 My name is Jimmy, his name is Jake, and this is the Weekly Dumb. We are recording a little earlier than usual because we will be in Denver for the All-Star Break as you are watching this. This comes out on Monday. On Monday we'll be playing Blitzball against professional Blitzball players and catching home runs at the home run derby. Jake, how are you? Try hitting a baseball, you Blitzball idiots. No chance gonna break your goddamn bat. I'm doing well Jim, didn't sleep well, think last night and I feel like I'm starting to lose it. You? Okay cool, rest up before we go to Denver. I got something to tell you about. And I don't know if you're going to be interested in it. One minute on the clock starting now. The Madison Mallards mascot got decapitated, someone stole the head right off the body and ran away with it. Madison Mallards mascot. They posted that they're offering a $500 reward to anyone who can find it, but the reward will be paid out in hot dogs, which I think means you're not taking it seriously and no one's gonna return it. Why would someone want 500 hot dogs? That sounds like hell. This is smell like inside job from the start. Their problem solving slash because it was an inside job is actually pretty awesome. They're just rotating mascot heads. Changing the head up. That should just be a team. That should be the mascots. Yes. And it's just oh what do we got today? Like that's part of the draw. That's like I had a hermit crab once and we put it in a hermit crab race and the name of our hermit crab was you couldn't call it the same thing twice. So we were playing against all these little kids. Come on Frank here we go George let's go. And they were like how many hermit crabs do these kids have and there's just one. Story ends so sad. Oh we set him free after he lost. That's time. Jim something I could see becoming a theme of our Colorado trip. Animal rescues. There's so many in the news. We have like 20 people going so we're probably going to save some animals. Zach how much time do we have in the clock? Minut 45. Minut 45. Okay the first animal that got rescued was a deer that went into a Walmart and a Walmart employee saved the deer from being inside the Walmart which is something I wish would happen to me every time I accidentally go into Walmart. The employee has such a good mount. It's such a professional mount. Mount. Mount. Like when you see that that's a person in control of a situation whether you see that in a wrestling ring whether you see that in a Walmart humping a deer whether it's you see that on the street and you're like oh okay they've got it. What this comes down to is that she's wrestled a deer before and happy that it came into effect here. A helicopter saved a horse that was trapped in concrete debris. The horse fled from its rider and got trapped in concrete so that rider better be sad. Helicopter hoist horse. What kind of liberation are we running? So you know they say horses know their rider like very well. That guy just got outed by the horse as being an awful person. Oh the horse hates the rider. Always has. The rider tries to be an alpha and it's like I'm a horse. One of the best tweets on Twitter it's from like two decades ago is when the guy yeah the guy just says like it's like in quotes huh the first horse to ever be ridden. What? Top Twitter tweets. This is what I do now. And then Jim the anchor as it always is. Montana lake visitors rescue skunk with his head stuck in a pickle jar. I think you're kind of on its dreams and aspirations. You know I struggle with some of the animal stuff so it's an awesome video but it's sad. Well I think the skunk just wants to be an astronaut really bad. Time. Fuck Zach's timer. We got everything we needed to say in there. That was perfect timing. Next up we're gonna move on to not sports. Zach's gonna give us a minute and 15 seconds on this one. Yes. Minute and 15 seconds on the clock a professor sent an email to his students explain. Okay you say it. Minute and 15 on the clock starting out. Reset it down. It's a minute and 20. Wow. Extra five seconds. Extra five seconds. I just blew the five seconds. I lost my page. Oh flip them when you're done with one. No because what if we have to go back and talk about the horse. Zach do you hear about this one? I haven't. Just do it an old time TV show. Minute and 20 on the clock. Professor sends email to his students explaining why the class is postponing college students to propose a decent birthday and Twitter recently sent an email or class professors and said you guys are my best wishers. I haven't been treated in the ER. I guess I have COVID and my divorce is getting messy. Oh been there man. So he got shot. He's been treating in the ER. Also has COVID and the divorce is getting messy. Kind of went viral. We found the rate my professor for this professor and someone had rated him and said amazing professor. However he do be going through it though. That's true. I once had a I once had a history of China test canceled because my professor's daughter shot herself in the eye accidentally with a nail gun. Okay. I was going to use my story which was a little more two professors at our school same school. They were dating in love. They got divorced and they had a house like right off campus and I guess it was like known in a thing. He lost the house so whenever he taught classes he would stay at the Likinta Inn. He had this big boss next and he said oh I'm staying at the beautiful Likinta Inn and we're dumb college kids who were like okay is that good. And he's like so one day we actually asked and we're like so is it a nice Likinta Inn. Oh it's a fucking dump. Yeah. So not an ad for the Likinta Inn. The same Likinta you went to. Yeah where I got invited to a sex party from some teenagers when I was delivering pizza. Segway into next topic. That's called the biz. Minute 15 on the clock. Furious local site COVID-19 concerns. Can we start over. I don't even like the line of that story. Done. Start over. Re-set the clock. Re-set the clock. Real headline here is complaints of screaming and moaning from the Swingers Festival in Lincoln Shire. Around 400 swingers arrived for a four day sex festival called Swingathon and they told everyone it was canceled because of COVID and then they were like they just did it anyway. Which I mean if a Swingathon festival tells you yeah we're actually canceling it due to safety concerns you'll be like what are you talking about. Do you know how quickly the email thread started with the people that they wanted to go. This was just to get rid of the riffraff. Oh how many swings do you think are there. How many swings. Yes actual swings. Not sex swings. Zero. You don't think there's a playground anywhere. Any swing is a sex swing Jim. Jim this gets me a little hot and bothered multiple reasons. A. I hate people that try to get involved in the lifestyle that aren't a part of it. I mean it's a choice. Have you ever been to a sex festival. Because I think that I mean don't call out the Swingathon people. You're calling out the people that are complaining. Yes. What if the noise is loud. Hell yeah that means it's working. That's time. Which brings us to. It's the employee of the week. It's the employee of the week. It's a guy who sings song that we like. It's the employee. We thought about giving it to BBD because we're actually recording his birthday. He lost out. We thought about giving it to keep Brian Hayes Trevor Blues weed plant. So Cali bro. But we are giving it to Eman. Not only fantastic artist. Yeah. One of the earliest followers of ours of talking Yanks Eman and we just listened to a song to get pumped up for the show. Fuck you you. I beeped out ho and not fuck. I think you'd have to be both of them. I don't want you back. It's a really it's an all time song and the YouTube comment that made me laugh before this was someone in quarantine. The top comment was like hey 2020 listen to this in quarantine. Damn. Big Eman. Emotional. Eman's big talking Yanks fan. We're big fans. That's how you say it right. Yeah. Watch this. That was a weekly. This weekly done was brought to you by the John Boy media store by a shirt you hacks. I had a visual and I had glad the time ran out so I couldn't say this during the time. I had a visual of like they are inspecting the noise and the loudest room is just like the solo room. It's just like everyone all like the whole outer ring of the room is just all solo acts just screaming in my experience you set up a fake loud room. So when the if the pigs come they check out that room. All right. An insane. I don't know. Actual pigs. Oh well we shimmy. I had pigs dressed like that. Respect iron for it.