 Now I know in a lot of you who know me by now, you're like, man, that guy Chris is a pretty good guy. Well, it wasn't always that way. So in light of the fact that Jake Paul was most likely cheating on Erica Costell, today I want to get you inside the mind of a scumbag. What is up everybody? This is Chris from the Rewired Soul, where we talk about the problem, but focus on the solution. And if you're new to my channel, my channel is all about mental health. And what I try to do is pull different topics from the YouTube community to try to teach you how to improve your mental and emotional well-being. So for any of that kind of stuff, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell because I make a ton, a ton of videos. So yeah, a huge part of mental health is relationships, who you're dating. And the topic today in regards to like mental health and relationships is, you know, like understanding why people do the things that they do. So I'm a guy and I will share some of my experience in this, but this is, you know, something that, you know, I've experienced. I've had women cheat on me. I wasn't a great guy. And before I move forward, I want to make it clear. I don't know why this matters too much, but I have never cheated on a woman in my life. But I do want to give you some insight as to how I used to be a pretty scummy dude. Okay. So basically for those of you who aren't caught up on what's going on, Jake Paul and Erica Costell recently broke up and it's come to light in a few different ways that Jake has been talking to other Instagram models and all this. And there's another channel over on YouTube called spill. And she put some things together and all of that and people think that that's one of the main reasons they broke up. Now I did give Jake some slack in some of the, uh, Alyssa Violet stuff that was going on with in the Shane Dawson series because they, they kind of talked about how it was like a friends with benefits thing that then was kind of serious, but kind of not and all that. But when it comes to Jake Paul and Erica Costell, like that was like a serious thing. Okay. So if you want to check out my last video, I made about them about fake relationships and why social media is probably making you depressed. Um, but yeah, so let's talk about getting inside the mind of a scummy dude like myself, like Jake. And I really hope, I really hope I don't end up on like a Reddit as like some kind of r slash nice guys type deal. But like I, I used to be a very like young immature, toxic, terrible guy. And, you know, I just want to bring light to some of these situations. A lot of it has to do with age. Um, some of it just has to do with people being scummy. But anyways, like the first thing I want to talk about is like men controlling their urges. Okay. Like this, this is an issue. Like this is one of the reasons why people cheat. Um, you know, and when I say all this stuff, like, you know, women can do it too. You know, it's all that kind of, you know, PC, whatever. But anyways, like men have a problem with controlling their urges. I know, I know that I did when I was young and like the next two topics I'm going to touch on is going to explain this a little bit more on a psychological level. But like you don't have to go and sleep with, you know, everybody who's out there. Like there's a huge problem. Like it's really interesting to me that a lot of my fan base, a very large percentage of you are women because most of my life, most of my friends have been women. Like my best friend is a woman and I have friends with a lot of women. And like, you know, a lot of them come to me for advice about guys and seeing what things are, you know, when they're dating or whatever. But I also hear about all these like terrible things like them getting cat called and followed and all sorts of crazy stuff. And I'm just sitting here. I'm like, dudes, like control yourself, control your urges. Now, like we can go, you know, to like the, the like evolutionary like type level where, you know, guys have hormones and they're horny and you know, whatever. But like here's the thing. Here's what separates us from most of the animal species. Okay. Is that we don't act on all of our impulses. We don't act on all of our urges. Just because you see a attractive woman walking path doesn't mean you have to shout at them. Just because you see an attractive woman doesn't mean you have to DM them or message them or anything like that. And this is a huge problem in relationships because guys sometimes cannot control themselves. And I'm not saying like this is a past. Like they need to work on this. So if you're a guy watching this or if you're a woman watching this and you can relate, you need to start working on this and checking in. Like this is what meditation and mindfulness like, why do I have the urge to say this or reach out to this person? So let's get into the cheating aspect. So again, like I've never cheated, but like I emotionally cheated a lot. Um, I had a lot of, you know, girlfriends where I would be talking to other women and flirting with other women and all of that. So there was also a time when I was single and I was, you know, being kind of a whole myself in my younger days. So one of the things that I think Jake might be struggling with or, you know, men in general or some women in general, mainly, I would say mainly men on this point is impressing other people, right? Like this is a huge issue. A lot of our actions like this goes back to what I keep telling you all. We care way too much about what other people think, right? So like Jake hooking up with other women, Jake talking to other women, you know, Jake putting more notches on his belt, if you will. Some of that is to impress other people, to impress friends. Like it's the same reason why people buy fancy cars and nice washes and, you know, big houses and all these other things. Like they want to impress other people and this becomes an issue. I'm telling you like this, this is a problem. Like, so for example, I just made a video with my buddy Patrick. Um, he's a veteran with PTSD and he talks about opening up about your feelings. Like this is an issue and this is one of those like toxic masculinity things. But like you have guys who are like, oh, you shouldn't be single. You shouldn't or you shouldn't be dating. You shouldn't be tied down. You should be out there. You know, you can get all these chicks and sometimes that gets in your head, right? And that's something very possible with Jake, especially when we look at the way Greg Paul is with Logan and Jake. Like that can become an issue because this goes back to some of that locker room talk that you hear about. Like, you know, these like conquests and these things and like bragging to other guys. Oh, hey, I'm talking to her. I'm talking to this person. I'm talking to that person and all of that. And like, this is why this is why like, I just did a poll over on my community page and like, I'm kind of surprised because I asked how many people are single in a long-term relationship or married. And a lot of people are single. I actually thought most of my audience was like in a long-term relationship or married. But like, I'm glad you guys participated because it helps me kind of make videos geared more towards you. But this is why it's such a big problem. Like because most of you need to stay single. Most people need to stay single. Like if you are still in the mindset where you need to impress your friends with how many girls you talk to or how many guys you talk to or whatever it is, like you should be single. You are not in a position to date. Like I don't care. Like if you want to be promiscuous, if you want to hook up with every man or woman on the planet, you do you baby girl, but be self aware about that and do not get into a committed relationship. Like I have no problem with promiscuity, but when you're getting into a committed relationship, you need to be in a place where you are being committed in a monogamous relationship. Like if you are into like polyamory or open relationships, that's cool. But like I talked about with the Friends with Benefits issue with Jake and Alyssa. Like you have to be on the same page or somebody else is going to be hurt. Like one of your goals every single day is to minimize the damage. It should be to minimize the damage that you do to other people on this planet. Okay. So lastly to round this video out. I will empathize with Jake a little bit just because I understand if this is what's happening. And I also want to give some of you some insight as well. If you've ever been hurt in a relationship in a similar way. And the last thing I want to talk about is insecurity. Okay. So this is something that I personally struggled with a lot and for a lot of other reasons, there were so many different reasons. Like I try to talk to all of you about like, you know, what's enough, right? We always want more. We want more. We want more. Like when I talked in that Anna Akana video from the other day, we're always moving the goalposts. So like first of like we're single and we want to get, you know, a boyfriend or a girlfriend and we get them, right? And we're like, okay, cool. Well, now we want the love and we want the affection. Okay, cool. But now we want more, more, more, more. And I know in my situation, like no matter how much love, no matter how much affection my girlfriend was giving me, it was never enough. It was never enough. So I'd start talking to other girls and, you know, flirting with other girls and stuff because I wanted that attention. And then it would get especially worse if my girlfriend and I were in an argument, then I would go look for that. And I know a lot of people do that. I know somebody who's been in a relationship for like a little over a year now. And every time her and her boyfriend get into a fight, she starts texting other guys like every single time. It's like clockwork, right? And so much of this is insecurity. So much of this is pettiness, like so much. Like I know for me personally, a lot of mine was based on insecurity. Like I felt like I'm, if I could only get the attention from other women, then I would be okay. And a lot of this, a lot of this stems from being the son of an alcoholic mom. All right. So like on a psychological level, like I felt like I never had enough love or attention from the primary woman in my life. So when I, when I felt like that in a relationship, I would reach out and try to get attention from other women. So Tristan and I have been together for like two years now. And this is something that, you know, I no longer do. I have never done it with Tristan because I took a lot of time to work on myself. Like believe it or not, both Tristan and I were single for a very long time before we found each other and started dating. But these are things that I worked on because these are things during my single time that I acknowledged. A lot of you in my poll, you talked about your jealousy and all of those other things. These are reasons why we need to stay single. I had to work on all of these things because getting into a relationship with Tristan two years ago, it wouldn't have been fair to her if every time I felt neglected, every time we got into a little argument or debate, like I started reaching out to other women. That would not be fair for Tristan. So like for a long time before Tristan and I got together, I was working on myself. So by the time I was ready to date and find somebody as amazing as Tristan, like I was in a place where I no longer do those things. Like, and it's so nice too. It's so nice because Tristan can go through this cell phone anytime she wants. And it's such a relieving feeling. Like one of you commented on my video yesterday about how I called people out for quick creating your own problems. Yes, talking to other women whenever I felt insecure was me creating my own problems. And I no longer do that today because I am secure. And a lot of people with borderline personality disorder reach out to me about this stuff. Like is that black and white thinking? It's a problem with separating the truth from the false. So in Jake's case, he might be doing this because he's just an insecure little boy and that's possible. Does it excuse the behavior? Absolutely not. But for any of you who have had this happen to you in a relationship, I just really want to give you some insight. I really want to help you understand what's going on in the other person's mind. Like although it doesn't justify their behaviors because we need to take responsibility and work on ourselves. I hope it gives you a little bit more understanding and maybe, maybe just a little bit of closure. Okay. But anyways, I want to know down in the comments below like you personally, not your ex-boyfriend, not your ex-girlfriend. I want to know you personally. Are you the type of person who feels insecure and you reach out to others to get attention to kind of remedy your insecurities? All right. Let's have a conversation down in the comments below. All right. But anyways, that's all I got for this video. If you liked this video, please give it a thumbs up. If you're new, make sure you subscribe and ring that notification bell and make sure to join my mental health mailing list is down in the description and pinned comments. All right. Huge thank you to everybody supporting the channel on Patreon. You're all amazing. And if you want to sign up on Patreon, click the top right there. All right. Thanks so much for watching. Don't be a cheater and I'll see you next time.