 It's so cool when people that are that called you to do a thing you love and the people that are reading with you You love it's like a it's a love fest This is my comfort scarf So oftentimes I wear it even if it doesn't match Because I don't care I'm past the point where I care about that So yeah, I wanted to let you know that I feel comfortable And it's also helping me feel comfortable Thank you so much all of you for your words Again, I think you can see This was curated because they're not the same And they all have so much to say and I am Deeply moved and I'm trying to pull it together and stall so that I can do my thing I would like to take a moment of silence For all the people that we've lost That could be anyone for you And I like to take a moment to honor those people and also bring in my ancestors and yours Thank you So my style of reading I just pushed through So you don't you don't don't feel like you have to clap between poems if you want to I'm not gonna be like But I just I just pushed through You ready a poem for when you were with your co-workers at the diversity meeting and instead of them talking to you about it later They want to tell you about Marie Kondo or No shade Marie Kondo, but I wanted to talk about the diversity meeting quote Marie Kondo says But when we really delve into the reasons for why we can't let something go There are only two an attachment to the past or a fear for the future My co-workers say this with big smiles. I Want to let systemic racism go? But I'm attached to the past of it and Lord knows what it happens when it happens to the tangled ropes It knots in my future and I am left there hanging and then Marie Kondo tells them to tell Me I can do it Marie Kondo says this so pretty and reserved and I'm jealous because Marie Kondo even has a daughter who likes to fold laundry My co-workers remind me I suck at this there is still no talk of the diversity training I want to ask if I should fold fiery and dirty laundry too if shoving a shoulder in on Both sides is a gesture of letting things go I want to put all the systems of oppression in one pile All the internalism class all the internalized Classism in another pile I Want to put the patriarchy pile into two piles because there are lights and there are darks and I'm forced to sift through them evenly Marie Kondo tells them and they tell me visible mess helps distract us from the true source of the disorder I Want to declutter the womb I Want to declutter wombs who thought they belong to someone else who thought they belong to themselves I want to declutter wombs and send them on bent hangers and old gloves I want to send them away. They are still not talking about the diversity training Marie Kondo tells them to tell me tidy by category not by place To which I respond Portland 58.1 percent Washington DC 51.9 percent Minneapolis 50.6 percent Seattle 50 percent Atlanta 46.2 percent Virginia Beach 46.2 percent Denver 42.1 percent Austin 39.7 percent Is there a pile for gentrification? I want to gather up the bricks and the pods from the gentrified well and tell Marie Kondo This is what I want to let go Maybe she will tell them to tell me yes I can help you wash your life and create white space again eulogy for the black woman or I don't want to think about dying or eulogy or dying or Every day people are dying or I'm worried if I'm gonna die or die die die or I have to remember I'm living one The black woman was a bad ass bitch with titties so ancient each one fed a million mouths and those mouths fell Fell and filled and fell and filled and fell and fall and fall. I'm falling. I'm falling. I'm trying to remember I'm living eulogy for the black woman. She was a bad ass. She is a bad ass. She was a bad ass I'm trying to remember. I'm living. There's people dying eulogy for the black woman one She was a bad ass. She was a bad ass. She was a bad ass. She was a bad ass She was a bad ass eulogy for the black woman. I'm dying. No, I'm alive. Am I living eulogy for the black woman one She was a badass bitch with titties so ancient each one fed a million mouths and some mouths mouth off to her. Mother of a thread full of mercies and she blankets it the cold cold world like a sun with a sweating pussy. Insert crying here. Insert news reports here. Insert your one black friend who is not dying here. Two, she was the mother to many and an altar full of drowned babies and she was not always motherly to not because she couldn't but sometimes she didn't want to have no babies. Insert crying here. Insert your one black friend here. Insert, insert, insert. I am dying. I am alive. People are dying. You're looking for the black woman. You're looking for the black woman. You're looking for the black woman. I am alive. I am dying. They are dying. They're a treasured. Your women dying. It's dying. It's dying. It's dying. It's dying. Three, the black woman had hips and lips small small big and large all sizes and an ass so deep couldn't nobody put up with her shit and sometimes they did though she was a fertilizer to many. Three, now right now yesterday tomorrow laying curled up in a yarn ball with plats and shea butter and greasy knees praying to Nina or Anita or Audrey or Octavia or Lilith or trying to get a Luther Luther Luther Luther Luther Luther Luther Luther fix I am trying to remember this is a eulogy for a dead black woman I am alive am I alive people are dying I am trying to live I am trying to live eulogy for the black woman five the black woman was well disrespected by all and no matter what she was most known and appreciated for pushing herself beyond limits any human being should ever have to push themselves through people will say we love the way she kept it pushing oh the black woman is so strong do you see how she's slaying it she gives me life insert gospel song here insert stereotype here insert the icons you do not call or contact here I am living I am living I do not want to write a poem about the eulogy for the black woman insert blank here no everybody say it with me no keep it going no oh thank you no urge to talk about race and race relations and I think that's great and all I can hold in my mouth today is this frosting on a gluten-free cupcake or phd-esque but it's all I can muster with the vulnerability of myself spread around like hummus on a whole food cracker no the women are wearing pricey clothing and expensive jewelry and they are slaying it with the power of their education and my white colleagues are saying yes yes you are speaking all the right language I want to be your ally but we never say hello in the elevator and all I can think of is no no and this will not put me on the best publications or land me a book deal with the best bookseller or get me circulated as the most educated black woman on the scene but my lineage is a worker bees haven for desiccated wombs and deaf vitricles which swarm and all I can revolution up is I'm never gonna get to retire this poem so I'm not gonna try but I do hope the main character slash real person that I do love maybe she's gonna see this poem on YouTube and call me and we can like have an experiment in a cafe and see what happens while Lulu lemon sweaters dangle like static in hair or flaccid dicks or participles while they don't and cool over Michelle Obama must have said a million times Michelle Obama is so strong and classy and strong and classy and strong and witty and well dressed never look my way never say hi never say hello never say good morning never say pass the sugar only talk in my space about Michelle Obama then say what if Michelle Obama were to go shopping with us talk about Michelle Obama like they on a first-name basis with her like Michelle Obama gonna come right on over say what if Obama walked down our street in a hoodie what must it be like to raise black kids in this America Michelle Obama is strong it's in the afternoon never even say good afternoon to me never even look my way never even say pass the sugar or go to hell and I start to think maybe I'm not classy or strong maybe I'm not witty or well dressed maybe I'm not raising kids in this here black America maybe I'm not maybe I'm not maybe I'm not maybe I'm not never even say good evening to me never even say pass the sugar never even look my way so classy and strong so classy and strong did you see what she was wearing and I'm not jealous of Michelle Obama or Oprah Winfrey I've just come to realize I'm an everyday nigga I've come to realize I will never hang on their walls with the yellow they will never see how classy and strong and witty and well-dressed or raising black kids I am in this here