 A couple of months ago, after moving into my new apartment, I discovered that whenever I opened the pantry door for the 18th time, it would always lead somewhere else. Or rather, nowhere else, and I've used it to get rid of some people. What follows is a confession of sorts. As you can probably imagine, the first time I saw this happen it nearly stopped my heart right before slamming the door shut. At the time, I'd been sober for a few months and I'd been attending some meetings, but this thing was very different from the usual withdrawal symptoms. This thing was real. When I checked the pantry again, nothing was amiss. Just my small pantry, which truth be told, was more like a broom closet with some of my crap in there. Things went from 0 to 100 rather quickly. I immediately decided that I couldn't trust the pantry anymore, and that's when other nasty thoughts started creeping into my brain. What if I was finally losing my mind altogether? I couldn't find the will to move or do anything else. So I decided to stand my ground and proved to myself that I wasn't going crazy or imagining things. I shut the door before opening it again. I did this a few times, always in quick succession. As I was starting to feel really dumb, it happened again. Only this time, I stumbled backwards and dropped to the ground against the wall, taking it all in. All that darkness. There were so many weird things about it, and I think it was because it all hit me at once that my instincts kicked in the first time around. My eyes felt suddenly dry, same thing with my mouth, as if the air was being sucked out of me and my surroundings. There was also a weird buzzing in my ears, but when I clapped my hands, I sighed, relieved that I hadn't gone completely deaf, but this thing definitely affected my hearing. I could tell almost right away that there was a lot of space to it. I don't know how else to put it, but I recalled past times when I was a kid. I never really liked going to church, but whenever I did, what always got to me was the sudden eerie quietness, and that's how I felt, like I wasn't supposed to make any noise or do anything that might disrespect it somehow. Although I couldn't make out anything within the dark, it felt imposing, vast, and ominous as hell. I certainly didn't want to get too close to that door, but I very much wanted to take a peek to see where it might now lead. Besides the fact that the entire pantry was replaced with an abyss, there was also a small change regarding the floor. On the ground, right beyond the door frame, was now a piece of concrete, like a ledge that only ran along the frame of the door, about 30 inches long, but only wide enough to fit a person's foot, 10 inches, give or take. It struck me as odd, and I decided right away that I should never step on it. It's like it was there just to give someone a false sense of security, enough for them to step on it right before the door slammed on their ass, sending them god knows where. I've seen too many movies to fall for something like that. When that awkward sensation became unbearable, I shut the door, and when I opened it once more, and saw that my old pantry was back, I guessed correctly that there had to be some sort of pattern to this. This thing was scary, no questioning that, but I felt happy. I don't know, it just felt so intriguing, and I wanted to know more about it. Despite my excitement, I decided to call it a night and went to bed only to spend a couple of hours worth of sleep, thinking about things to do and try the next day. I kept a small handwritten journal where I wrote down my findings, which I will now read through. I don't have much time, so that'll have to do. I think it'll give you a rough idea of what it was that I found myself dealing with, and why I was so sure I could get away with it and make a fresh start for myself. Day one after discovery, pattern, I think I figured it out. There's nothing much to it really. Every 18th time the door is opened, it happens. Time elapses between the door opening and closing, or the angle at which the door is opened doesn't seem to have any relevance. Every 18th time, that's when it always happens. Is it relevant to look up the number 18? Probably not, but it's something to consider. Depth. I didn't know what was going to happen when I threw stuff in there, didn't want to do it at first, but curiosity got the best of me. If there's the smallest possibility that it can be explored, I have to know. It could turn out to be really useful to me. Grab some rocks and branches from the street. First thing I did was throw one down there and wait for it to hit something. One minute has passed. No sound. Three minutes. Still nothing. Next, I decided to throw a rock, pitch style, with as much strength and velocity that I could. Didn't hear a thing either. Also dropped a fork in a rusty frying pan, along with some empty glass bottles. I tried to cover as many angles as possible, but no sound ever came out of it. Is there no end to it? Important observation. Whenever anything goes past the concrete edges on the ground, it immediately disappears. Things don't just disappear gradually, nor fall out of sight. They're just suddenly gone. As soon as they cross over the concrete threshold, no matter the spot where the object is thrown at. This is weird, because I can tell that there's physical space. It's not a portal or a weird veil of some sort. Note, purchase a flashlight, some flares, and firecrackers. Day two after discovery, feelings. I still get a sickly feeling, but I think I'm not getting affected as much. The more I'm exposed, the less it affects me maybe. At least my hearing doesn't seem to suffer as much from it anymore. Depth. I didn't realize this right away, but light doesn't seem to cross over to the other side. No light from my apartment does anything. Neither does my phones. And the flashlight is just as useless. It's working perfectly. But whenever I shine it within the frame of the door, there's no light at all. It just gets swallowed up by the darkness. Try to use flares. No effect. As soon as they cross over, they're completely gone. Still can't see a thing. Lit up some firecrackers, and it went as I expected. As soon as thrown over, the sound is reduced to nothing. It doesn't die over, or even leave some sort of echo. It just abruptly cuts to nothing. Can't really tell what's happening on the other side. Debt. Got a noise complaint from some tenants. Guess I'll wait a couple of days before trying out some other things. My kid's coming over for the weekend, so the timing's about right. Day five after discovery. Bought some rope and tape. Some things that I thought of. If the pantry and the stuff on the pantry shelves always return, what happens to them? Where does it all go in the meantime? What would happen to someone already inside the normal pantry? If I were to open the door to activate it, would they disappear permanently? Would they also return? Would they notice anything strange? Or would it be like they're just stuck there waiting to be let out? What would happen if said person were to open the door from inside the normal pantry? Would the activation pattern work? And if yes, would it lead to the same place? I'm not trying it myself, that's for sure. If the opportunity presents itself, I'll try to figure out some of these. Day six after discovery. I intended to use the rope to lower some things down there and pull them back up. Maybe even use my phone to try and record something. I tried just the rope first before using other objects, but it's meaningless. Whenever something goes beyond the edges of the concrete ledge, it gets completely and perfectly sectioned off. There's no click or snip, whatever it is, it just goes completely missing. Imagine dipping your hand into some water to check the temperature and having every little bit of it disappear as soon as it makes contact. Put some cans and bottles to a pole to run some further tests from a safe distance. But the results are always the same. Clean cuts, no traces or any residues left behind. Everything gets neatly cut, no matter at which angle or height it's pushed through. Like a laser, maybe? I'll have to run further tests with harder materials if I can find some. I can't tell if things are either instantly dissolved, destroyed, or if they end up somewhere else. Important, what about living things? The old bat upstairs usually lets her cat run around the whole building during the day. I could lure it inside my apartment, see what happens to it. Note, buy cat food, cheapest. Day seven after discovery. The cat's gone, shouldn't have done it, but at least I've figured out some things. The cat didn't have any problem coming into my apartment, it was actually pretty gentle. When I opened the pantry door it didn't freak out, not right away at least. It, don't know if it was either male or female, was just curious and I used that to my advantage by slowly pushing him over to the edge. In the end, I couldn't do it from afar and had to get closer to the door than I ever wanted to. Cat was receptive to being held and I made myself sure that I wasn't at risk of losing any extremities. I pushed the cat forward into the void but only made it so far up to its neck. That's when it completely freaked out and jerked around so much that I instinctively jumped back and let go of it. The cat started to run all over my place, crashing into all kinds of things and yet it didn't seem to be in distress or else I would have heard it hiss and complain. Thought that it could have just been scared but when I saw it clearly I noticed it was missing its head. It was so unreal but the cat was still alive somehow, no bleeding. I can't really tell what was happening to it, only that it seemed to be running away or trying to hide from something. Whenever it stood still for a couple of seconds at a time, I observed the cut around the neck and the organs within still fully functioning, touching the spot where the head should be didn't cause any reaction. Whenever I tried to grab the cat, it would just freak out even more and scratch me like it was fighting for its life. I eventually managed to catch him with a bag and tossed it into the dark. Had to. I shouldn't have used the cat, I actually feel bad about it. At least I take solace in knowing what that place can do and by extension what I can do. This is how I'll be turning my life around. Day 8 After Discovery The old hag from upstairs came by asking if I'd seen Nicholas, her cat. Told her I didn't know. She saw the fresh scratches on my arms, didn't believe me. Came back later in the evening and made her way into my apartment before I could stop her. She was yelling and making a scene, saying she was going to call the cops if she found the cat whether it was dead or alive. If there was one thing I didn't need at that point, it was attention. So I had to shut her up. I punched her square at the base of her skull and she dropped like a fly. That wasn't enough to knock her out though, and seeing as she was mumbling and trying to call for help, I had to use a pillow on her. After that it took me a lot of effort to bring her to the pantry and throw her in there. I was out of breath at that point, that's what happens when you don't exercise regularly. Yet, I managed to do it. I also said goodbye to the pillow I used and to the clothes that I was wearing. No body, no evidence, no trial, right? I can get away with it. I can do this. This is what I've been waiting for. I can do this. That's as far as I went with the journal and I can explain why. Not sure you will care, whoever you are, but here goes. I was fired from my job last year because of some issues I had. Apparently some guys at work had become uncomfortable when I was around, couldn't work properly. That's fine, you know, I had it come in either way, but the worst part was my wife filing for divorce and wanting to take sole custody of Mikey, my kid. My son, my boy, I'm not going to lie. And I certainly don't care if no one believes me, but I never harmed my kid. Sure, I blew a lot of cash on alcohol and drugs, but I never put my hands on him. Never. I just, I just wasn't around when I needed to be. And when I was, well, I was anything but a role model. That cold hearted witch. She didn't want the kid, you know, this was nothing but a game to her. All she cared about was winning. She was great at pretending to care, pretending to be a good and responsible single mother, but I could see through her lies. After she'd had her triumphant victory in court, she just lose interest in her own child. I couldn't let that happen. At the very least, I wanted my kid to be all right. I wanted him to have anything he might ever want. And I think it's only natural for a father to feel that way. No. But I was nearly broke and I didn't have the guts to go and look for another job. First, I had to prove to myself that I could cut down on some of my addictions before giving another shot at life. That's when I discovered the bottomless side of my pantry, that infinite abyss. When I first identified its properties, the thought of it almost instantly grew roots in my brain. But it wasn't until I got rid of that fat old lady that I realized just how easily and quickly I could turn things around. Murder. I could kill. I could kill and even be paid to do it. How much does a hit on someone cost? About 10k? Screw that. Even if I got to kill someone for a thousand dollars, that'd be a hell of a starting point for me. And that kind of money would make a difference in my life right from the start. I could do it. The hardest part would be finding the right customers without getting busted by the cops. Because as for the rest, there were no hindrances whatsoever. I just needed to get people to come over to my house. I could even make a mess if I wanted to, just as long as they ended up dead and thrown to the other side. I could get rid of any and all kinds of evidence. The cops could come over any time they wanted. I just need to make sure the door to the pantry would be at the start of a new cycle to avoid a major mess. Of course, the cops showed up a while later and also the next morning to inquire about the missing lady. When they asked if they could come in and take a look around, I obliged, for I had nothing to hide. I guess my demeanor would be suspicious as hell, but it had been a while since I left my apartment. I didn't own a car at that point, and seeing as there was nothing to be found that could get me in trouble, the cops just went ahead and left. I felt powerful and unstoppable. However, I did decide that searching for people who were looking to hire a hitman wasn't the best idea. So instead I would be the one to handpick my victims. I'd be lying if I said I never killed for dumb reasons or that I always got something substantial out of it. Sometimes I didn't. Like that time when I just didn't feel like paying the pizza boy or when I finally had an excuse to let those Jehovah's Witnesses into my place. When it came down to people that I knew, I'd just go back to their place, steal some things that I could easily trade in for cash, no questions asked. And just like that, a month or so later money wasn't a problem anymore, and neither was having food on the table. I finally had a TV too and could afford a gaming console for my kid. I always felt like crap whenever I saw Mikey coming over with his backpack filled with things that I just couldn't afford to have at my place. Now there were always surprises and gifts waiting for him whenever he came by and he'd always go back to his mother with brand new and expensive toys. It took some time, but eventually she gave me a call saying she wanted to come over one day and have a talk. She probably thought I'd won the lottery or something because I still didn't have a job. That's all she cared about and that's all she wanted. More money, more things and she'd come crawling back to me just to suck me dry a bit longer. We agreed on a date, told her I had a big and shiny surprise for her. Everything went according to plan. My kid stayed over at a friend's house on that night my ex-wife came by. She put on her best clothes, but I could still see her for the monster that she'd always been. We didn't want to engage in meaningless chit chat, so I blindfolded her right away to surprise her. And she was more than eager to let me do so, even slipping out the obvious dirty lines that no longer had any effect on me. She became all the more curious when I placed some cheap headphones over her head, but she didn't argue. I brought her to the pantry door and swiftly opened it as I had already done hundreds of times before and I kicked her in before she could let out a single word. And just like that, she was gone from this world. Yes, my kid lost his mother, but he now had a loving parent that would do anything for him, someone who would cross the line as many times as needed. The hardest part was dealing with the cops and everything else plus all the legal paperwork regarding the custody of my son, but in the end I pulled it off and it goes without saying that it was worth it. To finally be with my kid all the time, to be able to raise him properly, I even considered never using that door again, but as you might have figured out by now, my story doesn't have a happy ending. It was all going just too well for me, you know, everything was perfect, so much so that I wouldn't always think things through. If life had taught me one thing, it was that whenever I felt that things just couldn't possibly get any better for me, tragedy would strike. Heart. And it did. Just a few hours ago. My kid had a friend named Rebecca over at our apartment. Her mother dropped her off earlier that afternoon. She was also single and very pretty. Around six o'clock or so, I had to go and buy some things for our dinner, leaving the kids playing at home for a short period of time. When I was at the supermarket, I called my kid to ask him what kind of soda he wanted. He whispered his answer, which amused me at first. I asked him what they were doing to be acting so quiet, to which he replied right before hanging up, playing hide and seek, gotta go. I dropped my phone and felt like someone had thrown a bucket of ice over my soul. Two nine-year-olds, one of them, my kid, were playing hide and seek at my place. I immediately darted out of the supermarket, knocking over everyone and everything in my way. I could feel my heart lodged in my throat, but all I could think about was my kid, the pantry, the darkness. Mikey was always great at that game and it concealing his presence altogether, so I hope that he had found any other spot in the house, anywhere but there. When I got home, ripping open the front door, I ran towards the hall holding my breath until I saw a child in front of the pantry. The door was open. It wasn't Mikey. Rebecca didn't notice me right away. As I ran towards her and grabbed her by the shoulders, she'd been staring at something her mind couldn't quite understand and unfortunately it wasn't the typical pantry you'd expect to find in most homes. I could tell that she was scared, especially with me squeezing her frail little arms and yelling at her to tell me where Mikey was. She started to cry, saying she was going to tell her mother. Shit, I thought. It was now a little past 6.30 and her mother was coming over around 7 to pick her daughter up. My eyes started to well up as well. I implored her to tell me where he was, but all she could do was cry. One deep breath and a quick shove later and I was now the only one crying like a baby. At this point, I knew that there was no coming back from this. I will always hate myself for some of the things that I did, but I had to get my son back somehow. When Rebecca's mother came by, she could tell right away something was wrong. I pulled her into my place, gagged her and tied her to a chair. I also did my best to block the front door the best I could. Also turned on the TV. I needed the noise to muffle as much sound as possible. Someone must have called the cops by now and I can't let them in before it's all over. She was crying a river just like her daughter. I tried to explain what was going on and that I needed her help to save both of our kids, but she didn't react. Probably thought I was a crazy serial killer or something. I laid the chair on its back with her still tied to it and pushed it slightly over the frame of the pantry door in a way so that her head was now resting against the concrete ledge. I grabbed her face and made her see the uncanny darkness that was all around her. Her eyes got really big and her tears quickly dried up. I told her I was going to push her in a few inches, only enough for her eyes to see what was on the other side while leaving her ears and mouth on my side so she could hear my questions and answer me accordingly. I needed answers no matter the cost, but nothing could have prepared me for what came next. I removed the piece of cloth from her mouth and pushed the chair with both hands as far as I had intended, but as soon as I saw her mouth open and the color quickly drained from her face, I knew I'd made a big mistake. She started to scream louder than anything I'd ever heard in my entire life. She was also convulsing, almost as if she was being electrocuted or burned alive. But the screams, they wouldn't stop. It was all I could hear and I bet it was the same for the rest of my neighbors. They were so loud, I firmly believed that my eardrums would suffer permanent damage. I sat down on her chest and held her down the best I could while I yelled at her to tell me what she was seeing. No matter what I said or how loud I tried to say it, my voice wasn't reaching her. I could see the blood starting to pool at the back of her throat. She was so agitated that one of her hands even managed to break part of the chair she was tied to and the rest would surely follow. Her hand reached out to where her eyes should be and a large chunk of it immediately went missing and yet she kept flailing around. Tell me what you see. What is it? Do you see him? Is Mikey there? Tell me! She wasn't answering and I had to get rid of her sooner rather than later. Now this might have been my brain or even my conscience distorting things. But as I pushed her in, I swear I saw her mouth contort into a smile or even a look of relief just as it went over the edge and into blackness. I don't know what awaits me there when I cross over. I guess in the end I must be crazy for attempting something like this, but he's my son and I've always said I'd do anything for him, anything, even when the odds are against me. I just wanted someone to know if this gets buried, forgotten or at best dismissed as a crappy work of fiction. So be it. If not, if this ever comes out to the public, then it's because it was always meant to be that way. They're banging on the door already, but little do they know that they won't find anyone here. I've already packed my things and this laptop will also make the jump with me after this video is uploaded. Hopefully I did all this right. I'm out of time so I can't name all the persons I've killed, there are far too many to count and remember right now. I've hidden a full list with names and dates, but I don't think the cops will find it. My name is Neil and I lived in the old green building near the park. You can't miss it if you know the area. Everyone ought to know everything that I did was for my son.