'Twas the Night Before Beta (Guild Wars 2 Christmas Carol Parody)





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Uploaded on Dec 14, 2011

Think the title pretty much says it all...

Lyrics are as follows:

'Twas the night before beta, when all through the forum
Not a user was sleeping, not one bit of snoring.
The characters were planned out on paper with care,
In hopes that St ArenaNet soon would be there.

The mods were main-lining coffee and meds,
While visions of flame-wars danced in their heads.
And mesmers with bukkits, or was it a cake,
Had just settled down for a well deserved break.

When on the News forum there arose such a clatter,
I sprang from the mod chat to see what was the matter.
Away to my Firefox I alt-tabbed in a flash,
Clicked the Guru tab and refreshed the cache.

The thread on the top of the News forum page
Had the lustre of undying and poorly-spelled rage.
"Teh Beta is Delaiyed" - I don't even... what if,
Click 'Show Spoiler' - ******* trollface.gif

With a reply from Martin, the haters stopped hatin',
"The beta is on time, no more iteration."
More rapid than a spammer the users replied,
"About ******* time!", though the fanbois just cried

"Now charr, norn, asura! now, sylvari and human!
On, servers! On, logging! On reports and parsing!
To the top of the mountain! To the top of the wall!
Just walking along... **** I fell through the floor.

The weekend went quickly, with no time to rest
PvP was the focus, which profession was best?
Up the top of the hate list elementalists flew,
With the thieves and the guardians, 'cause they're OP too.

And then, in a twinkling, it ended with a tweet
"Beta successful, same time again next week".
As I closed down the client, and was going to sleep,
Thunderbird called out with a new e-mail beep.

"The male armour's all fur, from his toes to his chest,
But the female 'equivalent' barely covers her breasts!"
"DE's are alright, but I want my own version."
"There's no /sneeze emote and it breaks my immersion!"

The flames-how they crackled! The insults were crass!
"But I like sexy armour, my toon's got a cute ass"
I got to work modding and reading reports
Delete, warn, infract, [insert witty retort]

The forums went nuts as the mods ground their teeth,
Smoke from their ears circled heads like a wreath.
Trolls left their bridges and camped all the threads,
Twenty seven mod desks met twenty seven mod heads.

It was chaos and mayhem, a right old fustercluck,
Til the server fell over, thank you Lady Luck!
A nod to the heavens and a palm to the face,
The mods took a breather, near dead from the pace.

The respite was short lived, the server revived
When would the feedback from St ANet arrive?
The users grew restless, the mods hit the drink
Hey! Eric's logged in, is this it do you think?

He sprang into action, to the fans a quick post,
"Here's the answer to that question you all ask the most!"
OMG! Can it be? The release date is nigh!
"Happy Christmas from Colin, and he swung it three times!"


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