 I actually started wearing hijab at the age of seven, and maybe seven, eight, nine, my memory's not serving me right, but I started wearing it. And when I started wearing the hijab, I could say it was forced, right? It was forced, I was told to wear it, and so I wore it without any understanding of it. Now, I grew up in the Bay Area, I grew up in Richmond, and at that time I was one of the three Muslims in the schools, and the only one wearing hijab, and one of the three South Asians that were in the school, so I was double whammy, just all sorts of minority in there. And when I wore it, when I came to school that day, including my Muslim best friend, asked me, why am I wearing it, what is that? And I was bombarded with questions that I didn't really understand how to answer that. And from there on, I felt like I was ostracized. I felt like I no longer carried friends or people I thought I knew were my friends. I didn't have anyone to play with anymore. Everyone just kind of looked at me and were like, ugh, like who is she? And at that time I didn't understand, but I started to feel like, okay, why am I being singled out? And I didn't know why I was being singled out. Even with peers, even with teachers, I felt like I was being singled out. Whatever I said, it was like not considered. So much so that one day I was walking up and a girl came and slapped me, just because I don't even know why. I was like, what did I do? And the teacher explained and the teacher was like, just dismissed me. And I was like, okay. And this happened all throughout my elementary school. And up until when I was in fifth grade, I officially knew in fifth grade when I was 11 years old that I officially don't have any friends. I don't have anyone. And it just, I felt lonely. I felt lonely. I felt like just, I felt unlovable. I actually felt unlovable. I felt like I didn't belong. I felt like I was just someone that didn't need to exist there. And it was hard. So fast forward in middle school, I get to middle school and I have an all girls PE class. And at this time, everyone that I went to elementary school came to middle school with me. So everyone knew me. And PE lockers are changing. And I have my hijab off. And oh my God, the hijab came up. Oh my God, you have hair. Oh my God, look at law. And I had hair. I forgot this is live streamed. And people were just touching my hair and they were like, you look so different. It's like I'm an alien. It's just a hijab. Obviously, of course I have air. But, you know, and, but I got attention. People started to like me. And I felt, I felt like I was wanted again. I felt like, oh, I'm going to have friends. And so, you know, of course I, you know, during that time and process, I felt like, maybe I shouldn't have it on. Maybe this is, you know, I feel like with it, with it on, it's just going to be too hard. I'm not going to have friends. I'm not going to have people to like me. I'm not going to look pretty. I'm not going to, you know, I'm not going to be able to do anything. And, you know, I slowly rebelled a little bit. I rebelled a bit and I continued to do that. But, you know, every once in a while, when I would put my hijab on or take it off, like I would notice the difference in how people treated me versus how people treat me without it. And fast forward to high school. You know, I just constantly felt like I had to conform. I had to do something to be liked. I just couldn't be me. And then I thought to myself, you know, this is, this is hard. Why, like why? But then I stopped. I stopped and I said, okay, it's been a long time. It's been a long time. I've been thinking like this. I've been feeling like this. Why am I wearing it? And I had to stop myself from thinking so much about, you know, being liked or what have you. And I asked myself, what is the reason for me to wear this? Not that time I had some friends, you know, I was, it was progressing, okay, socially. So I said, you know, okay, I wear this because, because Allah has asked me to wear this. Allah has told me to wear this. So you know what? Bismillah. I will now wear it, not because it was a choice of somebody else, but because I choose to wear this, because it is my choice now to put this on. And Subhanallah, that is when I felt like I liberated myself because I made a decision. I made a decision to wear something. When I struggled with wearing the hijab, I felt as though it was too difficult and almost a burden upon me. But if you can recall my story, everything up until the point of me asking myself why I'm wearing it, I was worried about why were it consisted of peers, my friends. It consisted of friends, society definitions, what I am liked, disliked, whether I am disliked, whether I fit in, whether I don't fit in, how do I look? Am I, you know, am I good enough for everybody here? And we often equate hijab to be a burden or difficult, not because the hijab itself is negative, but the experiences we share or that we go through that make it negative. It's the emotions that we attach, that we are attached to that create that negativity feeling. And so that entire time, all of that negativity I was associating with, oh, I put hijab on so this is why I'm having it. But no, that was coming from people, people's perceptions, people's actions, people's behaviors. And I thought, oh, it was my hijab. Some common thoughts and feelings that I, you know, I've spoken to a lot of people, people have shared their stories and something I've heard of throughout my life is when people wear the hijab, they fear of being harmed by people when they're walking down the street. I mean, there was a time, you know, back in 2013 or 14 that in the Bay Area, we had people being, hijab is being targeted. People would look at them up and down. I mean, I don't know if anybody remembers that, but that was happening and people were afraid. They were afraid to walk outside of their home and go to the store. There's fear of not having friends. That's a lot. I mean, I know there's a lot of young girls here and friends are important. Our social life is important. And so we recognize that and not fearing, not having a friend or being social or having that social life can really be debilitating, really, because that's, that's, as teens, that's what we think about. That's what's important for us. But also fear of not looking pretty. A lot of times we look at hijab as a way of stopping our beauty, but somehow I did hear some, some of the crowd here saying that it reminds them of beauty, love. I'm glad to hear that, but there are a lot of people that feel that way. I mean, I just recently asked my own daughters, I have, I'm a single mom of four daughters and my older ones, you know, officially started wearing hijab on their own. And I asked them, I'm like, okay, so what's, you know, why do you wear it? And, you know, and one of them felt it was a struggle and she's like, because maybe I'm not going to be light. Maybe I'm not, I'm not pretty. And those are real thoughts. Those are real thoughts that at some point, maybe all of us felt a certain way. For others it's easy and for some it's, there's a struggle. So, and even I've also, I've also heard people feel, you know, people say that, okay, I'm not married. Maybe I should take my hijab off. So maybe I'll get married quicker. You know, and these are, these are real life thoughts. Now, our perception of hijab is tainted by all of these negative thoughts, all of these negative experiences. But where does all of this come from? Too often the word hijab is mentioned and then oppression follows. And we have a society pouring this narrative down us that, oh, look, she's a hijabi, she must be oppressed. Oh man, I feel so sorry for you. You have to wear that. Your parents forced you to wear that? And it's just, it's just a constant, constant restriction that they're pouring down us. And you know what ends up happening? We start to believe in that. We start to take the narrative that our society tells us and we make it our narrative. And thus we fall into that trap that has, it must be oppression for us. But do you know why we fall into that? Because we have removed Allah from the equation. If you recall all my entire story, I didn't think about Allah up until the point where I asked myself, why, why did I wear it? Why am I wearing it? It's because we removed the one who commands us. And who is Allah? Who is the one? Now, when Allah commands us to do something, the first, the first thing that opposes those commands is our desires. Just like Sister Hotha was talking about our enoughs, our desires get in the way. We are a society that, well, we want, we want it now. And what we want, we just, we want to have it. But it, the desires itself gives us the immediate pleasure. It gives us the immediate reaction that we want. And that's why we crave it. And our desires pushes us in that direction. Because, man, I want that. Oh, that looks so pretty. I don't want to go get that. I don't got money, but I'm going to go get that. You know? Or the TikTok trends that are happening. Oh, you know, this is happening. So I'm going to go do this. I'm going to go, I'm going to have that. I'm going to do this. And we're just, we've become a society that just is, is constantly bombarded. Just like Sister Hotha said, with all of this, you know, the glitter, it's really glitter. It's all glitter. But what happens when we get it? What happens if you go after, you know, have you guys ever felt like, okay, you know what, my weakness is boba tea. So I'm like, oh, I really want boba tea. So I'm going to go get it. Then I drink it and I'm done. I'm done. My desire is fulfilled and I'm done. I really don't want it anymore now. It was just a split second of pleasure. But that's what this world is. It's a split second of pleasure. It's a split second of getting what you want and then that's it. The feeling is gone. The feeling is done. We no longer feel that. And now we're craving for the next feeling. And this is what that temporary life is. So do we want to have that feeling just for a split second or do we want to have it forever? Do we want to have things just for a moment or do we want to have that to last forever? That's the difference between the pleasures of this world and the pleasures of the next. This is our temporary. We're just passing through. Now, every one of us wants to belong and have a sense of identity that is fulfilling. We naturally want to be part of a greater force. We want to be part of something good. We want to be part of something great. We want to be part of something that contributes really good. And we're like, yeah, that's us. That's who we are. That's us. But unfortunately, the way our society has projected Muslims, the things that are happening to us makes people feel like we're just going through so much. Why do we want to be a part of this? Why do I want to continue with this? We're being persecuted left to right. We're being told what to do. We're being put down. We are being striked in places. We don't have freedom. So it feels nerve-wracking to be a part of that society. But Allah tells us, Inna lillahi wa inna ilayhi rajium To God we belong and to God we return. Who do we belong to? We belong to Allah. We belong to Him and that is who we are going to go back to. That is our belonging. That is our sense of confidence. That is our sense of being. We are part of an ummah that is great. We are part of an ummah that is going to have everlasting peace. That's who we belong to. A lot of us are searching for belonging with our friends, our career, our people, our society. But Allah is here. Allah is here with us. He's telling you he loves you. He wants you to be with him. And that he is our end destination. He is our end goal. He is our purpose. And our purpose in this world is to worship him. He is our destination. So there are many paths that attain this destination, which is Allah. But we are unable to attain it by not following his directives. Yasmeem Baja had actually wrote this quite some years ago and she said, Hejab isn't a destination we get to or a crown that you wear once you reach that destination. Hejab is a part of a path. It is a fuel to the end goal, which is Allah. It's a journey, ladies. It's always going to be a journey. It's a path that's a means to Allah. And a means when we are on that path to Allah, the obedience to him requires sacrificing our desires. And sacrificing our desires comes with struggle and the struggling and training ourselves. And when we struggle that end goal, when we get there, it's much sweeter than when we attain it. How many of you guys, when you guys have a test, what do you guys have to do when you guys have a test? It's coming up. Study. Yeah. You have to work hard for that test, right? Because if you don't pass that test, you might not pass the grade. You might not pass the class. You might not go forward. Just like that, this is our life. This is our test. We have to study it. How do we study it? We learn. We learn what we have to do. And we strive. We strive ourselves to get there. I looked at Hejab as freedom. Freedom from the shackles of my desires. Freedom from the shackles of worrying about people's perceptions about me. Liberation from being tied down to what others wanted of me. I was so worried about people that what they thought, what they said, what would happen, so much so that I was conforming myself to their definitions of me. I gave them power over me. Why did I give that power away? Why do we give power away to people who do not deserve that? We deserve our own power. So we have to gather that strength. Once I wore the Hejab for the sake of Allah, Allah gave me friends that had my back. I went from zero friends, zero likeability, to being able to have so many beautiful friends, so many people, so much so that my friends now say, man, who doesn't know you? I'm like, I don't know about that. I don't know. But Allah gave me what I desired, because he is a razaq. He is our giver of sustenance. We think about sustenance and risk as just money. No, sustenance comes in the forms of friendship, love, understanding, people, everything that you can think of. That's what risk means. That's what Allah is. Allah wants to give us. All he asks is your obedience to him. You know, one time, you know, Hejab, kind of, you know, we think about Hejab as just kind of you put a scarf on and what have you, but Hejab is a continuous process, a continuous struggle and a continuous growth. When I was in college, you know, I started wearing Hejab. How many times do we hear someone say, you know, you're wearing Hejab, but look at the clothes that you're wearing. How many of you guys experienced that? Yeah, yeah. And then, you know, then you try to wear that and then, you know, someone tells you, look at what you just did. Like, you're a Hejabi. How are you a Hejabi and you're doing this? How many of you guys experienced that? Yeah, yeah, oh man. How disheartening is that? Does that give you courage to continue the Hejab? No. Does that, does that discourage you from the Hejab? Yeah, yeah, absolutely it does. So when I was in college, you know, as I grew up in Richmond, I was kind of coined the ghetto Hejabi. You know, it took some time to get rid of that, that, that perception. But I had a friend. I had a friend and Soprano Lospanto is so merciful. This friend, this friend said to me one day, yeah, of course, I didn't, you know, I was, I was still wearing my Hejabi. I mean, I used to tie it from the back and I used to put it like Tupac style, put a hoodie on and walk out and, you know, sometimes I was wearing all sorts of different types of clothes. So one day I was wearing clothes that I probably shouldn't, you know, be wearing. And this friend looks at me and this friend actually, you know, for a while, you know, we had a mutual respect and they used to help me out in a lot of things. And this friend one day looked at me and said, isn't your mom so clothes? My own is a tailor. She sold only clothes. And I was like, yeah. And they said, ask her to sew you some, some more. Yeah. For a second, I know, I know, I got a little look. So you're like, oh man, that's messed up. But you know what? Nobody told me anything about my clothes, about what I was doing, whether it was right or wrong. Only this person had the guts to come to me and tell me something. And it hit me to my core. Not that I was offended, but I said, yikes. Hey, you are right. What am I wearing? And that takes, that, that takes effort. That takes a way to say it. So if you're in here that you, you know, try to tell your friends, oh, you're not wearing. No, you have to build trust. You have to build understanding. And maybe, you know, I had friends that probably looked at me and said, man, she gonna beat me up if I tell her anything. So maybe people didn't come to me, but you know what? I was valued. I valued that. And that's, that's been etched in my memory because from that day on I started striving. I strove. I strived. I actively worked on progressing my hijab, progressing my attire, and eventually I am here today. We oppress our souls by not progressively working on ourselves to be better each day. We oppress our souls by denying our souls comfort of where and to whom we belong to. It's hard. It's hard being a hijabi. It is very, very hard. And for some it's easy and for some it's hard. And maybe for some it's a fluctuation. That maybe some days are easier than the next. And maybe some days are harder, but pushed through because the greater the struggle, the greater the reward. People are going to come on the Day of Judgment sisters and they're going to see people that struggled a lot on this day, on this earth. And Allah is going to give them something that the people are going to be like, man, I want to go back to this world and I want to struggle just like them. The ease that's going to come there, that's waiting. It's waiting for you. So what I want to, what I want to share with you guys is that there are a few tips and tools. I know sometimes we hear things and you know, we think that, okay, great, that's cool. I got some power back in me and that's it. But there are some things that have helped me along the way to continue to wear the hijab, to continue to deal with my struggles. Because hijab is not only the struggles that we deal with. There's a lot of things that we deal with internally, but there are things that have helped. And I just want to share that one, one tip or tool that has been very, very helpful for me. Is one, I was listening to a lecture by Sheikh Masleh from RIS and he was actually addressing the youth and he said, he gave an example and a story, and I apologize, I don't remember the surah, that when the Prophet Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam lost his wife, Khadija R.A., and lost his biggest supporter, his uncle. And he was at Tha'if being pelted, thrown rocks at, covered with blood. He didn't have, and he Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam didn't have even what he, a revelation coming down to him for a while. Can you imagine what he, Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam felt and went through? And at that time, Allah SWT said, we know the condition of your heart. Now I want to pause right there. Think about this. You can tell your friend next to you how you feel and maybe you can understand how your friend feels, but can you actually understand the intricacies of how they actually feel? No. The depth of that feeling is only to you. You are the only one who know how hard that is in that moment. But Allah is saying, we know the condition of your heart. I know exactly how you feel, how much of a depth of a pain that you are going through right now. Only I know, I know that feeling. And so then the shaykh goes on and says that Allah says, remember me. Now I want to pause there. We hear this a lot, right? Remember Allah, make Likr, start thinking about him. But I had heard another scholar speak about this recently that there was a world of souls. Our souls were there and Allah SWT manifested himself as he saw fit. And we submitted to Allah. Our souls said, yes, we believe. There was a connection between your soul and Allah. And so Allah is saying, is reminding us, remember that connection you have with me. Remember me. And then Allah says the next step is, be like the people of Sajda. Now Allah could have said, go make wudu, go pray, go pray turqat, go pray turqat, go face a qabla, and pray your turqat. No, he just said, be like the people of Sajda. So sisters, you don't even have to be, you could be in your menstrual cycle, you don't even have to be wearing hijab. But if you're feeling so broken and so hurt and pained, all you have to do is get your head on the floor. You get down in that Sajda because guess what? Allah is right there next to you, so close to you that you don't even have to say what it is that you are feeling. You could even just say Allah and start crying and he knows exactly what he's going to give you, what exactly you're going to need at that moment. And so sisters, when I heard this, I was going through a lot of struggles at that time. And I remember there was a couple of stories I want to share with you because this is Trident Test. It's not just something that I heard and said, okay, cool. There was one moment that I came and I was, I was struggling with something and I just, I needed to cry. I couldn't figure out what to do and I was so constricted and I remember I slipped away in my parents' garage and nobody knew I was there. It was that night time. And you know, as a Muslim or a South Asian, when you learn the art of crying silently, or at least I did, you know, and I went into that garage and it was dark and I just put my head on the floor and I started crying because the only thing that I needed at that moment was a hug of Allah and I didn't know. I was like Allah, I don't know what I need. I need your love. I need you to hug me. I just, everything that was coming out of me was just that and I cried for 15 minutes on the floor in the dark. Now, 15 minutes later, my brother comes down and just a disclaimer. You know, we're not much of an affectionate family. I'm kind of changing that with my mama forcing her hugs. And my brother comes down, turns on the light, looks at me. Then he looks away and calls my mom. He's like, mom, come down here. She comes downstairs. He's like, go give her a hug. Those 15 minutes were not heard by nobody but Allah. My head was on that floor crying and asking him for hug and who Allah knew that I needed my mother's hug at that moment. And he gave it to me and then, and the peace that came over me at that moment and the very next day, the troubles that I was going through. I didn't even, I didn't even get to ask him what the trouble I was going through and he solved my problem the next day. Share another story with you. As a single mom, there are a lot of struggles and a lot of challenges, you know, and I was going through that. And, you know, I remember I was dropping my children off to school and, you know, and I, and someone had said something to me that really hurt me and takes a lot, a lot for, for me to be hurt. And I felt like, okay, I'm going through this struggle. You understand this, you know this, but why, okay. All right. And I was so shocked hearing that. And it shook me, it shook me to my core. But then I said to myself, okay, all right, what do I need to change in this? Oh, I know you said this for a reason for me. So you know what? I'm going to take this and I'm going to, I'm going to do something about it. I'm going to change. But you know what? That still hurts. That really hurts that entire day I cried. And that entire day I cried and cried and cried. And at that night I was still crying by myself. And I said, Allah, I know I'm going to take this and I'm going to take this as an opportunity and a lesson to, to change because I know what I need to change. So I'm going to change. But Allah, that really hurt. And I don't know what I need. I'm sorry. And I cried all night. The very next day as I was dropping my child to school, that same individual saw me and started walking towards me and raised their hands out and said, I am so sorry. I thought of you all night. How could I have said this to you? I broke down crying because guess what? I didn't tell this individual anything. And I cried all night. Allah is the one who heard me. I was hurt. And here I was crying all night. And here she was thinking about me all night. And not only that Allah swt that turned her into a resource for me. So this is something that I take in my life when I am struggling. A struggle is no big or small. There's no measurement of struggle. Anything that you feel hardship about, just talk to him. Tell him, Allah, I'm hurt. I'm hurt. I'm hurt. If you don't have words Allah, just say Allah, there are many times where I would be driving. And I just, all I am doing is saying Allah and crying because I don't have the words. SubhanAllah, another tip that I do, and I'm sorry I think I'm taking more time, but another tip that I do is that sometimes when I'm crying it's Allah and I'm just crying. There was this one moment recently that I kept saying Allah, I need you. I need you. I need you. I didn't know what else to say. Again, I felt like I need you. I don't know what to do. I need you and I'm here. Can you hear me? And right after that, something I like to do is I have books of 99 names of Allah. I like to just close my eyes, take the book and just open it and see what name do I come up with. And that day when I was crying, I cried for almost an hour at night silently. And I opened the book and the attribute for the name that came up as I opened it was Al-Qarib, Al-Mujib, the one that is near and the one that answers. And all I was doing was crying and asking him to be next to me, to listen to me. And Allah reminded me that I am here. Just as he reminds me that he is near and here, he is here for all of you. He is always going to be here. So seek him. JazakAllah al-Qarib. JazakAllah al-Qarib. That's such a beautiful reminder, masha'Allah. And I loved how you put Sejda in that way as a hug of Allah, and to know that he's always with us no matter what we're going through. And to know that as long as we're close to him, insha'Allah that he will resolve and fix matters for us no matter what we're going through. And I'm going to go out on a limb and say that I don't think that you had zero likeability, subhanAllah. I think it was Allah subhanAllah saving you and protecting you for the right friends, people that are actually worth your time. So I want to take a moment here and do a question and answer session. Okay, my question is the day to day when you struggle, reminding yourself that it's for Allah subhanAllah, because I'm the one who struggles with hijab. Because the inner doll wants to just always be there. So how do you keep that momentum when in the morning you wake up and you just don't want to put it on. And you're just like, my hair looks good. I really don't want to put it on. So you just remind yourself that it's for Allah and not resent the whole day. You're just like, the sun is shining, the sun is there and I can't feel it. How do you progress? And like keep that solid grounding, you know, this is for Allah all the time because it does come. Faith comes and it goes and then you're just like, man, I just really am going to stay home today because I just don't have it in me to go out and cover. Yeah. JazakAllah. Okay, and for sharing that, you know, you said it right. Faith comes in and out in so many different levels. Eman comes in and out. We're not expected to have this equilibrium of Eman. Nobody, if that was it, we're going to be in Jannah, man. You know, that's not this world. It happens and there are going to be days that you have that. Those are the days that you push through just a little bit harder. It's not just about reminding yourself, okay, this is for the sake of Allah. Sit with yourself. Sit with yourself that, yes, today this is hard for me. Yes, today I don't feel like wearing it Allah. It's so hard for me to wear it today. I really don't want to wear it. It's okay to feel that way. It's okay to tell yourself that. Acknowledge that because what you're doing is you're fighting your soul, you're fighting yourself and your emotions and trying to be like, no, no, no, don't come, don't come. It's okay, let it come. Sit with that emotion. And remind yourself that, okay, today was harder. What was easier for me the other day? What made it easier? Okay, maybe the sun wasn't out. That made it easier, right? It was, yeah, it was cold. There's snow on the mountains. Yeah, I know, there's snow on the mountains. But it's okay. Continue to, there are going to be daily things that you have to do to replenish your soul, right? Every single day, you know, we go out there in the world. If we don't do things to recharge our battery, it's going to be so much more harder to continue to do that. Just like a bank ATM, right? You need to put in money to take out money. If you keep putting, if you keep taking out from that bank of yours without replenishing that bank of yours of soul and recharging yourself and giving you that self-care that you need, it's going to be harder to do. So for that, start to, you know, some things that I've done that have helped me is that I read the Salaam on the Prophet Salaam every single day. I read the Astaghfar every single day. This helps, this helps me in going through, because one Salaam on the Prophet Salaam gives you 10 mercies from Allah. And perhaps one of those mercies is going to be that strength to plow through. So may Allah make it easy on you. I have one more question to add. So I feel like there's a little bit of disconnect between our generation, like 30s and younger, is like, we understand what it was like post-911 and everything, but we don't understand what the Sahabi'at really struggled with, because all we ever hear is they tore their clothes and they put it on their hijab and they were like, that bad, you know, they were like so hardcore. And then we're over here like, ugh. So like, what examples do we have of them struggling or them going through their lives and what hijab was like for them back then? So that we can be like, oh, they've been there, they've done that, you know, on top of replenishing our Eman Bank, you know, keeping that flow. But how do we also connect that our sisters in Islam went through this? They did it, it's written, you know. How do we connect that? Yeah, so I don't have any particular stories at the top of my head, but what I can share is when the command, how Allah swt brings down a command, it wasn't just he brought it down just like this. There were years in between, one example would be there was, when the command came down to pray into, right, in the Mughan period, there was a lot of struggle that happened in the Mughan period. And on one particular one, I remember hearing a sheikh talk about this, that, about alcohol specifically, that alcohol wasn't said to, okay, that's it, can't do it. First was, okay, don't be intoxicated while coming near prayer. Then it was another step. Then it was another step. When the, when the, migrated to the Medinan period, there was 10 years of that, then came the commandment down to now no more alcohol. It was baby steps. We today think like, okay, you know, especially for our converts, our reverts, you know, that, okay, now you're Muslim, you gotta do this, you gotta do this, you gotta do this. No, start slowly, and work on it. Just like the progression piece is that you put your hijab on, may not wear your clothes properly today, that's okay. Maybe that act of yours is going to give you the strength later to conform and change to that. Maybe Allah loves an act of yours that he will give you that strength and guide you to that. We try to see, okay, they did it, they did it, but they struggled. They struggled a lot before they were able to do it. And this is our struggle. You shouldn't look at it as, this is just a very little struggle compared to what they did. No, this is your struggle. Own your struggle. It's okay to have this struggle. So, you know, it's essentially, you know, kind of working towards that and I'm sorry, I think I lost track of the question that you had. I don't know if I, for the previous, the past, yeah. So there are probably a lot more stories and unfortunately don't have that on top of my head. I apologize. Peace be upon you. My question revolves around the hyper acceptance in our current society and the standards that neoliberalism has in terms of clumping us with other agendas and then having those neoliberals start talking about things like Mahsa Amini and Iran and them using hijab and saying it's basically like a weaponization and it's a form of oppression. So how do our young ones kind of reconcile the fact that these neoliberals want them to feel like they're welcomed but then they have to welcome everybody but then all of a sudden are blackballed because of things that are happening in other parts of the world that have nothing to do with, you know, the commandment of hijab in our faith. So I probably am not the best person to address this. But in terms of, I think the question was how do we help our youth recognize? To reconcile the fact that there's the far left and how they want to welcome everybody and everyone's welcome and you see those posters everywhere except for women wearing hijab because of things like Mahsa Amini who unfortunately was executed or killed because she was not wearing hijab and then the far left saying let's burn all the hijabs and then you see the thing that you're wearing as a form of oppression even though you yourself are not participating in whatever their outcries are about. So there's a lot of extremism in our community, in our cultures. We go from one end to another end very quickly and part of the issue is learning and understanding what our own extremisms are within us. How do we reconcile with okay, if we see this happen is it logical asking ourselves these questions gaining insight into okay, if one person was persecuted because of this does that mean that the entire symbol needs to be persecuted? Unfortunately, media and news they don't share the entirety of the story. They don't share all of that. It's based off of people's feelings and emotions and thoughts and desires it comes right back to how we are interpreting that how much do we know of it and how much are we giving into it how much are we giving into that and part of the struggle in today's generation of youth is to recognize what our desires are recognize what is it that we want and how is it being projected out into the society and how they are using that against our youth. This idea that we have to be free what's the definition of freedom? That's what everybody has to ask themselves what is your definition of freedom? Is it this? Is it going to this extreme because somebody was persecuted unlawfully that you're going to go ahead and just do this is that what we are teaching ourselves? Or do we look at it from a different point of view that hey, something bad happened here this is wrong but why are we labeling everything with it? So that's sort of my thoughts about it I apologize I may not have answered that as justly as possible but I think we do need to as parents really talk about these with our youth I mean it's not just alright you gotta do this and this is how it's done or this is wrong we have to explain and we have to start talking about who Allah is and what this religion is about you know we come from generations that we get we had told certain definitions of our deen and we don't really understand the depths of it but there's so much in it so if we don't share that with our youth if we don't guide them that way if we don't get them to start thinking critically then we are already behind so if you don't do that now do it today open up talk about it you know listen listen to our youth and what they're thinking and what they're feeling because yes it's about sometimes it's about validating your own daughters you know struggles it's about validating all of that and if you can and I'm sure daughters if you, if moms just said okay baby I understand or I'm here to listen to you I'm sure you'd open up a little bit more to your mamas as well so inshallah may Allah make it easy on them that was really good thank you okay yeah you're gonna live of course not okay so one of the things that that comes to mind first is that it sounds like you know that okay this is what I'm going to do it you've made a plan you've made a made a so you've made a plan and now it sounds like you're testing out that plan with others maybe it's your family maybe you're maybe you're telling them so you know either you're wanting to see either approval or disapproval from it and you know the first thing is to ask yourself okay is my plan something I want to do am I just saying it because I'm being told I have to do this am I just just throwing it out that I'm gonna do this or am I stalling am I doing this what am I doing what am I saying this for why am I making this plan right and so I know it's hard sometimes you know as I'm a parent now right and I come from both sides where of you know wanting to not wear it to wanting to wear it into having daughters who wear it and I know it's discouraging when you know you hear like you're not gonna live yes that's correct I don't know whether I'm going to live tomorrow that I have made an intention that this is when I am going to start and I ask Allah to help me with this that is a response that you can start with because it is about intention make your intention first make your resolve make sure that you've made that resolve with Allah that Allah please help me with this I've made a plan because we plan that Allah plans and perhaps that simple sincere intention of yours Allah might even put it in your heart and make it easy and maybe tomorrow you wear it maybe you don't maybe you wear it in the 11th grade but maybe when you wear it you are solid when you wear it and for the people that tell this young woman that you're gonna live the next day yes that's right you may not live but her intention is what's going to count here we don't know if that intention is what's going to get her to solidify maybe she wears it tomorrow and takes it off the next day because she wasn't ready or maybe she wears it when she gets into 11th grade and she puts it on and she goes full force with it and she is strong and confident because she chose that time to wear and she chose herself to build herself to get to that point it's a building process it's not a do it and do it now so that's my thoughts on that final question I think the sister there wanted to say something so I became hijabi in 6th grade and it was like my choice and since like I was in middle school like I've had a lot of people say stuff to me I'm still in 8th grade like I'm still in middle school and I've had like several situations especially with like boys and like I've been like touched like they touch my hijab and like they like send messages around like about me and the school does nothing about it and like I've gone multiple times and like I don't know what to do first may Allah make this easy on you and grant you justice and all the injustice that you are going through my advice number one is to get your family involved it is absolutely not okay for that to happen I have seen with my own eyes when I was in those grades of hijabs being snatched off the hairs of girls and it is absolutely not okay to have that and you should not have to deal with this alone get your support system in there talk to your family get your family in there there are advocates out there and specifically if this is happening and nothing is happening get care involved care is a very good resource so if the school isn't doing anything get them involved get more people involved may Allah make it easy on you I know it is not easy at all I've seen it I've been in that situation and just keep standing tall and keep asking Allah the most just he will surely find a way I have a question too I'm going to start working at high school I'm working at high school there are all like teenagers over there since I start working there is like the kids telling me like you know not like face to me but behind me like oh she looks ugly she looks scary because she wore hijab and the teacher and principal doesn't tell me anything and I talk with my family and they said you can remove your hijab because in Quran they didn't like exactly say that you have to wear it but if but I said the principal and the teachers didn't tell me anything about my hijab but they said if they are not telling you anything they will make something like small thing that they can fire you but yeah some like a lot of jobs I didn't hire because I wear hijab and in the free month it's good a lot of people wear hijab but I'm living in San Jose so over there a lot of people didn't wear hijab and when you wear hijab everyone is like staring you or talking about you I'm just like confused like I don't know about a lot of like search a little bit the Quran but they exactly didn't tell that you have to wear but I don't know what to say so I'm not a scholar so I'm not going to comment on the commandment and I would encourage you to speak to a scholar for that portion of it but in terms of the other things I'm just going to remind that yes that's hard that's really hard to do and I understand how difficult it is and as I was mentioning earlier this really makes it difficult for us to continue wearing what we wear and it's hard to do that but my sincere and humble advice is to look at the names of Allah and one of the names of Allah is Ar-razaq the Sassanat the risk giver he is the one who has already written for you where your risk is going to come how much it's going to come and where and when that's going to happen so whether you have your hijab or whether you don't have your hijab that is written for you and maybe perhaps there is a bigger wisdom in you going through this and perhaps the struggle that you go and the steadfastness that you show and maybe perhaps within that Allah SWT gives you something much greater than that so my advice to you is keep your faith in Allah talk to people ask scholars what to do in this instance and share your experience about it I know you're saying that the administration isn't doing anything about it but maybe perhaps suggesting to the administration how to teach children how to be tolerable tolerant of other people's religion the staff need to come together and provide workshops that's essentially the issue in today's schooling public schools is that there's no character development happening these kids are saying whatever doing whatever and you know it's running wild and there's no development like that happening so it really takes a bigger effort and maybe perhaps through you Allah uses you to gather that and inform others maybe there's other people that are going through this but maybe through you Allah uses to guide others and help others and encourage you and shella to continue to seek out that help I think we have one question here and one last question sometimes I ask Allah to help me with my struggles but then I feel zero connection with him and the issue doesn't pass this has happened before with my feelings about hijab me asking Allah to support me and help me through it from the deepest depths of my heart but the help never came any advice this is a heavy one and I will say that I sometimes have these thoughts it's like okay do I feel the connection right now do I feel it but what does that feeling feel like do we have a particular feeling that we're supposed to have when we have that connection so you have to ask yourself and this is something that I've asked myself is that do I only feel connected when I'm sad about something when I'm talking to Allah is that when I feel connected how come I don't feel connected now it reminds me of the companions who came to the Prophet Salim and said oh Prophet Salim when we are with you we cry we think about Allah we think about the afterlife we're so much into it but when we go back to our families we laugh at the Prophet Salim and I please forgive me if I'm saying this wrong but just paraphrasing here that that if you were always like that then you'd be angels allo halam and may Allah forgive me I don't remember the last part of it but we're not meant to always be like that we're not meant to always be in this constant state of I'm connected those connections come in many different forms maybe perhaps you feel that there's a particular expectation on how that feeling or how that connection is supposed to look like or supposed to feel like and you're waiting for that to happen but maybe perhaps think about it is there any other things happening in your life that Allah swt is doing for you are there any other things that Allah is bringing for you that maybe perhaps might somewhat help you in that moment maybe perhaps it's sitting here and listening to others going through that struggle help comes help always comes but it doesn't come in the form that we wanted to come it doesn't come in the form that we think it's going to come and maybe perhaps that dua that you're reading remember there's three things that happens when you read dua one is that it gets accepted right away or that it is delayed for you and given to you later two instead of what you asked Allah gives you something much better than that or three that Allah avert a calamity from you and just maybe and Allah just maybe just a thought out there that if you feel like okay if the last is true if the last is true for you maybe perhaps something else was supposed to come for you and take you away from this deen and Allah swt is stopping that from happening and that you are still doing it you are still there and you're still asking Allah you are still connected to the fact that you are asking Allah is your connection to Allah because Allah has inspired you to make that dua and Allah is continuing to inspire you to make that dua and call on to him that is connection and sisters if you would like you know with the organization that I have we do multiple events also for women and you know we've done socials and what have you please take a look at us it's called wassila connections you can always come up to me and I can share that with you please share our organization spread it and if you can make dua for it