 So today we're going to talk about why a man might choose one woman or another now when we examine this I think it's really important that in most cases all things aren't equal in other words each woman is Unique to herself, so there's going to be some differences But what I want to talk about is where men how men typically choose a woman in their life and Also explore those things that men choose I was gonna say the type of women they tend to avoid and and why I want to lean into this for a second is because I've been watching some YouTube videos lately talking about men who are rejecting women Significantly, and I think this might be the younger population but certainly it might be for those in midlife as well is women who have what's known as a High body count a high body count and what I mean to say is these are well According to these youtuber, these are women who have had many many sexual partners And because of that a man won't deem that were that woman worthy to actually commit in a relationship Now while that might be true that might be a very fair statement that people who have a promiscuous nature Might be less desirable, but let me ask you something and this is for the women in my audience You know, do you actually really care how many men or how many women a man has slept with? In fact, do you even ask that question? I think someone's past sexual Experiences to some degree should be remain private and what I mean to say as well It's it's important to explore someone's past Relationship experiences, but for those who have had one-night stands or very short-lived experiences Is it really necessary to know about that? Now what's interesting is I've spoken to a Significant number of men and women who have actually had sex on the first date with a woman and have eventually gone On to a fully committed relationship now while that might be the exception and not the rule That certainly has happened so I don't like that That's the criteria someone rejects a woman one woman over another that a woman who tends to be more Virtuous might be a better partner now again someone younger might view things like that But for those of us who are in midlife we most of us have gone through a divorce We've had several relationships in our lives. So it's probably natural. You've had several sexual partners Okay, so I don't think that's warrants enough to exclude one woman over another Now there might be one there might be several reasons why a man might choose one woman over another and that might be how this woman's Lifestyle compares to his own lifestyle Now what I mean by lifestyle is I know for those of us in midlife and women say the exact thing thing about men that Men say about women what I'm about to share As I've noticed a significant number of men and women prefer not to date someone who's currently in the active role of raise raising children Now this tends to be for those that are already Empty nesters they prefer not to be with a woman who's actively raising children And that's not always the case and I know so many women who say the same thing I don't want to be with a man who's actively raising children So that might be a reason why a man might choose one woman over another is Depending on their lifestyle and actually when we talk about lifestyle, it's not just the raising of children It might be their their professional capacity if they have someone I know who I Know for example, I know one woman who didn't want to date a man Who was a realtor because he was always working on the weekends And I've known men to say the same thing about women are realtors and there's no disrespect for that I'm just saying that we all have our own unique Versions of a deal breaker when it comes to relationships. I know some men I know one man in particular says I don't want to date a woman who is in debt because I don't want to take on her debt If we end up getting married at some point or we bond in a significant relationship. That's one example By the way, when I think of debt I'm not talking about having a mortgage on a home and or a car loan kind of debt But someone who is in credit card debt that was his deal breaker Okay, and women you have your own deal breakers, too I think the real question here is why would a man choose one woman over another or choose one another woman over you? Centers around a couple factors that I'm going to lean into right now Now one of the first thing is I've known I've witnessed that most men Need to be physically attracted to their partner About a way women need to feel this too But you know the definition of a physical attraction might be you know Men might have a higher on the scale than women although that might not always be the case but they must feel a sense that they feel physically attracted to this partner this woman and Also that there is sexual compatibility within that physical attraction. I Think the fact that men are you know have been not bred But we instinctively have this desire to spread our seed to be physically sexual with a woman That it's not uncommon that a man Will choose a woman that he feels I can give him a resurrection that gets him aroused and also fits his Lifestyle when it comes to sex sexual compatibility and the fact of the matter is not all women are the same in this Capacity some women are quite different than others some women are very docile some women are very ambivalent in the area of sex And this might be a reason why a man might choose a one woman over another and let me be clear about this There are plenty of men who are terrible in bed There are plenty of men that are indifferent about sex So this isn't you know women have every right to want to be with a male partner that has that sexual prowess that sexual desire I Think as we get into the third chapter of our lives for those of us that are in our 50s plus We want many of us want to have a healthy sex life But for those in their 60s 70s that may not be as important for some versus others Okay, but I will say this a man typically chooses a woman one of the factors centers around how Physically attracted to is and how sexual compatible they are And so a man might choose another woman because it fits his sexual compatibility over a different woman for another woman let's say The most important factor men consider when it comes to choosing a woman all Centers around how they feel about this person. How do they truly feel with this person? Do they feel a connection with this person? We're going to talk about four things in particular that men and women need to feel a sense of Connection with another human being and when we go beyond connection We also need to talk about the importance of trust in a relationship because ultimately a Man chooses a woman based on that physical attraction and sexual compatibility Feelings which we're going to lean into some of those and also the alignment in the area of have they built trust with one another Okay, so what are those four factors that represents the feelings for a man? Well, I think the first one centers around attention Does this person in my life give me enough attention do they fill my need for when I want a Connection with someone Now this is tricky again going back to the lifestyle because some women have more of a flexible lifestyle than another I'm using lifestyles and an example so they can give more attention to a man than another woman And remember I said in the beginning of this conversation. We realize all things are not equal Each person is unique unto themselves So there's all these little multitude of factors that play like what I'm sharing right now because attention Leads into affection And I suspect like most of you You want to have physical affection in your relationship. In fact, if you're not familiar with the book the five love languages by the way Here if you're not familiar here's a copy of the book the five love languages all the books I recommend are Are in the link below in the show notes If you want to check out the books that I recommend in the five love languages one of the love languages Physical touch and from what I've observed that is usually a man's second first second or third Highest love language to feel that physical affection. I suspect it's the same for you as ladies as well So we just talked about attention making a person a priority making them important in your life. That's critically important Certainly affection that physical touch that connecting with someone and it's not just sexual It could be just touching his hand or running your fingers through his hair that feeling of physical connection Can create a bond with one woman over another Next is appreciation You know, I've observed that most men's complaints after a divorce Centers around not feeling truly appreciated in their merits. That's oftentimes one of their biggest complaints I think humans in general do a very poor job of Appreciating one another in relationship. In fact, we oftentimes take people for granted. I Think this is all set up in the dating right from the very get-go. I know a lot of women operate from this Entitlement perspective I expect a man to court me and I expect a man to pay for everything and I expect a man to do this And I expect to do a man to do that Now it's okay to desire things but when you come from a place of expectation It takes away from the place of generosity When a man is giving to a woman when a man genuinely gives to a woman and he's not appreciated for his efforts This might cause a man to choose one woman over another in fact Not too long ago some weeks back. I witnessed this watching a couple His man was very generous to this person and yet He wasn't appreciated for his efforts And when a man doesn't feel appreciated He's less likely to feel good because remember I said physically attracted to sexually compatible and feels good What feels good is being appreciated for one's efforts and let me say this I'm not a big fan of the words. Thank you And while that's certainly used Frequently we can thank the barista at the coffee shop. We can thank the teller at the at the bank We can certainly thank the grocery clerk for bagging your groceries. I Want to invite you all to begin the words. I Appreciate you in your lexicon. I really appreciate that you did this. I'm so grateful that you took me on this vacation I'm so grateful that you took me out to this restaurant start using the word appreciation gratitude or excuse me grateful in your lexicon as I said a moment ago as within your Your daily word salad if you will When it comes to men Men oftentimes feel a lack of appreciation and ladies. I recognize you feel a lack of appreciation within men It's very say it's very Very common that humans take one another for granted So at least you can start by setting the example and if you set the example by Demonstrating appreciation on a regular basis and he's not reciprocating With that verbiage and you got to ask yourself does this person genuinely care? I want you to always think about these these titles in the videos. Just remember it's not about the man This is about you at the same time. I want to give you tools to understand how men operate and the fourth thing Before we get into trust is recognizing that all men and women want to feel Accepted for who they are accepted for who they are There's an old saying that men marry women hoping they don't change and women marry men hoping they do change Well, that's literally you have this idea of how you want to change a guy into your narrative And this isn't true for all women At the same time a man wants to feel accepted for who he is for how he shows up Now that doesn't mean that we can't improve and that doesn't mean you should accept a man From the perspective of being a doormat in relationship. I'm here to completely reject that submissive narrative that many of those youtubers out there are trying to impose upon women is a submissive nature Acceptance isn't submissive. Acceptance is just recognizing that we you know, here's the thing Personalities are fixed behaviors can be changed personality is fixed So I've got you know, my personality can be a little bit Brash and a little smart ass and I believe my partner Marie accepts that part of my personality My behaviors can change learning to put down the toilet seat. That's a behavior And I jokingly about this because and it's not an issue in our relationship But I joke about it because there are things we can change within our behavior at the same time We can't change our personality So you have to accept our personality the way it is and if you don't accept our personality the way it is Then we don't feel that desire we might choose one woman over another Now within acceptance, I began to share this moment ago is that sense of trust See, it's that physical attraction that sexual compatibility feelings Feeling good in the air of attention affection appreciation and acceptance because within acceptance comes a level of feeling safe With this person to feel like you can truly be yourself See trust isn't just about fidelity Trust is can I count on this person to be there for me when I need them? Do they have my best interest at heart? See most couples don't spend nearly enough time building up trust in a relationship. They're going through the motions I think fact I've even said recently that dating today is just a long strung-out version of friends with benefits because very few couples are actually co-creating a relationship based on trust and trust comes through teamwork Being a team and yet many of you are fixated on relationships where your entire communication your entire Connection is through these devices You're spending more time talking through these devices than actually Connecting with one another to build the deep roots of trust through emotional connection through economic agreement through social activities hobbies mutual interest through family and friends and Lastly through intimacy, and I don't mean sexual intimacy I mean emotional intimacy to go with the physical intimacy and many of you women are do such a poor job in choosing Men that you find yourself attack Attacked hooked on a guy who's completely in Completely incompatible with you this is why I created my private coaching by the way There's a link right here the schedule a discovery call and in the show notes My job is to help you design the questions You should be asking yourself and him to determine if you're compatible with one another because guess what? Compatibility isn't based on chemistry See most people believe chemistry Equals relationship success, and I'm here to say shared values blendable lifestyles and emotional maturity Are the building blocks to a successful relationship, and if you need some help with that let's get on the phone Let's see if I can help you All right I've just outlined why a man chooses one woman over another the reality is is there's so many different moving parts It doesn't matter why a man might choose another woman over you what matters most is are you choosing the right man? Are you choosing the right man that? Matters most than what a man does because everything I shared in this video is interchangeable between men and women Because we all want to feel physically desired We all want to feel that sexual compatibility We all want to feel attention affection appreciation acceptance and most importantly we all want to Dive into trust because all at the end of the day That's the person we choose the one we feel safest was is this sinking in is this resonating? Please let me know if it is post a comment below. I'd like to hear your thoughts All right, I'm gonna wrap up this videos I always do first off giving myself a big gigantic Jonathan bear of self-love I'm gonna reach into the camera and give you a hug of love if that's okay I'm gonna ask you to turn this on what a pet teddy bear pillow and give it or them a hug of love Because hugs are a great source of love and let's face it. We could all use more love in our lives Thanks a bunch. Bye now. Bye You