 Hi everyone, this is George Cow and I'm happy to be here with Tessa Stowe We're gonna be talking about happiness today. And so let me first say hi to Tessa. Hi Tessa. Hi George Thanks for doing this. Good to have you here. Hi everybody. And what we are hearing is you might hear some birds because Tessa lives in the beautiful place. She lives in Bali, Indonesia, but let me kind of read you her bio So you all can can have a sense of her background and we'll go from here So a Tessa Stowe calls herself the happiness pathfinder She teaches people the essential life skill of happiness so that they're healthier less stressed and live longer and She got to be doing this because she was She considered herself the complete opposite and she realized that she needed to take action before it was too late and Tessa you're originally from New Zealand and now you live in Bali Yes, do you want to say a little bit about how it got you there? The abbreviated version is January of last year I just had this voice in my head telling me that I need to go away somewhere and think So I listened to my voice and I decided Bali is the perfect place to go and think So I went online found a place to stay which is the resort actually opposite to this one and I arrived and then the next morning I got up and I thought well I'll just walk into town or village and I came out and there was a road to the left Which we which was the obvious road because it went up to the main road And then there was a road to the right wasn't really a road path to the right and there were chickens Wandering around so I thought I think I'll follow those chickens So I thought the chickens down what I then you thought was maybe this is someone's driveway and I thought well they can always show me out, but I kept following these chickens and Sure enough, it was a driveway to someone's house but it was also the back of the resort next door and to cut a long story short I then met the owner of the resort and Within a few minutes of meeting him. He said to me oh Tessa, you might want to come and live here I'll show you an apartment and I thought this guy is Weird we've only just met he wants to show me an apartment, but I'm not rude so I thought I'll humor him So I went and looked at his apartment With just being polite Anyway, the long the short of it here. I am now living in that apartment It's amazing Worked out. Yeah, fantastic. I love it. I really really love it And I always enjoy seeing the photos you post of your life there on your Facebook So be sure to check it out as we're watching. I will link to Tessa's Websites and Facebook and things like that Oh, right. Yes. So let's get into this topic of happiness You know, this is something that you're you're passionate to help others with and and why do you think it's so important? I mean, yes, we all want to be happy But you're looking at it beyond just oh, I want to be happy. But what why is it important in your perspective? Well, it's it's essential for your survival. I you know from personal experience after my husband died from brain cancer and And And it was just first of all having the brain cancer was horrendous, but then after he died my You know any happiness I had just got sucked right out of me. I was I Was stressed out. Oh, yeah, I didn't want to get out of bed. I my health deteriorated I got shingles on my face on my eye specifically which can make you go blind I got severe birthsitis in my shoulder. I could hardly move I was drinking too much wine. I had all these thoughts of guilt I mean, I was just on a downward spiral to not a good place and Essentially I was I Was tricked into happiness back into happiness, but I realized I realized now from from From where I've been and where I am now I've realized if you know happiness is essential for your survival if I kept going the way I was going I Would have ended up with some terminal illness because it's it's interesting because we just not taught this stuff at all in fact that's I've become passionate about happiness and What it is and why and the way for that how we can actually Become happy because I actually think happy well I know actually happiness is a skill It's actually the central life skill that you can learn and the more you practice it the the better you get at it so but basically why I say it's essential is because We basically have George we have two sets of emotions or two buckets we can lump our emotions into so we've got like Positive emotions negative emotions or we've got safe emotions unsafe Stressed unstressed happy not happy. So if I gave you a list of emotions It would be really easy to pop them into a bucket which bucket. So and the thing is what's important though and it's not really well known is And we're not educated on is that these emotions in our minds Convert into chemicals in our body Okay, it's that whole mind-body connection George, which I know that you've you know very focused on yourself But the thing is they they are converted into chemicals into into your body and then the chemicals Caused specific things to happen. So if you're feeling And what are what like what's one or two of those chemicals that that we might recognize? Oh Well, it's more so you can go down in fact, I've actually sort of put in together a list of particular emotion What are the some of the chemicals you know like oxytocin? You know the the hug one Is is you know, that's a really Well-known one for example, but then it's more at a high level at a high level, which is easy to understand is that When you've got when you're having negative or unsafe emotions It converts into chemicals which say to your body Switch your body into survival mode and what that means is take away energy. That's focused on building your immune system Take away energy that's focused on growth and repair and put it all into Surviving the threat put it all into running away and surviving the side the saber-tooth tiger So your heart beats goes your heart beat goes faster your blood pressure goes up, you know Blood rushes to your extremities You get a flush of cortisol so that you you know, you don't feel a pain when you're running away from the saber-tooth tiger So all your energy the key point is that energy is taken away From growth and repair taken away from your immune system and let's face it that makes sense because What's the point in having growth and repair and what's the point in having? Your immune system if you don't survive the saber-tooth tiger so So on the other side of it when you have positive Emotions or emotions of feeling safe The chemicals that it produces in your body are ones that basically say to your body. Okay It's time to thrive and be happy. It's time to To repair, you know, it's time to build your immune system So you'll have all those really good things happen to your body and they're all triggered because of these You know happy positive emotions. So now um The thing is if you're stressed if you're in that stress state for too long and I was in that after my husband died I was in that stress state for you know A long time. I mean I was living in bed at one stage. I mean why get up, you know, no reason No energy either So if you're in that stress state for too long, obviously Because your immune system your immune system Breaks down because there's no energy put on it or very little you all can start to break down and and you get sick so I guess so it's interesting because stress-related diseases now are the number one cause of death and and So some say 70 percent some say 90 percent but between 70 and 90 percent In other words a big number of doctors visits are related to stress So in other words, we seem to be living in this stress state most of the time Which is really not good for your survival So the alternative is instead of living in a stress state. How about living in a Happiness state and the really good news is that You can learn The skill of happiness you can learn how to generate those Happy emotions so you can learn how to generate happy emotions so that your immune system is Is building up and functioning and you're in growth and repairs. So that's why I say You know, it's an essential light happiness is an essential life skill if you want to be happier first of all If you want to be healthier if you want to be less stressed and live longer because they're all They're all connected. That's so it's this whole mind body, so yeah, I'm I'm curious if somebody says well I'm not happy. I'm stressed out because there are things to be stressed out about in my life. Yes. Yes. Yeah, I'm I have income issues. I have health issues. I have maybe family issues I have time not enough time. What do you say? What do you say to that? Yes. Oh, absolutely. Oh my goodness I could I could I could sit here in barley And if I wanted to I'd get myself really stressed out What about stuff? So Absolutely, we all have issues in life. Yeah, uh, which cause us stress and and and I and Don't and it's not it's important. It's really important actually not to deny them Or suppress them but to acknowledge them And then Do what I call even though you're feeling stressed anxious Uh, even even depressed You can still do happiness exercises, which are like a um, I call they're like a brain hack because They're so easy to do and they're so they don't require much energy because let's face it if you're really stressed out And if you're depressed you don't your energy just goes as well So but the cool thing about these happiness exercises They don't take much energy. They don't take much time and they're kind of like a they're like a trick they're like a brain hack because they'll actually Just you'll do them you'll generate a uh, a happy happy emotion And and you'll generate that um that chemical reaction in your body and and if you do these happiness exercises correctly You'll you'll actually just feel good and you want to keep doing them. It's kind of like Yeah, they're they're exercises if you keep doing them. It's just amazingly impact they have So yes, acknowledge the fact that you're feeling stressed acknowledge the fact that you're anxious just but Do that do the exercises and most of the happiness exercises that I that I coach and teach are 60 seconds or less But even though they're 60 seconds or less they have a huge roll-on effect because Once you do some of it some of them and you think wow, that is great It sort of builds a momentum all of its own. You just have to be you just have to get started And you know, that's why I make them so they're so easy and in fact I work with pj fog who's the world's Uh leading expert in creating habits and I use his methodology for all for all the happiness exercises And then specifically when you want to turn some of the happiness exercises into habits so that you just do them Automatically, um, yeah, that's amazing. Yeah, that's it is and maybe you can give us One or two examples of what a happiness exercise looks like Well one that I do every day And this is it's this one is actually a habit as opposed to it Well, when I say difference between an exercise and a habit is Exercise you may just do once or four But a habit is that you just do it automatically. One of the ones I do is Is basically when I wake up in the morning, I put my feet on the ground I stand up and say Today is going to be a great day Yeah So I start that's how I start how I start my day You know, it's amazing. So that's that's a habit A great exercise a great ha a quick happiness exercise Is well, I when I teach happiness exercises, george, I start off There's three distinct camps or stages The first is happiness in the moment then there's happiness in self and then there's happiness in relationships and I start off in happiness in the moment because That's the easiest place to start you're going to get results really quickly And the thing is, you know, we have we're here in a body To the reason we're in a body is so that we can experience the world so that we can like experience Ice cream for example. That's why we're here in a body. And yet We seem to have become disconnected We're we know we're on our we're on our Bones You know on social media. We're everywhere except here in the moment and in the moment. There is just so much Joy and excitement. I mean where I live. Oh my goodness. I go out of my apartment. I just Just walk this beautiful flowers as you you know, you heard the birds. You can probably hear the birds chirping But the only way you can Get happiness from that is actually if you are present to it Because those birds could be chirping all they like but if I'm on my phone or I'm thinking in my head or doing other stuff Just completely miss it. So that's why I start with happiness in the moment because you get huge You know huge bang for your buck and in a great way to be happiness in the moment. Oh my goodness ice cream Actually ice cream is not that easy to get here, but uh, it's like take ice cream You can eat ice cream Or you can experience ice cream It's a big difference In fact, I did a very funny video on Experiencing ice cream and this would be any food actually right any food any food, you know, it's like the very next food we eat Yes, you can just sit there eating it And just eating and not even looking on your phone and not even and somebody said I'm at the end of it What did that taste like and you've got no idea? Or you can experience it Um, and I had one of the most amazing food experiences of my life forever hands down went on Cambodia and a few years ago you went to a blind restaurant the waiters were blind and uh We had to go into a dark dark room and when I say dark you couldn't even see your hand in front of you and And our blind waiter had the eyes So he served us the whole meal the drinks everything And uh, we weren't being told what we were eating I mean, we you know had to check whether you want a vegetarian or normal or whatever. So it was all fine food But you had to you had you experienced it like suddenly food had sound food had like You know you're feeling with your fingers to try and work out because you try to work out what the food was and then the taste and the sounds and Oh my goodness. It was just amazing because that's what I call experiencing food And the guy that I was with um Who I met on this trip. I mean we still to this day Talk about that amazing experience And it's so it's there's so many of these experiences You just we just need to learn and it's a skill. That's why I say happiness is a skill It's an essential life skill that you can learn you can just learn to do these things and you suddenly it becomes Who you are and yes, you'll still have times of stress and fear and anxiety But you just go oh Yep, that's it and you'll And you won't deny them. You won't suppress them, but they'll carry They'll you know, they'll carry with you in your suitcase as you still look on and look at the flowers and hear the birds and experience food and and suddenly um George, I don't know if you've heard about the black dot white dot But it's essentially if I if I had a black dot in front of a piece of paper You'd look at the black and so describe the paper you'd describe the black dot You would ignore the rest of it The white or the white space, right, right? This is all about training your mind really training your mind to look at all the white space While acknowledging there still is the black dot Yeah, it's a way of life really wow So so that's interesting you you have these three kind of Segments of in the moment kind of like you start there Yes, and then you learn happiness in the self Yes, and what is that itself? Ah happiness itself. Oh my goodness Happiness in self. Well, see what is self and happiness is self in self is Basically two parts because we have this body. We have a fabulous body that we are here You know our body is our best friend. I mean it goes everywhere with us It's with us from birth until death It's with us through thick and thin I mean it does all these amazing things with us for us without us even asking So yeah, so that's a really important part of us is our body. So we have our body And we have our our self or our spirit our essence our personality that lives in the body So happiness in self is basically There's two subcategories. It's happiness in your body In other words loving your body Unconditionally loving your body And when you think of your body thinking feeling joy and gratitude And then with yourself, it's just happiness in yourself. So when you think of yourself You just think wow, I am enough. I'm amazing. I'm special So it's really just transforming Happiness and self is about transforming that relationship you have with your body And yourself into one of unconditional Love and just gratefulness and or and I am enough and I am amazing Yeah, I love I love happiness and self and then of course that makes sense to then happiness and relationship because yes Oh my goodness. You have to have the foundation of happiness within yourself before you can You can be happy in a relationship in a sustainable way precisely and also the other thing is By going through happiness in self and that the orders are very There's a you know, as you're saying to see the the reason Once you build up happiness in self Which builds up your self-esteem your self-confidence By the time you get to happiness in relationships Certain people are going to be really attracted to you certain people aren't But you're going to be more selective about who you hang out with Because let's face it. Georgia. There are some uh, let's say Not nice people or toxic people or and then you you just realize that wow, it's just not they're not good for me and you don't Hang out with those people anymore. You become a lot more Selective because you are aware of what it's doing to to to you your body chemically You know people can chemically make you sick, you know, once you understand all these things so it just changes the dynamics and And when I say relationships, it's not just Relationships with like you're in a circle. It's the relationship you have with people you Interact with every day people. I have a lady. I buy fish from on the side of the road And we have she doesn't speak a word of English and I'm trying to learn some Bahasa But you know, we have a laughing joking Relationship I talk to everybody. I've got a friend who's just come to live here recently Um Sandra and she came back the other day and she said oh tesla. I went walked into town Village and she said I found myself talking to everybody like you do She said I never used to do that, but it's so much fun You kind of like because you've been through happiness and self and happiness at the moment You kind of get over yourself, you know And you just start to see the wonder and everything and the wonder and everybody and And you just chat to people and they chat back and it's just like amazing. Yeah, that's that's sounds like Sounds like heaven, you know So so how can people work with you people are watching this or like wow Um, what is it that you can offer to somebody watching this kind of um? Yeah, what do you what do you have? Take the next step. Yep. Absolutely. Well in january of next year. I'm going to be running a mini Clear it's january 2020. Yeah. Oh, yes. Oh, yeah, sorry january 2020 in fact about three times a year I do I run a mini class series on the essential life skill of happiness So you can be happier healthier less stressed and live longer So yeah, that's about three times a year next one is in january 2020 so the best way to be notified of that is to Uh, get on my email list, but what I suggest you do though is download my Yes to happiness roadmap, which basically gives you a high level roadmap for happiness and That way we'll you'll have the roadmap plus we'll get connected. So the way to get that roadmap is to go to Yes to happiness roadmap dot com So yes to happiness roadmap dot com great get that roadmap and that way we it's got all my contact info And there as well that way we'll we'll we won't stay connected Sounds great. Yeah, I'll put the link in the notes of the video, but yes to to yes to happiness roadmap dot com Precisely. Thank you. Thank you tessa for your work and for Being an embodiment of what you talk about Yeah, oh no, it's makes me very happy Yeah Yes, I hope this video brings happiness to others as well. Thank you. Thanks for thanks for inviting me. Yeah. Thanks for being here All right. Talk to you soon. Okay