 I just got back from Disney, a magical place where you can spend thousands of dollars to wait in line for a ride that's over 30 years old on a property that's all but irrelevant, and on top of that, pay even more for food, entertainment, and have to have a bunch of babies crying in your ear. Why are so many people bringing their babies to Disney? Let's have a good old-fashioned rant for a bit. Before I begin, if you love movies and entertainment in general, please feel free to subscribe to the channel here, Adam Does Movies, as I post multiple movie reviews, rants, roasts, live streams every single week, all in the movie spectrum. So let's jump in with that out of the way. The amount of strollers I saw, and within them babies, was out of control this year at Walt Disney World in Orlando, Florida. I took my family, my wife, my two kids, and by kids I mean a 14-year-old and an 11-year-old an appropriate age to take to the parks, I believe. What I feel personally is not an appropriate age to take to these hellscapes are kids five and under. Or let me even put a caveat on that. Children that are unable to walk the parks and maintain their emotional resistance for the majority of the state. Now, the entirety of the state, it's one thing to get a little ornery, a little cranky, a little crabby, a little bit warring down, a little bit sleepy, a little bit hungry, a little bit of monika in my life, a little bit of sandra by my side, or whatever the hell that song is. Mambo number five, reference, subscribe. In an environment such as Disney that's already jam-packed with people, it's overpopulated, it's overcrowded, it's overpriced, we have to limit, we have to reserve spots for people that can walk on their own. This year, I'm gonna hit on every single side like some sort of a Mickey Mouse gang bang by different fucking strollers. Babies and strollers to the right, babies and strollers to the left, to the front, to the back. It's a human centipede of strollers and I hated it. And the Karens driving these things get all pissy if you try to cut in front of them because they're pushing an RV. Mam, I don't want to be stuck behind a convoy of strollers. I'm trying to get to shitty space mountain that feels like it's gonna break every time you go on it now because it hasn't been updated and the thing runs on sticks. I'm trying to get into that virtual queue for Tron. Oh, don't worry, I signed up for it at 7am. My arrival time, 3 or 4pm in the afternoon, hope I don't have anything better to do than sit in my ass with my dick in my hand waiting for that line to open up. Oh, and once you get into the virtual queue, once you get into the actual queue, you have to wait another hour and a half, isn't that magical? Let's stay focused on the, let's stay focused on the kids. Here's the deal. I get it. I'm a parent. I understand. You want to get away from your crappy life and your mistakes, and by mistakes I mean the children that you decided to have. So you take them to Walt Disney World. You take them to Epcot. You take them to Hollywood Studios. You take them to wherever as the mouse moniker on it. The problem is your kid's not gonna remember shit. If they're under the age of six, they're not remembering dicks, okay? And if you're doing it for yourself, that's a huge mistake. You're plopping down an easy thousand, two thousand, three thousand dollars. I think I'm walking away from a six day trip to Universal Studios in a couple day at Disney with a six thousand dollar price tag on my head. Because you pay for the parks, you pay for the hotel, you pay for the experiences, you pay for the food, you pay for everything. And what you're left with is hopefully a mediocre time. I mean I had a good time because my kids are old enough to, you know, they're self-sustaining outside of the food that I have to give them. They can eat on their own. They can drink. They can walk. But you look at a parent who's disheveled. She's worn down or he's worn down because they're on day five. They're on the last leg of their tour of hell. And their kid is bawling uncontrollably. They can't feed themselves. They don't know who Peter Pan is from a hole in the wall. They don't give a shit if Winnie the Pooh has a stupid little thing that's going on. They just want to sleep and they're not getting any sleep in the hotel. They're not getting any sleep when they're standing out in the 90 degree weather, sun kissing down on their fat little faces, sweat beating down their chunky little bodies. They just want to be warm at home, snuggled in a crib. Get a bedtime story. You want to show them Winnie the Pooh open a book. Don't take them to this miserable place where people are angry but they're trying to act like they're happy about the decision they made to take out a second mortgage so that they could go to Disney. It's a mistake. And it's one your kids aren't going to remember. And so I, as I want to say a responsible adult, I put in the time. I had two kids. I waited to both of them were old enough to walk on their own and I didn't have to get a stroller. So the first time I took my kids they were like seven and ten or six and nine. I don't remember the specifics exactly but even at six for my son. He's not gonna remember a whole lot other than he had fun. He's not gonna remember any specifics but he was also able to walk these parks for the most part on his own without me having to carry his ass around on my shoulders. And we weren't being an inconvenience to other people walking around. We weren't slowing down lines. We weren't smashing into people with strollers. And we certainly weren't crying uncontrollably, which is another magical moment that happened with us. On our first day, leaving Epcot, a fantastic park. I'll say that. I like Epcot a lot even though some of the entertainment things are garbage beyond our belief. That Beauty and the Beast thing that they're propaganded as some sort of an event. That thing's bullshit. The Beauty and the Beast sing along. What a pile of crap. Anyway, moving on. We get on to one of these buses that's taken us to the magical resort. I think it's the, I don't even remember where we stayed at. The movies one. Whatever the movie resort is. It's like three miles from the park. It took us an hour to get back. An hour to drive this thing. We sat gridlocked in this Florida traffic at, I think it was eight or nine o'clock at night. It was miserable. And on top of that, this woman has two babies. Two little cute chunky fucking dumb babies that she's bringing on this thing. She's a super nice woman who made a super bad mistake. A mistake that now I had to deal with because she takes these little shits on the bus. There's nowhere to sit. I'm sitting down. I got my daughter next to me, my son and my wife, and this woman has nowhere to go. So being a gentleman, or at least attempting to, I say, Hey man, why don't you sit in my spot? Why don't you take my seat? She's got two kids that she's got in her arms. She thanks me. She sits down. It's either that or have her stand right in front of me with the babies. So might as well make them more comfortable. I go down and I stand. I hold on to one of the little handlebars and this entire one hour trip of not moving is just filled to the brim with crying twin babies. Every second that goes by, I can hear my wife's brain getting more and more pissed that I gave her that seat. So she has to sit an ear shot away from these babies. Bottom line is not only did she make a miserable experience for herself. She made a miserable experience for the rest of us on that bus because that's the ambience we had to listen to when we're all tired, worn down, ready to get to bed. We have the babies crying. And this can be heard throughout the Disney park, the magic kingdom that's filled with babies crying from ear to ear, from the tops of the mountain to the endless seas below. You're on the Pirates of the Caribbean. There's a baby crying. You're on, it's a small world after all. You're crying because that rides frightening beyond all belief. It doesn't matter. And people will take their kids anywhere because they're just desperate. They're so desperate to get out of the house and to go experience something for themselves. I had a dad who brought his newborn baby into the born identity thing at Universal Studios. And within the first two minutes of this thing, the dad's up walking back and forth in front of people with the baby trying to calm it down because it's crying. How is that great for everyone else? You're going back and forth in front of us asshole. Get out. Eventually he did because I think he felt the shame that he should have felt for making the choice to bring his baby in there and then secondly for cutting everybody's experience off. That's a great thing by the way that born identity experience at Universal. Fantastic show. You should check it out. Bottom line is this. You're spending thousands of dollars. You might have to take a flight. You might have to do all this stuff. And for what? To what end? To listen to your kid be miserable, not just at the park or back at the hotel, but for the next several days, possibly weeks after you get back home because you threw this kid into a whirlwind. You threw this kid into a fucking tornado. It's world is upside down. It doesn't know when to sleep or when to eat and you are worn down as well. Parent, don't take your three year old to Disney. Sure they might know all the lyrics to frozen. Just put on frozen again at home. And in 2024, you are spending hours of your time just doing a meet and greet. What's your kid do during that? Sit on the phone? Oh, how fun. How great. How grand of a time that is. No. Hold off on it. Wait until they're older. They will appreciate it more and you will appreciate it more. Granted by 2030, you probably will be waiting four hours to go on a crappy ass Dumbo ride or a teacup spin because it's just never going to end. People will keep going. They'll pay whatever they have to to get into these stupid parks and I'm one of them. I'm one of those suckers. But the good news, fam, I don't have to be miserable waiting in line because I don't have a toddler on me or three. All right. Let me know your thoughts on this. Do you agree? Do you think maybe it's about time that some restrictions were put on parents to say, Hey, if your kids are this young, maybe we have an area for you to go be miserable and together and it's just going to be a pile up of carts. Just a pile up of strollers and changing tables and diapers and baby powder and pacifiers and all that miserable stuff. You guys can just be miserable over there because right now you're clogging up the bathrooms. You're making it smell. You're doing unsanitary things with your children because there's nowhere to change them or feed them and it's just a nightmare. It's too much and of course there's going to be exceptions. There's going to be cases where, oh, your family's going on the trip and they invited you and they're going to be paying for it. So yeah, sure. I guess throw your baby in the mix and see how it shakes out. But even if you're not paying the bill, even though you're not footing it, maybe you're still paying for it at the end of the day. You're still paying for it somehow. Okay. Those are my thoughts. Let me know. Please like the video if you had a good time. Comment below. I want to hear what you have to say about this. Maybe you are one of those parents that took your kids and it was perfect even though they were only one years old because it wasn't for them. It was for you and you bit the bullet and it worked out and bravo. That's a rarity. You are a unicorn. Let me know. Subscribe if you haven't. I post tons of movie content each and every week. This is a little bit of a special aside because I did just do the Universal and Disney trip with my family, so I have a lot of content on that for January and January is a shit show for movies anyways. It's a dumping ground for bad movies. All right. That's all I got. Hopefully I see you next time. Take care.