 Thanks for staying with us. When searching for a way to perfectly define selfishness, I stumbled on three different definitions. One, concern excessively or exclusively with oneself. Two, seeking or concentrating on one's own advantage, pleasure or well-being without regard for others. And three, arising from concern with one's own welfare advantage in the disregard of others. So, is it productive or problematic? Now, what is particularly interesting about these terms is that they are not mutually exclusive. While this is very simple to declare selfishness as wrong, because it's immoral and unkind, it's a bit harder to declare it as unproductive. So, can selfishness be productive and problematic? Or must it be one or the other? Remember, you can join the conversation, send us an SMS or WhatsApp to 081-80384663 and follow us on all our social media platforms. So, can selfishness be productive and problematic? Or does it have to be one or the other? I think this is a very controversial topic. Many people have many opinions on this, but I think it's one or the other. One or the other? Yeah. Why do you say so? Sometimes it can be productive, sometimes it can be problematic. I don't think it can be the same at the same time. Really? I don't think you can have both at the same time. So, what about an instance where you are doing something that is protecting your own peace, and that might be controversial amongst other people, but then it is taking people productive because it's aiding your own growth personally. So, it's helping you grow, it's helping you achieve more for yourself, but then it's disregarding other people. If you get what I mean. That's true. I think that falls under the category of neutral selfishness. So, neutral selfishness is more or less like known as just like common sense. Okay, elaborate. So, it's obviously not hurting anyone in, like it's not directly hurting anyone, and it's benefiting you. And I feel like doing something that will age you for like, it's not directly harming anyone, but people might have opinions on it. It's like neutral, it's not really bad. It's quite productive. I think yeah, I feel like it falls under the category of productivity. So, are you guys saying that it can't be productive and problematic? I think selfishness is more productive than problematic, but it's like it can be problematic as well. Okay, so I think now we need to like go into your definition of selfishness in itself, because do you just think that putting yourself first is selfishness, or to fully define selfishness, do you think that you have to disregard other people or bring other people down to be selfish? The latter. I feel like selfishness is when you act without considering other people's feelings. Okay, so I feel like that definition definitely gives us some guidance. This is what you think. Selfishness can be both productive and problematic at the same time, because for example, let's say, let's say it's the night before an exam, a big exam, and you're in the middle of studying, and then a close friend comes to you and is like, oh, please come and explain this concept to me. You're trying to think about how you're going to organize your own time to study for yourself, and you want to prioritize yourself in that way, whether your friend is asking you for help, and by turning them down, you're like going to like negatively impact them. So in that way, that might be deemed as problematic to other people, whether you're putting yourself first, you're prioritizing your own needs, and that is also productive for you. So it really just varies on the situation. I think it can be both at the same time. 100%. Okay, so I'm going to ask a question that might stir the pot a bit. Let's look at it in terms of picking your own career choice. So for instance, your parents pay your school fees, right? They put you through school, and then you get to your plant universities now, and then you're like, okay, this whole time I said I wanted to study medicine, but then now I've suddenly realized that I'm an arts kid, you know, I want to do media and production, you know? And then your parents are like, no, I put all this money down, and you're going to do medicine because it ensures your success, and you're going to be able to, you know, you basically owe us that. So would it be selfish for you to put your own passion on your own dreams ahead of what your parents want for you, or would it just be you putting yourself first? I think it depends on your intentions, really. I think it's productive. I don't think that it's selfish for you to pursue what you want to pursue, like disregarding your parents' feelings, because like your career is yours. Yeah, but then they paid money now. Yeah, they paid to school. Yeah, I understand they paid money and stuff, but then it depends like if you're going into like a career that they don't believe will make you a lot of money. It depends on what you're going into that career to do, because you can't go into that career to like completely take over the whole business and even make more money than the career they wanted you to go into before. Yeah, I feel like it depends on your points of view, because from your parents' point of view, that's selfishness. Yeah, because med school is a lot. It's a lot of money. So it would be selfish to put like, when you look at it like it's your life, and then it's either has to write the exams, it either has to study, it either has to do this profession when you don't have a passion. Yeah, and it's your life, but then would you have been able to get to that informed position where you could even take charge and decide what you wanted to do, if you weren't given these opportunities by your parents in the first place? So for instance, I would say I want to do law like all through secondary school, my parents put me through secondary school, sent me to A-levels, I get to uni and I say that, oh yeah, I'm going to study law and they spent all of that money, but then because my parents have given me a lot of exposure and I've been exposed to a lot of different things, I realize that I'm actually more interested in, let's say social media management, right? And they don't believe in that, but then would I have even been able to come to that conclusion if I didn't get the exposure that they gave me? Do you get what I mean? Okay, so yeah, that could be selfish now that I think about it. It could be selfish, but is it wrong for you to put yourself first in that situation? Yeah, I don't think it's wrong because it's your life. It is your life. I mean, it would be hurting your parents and stuff, but you could just have a nice little conversation. This is what you think. Okay, so I think my opinion might be a little bit controversial, but then I feel like it's not selfish because if you think about it, this isn't just, it's not just that going to say, oh, just go to med school for eight, 10 years. You go to med school, you do all the exams, then you'll be a doctor for the rest of your life. So it's not even as if you're just letting them have this one thing. You're literally devoting your future to something that you have zero passion in, and if that's something that you do and you're going to be miserable for the rest of your life, just because your parents invested in you while you were growing up, because I do think that that's a parent's job. That job is to invest and support that child. So you then owe them your whole career and adult's life, solely because they invested in your childhood and your education. I think they should support you, they should give you guidance and you should reason with them and listen to their guidance and their perspective, because obviously they'll have a more mature perspective and definitely from a financial view as well. But I think that at the end of the day, let's say you go to university at 18, so from 18 on to death, you're going to do something that you don't enjoy simply because from the age of zero to 18, your parents were taking care of you. I don't think that's like the same. Okay, but to add something, it really depends because if it was you that was telling your parents that this is what I want to study and can you please help me pay for this because this is what I'm going to study and you're the ones like telling them this is what you want to do and then later on after they've paid for all of this, you're now changing what you want to do saying that oh no and I think I have an interest in this, that becomes selfish but they're the ones imposing his career on you from the start and paying for the things like you don't want to do in the first place, but then you now find he's standing your ground and saying I want to do this. Okay, but then after you now stand your ground and you say I want to do this and you say I want to go to film school, who will now pay for that film school? They will still pay. They will still pay. Yeah, okay. Okay, so they'll send you to your school. That's what they wanted you to do. They wanted you to be a doctor. You said I don't want to be a doctor anymore. I found my dream and then they'll pay for you to go into what you want. Yeah. Now that isn't necessarily negative, but would you call it selfish? Did you say that it's not selfish? Do you think it's selfish you guys? I think it's not. I don't think it's selfish. You don't think it's selfish? I don't think so. I mean in some of the spending money parts then they're selfish. But then in terms of putting yourself first, then I feel like it's your life at the end of the day. You need to stand your dream. You need to stand your ground. Okay. It's fully your passion. I mean I understand that. Okay. So we actually have a comment. So it says, oh wait, I'm so sorry. I cannot see this right now. Let's get back to the conversation. So I completely understand what we mean in that case. But I guess this has just introduced us to the ways in which selfishness could be mistaken for putting yourself first. Yeah. Right. So I guess putting yourself first might be what we're calling positive selfishness. So in the sense where we're like, oh, positive selfishness is where we are taking some time for ourselves just at the disadvantage of other people. Maybe the disadvantage isn't as prominent as we think. Maybe it's just like a very minor, you know, it's not really affecting them very badly. For instance, in this example that we gave about parents, they might not necessarily be disadvantaged, but you might get them disappointed and they might feel like they wasted the money. But as you guys have explained, that might just be an investment into a different course where you would thrive more. You'd be more successful and you would make them before more proud. What do you guys think? Yeah, I'm just not agreeing on you. This? Yes, I agree with that. I agree. Yeah. I think parents should like, I think the job is to support that child and guide that child. So I think in that respect that they can definitely give down opinion and their advice. But then I think ultimately it's left to the child to make down decision and speak for themselves rather than like doom themselves to a life of misery. Okay. Thank you, Ziz. So we have a comment now, says you ladies have definitely made me laugh today. We're really glad. I think selfishness can be productive at times. If you are selfish with your time because you have bigger responsibilities, then the recipient of the selfishness might be able to hurt but only you will be able to justify it. I think I agree with that. I mean, the recipient of the selfishness might be able to hurt. I think it's very like, this is very much like what Isne was talking about, like with the studying thing, where am I hurt? But then sometimes you just need to put yourself first. I think this isn't that my mom used to say, where it's like, you shouldn't just always be available, but sometimes you should be able to set boundaries. Like, so for instance, if you have like your daily schedule, let's say you're generally just a very disorganized person sometimes. And then, you know, one day you wake up and you're like, I'm going to have, I'm going to romanticize my life. You know, I'm going to draw up my schedule. I'm going to have a picnic today. I'm going to study today. I'm going to read a book. And then you just get a call from one of your friends that's like, Oh, let's go out today. And you'll just, and because this friend called you now, you're just going to completely disrespect your schedule, disrespect the time that you put in there and let them disrespect your time. And then you, that same person, sometimes you could call that same friend on another day, could we go out and they'd be like, I'm so sorry, but I have something I'm doing now. So I think selfishness is, it can also be a way in which you're protecting your peace and allowing other people to respect certain aspects of your livelihood. Or what do you guys think about that? Yeah, I agree. Okay, so that was a really insightful comment. And I think it goes hand in hand with everything that we've been speaking about today. But let's talk about the negative aspect of selfishness because I don't want anybody's comments to start saying that, listen, everybody has started saying, let's be selfish and say, I'm protecting my peace. No, there's this negative aspect of selfishness as well. But yeah, I think we have another comment now. Okay, parents are co-pilots and should only guide when it comes to career choice. The finance part in my opinion is the parents responsibility. What do you guys think about that? Okay, that's a very refreshing perspective. I hope this is how all parents think about it. We are parents are co-pilots like that term. We're all working together. Even in terms of this whole university, selecting universities and everything, we should all make this decision hand in hand. So I guess it's not selfish to take control of your life, to take control of your future. And I think the key word in this comment that we got was to guide, not to impose. Yeah, because some parents may feel they need that, oh, I brought you I'm experienced, they always, I feel like... I've been a teenager before. Yeah, I've been a teenager, but it's time to impose. But the key word here is guide. Guide, yeah. I mean, obviously this is not us disregarding the experience of parents in any way or form. We do understand, we have so much to learn from our adults. Is Zine, are you still there? Yes, I am. Do you have anything to say? I agree with that comment about the co-pilot. I think that's a very nice term to use. And I think it perfectly encapsulates the whole concept of being a parent and the function which is to guide and then use your own experience to help further mold a human being. Yeah, 100%. I think it's very easy sometimes to try and live vicariously through your child. But as a parent, you're there to guide, protect, advise, be there, and to love, you know? So yeah, I really love this perspective. It's very refreshing. I hope that all parents are thinking this way, very healthy. No, honestly. I know that I'm applying to universities now and my dad is like, he's such a girl dad. First of all, he's like, he's such a girl dad because it's three girls and then my little brother, he's like five? Yeah, oh my god. Ignore the like, that wasn't a question, he's five. So we're a bunch of girls and like my dad is really focused on raising ambitious, you know, responsible, powerful young ladies. And so he's really invested in our futures. And then like this whole time I had been thinking that I don't want to disappoint my dad. I need to do everything he says, everything, everything. And then we just like recently had this conversation that actually did end up with me like shedding a few tears. And it was just him giving this same refreshing for interview where he said that parents are just co-pilots and they truly just want the best of you. So sometimes the pressure might be there without it's even being explicitly said, like taking control of the future. Sometimes you might feel like you owe it to your parents to do this, but they might not even have said that before and they most likely do not even think that. So they're there for us no matter what. Every teenager watching this, don't do something you don't want to do. They just, your parents just want to see you thrive. They just want to see you shine. What do you guys think about the summer? Yeah, we have the same parents. We do have the same parents. Yeah, about the feeling like you owe it to them. It has been quite important to me as well. Throughout the whole school. I feel like the whole beginning time of school, every time I wrote an exam or something, instead of knowing that I'm writing the exam for myself or to pass, I'm thinking, oh, I owe it to my parents. I don't want to disappoint them. I feel like when you stop thinking that is when you actually start to thrive because you know that it benefits you and not them. Same exact experience. Same exact experience. I completely agree with what you said. Just this next stage in our lives, just thrive. There's just so much more to learning. If you are just tuned in, we are discussing the art of being selfish, productive or problematic. Please, let's hear what you have to say. Remember, you can join the conversation by sending us an SMS or WhatsApp to 081-803-84663. And because it is a special, the Flour 9 is going to be open all week. So you can call us on 070-25-007749. If you call, please remember to turn down the volume of the device so we don't get any feedback. Back to the discussion. Okay, so there is a comment coming in. So this is Abbey from Lagos. Hi, Abbey. When you put yourself first, being selfish can be beneficial, but it can also be a problem if you rub others of their own happiness equally. It could be problematic. If you decide to be selfish in the face of someone else's genuine need for your assistant, therefore being selfish has advantages and disadvantages. But it is recommended to always be selfless. As a saying goes, happiness is infectious. So if you make others happy by not equally, it could be problematic. It could be problematic if you decide to be selfish in the face of someone else's genuine need for your assistant. Therefore, being selfish has advantages and disadvantages. But it is recommended to always be selfless. As a saying goes, happiness is infectious when you make other people happy by not being selfish. You're also bringing happiness to us. On that note, we also got another comment asking, from your experiences, wait, greeting, beautiful ladies, thank you so much. From your experiences, can our politicians be considered selfish? Do you guys have like, I think it's a yes or no question? What do you guys think? Yes. Yes. I think the answer is yes. Unanimous? I agree. Yes. Our politicians can be considered selfish in very standard ways, to be honest. There's no two way about it. I don't think so. Okay, now since we've already gotten on that note, let's start talking about the negative effects of being selfish. More like, we're just just thinking about this while we're doing our make-up. You said something about crime rates. Yeah, I think I'll say this way. Somebody breaks into your house, they see your PS5, for example, they want it. They take it. Selfishness. That's somebody being selfish over there because you feel so bad. You wake up, you just want to play FIFA and your PS5 is gone. Yeah. I feel like selfishness brings a really big increase in crime rates and it's really bad. It can be very problematic for people. 100 percent. Because one of the many things that lead to an increase in crime, obviously apart from financial circumstances and just everything else, there's also lack of self-control. I think that empathy in itself is a way that you can control your own emotion and your own urges. If I do this, how is someone else going to react? How am I going to negatively impact somebody else? If you're thinking that, then you're going to want that PS5, which is going to be like, no, I don't want to ruin somebody's day because they're going to wake up and say, I want to use my PS5. Oh no, where's my PS5? Yeah. I think that it's also become like really normalized with Gen Z. This is what you think. So I think from what I've been seeing online in terms of Gen Z culture, there seems to be a rise in the sentiment that you don't owe anyone anything and just like this very hyper-individualistic approach towards society and towards ourselves. So people tend to center themselves as the main focus of their lives, which of course is fine. If it's your own life, you should be able to prioritize yourself. But I think it's being taken to an extreme length wherein people are now arguing against basic concepts like being polite because I don't owe anybody anything because, for example, let's say it's like polite or it's like cut seat to leave the door open, hold the door open for someone if they're coming behind you. But so people may now take the individualistic approach and be like, well, I don't owe anyone anything, especially if it's a stranger. And I feel like that's when selfishness can become problematic because it really doesn't cost you much to have a more collective approach. I 100% agree with that. I feel like now selflessness in itself has been associated with weakness. You know, like, oh, I'm going to be pushed over. So I mean, it's like stand my ground and be, you know. When you're too selfless, people will be like, okay, more like, she's so nice. I can just do whatever I want. Exactly. I mean, people need to stop anticipating that, anticipating that people start, you know, being mean to you because you're a decent person, you know. What happened, sir? Yeah, it does. Anyways, I have a comment week. It's actually a question says you guys are doing so well. Congratulations. Thank you. I just have one question. If selfishness is all about putting yourself first, and we cannot spin that to me, we are protecting ourselves in order to protect others by extension, then what even is selflessness? Yeah. That's a good one. I mean, now we have to think of like a standard definition of selflessness. That's why you put other people first before yourself. So now that kind of like flips the table because now selflessness kind of seems kind of negative, because you shouldn't always be putting other people first, right? Yeah, just like being selfish. I feel like selflessness also has negative and positive aspects. It just depends on what's the scenario, the situation. There's no who, selfishness is good, selfishness is bad, selfishness is good, selfishness is bad, just depends on what's going on and how you react. Even with the society that has made like selflessness seem like good and selfishness is bad. Exactly. That's what I said is a controversial topic. You can't really define it. Everything has its negative side, positive side, but I have another comment. Okay, this is actually a bit long. Says, selfishness can be productive and problematic. Sometimes it is negatively about me, me all the time, but it can be productive if it's used in a positive way. For example, you cannot give what you do not have. If you do not love yourself enough, you cannot love someone else. Every true action must begin with oneself. You must value yourself first to value others around you. My career is about me and not about my parents. My parents should guide me in my career path and not detect it for me because it's me who will live it out and not them. One of my friends told me that he married a woman he married for his parents because they wanted her. That's when the time comes, he will marry his own wife. Sanctus. Thank you. This is very insightful and I 100% agree with that. There are so many aspects of our lives that we should have control over that we kind of hope without control on other people all in the act of being a good person. Feeling like, oh, I owe you this at least. I owe you that at least. I don't want you to feel like you've wasted your time and energy on me, but these are things that we should decide ourselves. Okay, another comment. Hello, this is Gloria from Abelkuta and I believe that selfishness is productive or problematic depending on the situation. Taking the example of the exam, selfishness is in fact productive because there's no use in pushing yourself as you disadvantage just for the sake of helping others. However, this does not mean that selfishness is always productive. Selfishness is mainly considered as problematic when in everyday life such as being unwilling to help someone in need if you have the means to do so. I mean, yeah. That's pretty standard, yes. I think it's just we've reached like a glass helpful kind of conclusion. So it's like selfishness and selflessness can both be good or bad in the right amounts, right? But do you think that you should be more selfish or more selfless? I feel like you should definitely be more selfless. I think it depends on the situation. Like there's no standard answer, I have to be more selfless. I have to be more selfish. It depends on what's going on and what you're trying to do at that point in time. Well, I remember I was talking to somebody this one time and they said that because when they put themselves first all the time, sometimes at the disadvantage of others, they kind of feel lighter. They have less problems on their shoulders. Because they're doing things for them and they don't have to care about what other people are thinking or I said I would do this today but I promise this person I'll do that or I have this and I have to give this to this person. Feeling like you don't owe anybody else and you're just living your life for you. It's like it makes your life a lot easier. Yeah, your life would be a lot easier but that person's life would be a whole lot harder. Hey, I feel like we need to redefine selflessness because I think we're pleasing it to watching the negative light and a quote I want to give under selflessness would be my favorite quote by Mohammed Gandhi. The best way to find yourself is to use yourself in the service of other people. So I feel like being selfless doesn't necessarily mean hurting yourself by servicing other people. It doesn't necessarily say that you're hurting yourself. You're just hurting other people first and it sometimes makes you feel really better about yourself as well. So sorry before we go on we have a comment. So hello ladies. This is Fumi from Lagos. Hi Fumi. You're all doing a great job. Thank you very much. I like the way you are highlighting the positives and parasocial relationships. This was the topic from yesterday actually when talking about selflessness being productive. Okay, but I feel like we should still take it. This bottom line kind of applies to this. I'll advise that the Gen Z generation focus on the positives and always remember their own values. That's just something good that you should all remember. Focus on the positives. Remember your values. So what do you think values? What impact do you think values play on whether your selfishness is positive or negative or your selflessness is to your advantage or to your disadvantage? I feel like having values will always put whatever you're doing at your advantage because when you have values you kind of know yourself and kind of the person you're trying to be. So if somebody says you should do something that's outside your values, you know that at least I have a strong will of mind. And at least I know that despite being selfish, selfless, I know who I am. And I feel like that's just the best things I have to have peace of mind. I feel like knowing, speaking from my personal experience, I can say that I'm a selfless person. A lot of times that has been to my disadvantage even Salmanu's. A lot of times that has been to my disadvantage. Sometimes I give out a lot of energy, a lot of time. Even my mom sometimes gets tired, like I have my whole day planned. Like I said before, I have my whole day planned and then one little thing and then my whole, you know, my whole day is messed up. And sometimes I've used this term when I was talking to my sister about it. I said I sometimes I feel like it's that character in my own life. Feeling like you get, you give up so much of your own time, your own personality, just your own life for other people. If you understand what I mean, so you're constantly helping others, you're constantly being there for this person, being there for that person and you have no time to actually be there for yourself. And also, and that's the thing when we talk about selfishness and selflessness, I don't want it to just be like a whole, or giving this person your food, giving this person your pencil case or a pencil at a shop, no, no. It's like, it's giving aspect of yourself. I'm very selfless with my time, as I said before. So then when I, yeah, basically, what do you guys think? I resonate. I feel like I can't be selfish. If I really need, I can't be, but I'm more of a selfish person in terms of if you need me to do something for you, I will do it. I will do whatever I'm doing. I'll send you and I'll come back to see me. And I've really been at those ends of when somebody's being selfish and I'm like, okay, I've been selfless. Doing it too, yeah. It's very disappointing, quite frustrating to be honest. But at the same, I've felt that I still feel like I'm still selfless. I think I'm a very selfish person, but the only circumstance in which I might be selfish is if it actually harms me. So me being selfless, yeah, if someone needs me to do something, and I'm doing something, I would definitely be able to go help someone else. But if this situation calls for me being hurt in any way to save someone else, I would definitely consider myself as well. It really depends on the person because it's when I can't even work then. So are you selfish or selfless? Okay, I think I'm someone that arrives a lot of joy and pleasure from helping people. So for example, in the exam scenario that I gave, that's actually like a scenario that I've encountered like a couple times, even up to the moment where it's like five minutes before the exam and somebody's asking, oh, is there what we meant to study blah, blah, blah, blah. And then sometimes you might think this person is on serious, like they should have studied earlier beforehand. But other times I'm like, I could literally have the power to potentially change this person's grade and then this person's trajectory like in this subject. And so I derive a lot of pleasure from being able to help people and then see them progress in the area that helps them. So that way I would say that I'm selfless, but it obviously comes with the limits. There's a difference between being selfless and being a dormant. And there's a difference between being selfish and then being so self-absorbed and greedy to the point where you're a pain to be around. I 100% agree with that. Just another example from my personal experience. I saw this video because it kind of explained a lot of things I was going through. It was talking about how sometimes you know when you're like the therapist friend and you listen and you devote yourself time and energy to the problems that your friends are going through. And you know sometimes you feel like you can't even what's called again talk to them about it. So all you're doing is really just taking in the negative energy that they're releasing. And I'm not saying that you shouldn't listen to your friends talking, but then you do begin to internalize this. And I've had this conversation with my mom as well. So for instance, let's say one of your friends is going through some kind of trouble. They're just really frustrated that you're the person they always come and vent to. Then you're going to notice that anger, even at their own specific situation that's exclusive to them. That anger might actually reflect on to you and you might just start snapping at the people around you. I don't know if that's happened to you guys before. The opposite of the therapist friend, I'm the one that didn't vent to me. So I really feel Oh, I'm so sorry. We'll continue shortly. We have a caller. Hello? Hello? Hi. Okay. What do you mean? Oh, is this who I think this is? Hey. Hello. Hello. Good evening. Yeah. Good evening. Hello. Okay. Hello. Okay. Yeah, we can hear you. Go on. Okay. I really love the program you guys are doing. So I think sometimes it's good to be selfish, but sometimes it's good to be selfless. And I need to balance the two. Being selfish is not bad. It depends on the way you are being selfish. Sometimes you need to think about yourself first. Think about yourself first. When you're always thinking about people, thinking about people, don't think you're thinking about me, not thinking about you. So sometimes think about it for yourself first. At least, let's say your boundary, think of the things you do for yourself before you think of the things you do for others. As you guys are saying. Yes, we do. So being selfless is not bad to render happiness to people. It's good to render happiness to people. But all together, when you're thinking about people, think about yourself first. That is just it. Thank you so much. Thank you so much. That's very deep. Thank you so much. Thank you. I think that's some of everything we're talking about. Yeah. We each consider yourself as well. So Mariah, can you say something before we go to the phone call? Oh yeah. My me being the venting friend. Yeah. Yeah. And sometimes I just feel like, oh, I'm just being very selfish because everybody goes through their stuff. Yeah. So I was trying to chip in on that. Okay, how about you? What's going on with you? This scenario that you said it, but it's just something that a lot of us really need to put into consideration that what we're doing, what we're seeing, doing that we're venting, it may affect the other person and it may rub off on their lives. 100 percent. So we have a comment in. Okay. So hey ladies, you're all doing a great job dissecting this topic. I would like you all to imagine that 80 percent of humanity is selfish. What would the world look like? Like in everything in life, there has to be a balance. Thank you very much, Elizabeth. Thank you very much. I completely agree. There has to be a good balance. So not more of selfishness, not more of selflessness. Yeah. That's perfect. We seem to have another comment. Okay. Good evening, my beautiful Gen Zs. I have been enjoying your program since you started on Monday. Thank you. Selflessness is good and sweet, but when you have been taking for granted, it's possible that you are selfish once in a while, doing it every time. I have been through this way a lot, but later realized that I was not much productive when I was selfless until I started being selfish no longer good. And the beneficiaries of my selflessness were not finding it funny. The majority of them decided to stay away from me since I decided not to be a Mother Christmas. Not to worry. I am more at peace now than before and has been advising two eyes off. I love your misogyny for my job. Thank you, Mr. Dignity. And I'm so glad that you are at peace and you have stopped being the Mother Christmas. I think yeah, 100 percent. The second you just stop putting yourself first and not taking, not becoming a Dorma since you put it, you're going to feel a lot lighter. And all those people that are not finding it funny, I feel like when you start being selfless, it just brings the light so I really need your true friends. Because if you're a true friend, you really understand that okay, she's been selfless all this time, sometimes selfish to get peace of mind. Yeah. I feel like sometimes you need to learn when to put your ambitions aside to attend to someone else's imagines. And let me give an example. So I have just said Yasmin about this situation before, but I was in a bit of a conflict with one of my cousins because they kept taking my snacks on my room and I was really upset. Like I was really, really upset because that was my favorite snack. And like she just kept stealing it from me. So then I was not speaking to her. She came to me looking very sad. Me thinking she's trying to apologize to me. She comes to me venting about her problems and how she's been feeling very sad. I will start between whether to shout at her, tell her why you call it to tell me. I'm literally angry at you. But then of course she's family. I had to put my ambitions aside and attend to her problems and actually forgetting that she stole all my sky flakes and of course being selfless enough to help her. No yeah, but on that note, can we actually talk about this? Is this selfish when you have done something wrong to somebody and somebody is calling you out in a very calm manner and you just start breaking down and crying and making it seem like they are the villain? I feel this is, I've been in a lot of scenarios where I'll call somebody else and they'll be like oh but so so so so. Like everybody has an excuse for a reason behind everything they do. Exactly. And I understand that I don't see stuff as excuses. I see as okay, this has happened. There's a reason. But at the same time, you need to also acknowledge when you've done something wrong. Exactly. As long as you're my friend, I'll always be there for you and I'll always listen. I'll see what I need to see. I'll tell you stuff. But when you're wrong, see your own. See your own. That is true. And you don't have to be the victim of every situation. Be selfless. Choose peace. That is another point of the day, choose peace. So yeah, I think now we've just seen so many ways in which you could be both selfish and selfless. Yeah. So you, wait, we haven't even, apart from the crime, we haven't looked that deeply into the negative effects of being selfish. We do not want to encourage selfishness. We also need to acknowledge, I guess, differentiating between selfishness and putting yourself first. So sometimes you could be, I don't know, you could just lose the trust of the people around you. For instance, if we have talked about how almost calling it not listening to the friends that have always been there for you can be considered selfish, you need to also take into account how you could be affecting them and the baggage that you're enraging onto them and onto their lifestyles because you could just see somebody that has been smiling every day, somebody that usually seems so happy all of a sudden starts seeming sad and you're like, Oh, what's the problem? But you don't know that you are the problem. It's you that has actually caused it. So it's all about empathy. It all dials down to empathy. I think that's what really draws the line between both. You can be selfish and you can protect your peace and you are 100% allowed to confide in your friends and your family members. But please remember that while you can care about them and see them as your support system, you also need to remember that they're human beings as well. And we interact with each other and we internalize the things that we constantly hear and we absorb each other's energies. You know, bad energy, it passes around. We need to protect our energy. So yeah, Bob, do you guys have any more to say on the topic? Yeah, I think another negative effect of selfishness, it will lead to learners. Because for example, my cousin being selfish in that situation, I'm not coming to the, not realizing that what she did to me was wrong, instead of just dumping on problems on top of like, I feel like if I had been the bad cousin and decided not to help her out, she felt very lonely in that moment. So I feel like that's another negative effect of being selfish. Yeah, and also like selfishness really pushes people away if you think about, because nobody knows if you're around the selfish person. Nobody knows if you're friends with the selfish person. Okay, so we got one more comment. It says, hi BTs, you guys are so smart. Being selfishness, but wait, being selfish, I'm so sorry, being selfish. I'm not going to tear the end of this. Being selfish can make you have trust issues. That's the negative aspect of it. I love you all. We love you too. Thank you. Thank you so much for calling, commenting, and interacting today. And thank you to my lovely co-ankers, Samar, Murlake, and Ezenay. Yeah, this has been a lovely conversation. Remember to like, share, comment, and invite your friends and family to watch us and follow us. If you missed today's quote, here it is again. There's a difference between people who care about themselves and people who only care about themselves. See you again tomorrow at 8pm as we bring another great conversation to your screen. Thank you. Thanks, guys.