 Your coca-cola bottler presents, Claudia. Claudia, based on the famous play and novels by Rose Franken. Brought to you transcribed Monday through Friday by your friendly neighbor who bottles coca-cola. Relax, and while you're listening, refresh yourself. Have a Coke. And now, Claudia. Claudia? Yeah? Just how long are you going to wait before you tell David about that ticket? Isn't a ticket, Mama. It's a summons. It's the same thing. A summons is bigger and better than a ticket, Mama. It's nothing to be proud of. Summons, you have to go to court, Mama. With a ticket, you can go to court, too. Oh, but a summons, you have to. Claudia. Yeah? You aren't by any chance proud you were given the summons yesterday? Well, not exactly, but no, not proud, but not belittled either. Well, stand still while I measure you. I'm standing still. Only my brain is working. Hmm, seems to react all over you. Well, waste is twenty-five. Oh, pretty good. You know, I waited all through dinner last night for you to tell David, but you didn't have the courage. Well, things just, they just weren't right to tell him at dinner last night. This morning you went out like a flash and you can't tell a man anything important when he's in a hurry. You better tell him in a hurry or it's going to be worse when you get around to it. I'm going to tell him tonight after dinner. And by that time he'll know something's fishy. Oh, I know David. He won't mind at all, hardly. That I am waiting to see. A man who doesn't hardly mind at all when his wife tells him she's had his car smashed up and has to go to court because she didn't have the sense to keep her mouth shut. Mama, whose side are you on anyway? You hadn't been so anxious to make that other man look wrong. You could have settled it all right then and there. He was most agreeable and sweet about it. You aren't on my side, are you? And I never said I was. And you should have told David this before. You know, every now and then I have half a mind, not to tell him at all. I would advise you that you use your whole mind. Oh, well, maybe you won't make such a fuss after all. After all, Mama, anybody could have another car bomb into them. I didn't do anything. Oh, no. Except make a U-turn where there was a sign that precisely forbade it. I'll bet you anything, Mama. David is sweet about it. I'll bet you he says... Yes, go on. I'll bet you all that David says is, just don't do it again. I'll bet you that's all he says. Well, I wouldn't put money on it. Hmm, neither would I. When are you supposed to go to court? Tomorrow. You know maybe I ought to wash my hair. It is not a party. Perhaps if a girl looks nice in the movies anyway. You know, Mama, the more I think about it, the more I think David is going to be sweet and understanding and darling. Well, you'll find out tonight. Mama, please don't underestimate the man I married. I think you underestimate the man you married. David, I'm so glad you're home. Hey, take it easy, you're choking. Again, I love you. Hey, what's gotten into you? Kiss me and shut up. Wait a minute, don't sit down yet. Why not? Dinner isn't ready yet and I want you to be comfortable, darling. You've got your old tweed coat. I'm perfectly comfortable, thank you. No, you're not comfortable. Here, I'll help you. Hey, what's going on here? Not a thing, I just want you to be comfortable. David, darling, put down your paper a second. What now? Here, your slippers. My feet don't hurt. I know, but they'll be more at home in your slippers. No, no, don't move, I'll put them on for you. Darling, you're treating me like an aged invalid. I just love to wait on you, is that so unusual? Oh, David, come on, I have some more steak. How about some more onions? Come on. Oh, I couldn't eat another thing, I'm stuffed. Oh, yes, you're right. You better save a little space, we're having a divine dessert. I wish you'd told me soon. You know, I tried to decide what you like most. But darling, apple pancakes. That is a surprise. Oh, darling, I'm so glad I planned right. How do you feel? Oh, I feel fine. Oh, here's your pipe. Here's the matches and here's the big ashtray. I'm certainly getting the royal treatment tonight. Night, every night, darling. Are you sure you feel all right? Oh, yes, I feel fine. Oh, how'd you like a fire in the fireplace? No, everything is just perfect. Now, stop fussing. I'm not fussing. Ever since I've been home, you've been hopping around like a canary. I don't need so much attention. You're turning my head. Well, I couldn't spoil you if I tried. Well, I see the little family is gathered around. Hello, Mama, sit down, join us. Make yourself comfortable and stay awhile. Well, no, I just came in to pick up my knitting bag. I'm going upstairs. Now, nonsense. You stay right here with us. Now, don't be so snooty. Well, I'm very fastidious about the people with whom I keep company. Mama, you stay here. Oh, there's that little monster again. I'll be right back, David. Don't go away, Mama. Hey, look, Mama, I'm in a fog. Perhaps you can tell me what's been going on here tonight. Perhaps you can tell me what it's all about. Well, what on earth do you mean, David? Such a business. Ever since I came home, I feel like the Prince of Wales being born. My tweed coat, my slippers, fancy dinner, wonderful dinner, too. My pipe, matches. Have I forgotten something, Mother? No, I don't think so. Is it her birthday? No, no, no. It isn't her birthday. Was the baby born today? Oh, you know perfectly well. He's a July baby. This isn't an anniversary, is it? Come on, come on. Help me out, Mrs. Brown. Tell me, what is going on? You're a very suspicious young man. I'm not deaf, dumb and blind, or a moron either. When Claudia starts behaving like a saint and a nurse and a wicked woman all in one, there's something afoot. I only wish I knew what it was. Mama, how long do babies go on being wet? As long as they're babies. I'm afraid it's forever. Well, that wasn't as nice. I'm going to sit down here and be very quiet so David can read. Well, David doesn't feel like reading. He doesn't? No. David feels like talking. Well, it's a rare occasion, isn't it? Make the most of it, Claudia. Now, what will we talk about? Claudia? Yeah? Are you absolutely positive that you don't have some little thing you want to talk about? Who, me? Yeah, you. No, not especially. You're sure? Now, let me see. What would be interesting to talk about? David. What? If you hadn't been an architect, would you have liked being a lawyer? That's a nice, stevious approach. What was that, Mother? I didn't say anything. Mama, be quiet. Well, would you? Would you like to be a lawyer? Not especially. I would like to be a doctor for a while, but not a lawyer, especially. I think I'd have liked being a lawyer. I think it would be fun going to court. I see now. Don't you, David? Nothing exciting about going to court. For lawyers? For anybody. I've never been to court, of course, except to get married. That was different. That was fun. Still, I think it would be exciting to be in court. Cross-examined and swearing the oath that you do in court. No, actually, it's a very dull business. Well, if you have a summons, you have to have to go to court, don't you? I mean, there's no way to get out of it. No, no way. Who has a summons? Anybody we know? David, I don't jump to conclusions. We're only talking. Of course, I think men are much better in court than women would be. I think you'd be wonderful in court, David. I think you could get the judge bamboozled and you could get the other man whose car ran into you all mixed up. Oh, I'd love to see you in court. You'd be wonderful. I sincerely trust that you're not soon going to have the opportunity to see me in court. Something else, David? I don't know. When a man and woman are husband and wife and are married, all that married, too. I'm not married, too. I think I'm going to bed. When they're married, it's the same thing if a man talks as when his wife talks. Isn't it? Claudia, just what are you trying to tell me? David, do you love me? I'm not sure. I don't like red herrings. You tell me what you're trying to tell me. Well, how do you know I'm trying to tell you anything? Because ever since I came into the house tonight you treated me as if you had something to tell me. Nothing to shout about. I'm not shouting. I think it probably is something to shout about anyway. So come on, Claudia. Out with it now. Well, I have a little something for you. I don't like to bother you about it, David. I know. Well, here it is. A piece of paper. It's tiny. A piece of paper. Claudia, this little something is a summons. This little tiny piece of paper. I know, David. That's why I gave it to you. I don't know anything about summons and you know about everything. Claudia, what did you do? I didn't do anything. I was standing still and he ran into me. I can well imagine. He couldn't crumple my fender and then he tried to blame it all on me. He had a nerve. Yesterday morning you crumpled your fender. Your fender? Who? Where? That place you told me not to make a U-turn, David. That's where. He backed right up into me, David. But it isn't very serious. I had the fender fixed. You never even noticed it this morning when you drove it. Did you make a U-turn? It was perfectly all right, David. You were in the moustache. Honestly, the way some people drive. And you got the summons. Well, because he wasn't willing to pay the damage. Oh, I see. Well, then I knew you'd think I'd done something wrong. I certainly would. I wasn't going to let him get away with it. And the policeman gave me a summons, but I was in the right, David. You were in the right? Yes. You were making a U-turn where I specifically told you it was not allowed. The moustache take the blame. You are outrageous. David, you're shouting. You bet I'm shouting. I have to stay up in Eastbrook tomorrow. Waste a whole day out of the office to get you out of this mess, and you accuse me of shouting. That's the trouble with men? What is the trouble with men? They're so undependable. Oh, David, I may never forgive you for this. Never. Well, I'll be called Dan. You're aware almost subconsciously when it's time for a favorite radio program. Turn the subconscious time meter on a little in advance tomorrow and step over to the refrigerator before you turn on the dial. Get yourself a bottle of Coke. Then you're all set to listen refreshed. That's just one of the many times when the pause that refreshes with ice-cold Coca-Cola proves mighty welcome. Every day, Monday through Friday, Claudia comes to you transcribed with the best wishes of your friendly neighbor who bottles Coca-Cola. So listen again tomorrow at the same time. And now this is joking, saying, au revoir. And remember, whoever you are, whatever you do, wherever you may be, when you think of refreshment, think of Coca-Cola. Or Coca-Cola makes any pause the pause that refreshes. And ice-cold Coca-Cola is everywhere.