 As-salamu alaykum, sister Alima. Very good. Thank you. Thank you for joining us for today. This is a very special occasion. Thank you for inviting me here today. I feel very blessed to be here. I'm so glad to have you. So I will share with you that I was on my heart to spend time with people who are strong in faith but who live daily experiencing the highs and the lows but have some wisdom and experience and some skill set behind them that they can share with others who may be struggling. I think we all go through moments where things are good and then things get a little bumpy and when they're very difficult and it's really hard it's easy to isolate. But I think we lose perspective thinking that we're the only ones going through something. So very extraordinary to share in life's experience with one another and to learn from others' experiences. So that brings us here today. I'm looking forward to you sharing your story with us and before we begin I thought I would read what has really inspired me most recently from the Quran, Surah 93, La Dua, The Morning Brightness, Bismillah ar-Rahman ar-Rahim. By the morning brightness and the night when it is still your Lord has not abandoned you. Nor does he hate you. The last will be better for you than the first. Your Lord will soon give you and you will be satisfied. Did he not find you orphaned and sheltered you? Did he not find you wandering and guide you? Did he not find you impoverished and enrich you? So as for orphans do not oppress them. As for beggars do not berate them. As for the blessings of your Lord speak out. So I would like to know more about you and maybe it's best to start with the early days in your life. Yes, so Hamza Na, my name first off is Elena Madera Saini. I am a revert and I am going to repeat that again. I am a revert and I say it with a lot of thankfulness and very connected to what I am today Hamza Na. Growing up I was raised with six brothers and one sister. My mother is from Guatemala and my father he's Puerto Rican. And you know at a very young age my mom she moved here. She was a single child so she didn't have any family here in the United States. And my father you know when I was about five years old he pretty much walked out of us. He abandoned my mother at a very young age. We struggled a lot because she didn't have family here. And we found ourselves homeless. We jumped from shelter to shelter for quite some time. We lived pretty much relying on the church. So we knocked on church's doors and they helped us. They were the ones that brought us in and took care of us. So you know as I got older and I got more connected to the church they were very nice with giving and helping us you know at just to be normal. But I was missing that spirituality. I wasn't connecting to what they wanted me to believe. And so I around the age of 14 I decided to leave the church because it just wasn't for me. So around 14 15 16 I wandered around different religions. And I found myself not connecting. And I hit rock bottom. It was a really dark place in my life. A very lonely place in my life. I couldn't find ground. I couldn't find a connection. So around the age of 17 my brother called me one day and he goes you know and then I became a Muslim. And you know I was furious. I was very upset. I couldn't believe that he betrayed what we believed in. What we thought we believed in you know. And so I went a whole year without talking to him. I didn't want to say one word to him because I was just like he's not part of us anymore. But you know over time I noticed that he became a better person. And this was a clear sign of you give that one through your examples. And that's exactly what happened is you know I noticed him being a better person. He stopped going out and he was more giving. And so it made me wonder what what made him convert what made him change. So you know I remember ordering a book off of Amazon and it was a book by Yahya Emmerich. It was called What Is Islam About. So this book it you know I received it and within like the first 10 pages that I went into I decided to take my Shahada. It was like it was like a lot gave me hope for my life. I was lost. And so at the age of 18 which was the greatest day of my life I took my Shahada. And you know from that moment it was very very amazing to feel that connection. And something that I realized after I took my Shahada was that Islam is one of the very few religions that teaches you how to be independently spiritually grounded. And so which means this spirituality that you have this connection you have with Allah is a personal independent connection. And a lot of other religions you have to go to a place Sundays or to a person in order to feel that connection which this is how perfect our religion is that this is a personable religion with the Creator and you can practice it anywhere on this point which is Hamdillah that's what I was missing. So you know after I became you know Muslim and I took my Shahada I was like okay now what do I do now because I didn't have any friends that were Muslim I didn't have I didn't even know what a mosque was. So you know I the beauty of being a Muslim is that Allah brought us tools. He brought us everything that we needed in our life in order to live this life according to me. And this is the beautiful thing that we don't have to depend on anyone in order to find that guidance. So one of the obstacles that I had converting in was my mindset. So that was the first thing that I had to to challenge myself is that you know I would try to connect to the Quran and I was having a really hard time connecting to the Quran because my mind was Dunya. My mind was Jahlia. How was I supposed to pick this book up and connect to it when I couldn't understand me being a Muslim to begin with? So Alhamdulillah I was able to start reading about Aisha Radhila Huan, Khadija Radhila Huan. So I started learning from the Sunnah of the Sunnah. So I picked up Sahih Muslim, Sahih Bukhari and that became my guide. I embedded myself for three four years in learning about the great women of Islam in order for me to change my mindset. And when I did that it was like okay now I have a better understanding on how I could. So there's a few steps if you don't mind I go through. So that was number one. My first step into becoming connected to being a Muslim was learning the foundation of Islam and me having to be like one of the greatest you know trying. So the second step was my mind. So first was mindset. The second one was me trying to forgive. And you know unfortunately we're human we have this heart that sometimes sits and it's resentful towards our past and it's resentful towards people and how they treated us but I needed to learn how to let go. I needed to learn how to let go of my past and dwelling on it because I wasn't going to grow on this new journey that I had. And that was step number two. I needed to say if Allah forgave me of these ar-Rahman ar-Rahim I needed to be merciful to those and let go. He gave me a fresh start to my life. Why would I continue to linger on to that life? So I was like I gotta let go. So I have this rule now that when I wake up in the morning I press the reset button and I let go of whatever happened tomorrow because it won't free me from anything. It won't allow me to help anyone. So alhamdulillah that was step number two. Being able to forgive and forget some things. Step number three was kind of really hard because we are very attached to things on this earth. We're very attached to the people on this earth and I needed to learn how to put Allah first and emotionally to attach myself from people and things. And so for me I needed to take this heart and give it 110 to Allah because he's the only thing that will never set me up for heartache. He will never misguide me. And so it took a lot of years of me going through heartache and pain in order to realize I'm going to free myself from people and realize that they will continue to be used in my life unless I just put my heart to Allah and they won't be used against me anymore. And you know and to go a little bit in depth with the situation I always have this analogy of you know Allah he has 99 attributes right. Is there anyone in your life that you can say have all those 99 attributes? Absolutely not right. I don't think I can get past the third one right. We spend so much time loving people on this earth. They can't even get past three of those attributes. Why wouldn't we love someone that has 99 of them more than anyone on this earth? When you do that I promise you your heart will be freed of a lot of heartache. So once I was able to detach myself and get emotionally you know just grounded with Allah then I was it was very free for me. The fourth and final thing that I had to realize and I recently just realized this after I turned 40 was my purpose. And a lot of people they spend their time trying to build their careers. They're trying to build their wealth here. They're trying to build connections here. But once you hit the top of your goal what now? You spent all these years going to school and being educated at this and then when you get the peak of that then you feel like I'm still missing something and it's because you haven't connected yourself to your purpose and pleasing Allah and pleasing His creation and doing charity work. So for me once I hit that peak it was like okay I need to refocus and realize that the things that I love to do were just hobbies. The things that I were doing on this earth were just hobbies. It wasn't fulfilling my soul right? So Alhamdulillah now that I am working for a local nonprofit, Al-Misbah, I was able to now be be used as a tool for that purpose. This is wonderful. So wonderful. Tell me a little bit about this organization that you work for. I know you're even working behind the scenes here today. Well Al-Misbah is a local sacramental organization. They are they do charity work. They give food. We are helping like the refugees that come in. We're helping any needy family and we use a lot of our youth in volunteering and helping the community. We have go on classes. We there's so much going on in our organization that it's kind of like a community center as well. And it brings me back to home because I was pretty much raised in the Boys and Girls Club in a community center and that became my home. And now full circle I'm working for an organization that is Muslim organization and it's pretty much bringing me back to my roots and giving back to the community. So this organization it just touches my heart in so many ways because it gives so much buttock out to the community. Wonderful. And how amazing it is that even here at the organization and the CCU organization that it's mosque but it has so much outreach that it is able to give and there are so many people a part of all of the working parts of this that you come and you're able to expand and give and there's so much of that that happens and that's really I think part of the the hope of connecting more those working parts for individuals to share their stories of how they've they've aspired to something that helps others but you have to learn how to be comfortable with yourself comfortable with the Almighty Creator and it's a journey but we're all kind of in it together it's just a matter of connecting connecting a little bit more and that's what makes it so incredibly special. Are there any particular moments in time that you can think of where you were really spiritually struggling and when you were what brought you really for what was a reset button for you? So when I first had converted and you know my mom she's a she's a only child I was raised with no aunts and uncles I didn't have any family no cousins any of that so at one point I realized that I was on my own and I struggled a lot with the guidance part someone making me feel like I'm part of something was really really difficult for me at one point I tried to fit into different communities you know I'm Hispanic I come from Hispanic background so if I try to fit into a different culture I'm gonna clash because I'm not without a realistic I'm not part of that culture so I tried to find myself fitting in but it was working against me because it was like just because it's cultural doesn't mean that it's Islam right when I distance myself again and I put my trust and faith in Allah then Allah for a community to be to fulfill that so going back to us holding Allah's hand and trusting him he will bring people towards you that would be beneficial for your ahira if you ask him to so we forget sometimes that he is the one that is the all-doer right we put our trust in people to fulfill that but when you go back to Allah he's the one that ends up fulfilling it so whenever I would struggle returning to him he would fix it for me if the sincerity is there and the intention is there he will fix it for you do you have any advice for anyone of any age in their journey who is struggling that would really be an inspiration somehow looking to you as a person that has life experience what would you say so there's so many things to say but one of the biggest things you know me being part of this body and the resource director there I realized that charity actually fulfills my soul and a lot of people don't realize that you can do all your salons you can do everything in your life that is fitting to a lawn what he wants but if you're missing that charity part you're still missing avoiding your life we forget to take time into helping the giving and feeding people this is part of our Dean as well and when you do that then you get baraka you get baraka in your time you get baraka in your doings so something that I'd like to remind people it's just not about taking and doing the basics it's about giving as well so I always say if you're young and you feel lost connect yourself to a center collect connect yourself to a message that is doing for the people and I promise you you would feel like that void is gone if you feel have you ever experienced a moment where with regards to prayer and upholding the pillars of Islam where you felt either overburdened or you felt like you just are struggling to put in one more prayer have you experienced this and what inspired you to get past that and really more grounded in prayer and supplication we all human we all struggle we all have our lazy times and we all have those times we were busy but honestly when you really look at the wisdom behind prayer there's a reason for it and then in the time it couldn't be perfect whenever we think about the reasoning of prayer and us taking ourselves away from whatever is going on in this earth and shifting our thoughts and our intentions into what Allah wanted us to do it changes your perspective in your life and I think people don't really realize the history and the Hikmah behind the prayer and I feel like maybe you should read before just doing a lot of us we pray because our parents tell us to pray or it's watchable on us because we're Muslim but actually educate yourself on the reasoning behind prayer and a lot of people they don't really know it it's actually very beneficial for your soul and for your body as well so I feel like education is key when it comes to you know prayer and just to Dean I read it was a really general quote and I won't do a justice but it resonated with me because it touched on them part that prayer should be a cause for celebration it's the celebration of Allah our connectedness and celebrating Allah and since I read that and since it had such an impact that's how I see it now each year prayers a moment of celebration between me and Allah I think a lot of people they don't feel like that prayer is that open openness you have with Allah now some people are like oh I don't want to go to him and ask him because it's just a waste of time you know some a lot of people think that way like I'm not gonna but guess what he's always there waiting to hear you we leave him actually he never leaves us so it there is you can go to any therapist you can go to any counselor he's the best therapist and he's the best of counselors he fixes everything so when you tell people that it's like I would run to him you know like oh my god I gotta go run to my therapist and that's how she should look at it like whenever I'm having a time where I'm down and I'm not feeling well let me go to my son because a lot is very powerful and it saved me from a lot of things as well I'm a lot of home to a lot of work part but exactly wonderful I can think of so many additional questions to ask you but there is there anything wing on your heart is there anything you would like to say to the listeners to the watchers so I just you know really wanted to remind everyone like our religion our religion is so perfect like take me for instance I didn't have any guidance on how to practice Islam I went to his his tools and that was you know Sahi Muslim Sahi Bukhari the Quran those are sufficient enough to to guide you in this life and I feel like a lot of the youth they don't go back to the basics back to the roots of how Islam started so I would like you know to advise everyone go back to the basics and read up on history and that's how you're able to be Muslim on your own and build that connection with Allah on your own and it's gonna be enjoyable because you did it on your terms as well so like I always say this religion is so perfect and and you know you end up tailoring it of course according to the Sunnah but being comfortable and happy within it and she'll have a very thankful friend and you mentioned earlier in the heinesian's discussion that you had attended umrah can you share with us a little bit about your experience yeah so in 2017 I was invited to go visit it was it's been a life you know since I became Muslim 23 years ago to to visit that to visit umrah and go to the kaba when I went there I wasn't I didn't know what to expect but the feeling I had the connection I had with along it it brought a lot of peace to my life and it brought a lot of closure to my life and so it was an amazing amazing journey and inshallah I can go visit again because I also feel like if you go there it's an invitation from Allah yeah so I I say inshallah I'm gonna invite me again to come to his house and you know to take take on that blessing inshallah hajj next that's all again an invitation from Allah right absolutely wonderful it's truly been a pleasure chatting with you and learning more about you I'm hoping that we'll get together again sometime and learn even more in terms of what life has in store further down the road so yeah it's just like a lot of fighting for inviting me here and anytime I look up to you as well as sister we are indeed blessed beyond measure and it is wonderful to share our experiences and to be here in this moment so very grateful alhamdulillah and I will say in closing that we we are really a part of something so extraordinary wonderful maybe Muslim holding the pillars of Islam and there are such extraordinary people who are so dedicated to helping and to helping each other and I think that when we're walking past each other oftentimes you know we are in the hurry of our own lives in the hurry of our own ways but it's nice to actually take a moment and and really give a sincere a salam aleikum and realize that that person that you just walked past has probably spent 15 hours very disciplined in their prayer and dedication to their time with Allah and how special their their gift is and to be more connected I think is so incredibly important so you've inspired me and so grateful for MCC to bring people more closely together and and allow us to worship Allah more deeply we're enriched and alhamdulillah much more blessings will come and we'll strengthen in our worship and inspire and encourage each other