 Hello there my beautiful internet friends. Welcome back to my channel I have a goofy grin on my face and it's probably gonna stay on my face for the rest of the video Because I got to do something today for the first time since losing my leg for the first time in like two years that makes me so Freaking happy it makes me so so alive. So I'm realizing that if you find her I look like a sweaty mess But you know what? I am right now. So let's dive in one of my patrons over on patreon has always asked me whenever I did a Q&A what's something that you do for absolute blissful out of this world just pure unadulterated fun and This is one of those things This is one of those things that I can conclusively answer is like a piece of my soul a lot of what I do on my channel is Talk to you guys about what's going on in my head in my life and this whole process and all of that But something that I've never been able to really share is how much I love being active How much I love doing things I was very active and jiu-jitsu before losing my leg as much as I could be as my ankle deteriorated I did and then a before that we would take the dogs hiking on the weekends like this was something that Makes me feel okay. It makes me feel like I can breathe for a second when other times I may not necessarily feel like that and so today I went rock climbing a friend of mine invited us to come So this opportunity came up and I thought what the heck I'll give it a shot if my friend Rachel Who is a total badass I'll pop a picture for up on screen here and her Instagram handle right there I can do it I can at least give it a shot. She is a professional pair climber and what she does is incredible And so I got up this morning. I literally looked through her entire feet I was like, how does she actually climb without a leg because you know for limbs are kind of necessary for staying on A wall of you know many many feet in the air So I really wasn't sure how this was gonna go for me in particular or if I'd be able to really accomplish much today Or even get on the wall because sometimes the process of actually like grabbing onto the rocks and getting your feet up Is the hardest part and I only I don't have a foot and I can't wear my prosthetic leg while I'm climbing which I'll get into But I wanted to give it a shot and so Brian and I left this morning I am headed to do something I have not done in like two years and I only need one shoe to do it I'm going rock climbing with Brian and a friend of ours. We're gonna try it out I used to climb years ago and I really really love it. I'm naturally pretty flexible That's super strong, but I have so much fun with it And I'm really curious to see what I can do without a leg because I'm not gonna be climbing with a leg I don't think I think it would just get in the way and you can't really bend your knee So we'll see how it goes and we went down to a local climbing gym and I just tried it I tried not to have Expectations of myself for like getting to the top of a wall or anything like that But I love this stuff. I love this stuff so much and so I did it Of three different walls and there was one that I could not accomplish I tried so hard, but we'll leave that beast for next time to conquer I can't tell you how happy stuff like this makes me because for most of my life I'm juggling all these things in my head. I'm trying to keep anxiety at bay and depression depending on things We're going and just trying to like get through. It's not like I'm in survival mode, but Sometimes things are really hard and it's been a rough couple years But when I'm able to do something like this, it's like everything melts away and I'm just me for a few minutes I'm just a person and just being a person is enough and trying to solve this Problem like this problem of getting my body up at the top of something really tall It's so encompassing because if you fall, I mean, that's not good Obviously there are ropes to catch you but you want to get to the top And so it's constantly problem-solving and seeing what I can you know do differently to get up there And there's something that's really therapeutic about that. I'm gonna guess many of you are gonna ask why I don't wear my prosthetic leg Climbing so the socket and this is an issue with many MPTs doesn't allow my knee to fully bend And so like if this is my leg, right? It doesn't really go further than like that This is a terrible analogy It doesn't bend far past 90 degrees and if it does it gets really painful because the socket like the carbon fiber is digging Into the back of my quad muscle and so things like Biking I'm not able to do just yet because my socket is too high in the back and things like climbing you absolutely can't do with just a Normal prosthetic leg at least in my opinion I'm sure some people do because you have to stay close to the wall. You have to be really agile You have to be able to it's very bendy and very a flexible kind of sport And so I would just pop my leg off at the bottom of any climb and then hand it to my husband And he'd go put it on the side by the lockers Which I'm sure looked really interesting to anyone walking by without contacts and just use my knee as a brace as often as I could It was really challenging because so often when you're trying to get to like another position You're relying on your lower body to like hold you there and I only had like half of my lower body that really I Could actually trust because trying to put pressure on my knee unless there was a really good ledge for it It's sliding all around and so it was a lot more core and a lot more upper body than I normally would use For instance, I cannot keep my hands still right now Because my muscles are so very shot, but it was so very worth it when I am able to do things like that I don't feel Different than other people. I spent a lot of my life feeling a little bit different than people around me because obviously I am but it's it's hard sometimes when everyone's lives work a certain way and Mine doesn't and it doesn't feel comfortable just yet I think one of the coolest things about things like this things that take like your mind and your body At the same time is I am I become completely unaware of the fact that I don't have a leg No, obviously, I'm aware of that when I'm climbing because I have to climb very very differently But it doesn't feel weird. It doesn't I don't feel like different than other people just trying to get to top of a rock you know and finding those things for me is so Powerful and so cool and so incredible because I'm still trying to get used to this amputee thing And it's a hassle and it's challenging sometimes but having a few minutes where nothing matters And I'm just I'm just me is really cool I feel like I'm gushing a lot about just how happy I am but you know I have a lot of serious videos So this one could be a good break from that for a little while So I feel like this is a shorter video than I normally do but I didn't really vlog much of it That was just Brian taken video of me when I was going up And so I'd love to take you guys through the whole process Let me know if you'd be interested in sort of a whole day at a climbing gym kind of video because there's a lot more that I Could show and go over if I actually went there to film But I was just kind of going to to go and to have a good time today So if you're interested in seeing a little bit more, I'd love to have an excuse to go back Thank you so much for listening to me Just be happy today this video doesn't have much of a message other than I'm really excited and I feel Okay, right now. I feel good and I'm really really grateful. It's funny to me How much more capable of doing things we all are than we think It's really easy to build up scenarios in our head of why we can't do something and then just avoid it And today was a good reminder to me that I am able to accomplish a lot more than I think in my head that I can Thanks for spending a few minutes out of your day here with me today You could be anywhere in the world I know many of you guys are all over the world you could be doing anything But you've got to share a moment of happiness with me you chose to and I appreciate it A huge thank you to all my patrons over on patreon for enabling me to do this for supporting my channel I appreciate you guys so very much and I hope you are having a sincerely wonderful day I love you guys. I'm thinking about you and I will see you in the next video