 The Jack Benny program transcribed and presented by Lucky Strike. You know, friends, nothing. No, nothing beats better taste, and remember... Lucky tastes better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. Lucky tastes better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. For Lucky's like meat, I'm tobacco. Richard's tasting, I'm tobacco. Lucky tastes better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. Lucky's like, Lucky's like. Taste makes the big difference in your smoking enjoyment because nothing. No, nothing beats better taste. And Lucky's taste better. Yes, Lucky's do taste better. Cleaner and fresher and smoother. And here's why. First of all, every Lucky is made of fine tobacco that's light and mild. Naturally, it's good tasting tobacco. Then too, Lucky's are made better to taste better, so that every puff will give you the full enjoyment of that fine tobacco. So friends, get the better taste and the greater smoking enjoyment of fine tobacco in the better-made cigarette. Be happy. Go Lucky. Make your next carton Lucky Strike. Lucky tastes better. Cleaner, fresher, smoother. Lucky's like, Lucky's like. The Lucky Strike program starring Jack Benny with Mary Livingston, Rochester, Dennis Day, Bob Crosby, and yours truly, Donald. As you know, ladies and gentlemen, the new administration is carrying on a big change in Washington. But this is Hollywood. So now I give you a man who never carries any change, Jack Benny. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Well, all again, this is Jack Benny talking and Don, I'll never understand how such a little joke could come out of such a big, fat body. Well, I thought it was rather clever. Oh, you did. Well, Don, I haven't got time to argue about that because tonight we have a very important play on our show. We're going to do our version of that great Stanley Kramer film, High Noon. Well, Jack, we already did High Noon this season. I know, Don, but I've had so many requests to do it over again, we just have to repeat it. No kidding. That's right, in fact, I got one beautiful letter begging me to do it over word for word. Really? Who's it from? My writers. They're tired of working. I can't understand that, Jack. You've got four writers in the season just half over. Why should they be so tired? Well, they're very, very busy, Don. See, they write my show at night and during the day, two of them teach English, you know. Who are they teaching? The other two. Anyway, Don, as soon as everybody gets here, we're going to do High Noon. Say, Jack, what is it, Bob? What? Well, this High Noon that you're repeating, isn't that a United Artist picture? Yes, what about it? Well, nothing, only I thought your grudge was against Warner Brothers. Bob, I know my writers are tired of working. I didn't think you were. Oh, Jack. Hello, everybody. Am I late? No, no, Mary, we're just getting started. Well, I stopped off at the furrier to look at some stoles, and I had lost all track of time. Stoles? Mary, I gave you a first stole for Christmas. I know. Well, where is it? Hanging for my radiator cap. Oh, say, Mary, did you know that tonight we're doing a repeat of our play High Noon? We are? That's right, Mary, and I've invited a man who produced it, Stanley Kramer, to be here tonight. Jack, Stanley Kramer's a very important producer. Do you know him? Well, not personally, my agent arranged the whole thing. He'll be over after a while. Jack, I don't know if the background music will be the same as last time. Why not? You've got the same arrangement. Yeah, I know, but last week we added the pickle... You say... You say you added a... a piccolo player to your band? That's right, and the fellas in the band are just wild about this, boy. He's what they call a musician's musician. Well, what makes him so good? Besides playing the piccolo, he owns a liquor store. A liquor store? Yeah, you ought to see the size of the case he carries that piccolo in. Well, anyway, as far as the music is concerned, do the best you can. Hello, everybody. Hello, Mary. Give me a kiss. Why'd you kiss me? Yes, Dennis. What's the matter with you? Oh, it's a bet I got with my girl. A bet? Yeah, I bet I could kiss every woman I saw today, and I wouldn't get one slap in the face. Well, that's certainly an interesting bet. How are you doing? Three husbands punch me silly. I thought so. One old man beat me with a cane. Now, Dennis, I have a feeling... Can I go home now? No, you can't. Dennis, we're doing high noon, and I want you to be on your best behavior because Stanley Kramer is going to watch us. Boy, am I anxious to meet him. What a tennis player. That's Jack Kramer. Well, goodness sake, Dennis. Don't you know anything? Oh, take it easy, Jack. What are you so excited about? I can't help it, Mary. He's such a stupid kid. How can anyone not know Stanley Kramer, the man who produced pictures like The Champion, Home of the Brave, My Six Convicts, Member of the Wedding, The Happy Time? There isn't one other person in our whole business who doesn't know Stanley Kramer. I beg your pardon, but I... Look, mister, I don't know what you want, but I have to wait. I'm trying to do a show here. I'm expecting one of the biggest producers in Hollywood, and you come in here and bother me. Who are you anyway? Stanley Kramer. Oh. Wait a minute. You... You're Stanley Kramer? Yes? He produced The Champion, The Home of the Brave, My Six Convicts. I know what he's got. That, uh, Mr. Kramer, Mr. Kramer, you know, for such a big producer, I was expecting a man more my age, you know? I mean, you seem so much younger. How old are you? I'm 39. Gee, I was sure you'd be younger. But what's the difference? You're here, and I'm happy you can make it. Well, thanks, Jack. And frankly, I'm curious to see how you managed to transfer high noon to radio. You know, in preparing this subject for the screen, we were faced with the problem of presenting the complexities of a man fighting his own emotions. I know, Mr. Kramer, and you even employed a musical theme to crystallize the inner conflict of a man possessed of fierce pride and deep sense of duty coping with the dilemma of a newfound love. Well, that's true. Our hero was temporarily disoriented by a set of circumstances that juxtaposed turbulent pathological fear against the inherent urgings of an almost puritanical conscience. Well, I... Oh, shut up! I only wanted to say that I thought it was a wonderful picture. And you know, Mr. Kramer, in our radio version, I play the part of Gary Cooper. You do? Of course, I've added little touches of my own. By the way, Mr. Kramer, just occurred to me that we might be able to get together on one of your future pictures. Well, thanks, Jack, but I've got all the financing I need. Well, I mean acting. Well, I'd like to use you, Jack, but you see, even though I've gotten away from it a few times, my policy has been to star unknowns. Well, star Jack, he'll make you an unknown overnight. Mary, for that remark... Oh, Jack, it's getting late. We'd better start our sketch. Okay. Oh, just sit down, Mr. Kramer, and I'm sure you will enjoy it. Thanks. You're welcome. Okay, Don. High noon. Take it. Ladies and gentlemen, for our feature attraction of the evening, we're going to present our version of that epic of the West, the Stanley Kramer production of High Noon. The time is the year 1875, the place, the little town of Hadleyville. The scene is in the office of the Justice of the Peace. I'm the town marshal, and my name is Gary Kane. This is my wedding day. Yep, right at this moment, I'm getting married to my sweetheart, Amy. Do not forsake me, oh, my darling From this arm wedding Do not forsake me, oh, my darling Do you, Amy, take this man, Gary, to be your lawful wedded husband? I do. Do you, Gary, take Amy for your lawful wedded wife? Yep. Now, repeat after me, Amy. Our Amy takes the Gary to love, honor, and cherish. Our Amy takes the Gary to love, honor, and cherish. Now, you, Gary, our Gary takes the Amy to love, honor, and cherish. Our Gary takes the Amy to love, honor, and cherish. And with all my worldly goods are thee endowed. And with... Come on, repeat it. And with all my worldly goods are thee endowed. Our Gary takes the Amy to love, honor, and cherish. Yes, I even had to buy the ring. I now pronounce you man and wife. Gary, my husband. Amy, my bride. Kiss me. It's customary for the justice of the peace to get the first kiss. Stand aside, Amy. The man wants to kiss me. I mean... Come on, Mary. Amy. Mary is playing the part of Amy. Let's get going on a honeymoon. Gee, Gary, I'm so glad you're going to give up your job as Marshal and put those awful guns away. Yes, Amy. Now we can have a peaceful life. Marshal! Marshal! Yeah, what's up? Terrible news. Frank Miller's been released from jail. No. Yeah, and he's arriving in town at high noon. High noon? There's high noon, and three of his hatchmen are waiting at the railroad station to beat him. Where are my guns? And I better swear in some deputies. I got to get Frank Miller before he gets me. Gary, tell me, what's this all about? Amy, five years ago I arrested Frank Miller and sent him to jail. He vowed he'd kill me when he got out. So I got to get him first. But, Gary, you may be killed. I don't want to become a widow on my wedding day. I want to go on a honeymoon. Look, Amy, I can't run away. You wouldn't want to be married to a coward, would you? Well, I'd do anything to get out of the May Company. It was then I realized that Amy's spell sideways was made. But I had my duty to perform even if it meant losing Amy. I went outside. I walked the hot, dusty, deserted streets. Looking in vain for men to serve as deputies. Oh, the beat torn, twist, love and duties. Oh, and I lose my fair-haired beauty. Look at that big hand move along near and high news. He made a bow while in space prison. Bowed would be my life for his... I went everywhere looking for deputies. I went to their homes to the general store. And I went to the town saloon. In fact, we had a scene in the saloon. But we cut it because Phil Harris is on another network. Finally, I went looking for desperate Dennis McNulty. A man who had been my assistant. Suddenly, I saw him. He came right in towards me. Paint? He did the white line down the middle of the street. Hi, Gary. Congratulations. I hear you just got married. That's right. I did. Would you marry the school teacher? No way. They always do in westerns. Look, I haven't time to talk about that. I'm in trouble, Frank. I'm in trouble. Frank Miller's coming back in town to kill me. I need help. You sure do help you. You will? Sure you're not afraid? Of course not. When I see Frank Miller, I'll sneak up behind him. Uh-huh. Then I'll stick my gun in his back and say, Feet up! You mean hands up? No, feet up. Pat him on the popo. Turned the cow over on its back and was milking it. Like the fountain at Wilshire and Santa Monica. I kept walking on through the town, looking for help. The streets were deserted. I was getting close to high noon. And I had to find somebody to deputize. So I just kept walking. Walking. Walk. Want to sing about those lucky. Those good old luckies. Find taste in luckies. Cause lucky strikes our favorite brand. Everyone's staring and comparing. Everyone's standing round us staring. Look at that pig and move along. Near and high noon. Lucky's are so much better tasting. Give him another time to waste him. He's not afraid of death. But oh, what will he do with our minds? No fewer words were ever spoken. We heard him from our mind. Remember when those guns start smoking. Be sure it's luckies. Those good old luckies. So free and easy on the draw. Still I could find no one to help me. I was a marked man. No one would even come near me. This was before the days that Goro fell. In my search for help, I wandered down to the Mexican quarter. I came upon a group of people who were having a fiesta. Needing a deputy badly, I approached one of the men and said... Pardon me, senor. But do you know who I am? Si. You know there's a man out to kill me? Si. Would you be willing to help me? Si. What's your name? Si. Si? Si. Now you. You, senorita, are you a sister? Si. Is it all right for your brother to help you? Si. What's your name? Conchita Guadalupe Lolita Hernandez Gonzalez Clarita da Prado Romano Rosita Ramirez. Conchita Guadalupe Lolita Hernandez Gonzalez Clarita da Pedro Romano Rosita Ramirez? Si. But that name is too long. What can I call you? Si. Si. Si. But I was talking to her, wasn't I? Si. What do you do for a living? Si. But I couldn't take a chance on Conchita Guadalupe Lolita Hernandez, Gonzalez Clarita da Prado Romano Rosita Ramirez getting killed. You would drive the tombstone maker nuts. Now I had to make up my mind. I wasn't going to wait for Miller to come looking for me. I decided to go down to the railroad station and wait for him. I reached the railroad station. Frank Miller's train was due to arrive at high noon. But only a few minutes to wait. I went inside. Train now loading on track 5, 4, and 9. Come on, guys. I was alone in the station except for one cowboy. Thinking I could make him a deputy, I went over to talk to him. What's your name, partner? Tex Crosby. Tex A, then you were born in Texas. No, I was born in Louisiana, but ain't nobody going to call me Louise. That's an old joke. Well, it was new in 1875. Oh, yeah. What are you doing here anyway, Tex? Well, I'm waiting for Frank Miller to arrive. We're going to kill the town marshal. Oh, you worry? Well, I'm the town marshal, and I'm going to kill you. Train now leaving on track 5, 4, and 9. Azusa and Coop. I'll give you a fighting chance. When I count 3, draw and shoot. Okay, 1, 2, 3. Oh. Among us. Gotcha, Tex. Oh, oh. As he lay there, he reminded me of his brother. He was a grown-up, too. A grid of one of the killers. The train pulled into the station, came to a stop. Frank Miller got off the very last car, was met by his two remaining henchmen. It was my date with destiny. Only silence. I walked toward the three men who wanted to kill me. Alone in the blazing noonday sun, with my hands on my gun, slowly I kept going towards them. The sound man got up and I continued walking. My throat was dry. I knew that within one minute, either they or I would be dead. As soon as I got within pistol range, I drew my gun and fired. A chance to talk. This wasn't the way it was done in the picture. But I know how to save money on actors. I was saved now. My only problem was whether to ask my wife to come back to me or go looking for Conchita Guadalope, Lolita Hernandes, Gonzalez Clarita de Prada, Ramona Rosita Ramirez. But I in the whole town knew it was high noon. The next Saturday, February 7th, more than 3,250,000 scouts and leaders of the Boy Scouts of America have a candle lighting job on their hands. It is the beginning of Boy Scout Week and these scouts are adding the 43rd candle on their birthday cake. Candles that through the years have lighted boyhoods past to manhood, brightening the way with fun and fellowship, guiding boys to a future of good citizenship. And ladies and gentlemen, today's scouts are tomorrow's citizens. Thank you. Friends, your enjoyment of a cigarette comes from its taste. And that's why I want to remind you that nothing, no nothing, beats better taste. Now, luckies give you that better taste you want, a cleaner, fresher, smoother taste, a thoroughly better taste that starts right with the fine, light and mild tobacco that goes into every lucky. Yes, LS, MFT, lucky strike means fine tobacco. What's more, luckies also taste better because they're made better, made round and firm and fully packed to draw freely and smoke evenly. So friends, for your own real deep down smoking enjoyment, for a better tasting cigarette, change to lucky strike. So be happy, go lucky. Next time you buy cigarettes, get a carton of Lucky Strike. Be happy, go lucky, get better taste today. Ladies and gentlemen, I want to thank Mr. Stanley Kramer for appearing on our program and also to congratulate him on the many wonderful pictures that he has produced. And one of the best of all is his latest production, Member of the Wedding, starring Ethel Waters, Julie Harris and Brandon DeWile. Good night, folks. Every Thursday over this same station. Solve your newspaper for the time. The next program is brought to you by Lucky Strike, product of the American Tobacco Company, America's leading manufacturer of cigarettes. Stay tuned for Amos and Andy, which follows immediately over the CBS Radio Network.