 Apparently the Girl Scouts primary source of fundraising has moved from selling cookies to nuts. Forget trying to squeeze stories out of this. We need to expand. We can find all kinds of great gossip out there in Ponyville. And of course conspiracy theorists believe that this new focus on nuts is yet another attempt to trans the kids. What makes a man, Mr. Lebowski? Dude, huh? I don't know, sir. I mean, apparently the results of the Girl Scout nut sales are read aloud to the Girl Scouts during like a special hour of the Drag Queen story hour. Is it being prepared to do the right thing? Whatever the cost. Isn't that what makes a man? And the Girl Scout with the most nuts, whether real or synthetic, wins. I'm sure that in a pair of testicles. I mean, obviously. It's basically the same rules as like a modern beauty contest. But the gossip we've been printing is hurting every Pony's feelings. Feelings? I don't care about feelings. Gabby Gums is my bread and I'm not going to let you goody-two whores take that away from me.