 All right, I am here today with Steve the Dean of the man mindset Steve. How you doing today? I'm great man. Thank you for having me on T dog. Appreciate it. Oh, yes, sir. Yes, sir. Yes, sir I'm glad you're here First of all, let's talk about I guess how you got into the dating and the dating coaching game Well, I got into it when I was nine. Um, I I was I was doing okay with women. I was kissing girls. I get caught with girls. Um, I'd talk enough to girls to get over the house and when they had started up, but in my shirt I get scared and I run home, you know, all that stuff. So I mean, I was I was doing all this like We're talking like late 70s and everything. So what happened was I met a mentor That showed me a process of thinking To be able to think for myself to be able to answer and solve situations on my own without the help of anybody else because Uh, he showed me that as a man I'm authentic, you know, we're all authentic, you know the fingerprint always talk about the fingerprint in your name And he showed me the value of my name. So I I've been doing this well from nine But professionally for 30 years I I you know in high school guys are giving me a little bit of money here and there to help them out But in the 90s, that's when I really jumped into this Uh, then I like started doing the podcast Then from podcast I got on with maxima clean and then I rolled into mp3s and on and on until where we're at right now So I've been doing this for 30 years, man And then when did you start your actual podcast? Obviously youtube hasn't been around forever Actually, how did you do it before youtube? It was uh, it was called mp3s It was it was first it was it was like you you were record files And then they then they came up with podcast and like with lifts and where you could Upload your files and stuff. See it was podcast became before the youtube and all other stuff So then I went to blog talk radio, which i'm still on right now and then it rolled into, you know, um, my space came in there um aol dot well I'm an age of myself, but it started off online with aol dot com In yahoo chat They used to have chat rooms where guys and women were chat and guys would talk to me because I was spitting all the fire In the chat room. They were wondering what I was doing. So I was kind of doing it like when around 96 97 online and everything Okay, now, okay, you have a lot of guys that that draw to you And what is the appeal? What's the appeal and that draws men to you? Well, the appeal is is that I teach guys not What to think I don't I don't teach guys to to to mimic me. I don't teach guys to Use terminologies and phrases what I teach guys is is that they need to learn their name and their authenticity Like I said before and what I teach guys is the game is not about women I always tell them that the game women are a perk in the game You know, there's there's nothing women have nothing to do with you as a man But as a man, you've got to learn knowledge yourself Knowledge of women knowledge of dating and knowledge of sex Because all these things connect and they work together But the the problem is t is that a lot of young men Still carry over high school thinking into the real world As in the fears the the lack of confidence and they carry that over where women begin to evolve sexually You know, they they test their sexual range of things. So I think where I where I separate myself is I work on authenticity I I teach guys the right poetry to work on their mouthpieces Uh, I teach guys how to cook. I teach guys every little piece of a lifestyle not just Approaching women text and talking sex kissing making out everything under the sun, man But there's no specific template like I've seen some where it's like say exactly this to a woman Like go ahead and read my book and do this say these exact words The the only time I say say these exact words is approaching a woman because they got a free approach boot camp because Approaching a woman has nothing to do with the game So I don't necessarily tell people do this I ask them what you think you should do because What I'm trying to get these guys to see is that they have their own language Like tony you have your own language like like we've we've known each other for a few years And I I know I know you're a ladies man. I don't know if I'm allowed to say that but I I know you're a ladies man, but We've never met each other But we still connect on the same level because your thinking is yours and yours alone And my thinking is mine and when we come together. We're two Independent thinkers coming together like we are right now. So Like the tony bruno or like your brother george saying way, you know, it's white chocolate the same thing Has their own he has his own language his own thinking that's only conducive to him and nobody else And that's what i'm trying to get young men to see stop mimicking Stop parroting stop using words and phrases from somebody else and learn yourself because if you're following somebody else's son What happens when that son goes away? Now do you think it's gotten I guess the word I guess I want to use has it gotten worse for men since you started It yes, it's gotten worse because if you think about it tony two decades ago And a lot of men a lot of young boys don't understand this two decades ago. They were doing this with puas They were going to boot camps teaching deception lies manipulation and things like that two decades ago to the the young men that were in the early 2000s and What's happening now is is that there is this huge push And and this is going to be crazy tony follow me on this It's starting to get to a point where women aren't the enemy It's men that are teaching guys the wrong information about women You see a lot of people out there are talking Okay, tony you remember scared straight you remember back in the day. Yeah. Oh, okay So we and if anybody doesn't know the premise of a scared straight It is a bunch of bad kids that go to prison Where they get scared to run and do a certain have a certain lifestyle right tony Okay So what's happening now is that people are using their lives To manipulate these young boys Into thinking that it's going to happen to them They're saying like it's for instance like Um, well, I'm gonna give you an example. Well tony I was in a bad relationship and I didn't get married I had a bad relationship a bad marriage and she did me wrong See, this is why you shouldn't get married. This is why you shouldn't date women and this is why you shouldn't do that When That person saying that hasn't married every woman in the world He hasn't dated every woman in the world and it is a it's a it's our responsibility not to teach these young boys Their line of thinking because if i'm teaching you how to think like me You're losing yourself. Do you see what i'm saying my brother? Oh, yeah, I get it. I get it and what it sounds to me too is like what you just said about also I think is people aren't owning up to their own responsibilities. Yes And and the mistakes that they made Because I do notice there's a there's a faction of the manisphere that will blame women for everything And I'm not I'm I'm going to tell you the truth I mean when I first entered the manisphere and then again, I've only had really I'll say a couple I call them bad relationships that affected me in my life But I but at first the first thing I did was blame the blame the woman and what I actually had to do Was own up to what I did Whatever I allowed was what I accepted Well and and see tony that's the crazy thing the game isn't about women So how can you complain about something that has nothing to do with manhood that that's how simple it is and but unfortunately It's it's this push where we want to say that We're gonna blame women like tony if I gave it's like I gave you I give you a tv remote and control tony And you choose what buttons you press that the remote control doesn't control you Nor does the tv control you you control what you watch You control what channels you control when to turn the tv on and when to control the tv off But what's going on right now is that a lot of young men out there in the youtube world They're saying that it's the tv's fault why you can't watch tv It's the remote controls fault why you can't do that and We also have another problem where we have a lot of young men Giving a lot of bad information when their nuts haven't dropped from their stomach yet I mean you got young guys trying to teach life lessons when they haven't even matured enough To even understand life lessons. So it's it's coming from everywhere, man Now when when you talk when you talk to guys Okay, you talk to say a student or something like that Do you do you adjust your and I guess adjust your Your coaching according to their age No, I I don't adjust coaching to age because I adjust to the thinking it doesn't matter how old they are The problem is how they see the world. Well, not even how they see the world, tony Is how they see their cells in the world. That's the problem So what we have to do is I teach them to learn themselves to learn what makes them them And and the biggest thing I teach them is they have to a detach From the pod or the group As a man, tony, you are you are on your own road as a man I'm on my own road as a man and I'm not talking about purpose that that's responsibility And I'm not talking about all those jargon names I'm saying that the road that you're walking is one that you have to walk by yourself And you can't walk that road with another man. It is yours and yours alone. So that's what I show them They've got to learn how to be alone and walk that road Now in in this manosphere, we see so much emphasis on female nature Just no such thing Okay, so that's I want your take on female nature No such thing. There's no such thing as female nature. No such thing as hypergamy There's no and I'm gonna tell you why Because a female doesn't define me So her what does her nature have to do with me? She is living in my world. I am bringing my world to her. Uh, so what what Does her okay? If I'm looking at female nature I need I might as well worry about the snakes outside of my lawn I might as well worry about the sharks out in the beach and things like that That's the problem. We're so busy looking outside of ourselves of what women do Versus who we are because as a man I train women on what I expect them to be for me So if I take ownership and responsibility of myself and I train women the way I want them to be and they have a right to say Yes or no, Tony How can I worry about her nature because I'm going to correct behaviors? She see a lot of men Tony think women should come out of the box perfect. It's not true They're not coming out of the box perfect But one thing they will do is when they get around a man They're going to follow his lead because they know a man will walk away That's why remember Tony and you know what I'm talking about. There was no such thing as female nature There was no such thing as hypergamy in the last few years There was no such thing as all these purple all all these key words Are what we call catchphrases because if that was the case Tony you wouldn't get the women that you get now or how you know, I'm gonna put you on a bloody spot up But Tony you wouldn't be you George George your brother wouldn't be him And I wouldn't be me if we allowed women to dictate how we move in this world, sir Okay, so um So we got we got with female nature. So yes basic what What what are you teaching guys to How do I put this to attract women to them? Okay, when I'm teaching guys is there's a several things one thing I always tell guys I don't teach guys how to have sex. That's that's below me I teach guys to build themselves and their name in a way To attract women on an emotional level see women make Emotional investments and that's what I guys understand Look, I don't my if you want to get your body right get your body right If you want nice clothes get nice clothes and nice cars and nice shoes But don't do it for a woman. So what I teach guys again knowledge yourself Knowing who you are establishing laws rules codes Mission statements legacy statements envision statements on not only how you see the world But how you see relationships and how you see women knowledge of uh dating Understand that dating isn't about feeding her and buying her drinks and bending over backwards It's about being honest with women and telling them the truth Knowledge of sex what a lot of guys don't do is they don't look to their sexuality They don't know the difference between smooth seductive romantic kinky dirty freaky nasty They don't understand that sexuality is not just how you are. Yes. It's how you dress is how your house is established It's one thing called flow. So Personality traits self-awareness how you communicate how you delegate adaptability And a way you can affect change in yourself to affect change in women, sir Okay, well, you know, there is one word that you just that you just said Yes, and I know this word in definitely parts of the man is fair is absolutely Just probably decimated when it's mentioned and that's romance Yes, okay Like I told you before tony unfortunately for a lot of young men they carry over the high school thinking They carry over the thinking that they had the the immaturity That they had in high school and they bring that into the real world And see women they when they go into the real world They look at their sexuality. They embrace their sexuality. They they learn about their sexuality their kinks and what they like and what they don't like And I always try to teach guys because I used to do a little jiggalooing. I used to teach guys that uh, the beautiful thing about sexuality Is showing a woman. I'm opportunity. I'm not her option I am the thing that can tap into her mind I see most guys see women have kitty cat. I'll call it kitty cats They're always going for the one between their legs But not the one between their ears because they're too ashamed to learn about their sexuality They're too ashamed to understand that as you mature You know how to be romantic when it becomes romantic. You know how to be smooth and seductive You know how to shift down to be kinky or dirty or nasty It's a process that's in every man But they shy away from it because the high school maturity says oh man, I'm not gonna do that stupid Why would I do that? Why why would I want to learn? But if you know 50 shades of gray, right the book, you know, it was one of the best-selling books But that's the thing Why wasn't the best-selling one of the best-selling books because women are Feaning for men That not only know sexuality to themselves But can carry a woman to a threshold of sexuality where she learns more about herself Okay, gotcha. Gotcha. Yeah, that movie was in that book was huge. Yes huge I mean women lined up around the block to get in there and see that Whether they're a feminist or not is from what I understand. Yes, so it's it's in it's in all women So let's say you have a an existing guy in a relationship. Yes, okay, and it's going badly. Yes How do you break that down for a man? Okay, the first thing I first thing I let all men know is that they got to look at relationships Totally different. I see everybody looks at relationship as one thing You know, you meet the woman and then you just go through straight to moving in and dating The difference that we do and I've always done for the last 30 years is I've broken down relationships Meeting and dating a woman is different from a relationship A relationship is different from moving in together moving in together is different from engagement Engagement is a different from marriage. So what I mean is every phase as a man Now because I put it on the man because it's not about women You have to know what you're going to tolerate You need to know what you're going to put up with and you need to know what you want From every relationship and if that woman is not giving you what you want You either fall back Or let her go But I went but when guys have relationship issues We've got to see The tough thing a lot of men don't want to do is the ego and self-importance won't allow them To realize that when a woman treats them bad It's not on the woman a man trains a woman on how she should treat them By the respect that he demands from the woman So if that's the case, we've got to I always go back to the first argument and always ask him What did you do? I'm sorry. That's all right. Do you do you teach the opposite though, too? Do you teach that? The And I'm I'm I'm asking you this but do you teach that the men should respect the women also? No, no, every okay. Everything is built on respect. See I And as for respect because I threw Tony I threw uh, george off on this one I remember when I was interviewing see I teach guys how to fall into respect and not love Falling to respect first don't fall in love That means that your standard in who you are as a man Has to be the compass of the relationship That means you have to leader and a man that has no sense of self No self-value no self-worth and he doesn't believe in himself The woman is going to be the compass and that's where the problem is because there's no balance at that point And women don't know how to be men so they try to be men and that's where the the two people always butt heads, man Oh, wow. Yeah, that makes a lot of sense So, I mean it sounds like your philosophy is it's all about the man It's about yes always And the men the man is the leader is the leader always and but that's what so what you're telling me is women Are looking for that leader They are craving it goes back to nature. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. It goes back to nature as well Yes, absolutely. They want to be led They don't want somebody that walks on eggshells. They don't want somebody who's not sure of himself You before you even get with a woman You have to know that I can walk away and say no to any woman I meet I will never put a woman above myself She can walk beside me, but she can never be above me because I am the son You know, I am all things. So I this is what I expect and it's just like a job See people are under this impression that if a woman treats me bad, Tony, okay Okay, let's just take woman. Let's say her name is woman a okay And if woman a treats me bad, okay, you're you're you're in florida I'm in texas So a woman a treats me bad in texas The way they're spinning it on youtube is that that same woman is can go to florida and treat you the same way That's not true Because you and I are two you were two. I mean, we're I'm just giving an analogy, but I I I cannot base Women off of what somebody tells me Because as a man, I have to judge women on how they treat me not the next man The next man is not my problem. And as it doesn't sound mean, but it's true I can't worry about the next man. I can only worry about what I know and what I can do my brother Okay, um, you have some catchphrases and one of your biggest catchphrases and I like this And if you when somebody hears this it's going to make them think and it's called grass eating lion Yes, yes Tell me about yeah, tell me about that what that means. I mean explain that in some detail a a Okay, a grass a grass eating lion is an individual That wants to play the role of a man He's an individual that puts the coat of a man on or the hat of a man He's an individual that has mommy. Okay. Remember as men We cut the umbilical cord Tony But as these guys do they take the umbilical cord out of mom And they attach it to a man that gives the same emotional output that mom does Mom complains right mom's the victim mom doesn't take accountability for anything, right? So with these grass eating lions do is they take the umbilical cord out of mom And they look for somebody like mom and that's where they find certain kind of men that teach the same things as mom They don't teach these boys. Tony. I don't know how many ways you complain about women. I don't I don't I don't know how many ways you can do it, but They a grass eating lion doesn't see the big picture A grass eating lion doesn't look for himself to the answers. He doesn't have vision He's not clear. He's not concise. He's not impactful. He cannot communicate He doesn't take risks What he does is he waits for life to happen and he's always pointing the finger at everybody else He's always blaming everybody else who was going on in his life And he's looking for everybody else to tell him how to maneuver his life He's waiting for somebody to tell him who to marry who to date who not to date And that means that you're playing the role of lion, but instead of eating meat. You're like, that's the best grass I ever had Tony this grass is good Gotcha Now can you can you attribute this to Fatherless society. Oh, absolutely. Well, remember, remember Tony A lot of these boys came from emotions And they never cut the cord So the the the boundaries that the feelings the emotions the the unaccounted not taking account Accountability what they do Comes from mom and I'm not saying mom's a bad person I'm just saying that because there was no man And Tony even if there was a man in the household, maybe dad slept on the couch Maybe dad was saying happy wife happy life. Maybe dad was getting beat down by mom So it is two different ways and what happens is They don't teach these young boys that they must maneuver From the house and into life with a whole new thinking See, they never were told that it's when you get out in that serengeti the rules change And a lot of young boys can't handle that so what they do Tony Because of mom and because of no fathers They try to find a father figure in another guy And but what they sometimes they look for is mom in that guy They look for someone to say let's blame women for everything that's wrong in our life Let's not take accountability for our actions Let's let's blame the women for everything that's going wrong in our life And then you've got other people see they want the community And not the individual so they want to feel like they're part of something instead of being a part of their name, brother Okay another topic I'm a little older and this is this is really probably uh This is a epidemic in our country is a man that's been married for 30 years His wife blindsides them in leaves. He hasn't been in the dating world So i'm sure you can help a guy like that also every I have more I have more Tony See what I always tell guys that they have to understand is that you know what? Life is going to happen and that's that's just to be honest with you as men life happens But as life happens we got to learn and we have to grow every day And we have to create chapters in our lives of who we are and If you're if things don't work out 30 years later, there's no reason why you can't get back out there because Tony isn't a lion a lion in 24 ad 62 bc 1970 70 68 14 82 The times will change But a man will always stay the same Tony and that's the thing that a lot of young men don't see They think that when they if they get divorced that it's scary. No, yes, it's going to be scary Tony because You because you've never sharpened your sword remember Tony as a man You must always keep our name sharp You almost sharp that sword real tight and a lot of guys don't do that But I get them to learn their value and show women that they need to invest in them instead of the other way around brother All right. Well, let's let's talk about one topic and that is Social media. Yes I hear a lot of complaints Now if you go on any instagram, especially instagram or any of these things. Yes, especially You will see a woman can put up a picture of her in a bikini or in a thong And you just look down that scroll down there Just man after man after man after man after man so What what has social media done to dating and has it given a women? A false sense of validation or are they getting all the validation they need from putting a picture on instagram or facebook or Well, they're they're getting the validation that they want online But they're they get the what they need from a man. So We're talking are we talking on social media for women not for guys, but for women, right? Yeah. Yeah, okay Okay, so okay if you look okay If you turn on your tv, Tony It's It's it's insecurity commercials Women are walking insecurities They're not and no, I'm okay. I'm not saying women aren't special, but they're not special There's nothing special about a woman until a man determines she's special But with a lot of guys don't understand or women They're walking insecurities every day botox make up Eyeliner hair nails all these things to what enhance or lie to the woman to make her feel like she's something that she's not The dress makes her feel good the shoes make her feel good The purses make her feel good, but Tony like you said the problem is there's a reinforcement from the grassy lions That thinks she's special and they judge her because of her looks and not her character and her personality But see where where a woman like that will sleep with a man like us, Tony It's because I look beyond the body The body I don't I never make it about sex Tony. That's why I always tell guys If you make it about sex it shows the woman your lack of experience I make it about my time. I don't want to waste my time I that's the last thing I don't want to waste my time And a lot of these guys think by kissing her behind And buying her things and doing all that other stuff that she's going to want them She's going to use them But she's not going to want them Tony and social media has done a bad job for both sides, man Well, let's stay on this topic of social media and social media inside that that group is also dating websites Now especially in this quarantine and this lockdown. It's not not so bad in florida, but Um Whenever you look whether you'd be on bumble or tinder And I've noticed this kind of as a pattern and really since probably the beginning of the year You're going to see at the bottom You're going to see an amazon wish list Yes, you're going to see only was it only fans? Only fans you're going to see Venmo and I think venmo is a money money sending service. Yes So that's telling me that When a woman is putting this out there There are guys actually paying them in buying them things Tony, here's the problem. Everybody has a role to play in this this world Everybody has roles to play as in everybody can't be a man Everybody can't everybody wants to be a man, but They're the hunted and they're the hunters and what guys have to understand is That's what keeps the economy going, you know See the the world the game is so deep now, Tony that There are companies out there sell sabotaging young men To put them in situations to give women money to establish. It's it's like a it's a connection You know, I mean it's a connection on a deeper level, but But when it comes to this economy and it comes all the stuff that you're talking about That's the power women realize they have as soon as they start learning about their sexuality They know what they have They just cultivate it redefine it and start using it to get what they want And that's where guys like me come in that to tell you guys to evolve yourself See, Tony, guess what every woman that's getting Free stuff from these guys Are the same women buying stuff for men like us They're the same women that are buying us watches and and clothes and flying us around and things like that Because they see value in us and they invest in emotional value Now The it's the amazon wish list I just noticed that recently And I noticed a lot of it. I mean it's always on there and I'm I I did have an issue with it I'm like I like I said our our men actually paying for this What what does that get a man? What does that get a man? Well, will it get him? I thank you in a hello Hello, thank you. No, no No, they had before that they was something if you look it up it's called sex lies and rinsing guys This was going on a long time ago. See say, Tony People don't understand where this happened. There was there was something that happened in 2007 That flipped the whole entire game, Tony 2007 was the change that what we're getting right now Now, Tony, you've been around you've seen the puas in the 2000s, right? The boot camps and all that other stuff, right? Now we can agree that when the puas they had the layers and they were teaching guys how to manipulate The sieve there were no metals, right? There was no purpose. There was not much complaining. Can we agree on that? They would it was it was just they were living high off the hog, right? They they there were no complaining women are bad. They never said anything because They had these secret groups going on women didn't know what was happening But when vh1 Dropped the pickup artists. I think it was august 7th 2007 That's what changed the whole world because women then realized that Wait a second. This is how deep we got it wasn't the fact that these guys were trying to manipulate these women into bed These women realized that these guys were scared of women lack confidence. They were not assertive So the flip happened. It's like the the puas created frankenstein, right? And now frankenstein is tearing down the town. Everybody wants to complain about frankenstein, right? And what happened was when that flip happened, tony Women became more aggressive more assertive and they started using the the The lack of confidence in these guys to get what they want Where they started creating these these pages where or even the webcams where they were getting paid And not giving anything away and then did you notice tony after 2007? What started to pop up Women are bad women are bad. Oh, it's not fair, right? I mean you told me you were there You see what I'm saying? There was a change, but no one wants to talk about that truth, brother Now growing up and me and my brothers and yes, I just never I guess really it really it really hit me hard is when I first went to 21 actually before 21 But yes, but the issue that men were having a problem Meeting women. Yeah, I never really me and my brother really never understood that whole me now I did have a a few talks with anthony johnson in depth about this Yes, about You know what the issue is I I've never had the issue maybe because I was I don't know. I maybe I had a strong father who was a you know, who was a player I don't know, you know But I Never I've never had an issue very well and oh we still still can't till this day. I mean, I don't have an issue It I want the woman that I want to spend company with Is the one that I choose to choose To have company with and that's it Right. Well, your your father taught you and your brother what a bruno was You know, you see I'm saying Tony your father showed you What a what is a bruno? You know what what is a man? What how does a bruno think how does a bruno that behave? How does he think and as a bruno you must think for yourself and as a bruno you must solve the world for yourself And and that was that's the difference a lot of these young men Are running away from their name. They're running away from what makes them unique like for us You know, we were before the internet. That's why we're killing it because we're before the internet Which means that we had to put work in ourselves if we wanted to talk to a woman We had to what get up And go all the way over there even if she turns us now So These young men are going away from their name And they're trying to be somebody else and that's the problem. See when you try to be somebody else That's where you have problems because you're you're looking for someone else to give you the answers number one But when you make it about women Instead of yourself I know that sounds crazy, but that's where the problem another problem is because again The game has nothing to do with women Women have no part in my life as a man Nor did women have a part in you learning to be a bruno and your brother george learning how to be a bruno mm-hmm now do you also talk to men about Just I guess we'll call it a rotation about having another word just having sex Only with a woman and communicating that to her only I teach guys from the get go to always let a woman know where she's at Never lie to her let her know Because women are not used to men saying no Women are not used to men telling them what they really are and that's why I always tell guys look I don't want a relationship with you. You know, I'm not looking for a relationship Matter of fact, the reason why I can't give you a relationship is to be honest with you I don't know you well enough to give your relationship So how can I give you something that you think you want when you and I don't even know each other? And that's the truth. I'm not making up. I mean, I don't know her so I can't give her one But once I determine what it is. I want keyword me Then I have to relay that just like a job has to relay the information from manager to employee You have to be able to be real with these women, but the problem with a lot of guys They can't be real with women They gotta they gotta beat around the bush walk on eggshells Lie and try to be their friends and all that other stuff. I don't believe it I don't believe me that women can be friends. I I tell the women all the time I can't be your friend if I'm attracted to you. It's not happening Yeah, now, what do you what do you tell a guy when Um, a girl tells him for us to have sex. I want to be in a relationship I tell her goodbye. No matter of fact, I not only tell you goodbye. I tell her this I I respect what you're saying Tony let me ask you a question. Do you grill? I'm not in your Florida, but you grill, right? Oh, yeah, yeah, and when you grill, what do you do to the meat before you put it on the grill? I season it and marinate it. Yeah, you marinate the meat, right? So what I call this is putting a candle in the window My thing is if you want a relationship Look, I'm not the guy But guess what? I'm gonna light that candle and put it in the window when you want to laugh When you want to blush you want to think when you want to react when you want to have a good time Call me but other than that take care and I'm done I'm moving on to the next one or the next town because I'm not gonna try to be what she wants me to be In order to get something that I know she would give me freely when she realizes I'm a man, brother But now also I think if a woman says that to you she really doesn't want a relationship. She she wants control Well, yeah, but see the thing that a lot of guys don't know see single women sometimes wear wedding rings, Tony Sometimes a single woman will put on a wedding ring and go to the club Because she might want a one night stand So she's got to kind of separate the guys that want long-term commitment from the guys that want one night stands And some guys will look at see I'm always like this. I'll give a woman Tell me no twice Because I think the first no is going to be the test You know, you can say you want a relationship, but I can also tell you I can't give you one now. What are we gonna do? Now we're gonna move forward or we're not but the thing is I'm gonna let you know because like you said control see A lot of these guys and it goes back to when we were talking about the guys saying all that stuff to the women They are options So an option or grassy lion accepts the crumbs of I don't know the crumb of I'll think about it The crumb of I'll get back to you later and I don't know and I'm not sure and they accept those things because They make it about sex and when you make it about sex with an emotional woman She's not just going to give you sex because you want it She's saying where do I get out of this? Yeah, you get sex, but I don't get any emotions out of this. So, you know what? I'll keep pushing the crumbs off the table And and give you the crumbs while I sleep with the tony brunos of the world. That's an a-hole. That's a jerk That's conceded that's selfish and and and that's the key to all this brother Oh, wow. Yeah, that's good the way you put that with the crumbs. That's really good. That's true, man Yeah, I've never heard it put like that um also now What do you say to let's say a guy that wants to get into a relationship? Exit goes back to I always say if you want a relationship before you walk out that door You must have a standard of principles. Okay, you see what guys don't understand always tell guys There are three laws that they must live by what I call outside in the real world The law of the land you kill somebody you're going to jail The law of the street if you're going 50 in a 20 mile an hour zone and you get caught Okay, you see what happens and then there's a law of the job Do what you're supposed to do go to work or do all those things But outside of that you can create the world how you see it So based off of how you see relationships, what is what is a woman to me that I want to date? What is a woman to me that I want to be in a relationship with? What is a woman to me that I want to live with? And these are things that men have to know out of the gate because when you make that transition From seeing each other to relationships You gotta see most guys don't do this. We got to have a pow wow We got to talk Because if if if you want a relationship with me just like a job This is the criteria This is the standard and this is what I expect of you and just like a job Either you're going to fulfill what we want you to do Or you're not and you're gone I'm not going to beg you to to to stop hanging out with other guys Because you're starting to become a representation of me and if you want to have guy friends, tony I'm not going to argue with you. I'm not going to fight you. We're just going to fall back to booty call And I I never want to try to change a woman, but I have the standard because tony. I am the standard Yeah, I noticed that A lot with women women with guy friends and I'll never understand how How there can be You know, you can be a woman can be in a relationship and then go out with her guy friends I don't think that a man that now that's a great. That's an example of a grass-eating lion How does that I can't even I can't even imagine I can't even imagine a woman saying yeah, okay, steve Well, I'm gonna hang out with tony I guess it's in the water or in the grass man I don't know man. I don't I can't even imagine that brother. Yeah Okay, well, you're you're a dating coach and you know, realistically, I mean you're a What if coach yes your number one I guess coaching specific topic that you deal with I always what does a man reach out to you for? They reach out to oh for several things They reach as sex women talking texting cooking Uh flirting everything under the sun Uh, I always try to get guys to begin to go down that road by themselves to understand that What I want you to do Is start to learn your name and your authenticity and stand on that And when you stand on that you're gonna build not high tolerance Not low tolerance, but no tolerance That means you're not going to put up with anything or anybody And you're going to be willing to walk away and say no Because you because your name is something you need to stand by Die for and own like it's like it's air out there So that's the first thing I got to teach them to Take all the wiring of making excuses blaming women blaming live blaming the trees the birds The flowers the grass. I mean all that blame we take all mommy out of them Yank all those cords out of them Clean them up and start them to build and cultivate Their rules based on how they see the world not how I see it because I Tony this is what I tell them Don't believe me Don't believe anything I say when I'm on youtube I tell them all the time, Tony Don't believe me because you don't know me But what I tell you is take the information And and see it for yourself Take what I'm giving you decoded into your name And encoded and uploaded into who you are, but don't believe me Because you don't know me. I'm just someone you watch on video But I mean I've got the the background to show you I know what I'm talking about but I want you to learn how to think for yourself And not look at me as a cult leader to tell you what to think Now in the past there's been one thing you've said In the past couple topics we talked And it was always right near the end and I think this is an issue you say you have to walk away Yes, I don't think a lot of men are able to walk away. Is it because they don't have any options? What is the reason? Well, it's it's a lack of self. It's not the fact of having options. It's the fact of Again, they're not special enough for me to care enough about them To to put my emotions into them and what happens is a lot of young men who don't have the foundation of self They get emotionally attached with the woman They get attached to the body the curves and all the things that they see on the outside But they never challenged a woman to say what do you bring into the table? Well, okay, you look good. But guess what she looks good too. And she looks good So there's nothing different between you and I can find another you and a younger version or a older version So What do you bring to my table in my world that separates you from all the other women? Because I can't base you off of your looks because your character because my mission to do this Your character must match your looks and that's the only way you get my time So these guys they become attached Tony because they don't stand on anything They're always you're so busy being told what to say Tony They're so busy complaining about women and worrying about women that when they get around a woman They don't know what to do because if all i'm doing is complaining about women How am I teaching you how to navigate your compass? Because your name Tony is your compass that guides you through that storm But if you don't have a compass you're gonna fall in love and and feel good about it. You see what I'm saying, bro Yeah Now everybody has this guy this I call him the relationship guy Who has to be in a relationship? As soon as he gets out of one he gets right back into one Now I have a few few buddies. I know that I call them. They're the relationship guys Cannot be alone can't do it What do you say to a guy like that now? I've seen some of these guys And I know that the woman is there Just so they can say they have a woman That's the problem. See and it goes back to long see see tony. I this is how deep I get I always tell guys You came into this world by yourself When your mom met your dad and you were conceived You didn't have facebook instagram A twitter account or anything like that to get to the egg, right? You took the journey to reach the egg on your own You were in competition with millions of your brothers and sisters But you reached the egg because you had passion drive and discipline It's just something happened along the way Where you forgot who you are you lost yourself in the in the muck of the world somewhere And what these guys don't understand is A man being a man is a lonely journey. I didn't say being alone. Tony. I said lonely because You've got to walk this road by yourself to learn you and I a woman cannot define me I can and that's the problem these guys define themselves like you said, tony by the woman They think a woman is the definition of a man But again, tony Women don't play a role in manhood. They never will They are just a person unless they get the man's name That's something different But even if having the man's name and she disrespects the name Then you're just rewarding bad behavior because you don't you can't be alone Because you don't know how it works, man How do you deal with a man that's gone through Regardless of how He got the trauma like yes because there's a demographic and I'm not sure what it is of men committing suicide Yes, so how do you deal with a guy who's not being able to get I think you call it a heart punch You know, I'm one of those guys to where yeah where my brother is like, you know, he'll be you know Me and have an issue he has an issue with me. Boom. He just hits me hard. I can take I'm used to it That's how I grew up. Yes, but how do you deal with a guy that can't handle that that heart punch that quick hard shot That's going to snap them out of it I kind of do a boiling frog tony I try to tell them the we've got to stop you we I don't want you to go with the current We got to do is begin a process again. It's a process because You know, like I said the puas back in day. It's not a magical pill. You can't be a doctor in a day This is going to be a process of turning your ship around and going against the current Because the current is is life knocking you down and the problems that you have and you must face your problems You must go towards the bullets or go towards the cave because You don't lose you learn from those things and what I tell them is it's okay to feel Look, I don't I tell guys all the time if you want to cry And you want to feel bad and you want look Go drive in the middle of nowhere Stop the car and cry your heart out Cry your heart out But when you get done wiping your tears, you better snap yourself up and you better hold your name as if it's a lifeline And that's what I tell them It's okay to hurt Because right now you don't have a sense of self But what we got to do is we're going to slowly build that but don't trust me Trust the process and trust yourself. I'm going to be here for the process Tony, but I am not the process That's the thing. I don't want you to don't rely on me I want you to learn how to rely on yourself to be able to solve these issues my brother So you're not calling him a Simp in the chat. You're not calling him a You know, I've seen that so much where a man will ask a sincere question and gets just attacked I don't care if it's on facebook or twitter or in a in a podcast and to me Not every man can handle that and I feel for those guys because when a guy actually reaches out when a man And Gets it in himself to reach out to a group of guys and then gets knocked down to me. That's a disaster waiting to happen Yeah, see the the individual must begin the process of it's none of my business People are allowed to say whatever they want to say about you People are allowed to say whatever they feel about you But it's the stories that you believe That have an impact on your personal and self image And that's the problem We got to get these young boys and even those that are afraid to speak up for themselves To not worry about what people think about you because people are loud Tony we can't change every guy to think like men. We can't do that But it goes back to the high school mentality. It's a crab in a bucket a lot of people Okay, let's say I'm coming to you Tony and I've got a problem But I'm worried about everybody gonna say about me and someone says something bad about me That guy wants the answer too. He just doesn't want to get ridiculed You know, it's it's it's a group mentality thing that these young men are in where you know what if you need help Go and seek that person behind the scenes you can ask questions See what I do in my room is I let people ask questions One thing I won't tolerate is disrespect Come in here to listen come in here to learn don't talk about other things Don't break up other things and don't disrespect anybody in the class And because you'll get kicked out because I want people to feel like you know what You can come here. You can relax and know you're not going to be judged now. Tony. Like you said, I'm not gonna I'm going to be hard on you But it's going to be love in that. Hey, I'm not going to make you look bad or look dumb It's just I'm going to show you some things that make make you feel that way But that's not going to be my intention Well, I've noticed I noticed like donovan sharp in the chat When somebody had said something and they pile on and donovan would say hey This guy's asking a question lay off him, you know, he had the ball just jump in there and say, okay, you know I'm asking for some information. So that's the way that a man that's the way that a man Is reaching out You know some he might be somewhere where there's nobody around he could be up in Montana in a cabin somewhere or you know, but he's still reaching out So I think us as men we need to understand that everybody's situation is different, you know, so So how do how do you know? I'm glad you said that too. But again, some men can take it Some men need a little more. I don't want to say coddling, but they need a different approach Well, that's where see that's where being an authentic man and be able to lead people as a leader You've got to know that you're dealing with several different personalities Just like I try to tell guys they're all women are different, but they believe they're the same But all guys are different as well So you've got to know yourself and see I've been doing this long enough to know, okay I know how much of a punch I should give the guy Versus putting a pat on the back and my arm around the shoulder I know when to yank them or when to say it's okay I I understand where you're coming from because I can tell the pain that they have through the things that they're saying so I Everybody's treated different because again, I don't want everybody to be I don't I don't want to build a coat man I want everybody to be individual thinkers, man Well, Steve, I think you're you're you're definitely been on the right track And I think anybody that does coaching you with you is definitely going to get what they what they need For sure, I can see that you do have a I want to say a different approach But I think you have a very Experienced approach to dealing with men's issues and relationships, but you do have a definite, you know thing on Basically holding the man a conable and be a man. That's number one Yeah, um, let's talk about 21 real quick. Um, you're you have spoke at I believe the Patriarch convention and poland convention, correct? What was your experience there? Man, what was your experience the first the the best experience was being around men ah, man, the It's it's being around individual men That come from all parts of the world That come together as a whole. I think that was the best part, but not only that it was uh Anthony the a I always call him a one man just just how we set everything up, but also the the people the the people who went to the conventions I it was it's so many combinations because These young men are saying, you know what? I want to learn And I'm going to invest in me to learn and I'm going to be around men And I'm going to have an opportunity to rub elbows talk to pull them aside and tell them my story And it's just it's so many things. It's it's it's the combination of men It's like a perfect storm combination of men over here a one and how he set everything up Hey, and that goes with your brother, too But I like I man I I I kind of tell I always tell george I wish I was the the third bruno because I mean george is the joy I mean, I love george george is my boy, man, but george And he's part of the a one experience because how he does the interviews How how he makes people feel during the interviews? And it's also the people that go there that we get to rub elbows with and talk to And be able just to pull them aside and give them more one-on-one face-to-face conversations and coaching Yeah, I noticed at a cocktail party and You're obviously every time I've seen you there There was just men around you constantly. There was one cocktail party where there we were surrounded like seven different Seven different guys and I believe you were doing a demonstration I'm not with Tony sister. I was it was any sister any sister. All right. Yeah, I remember that. I remember that Yeah, so we were doing approach. Yeah, I'm sorry. That's what it was. No, that's good. That's what it was But I did notice a lot of guys That were always anytime you were free you had a group of guys around you. Yeah, which was great Yeah, I love it. But that to me is the different experience of 21 Oh, you have lunch with you can have lunch with Steve the dean, you know, so that's the beauty of that convention And everybody else that's there. Yeah I'm sorry. What do you have? I don't want I don't want you to give it away But what do you have planned? Do you have something planned special for for this upcoming convention? Yeah, I'm not gonna bring the yeah I'm not gonna bring the hammer this time. But yeah, I'm I've got an idea where I want to go with what I want to say And uh, and I got an idea for if we get their chance to do the workshops I know it definitely what I'm gonna do in the workshops as well. So I got okay Fantastic fantastic Steve. How can everybody find you? Give me all your platforms Hey, just go to the man mind said calm Uh, well, okay on twitter instagram and facebook the man mind said calm Um, but I just tell all the guys go to the man mind said calm go in with the thought process of you know what I don't don't trust me. Don't believe me on the front page. We have Nothing but receipts of women that talk to my clients I I leave it all there so they can see it But we have a free starter kid and a tony We also have a dating chat line with women on there right now I'm I bring women to you. I'm I got you go to the date chat like they're women there right now So that's why I try to separate myself But yeah, just go to the man mind said calm and if you have any questions get at me at the man mind set at gmail.com Awesome awesome. Well, steve. I really appreciate your time And thanks for coming on and talking there. I think a lot of men are going to get some great info from this talk And of course guys reach out to steve. He's a professional. He's been doing it a long time So reach out to him Steve I appreciate your time And one thing I want to say guys, let me tell you about tony bruno This man. Hey, look, he he all chill right now. You know great interview and all this other stuff, but the bruno boys Man If you get the chance to hang out with the bruno boys tony or george Dude, they about the game man. Hey tony you bad man. Well, I appreciate that Steve I appreciate that steve. That's a great shout out. I really do. Yeah much love to you, man. I love y'all I appreciate you and I appreciate your time. So thank you so much. Thank you, man All right, you have a good day. Thank you. Take care man. Thank you