 When you're doing marketing or trying to get new clients, you can either come from an authentic confidence or you can come from a desperation energy, which unfortunately is how a lot of people do their marketing and their selling. So that's what I want to talk about in this video. So first of all, it's important to understand that to have a great business, you need great customers, great clients. And what I mean by great clients isn't that they're better people than anybody else, but that they are a better fit for you. In 10 years of working with over 1,000 clients in my programs, as well as one-to-one, I have noticed that I am a great coach only for certain people. Even though I am the same person generally speaking to everybody, I'm only a great coach for certain people. And other people make me feel like I really can't make a difference in this world. I don't know what there's nothing I can do to help anybody, right? Do you know what I'm talking about? Have you ever had that kind of experience where it's like one person makes you feel like you're like a superhero, like you can do anything. And then another person feels like, wow, you really don't know what you're talking about. So a great coach is because of great clients, okay? Great clients, meaning aligned with what I can offer them. And your best coaching, your best services are provided to people who get the most from what you do. So therefore, you don't need to come from any kind of desperation energy to be able to get those great clients. In fact, if you come from a desperation energy, oh, I gotta pay my bills, I gotta get clients, I gotta meet this number to be successful, that's when those great and aligned clients leave, okay? So a couple of points to remember, one is that your business will thrive and you'll feel amazing when you have clients that are really right for you, who just love what you do. And two, those clients tend to leave or not sign up with you when you're coming from a place of desperation, okay? So how do we not come from a place of desperation? You've got to stop requiring your business to pay your bills. Now, that sounds ridiculous, right? Let me explain this more. If your business is not paying the bills right now, okay, and it has never paid the bills, you need to be a lot more gentle with how soon your business can pay the bills. I'm gonna be one of the only business coaches and marketing coaches to look you in the eye. Maybe there are other good ones out there who are willing to be honest with you. But just about everybody out there is trying to sell you on a program that will get you from nothing to paying all of your bills with your business in 60 days, 30 days, 90 days, even a year, I don't know how long it'll take you. It might only take you three months or six months, I don't know, I'm not gonna put any timeline on it. But what I do know is that if your business has not been paying all of your bills thus far or it's been very, very rockety, okay, to expect that some tweet you're gonna make in your business will now suddenly pay all your bills is unrealistic. If I have seen anything in 10 years, it's I've seen businesses either succeed very quickly or the ones who don't succeed quickly need a more organic pace of growth, okay? And yeah, sometimes you'll come across some idea that will give your business a big boost. Now then the question is, are you going to expect that big boost to stay forever? That's unrealistic too. Big boosts are ones to learn from and say, I wonder if this is sustainable, let's try it again. Oh, well, the second time didn't work quite as well. You've got to look at your business from a more longer term perspective than just looking at the get rich quick schemes that are out there because they are not sustainable. And when you've ever tried them, most of them don't work, right? And the few that do work to have like a blip and then you're like, wait, I'm still broke, right? You've got to stop giving your business that kind of pressure if you don't want to come from a desperation energy and therefore push away the clients that are actually best for you, okay? So figure out a different way to pay your bills. Some of you have been smart enough to go get a job. Wonderful. I am not the kind of business coach that looks down on people with a job. J-O-B just over broke, right? Some business experts say that, not ridiculous. Get a job that makes you feel secure or whatever you need to do. Maybe your spouse is very supportive or you have your family member, your parents are very supportive. It doesn't matter, don't be ashamed to be financially supported as you build your business. Build a business without financial desperation, okay? Please, if I could, please, please, let me just be an encouragement to you in not being ashamed of getting a job at Starbucks or whatever, I mean, you probably can have other additional higher paying opportunities for you, but get a job, okay? Make sure your bills are all paid and then build your authentic business from a place of authentic confidence because then you'll get the best clients, you'll be able to create content that truly is generous and of service and you will thank me three, five, 10 years later because you're like, that was, this is now a business that I can really believe in that I have an audience that really believes in me and I really believe in that. And I really believe in the way that I'm doing business, okay? So, that's what today's message is, is do whatever you need to do to get out of desperation energy so that you can come from a place of, gosh, you know, my, here's the other point on this, is your life force is limited. Would you agree? Of course, in every single day, you only have a certain amount of energy. Every year, you only have a certain number of weeks you can work. Every week, you could only have a certain number of hours you can work on your business. Because your life energy is limited, it needs to be given to those who can most use it to make a difference in the world to, you know, make their life much better rather than giving it to the clients or the audience members who are not gonna make too much with it, okay? So, given that your limited life energy is valuable and knowing this, knowing that you are the best coach, service provider, mentor, healer, consultant, seller, whatever it is you do, you are the best when you have customers and clients that totally believe in you, that totally gets so much from you, okay? So therefore, you don't need to push, you don't need to be desperate and go, please, please sign up with me. None of that's needed, okay? So, therefore, you have to realize that you have to pick and be choosy about who your clients are, even if you don't have a single client. Even if you don't have a single client, you have to be super choosy about who to take on. Because every client you take on will create a pattern in your business that goes more in that direction, okay? So, or strengthen that kind of pattern in your business. So, be super choosy. And so, therefore, when you're super choosy, you come from a place of genuine confidence. Now, you're choosy because you have really integrated this message that, yes, my life energy being naturally limited needs to be given to the people who most respect what I do, that most naturally love what I do, who just, I don't have to persuade them of anything. That's the key. Your best clients don't have to be persuaded at all, not a single bit, okay? The ones who have to be persuaded, they're not right for you at this time. Maybe they'll be right for you later. Maybe you need to develop certain skills or create certain content so that they don't have to be persuaded anymore. But your best clients don't have to be persuaded at all, not a single bit, okay? So, whether you have zero clients right now or whether you are full like I am, doesn't matter, be choosy. Be super choosy. Look at potential clients as potential people you are potentially investing into. Your invest, when you look at a potential investment, do you go, yeah, I don't care, I just come and invest in anything that wants my investment, okay? What's more important than your money is your energy. What's more important than money is your energy. So, if you're gonna be choosy on what to invest in, what stock to invest in, what business to invest in, whatever, what charity to give to, if you're gonna be choosy about that, how much more should you be choosy about the people you invest your energy into? Because the ones you invest your energy into, you're gonna multiply people like that. So, look at your potential clients as people that you could possibly invest in, invest your energy into. And so, you're thinking about a transformational partnership with that potential client and say, am I willing to invest, am I willing to invest in this partnership? Only if you're excited to invest and that they are excited also to invest. If it's a true win-win, there's no persuasion. There's no overcoming objections. Yes, you answer questions, but there's nothing in terms of, God, I gotta make this person believe in me or my work. None of that. It's just creating content from a place of authentic service. And then those who step forward, and then not just creating content. You all have, those of you, hopefully if you've seen this video for the first time, watch my other videos and read my articles, but I talk a lot about creating and distributing content from your authentic service as frequently as you can, as much as you can. And then also occasionally inviting your audience to say, hey, I'm curious if you would be interested in allowing me to support you, you know? And those who step forward, and if nobody steps forward, you need to do more content. You need to do more distribution of your content. Are you doing Facebook ads? Is anyone seeing your content? No one's, not enough people are seeing your content. You don't have, you're not giving the people the chance to step forward, right? And then the occasional invitation, hey, you know, I'm open to forming a, this kind of relationship where I can really support you, but I'm only investing my energy in a limited number of people, right? So it's only the, so please, let's have a conversation and see if it's the right fit, but it's all very gentle. It's all, you know, just invitation because you know that you are a great service provider or a business when you have the right customers, when you're right clients. Be choosy. Do not build a business based on, I gotta pay the bills. That's the most dangerous way to build a business. I gotta pay the bills. So I gotta sell, sell, sell. I've got to convince people to do this or that. You're creating more of that pattern in your business. Trust me on that. You've got to build a business from a pattern of authentic confidence. And that's where you really build an authentic business that you love. I built a desperation energy kind of business in the first, let's 2009, 10, 11, 12, 13. The first five years of my business was in desperation energy. And I was exhausted because I had to sell all the time. And I did not build an audience that was really loyal. In 2014, when I started my business over, so first five years, I experienced desperation energy. I experienced burnout. I experienced manipulation, trickery, all the stuff that you might learn in other marketing programs, some other marketing programs, lots of the ones that I took anyway. And well, this is a lot of what's out there, like loudness and like very clever and you got to be clever. You got to do persuasive. You got to be like really pretty. You got to be really sharp looking, amazing. Every desperation energy. It's like, I got to convince people that I'm worthwhile. Got to convince them. First five years of my business, right? And yes, I made a lot of money. I made a lot of money. I have to say, that does make you a lot of money, but it's a very suffering kind of way to, I felt it was a very kind of a suffering kind of way to live. It was, I was always afraid of refund requests because I oversold all the time. And I was always, you know, just a lot of fear and anxiety in that kind of model. And then 2014, when I started over, basically with a brand new audience, some people followed me over, 90% of people did not follow me over. So basically when I started with a brand new audience, I decided to build from an authentic confidence. And you can see the results now, 2014, 15, 16, 17, 18. Now five years later, right? Five years later, you can see the results. A genuine audience, even my hardest to sell program, which is joyful productivity. And even, you know, there are some programs that are really hard for me to sell, but I'm so passionate about it. Like, I don't care if you don't like it, I'm gonna sell it anyway, because now I have a genuine audience. I have a big enough and a genuine, a genuine and a big enough genuine audience that I can sell stuff that most people don't care about, but enough of you care that you'll still sign up. So my joyful productivity program, for example, the hardest course for me to sell, and you probably have seen, been seeing my posts about it. I'm say, hey, those who didn't buy, why didn't you buy? I'm genuinely curious, not from a desperation energy, because I'm just so biased with my passion. So it's an honest question. So even if it's hard to sell, I still sold 50. So it's $3,000, not bad for a program that's hard to sell, right, in a single month. So that's what happens when you build an authentic business, is you have an audience that actually cares about you, and every time you sell something, enough of the people for whom timing is right and who like that topic, whatever, we'll buy or we'll hire you or whatever. And as you keep distributing genuine, authentic, service-oriented content, the genuine audience keeps growing. It just keeps growing, growing, growing, growing, growing, and then your selling becomes more and more of a whisper, more and more just, hey, by the way, I've got this available. Now, of course, even though I no longer use hype, I hope, please catch me if I do use hype in my selling, because sometimes I have blind spots too, but I try not to use hype. I try to just be really honest and genuine in my selling. Very whispery, just like, hey, I've got this available now. If you're into it, it's my favorite topic, take a look. Even though I'm whispering, I do make sure you know about it. So I use ads and emails to make sure you know about it. Hopefully not too much, I only send two emails, two emails to launch a program, versus most people send 10, 15, 20, 30 emails to launch a program. I send two, but I do run a bunch of Facebook ads so that if you're surfing Facebook, just casually like, join your time. You'll see my reminder again that the courses, that kind of thing, but hopefully the reminders are also genuine, honest, authentic, not desperation. Not yelling, hopefully. Not scarcity, manipulative, hypey, yelling, promotional, selly, sells it. So that's what I encourage you to do, is to take a look at whether you are requiring of your business something that doesn't have a track record yet. Business, an authentic business grows organically and you look at it over years, not over God, am I gonna make the bills this month? That's a danger zone. Now you're going into a manipulative business rather than authentic business, right? And by the way, manipulative business is most, much of the business that's out there. So it's not like, oh, somehow they're evil or I'm evil or whatever. No, it's just not an ideal model for a sense of authentic joy. That's all it is. When it's manipulation, all of us manipulate in some way in our life, we oftentimes don't even know about it. So we just have to continually return to, am I trying to manipulate? Or am I simply coming out from a sense of service and a sense of connection? That's all, that's all. And a sense of joy in the person that I'm talking to. So I hope this is helpful. Thanks for joining me for this live video. Thanks for, see Jace, Wendy, Roy, Diane, Yule, Sarah, Gudrun, Meaghan. Thank you all for joining me here. I appreciate your comments, Gudrun and Jace. Thank you. And you'll, let's see, Jace, a question. So let's say you're starting at zero and you don't have time to take on anyone. Can that be used as a preparation even if they're not ideal for you? Oh, I'm sorry. Let's say you're starting at zero. Let's say you're just starting, hey, you have time right now just to serve clients, et cetera, and you have time to take on, can that be used as preparation even if they're not ideal for you? That's a great question. I think that even at zero, you should still be choosy. And you, I would rather, if I was starting as a, I would rather work for free for somebody who is an ideal client than take someone's money who's not an ideal client. Now, ideal versus not ideal is a spectrum, of course. And you might land one place versus another. It doesn't have to be perfect. It doesn't have to be like, this ideal client is like, you know, this age range and this profession and it doesn't have to be perfect. But you'll learn over time. And actually, when you're starting at zero, you don't really even know who is an ideal client or not. So yes, I would say that if you have a good sense of somebody, okay, take them on and see if it's an ideal client. If you have some red flags right away in the beginning of your interactions, refer them to somebody else or say, you know, I'm not available right now for service, you know, I'm not available. I can't take you on right now. I apologize, you know. But notice the sense in the beginning and the communications of red flags or wow, my spirit is, my soul is saying yes to this. You know, then you'll learn over time what is less and what is more ideal, right? Yes, okay. Thank you. Thank you for your comments. All right, I wish you a return to the real you, the deeper you, the higher you, which is eternally resourced, infinitely powerful. And so you actually don't need anything. I believe we're here on earth in this life to play, to experiment, to learn from our playful experimentation and playfully experiment to how can we serve, how can we really uplift this world, this game? It's like a big, giant, very, very sophisticated alternative virtual reality video game that we're in right now. And the challenges are, hey, how can we make this earth better? How can we make this society better? And it's a play, so let's play. And so since we don't really need anything and we're all actually eternally secure, let's build a business that's fun from a place of authentic confidence. I wish you well.