want to be you but they can't be you so they look at it like if i can't be you i'm going to destroy you i'm not just going to sit back for life that's something a narcissist is never going to do and it may surprise a lot of you when you see what they're capable of some of them are covert you may have thought they'd have your back you may have thought they would have supported you but you soon see i mean it's not just it's not just when you down that you see who your true friends are it's also when you're up when you're doing well when you're successful that's when you start to see who is really with you because the people who aren't will betray you they will try to destroy you and it can make you very paranoid it can make you feel like you can't trust anyone it can make you feel like even if someone is talking to you it's only because of your success and that is a horrible thing to go through people who have worked hard they're successful you may think they have an easy life but there are a lot of negative things that come along with that success negative people but yeah they just don't want to see you shine that is the last thing they want to see and you really need to avoid anyone who doesn't want to see you shine surround yourself with people who do want to see you shine if you do that then you will not end life because those types of people are going to support you they're not going to let you fall they're not going to do anything to hurt you and yeah back to what i said if you want to have an amazing relationship and also sexually as well and with money it's really in all aspects of a relationship it's just everything if they have quality and trait attentiveness where they they pay close attention to things they look at the details that shows you that they're not just thinking about themselves so if you are looking to date someone new use my advice advice from an arch survivor on dating look for that that one quality look for that trait it's attentiveness which is something that goes hand in hand with self-awareness these qualities are very important and especially in relationships i mean if you want someone to take care of you someone who sees you and knows that you're there i'd also i'm sure you want to share that with someone too that's part of what is motivated to be putting out these videos for of a foreigner i do believe that i have that quality where i pay and whilst people may get overlooked in this world i think sometimes i am the one person that notices them and it's really a beautiful quality to have and if you have that you need to share it with the world you really do you should only share these things with people who can share it with you because otherwise they're just going to take advantage of you i know that has happened to me many times and it's not nice you know when you you know you gave everything everything you have your time energy effort and money you gave it all and they just took it like it's nothing like it didn't mean anything and i think many of us we give so much of ourselves because we want to mean something to someone but they just take it and just feels like you never meant anything and they would never do the same for you it's not a nice feeling to have but when you find someone who loves the way that you love that is one of the most incredible things that you will ever experience in your life it really is and don't worry if you haven't experienced that yet you've got plenty of time you will experience it one day now you know what to look for so you're already halfway there steady pace says in the chat if they see you happy they think what that is a very true statement right there and that is really yeah if there's any narcissist watching this right now they're going to be thinking what the fuck is he talking about attentiveness thoughtfulness giving special care to someone well just to make them happy what's the point in making them why do all of these nice things just so they can feel good what do i get out of that that's exactly how they think that's exactly how they think because making you happy making you feel good that there's nothing for a narcissist there's nothing for them the goose is loose you are very welcome i'm glad i could help yeah that's really it with these narcissists you know it's just you wonder why they don't reciprocate why they don't do anything for you in return no matter how much you do for them because that's what they think in their minds why should i why should i have to do that just so you can feel good yeah it just doesn't make any sense to them because they lack empathy they're self-centered they're only concerned about their own personal gain but find someone who isn't trust me you will have amazing relationship but yeah back here again i travel to a different city and as you know i've been having a good time there to this city again to have more good times here that's really it you know you just gotta go wherever there is a good time just enjoy life a quote from nark survivor that i've used in many videos life is meant to be enjoyed not endured remember that one remember it anytime you're around a narcissist toxic person they will help you to get out of that all right that's 20 minutes 20 minutes of a deep topic i don't want to see you shine but if you'd like more i have done a video on this topic as well about four years ago it was one of my first videos and i believe one of my most underrated videos too so definitely check out that video the narcissist you shine please give this video a thumbs up if it was helpful share the subscribe if you haven't 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