 Hello everyone, I am a Narc Survivor. Welcome to my YouTube channel. Before I begin please hit the thumbs up button down below to show your support. Click subscribe and hit the bell icon to be notified when I upload a new video. And if you are interested in a one-on-one coaching session with me you can just go to my website to book it is NarcSurvivor.co.uk. Do this to defeat the narcissist once and for all. Narcissists can only control you if they can control your emotional reactions. The emotions that you experience in reaction to their actions or words. And that is all they're really concerned with. They're only focused on how you're reacting to them. And even then they can't feel what you're feeling. Your happiness, fear or sadness does not affect them. Which is how they're able to manipulate and abuse you. Because your feelings do not influence them in any way. They're disconnected from their own emotions. So how could they ever be connected to yours? They manipulate you into feeling a certain way. To make you behave a certain way. So that it elevates themselves at your expense. They control your qualities and characteristics through your emotions. So that it makes them feel powerful. When otherwise they would feel weak and insecure. So even then it's really just a false sense of power and control. Because it's dependent on you. It's not generated from within. Which means that they can't sustain it without you. And that is why they have to manipulate and control you to get their narcissistic supply. So to defeat the narcissist you need to cut off their supply by taking back control over your emotions. And then that will leave them to perish. But it's easier to talk about it than to actually do it. Because they are masters of manipulation. They've been manipulating people their entire lives. So they're very good at it. Because it's what they had to do to survive. They couldn't make it this far by being authentic. Which is why they rely heavily on strategies and tactics. In order to provoke a reaction in you. And make you angry or upset. Because they know that if they say and do certain things it's going to make you feel a certain way. And that's all that they're really looking for. They're only concerned about your feelings. Because if you're happy they're sad. And if you're sad they're happy. So they have to manage and control your emotions. In order to feel like they have power over you. Because if they have power over you they have power over their emotions. So it's this endless cycle of drama and chaos. Which you may not even desire to partake in. But they're participating in it because they need it. They can't survive emotionally without it. Which is why they always need to read into your feelings. And if for whatever reason they weren't unable to do that. They would probably go insane. Because if they don't know what you're feeling. They have lost control. Which causes a narcissistic injury. And then they rage in an attempt to get something from you. But if you remain calm without any emotion. They will lose even more control. So you need to become silent. And not show what you're feeling. But also accept what is happening. Instead of giving them the responses they're looking for. Because when they do this. They want you to take it seriously. As though it's something significant and relevant. So that you will justify yourself. And try to explain yourself to them. So that they can feel important. So instead of doing that. Recognize that they're just revealing things that are wrong about themselves. Because the very things they're blaming you for are typically what they're guilty of. So when you stop explaining yourself. You are taking away that ability to control you. But when you engage in this struggle with them. It benefits them even if they don't win. Because all they're really trying to do is get a reaction from you. As George Bernard. Sure as said. Never wrestle with pigs. You both get dirty. And besides the pig likes it. So stay out of the wrestling ring with a narcissist. And instead choose to disengage. Remove yourself from the attachment and connection. And take away your interest and involvement. Because that's where you will find your true power. Where you will then be able to direct your own feelings of behavior at the course of events. Instead of constantly being at the brim of whatever they're saying or doing. Because that's really the only thing that will empower you. There is no winning with a narcissist. You have to emotionally detach. In order to find yourself again. Because if you get in the wrestling ring with them. You're the only one who is going to get hurt. They're going to enjoy it and find pleasure in it. Because in terms of emotional manipulation. They're like professional wrestlers. And they function using a false character which they're not even connected to. So it's not going to have much of an effect on them. As long as they get a response out of you. They're going to be satisfied. Because their power is coming from you. They have no power of their own. Which is how it is potentially very easy to defeat a narcissist by taking your power back. Because without that they haven't got a leg to stand on. They would collapse like a house of cards. And you can do that by not playing their game. And choosing to play your own game that you are in control of. Because that's how you're going to win. Narcissists are like loose cannons or ticking time bombs. They're uncontrolled people who engage in reckless behavior and use pure judgment. Unpredictable words and actions. To cause embarrassment and harm to people. So they could explode at any moment. And they want you to explode as they explode. But once you choose to stop participating in the cycle of trauma dysfunction and chaos. They end up being harmed by their own actions. As a result of what they were trying to do to you. The narcissist will go on and on. And they will say and do whatever they think will hurt you the most. Because all they want is your reaction. But even when they get it. They're still not going to be satisfied. And it's just never going to end. They're always going to act crazy and foolish around you. Which is why the best thing you can do is walk away. But if you have to be with them for whatever reason. You can choose to ignore them. Just treat them as an object. As something that's not even relevant. Because then they're just never going to stop. But doing this can also put you at risk of danger or harm. Because if they're not getting a reaction out of you. It will starve them of supply. Which means that they may try to ramp up the abuse in order to get what they want from you. And they may go all out to try to ruin your life. But despite this it is still the best strategy. If you wanted to defeat the narcissist. By being unconnected and unconcerned with them. Especially on an emotional level. Because otherwise they're going to strip you of your power. And they're going to have power over you. And as we know power in the hands of a narcissist is never a good thing. They're only going to use it to further manipulate and control you. So do not let them play the game. By not being a willing participant. You win by giving them no response. Because it really reveals who cares the most in that situation. And when they're trying to provoke you. That's really what they're trying to avoid reflecting on. The fact that they're the ones who care. And they're trying to make you care. Because it's the only way that they can strip your power from you. And elevate themselves at your expense. When really you just need to recognize that you have no business caring about things that you have no business caring about. It has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. Which is why they hate it when you speak the truth. And when you see the reality of the situation. Instead they would rather you overlooked it. Or pretended not to notice. And instead saw things from their warped perspective. Which really has no basis in reality. So that you can continue to enable them to exist in this fantasy world. That they have created inside their heads. Where they are all powerful and all knowing. And you are their subservient. Because that way it takes away the attention and focus from their dysfunctional behavior. When you choose to play along. Which is why of course that's what they want you to do. Because they don't want you to recognize how deceptive and misleading they really are. When you point out they're wrong doing. It does not benefit them at all. And in fact it just triggers their shame and makes them go insane. And instead of reflecting on it and feeling bad about their actions. They will attack you. Because that's their preferred method of dodging their shame. But it should only reveal to you that beneath the surface of their motivations. They actually already know that they are wrong. And that's why they get so mad and lash out at you. It's why they can't go within themselves. Because if they did that. They would be forced to accept it. And that's something they don't want to do. Which is why they want to make you just as crazy and illusion as they are. They want to corrupt and deprave you. To where there's no clear moral response or action. To make things confusing. So that they can get what they need. And this is all a part of their false self. So it's only you who is going to risk everything and shed light on wrongdoing. You're the only one who is going to tell the truth and stand for rightness. And anytime that you do that. They're going to see a reflection of themselves that they don't like. They're going to be forced to accept reality. And for a narcissist. That is the ultimate defeat. Thank you for watching. If you found this video helpful. Please give it a thumbs up. Share your thoughts in the comment section. Hit subscribe to receive the notifications. And if you would like to support the channel. You can donate at paypal.me slash narc-survivor. You can book a one on one with me on my website. It's narc-survivor.co.uk. Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.