 What's going on everybody? My name is Raif DeRozzi and today I'm happy to share with you this video that I helped record Back in December of 2022 for World AIDS Day. World AIDS Day is recognized every year on December 1st So Horizon creator community asked me to be a part of this panel for World AIDS Day to help bring awareness Education basically all the advocacy I do anyway to share my personal experiences and stuff like that but this time in the metaverse and if you're not familiar with the metaverse is it's essentially virtual reality land where for example, it's for what? Let me get this out of my mouth the internet and social media was to the 2000s and the 2010s what the metaverse will be for the 2020s moving forward and on into the future It's like we're taking what what what we know as a two-dimensional screen with internet with social media with all the E-commerce that we do all everything essentially the way we interact with other human beings and then we're taking it into a 3d world via a headset and these Controlly do-dads I I know that they've like managed to integrate a certain like you can even use your fingers and Stuff like that and I'm sure that it's just gonna get more and more complex and more and more interesting so it's really exciting and I went into the metaverse specifically Horizon creator communities They are tasked by meta to create these spaces for community that are safe spaces but that encourage community that encourage creativity and also talking about Difficult topics like there's LGBTQIA community and there's this was focused on HIV Education and awareness and stigma reduction So some of these really creative developers created essentially a whole world Dedicated to World AIDS Day and HIV education stigma reduction and and most importantly creating a place where community can get together And talk and discuss and have these kinds of dialogue. So it was really cool. They did a really good job Creating this place if I get some screenshots or video, I'll definitely share it with you They also within that world little world created a stage where we can have our panel which you'll see in just a minute and then Seating for the audience and a bunch of people showed up. It was really cool and engaging that we had a Q&A So I'm finally excited to share our whole panel discussion with you It was me and two other gentlemen who had HIV and then our host moderator. So check it out Well, I would love for us to actually introduce ourselves and so I will go last and maybe we'll start with Jay you'd introduce yourself sure, so I am JW LA and Naturally with JW LA. I'm from LA. So happy to be here. I am a survivor of HIV for 11 years and This is a labor of love for us all to be here and share and educate the best we can in order to help prevent you know the virus from being spread and we were here to dispel myths and You know empower you for your for your best life. Yeah Franklin and this is I like to introduce Franklin Franklin is my mentor of many many years and Long-term HIV survivors, so Franklin take it away there My name is Franklin and I've been a long-term survivor of HIV and AIDS for 42 years and when I found out that I Was sick there was no test for HIV But I wound up experiencing and having shingles and thrush and didn't know what that was about fortunately, I saw a Doctor on every side in New York who was gay and Predominantly most of his patients were gay as well who were experiencing the same thing And then 1985 I wound up get getting tested and the test came out positive for HIV And fortunately I was able to live for 18 years without needing any Medication in that time I saw about 10 friends of mine who passed away from AIDS And so it was difficult so I worked in the hospital at that time too and wound up caring for people who were HIV-positive Really glad you're here Well, hi everyone, my name is Raif DeRozzi. I was diagnosed more recently In 2012 with AIDS. I also had experienced oral Thrush as well as shingles as well as a host of other symptoms I was at the point where my doctor said if I got a cold I could end up with pneumonia in the hospital and possibly die So it was pretty late stage Fortunately, the medicine has progressed so much in the last few decades that I was able to get on medication right away And within a the time span of six to nine months. I was back up and running at full speed almost Undetectable within that time and so no longer transmittable either Yeah, so that was on my 27th birthday and then so it's about This past May 8th was my 10-year Anniversary since then but for me coming out at that time and looking for Representation and visibility on social media, especially YouTube as an educational source I really wasn't seeing a whole lot of people who look like me or who were speaking out about themselves and just Trying to go about living life. So I Felt and the imperative to kind of go about doing that myself And so I really started to advocate on social media and share my life and my personal struggles And that has ballooned from there and turned into my life's work and my passion I also decided I wanted to I really wanted to reclaim my health in a really Visible and physical way. So I started competing in bodybuilding. I'm a natural men's physique bodybuilder I became a pro in 2019 place third at Muscle Beach in Venice. So that was like a big To my home. Yeah On the other side of a very low moment. Yeah, wow Wow, so I'm just taking in so much there including that between the three of you were Words of 60 plus years living with HIV And so just really appreciating all that experience and wisdom on this couch and honored deeply honored to be here and Before I just dive in because I'm just so excited to have this conversation with the three of you I will also introduce myself. So I'm Ruth or RC Degs Before I fell down the rabbit hole of the metaverse I worked in clinical settings in a variety of roles including working with HIV Patients and team members who were supporting those patients and this was probably I guess seven eight years ago and so I learned that I had a specific like love for people who Encountered worked with and also suffered from this disease or were managing it There was something about the resiliency and the purposefulness that really brought me in and and brought my passion forward So this is a dream come true of many years being able to amplify and build space to Innovate how we have conversations around topics and areas that were scared about uncomfortable conversations. That's like my jam and This specifically for me is not just comfortable but also comforting to be able to like share space with People who are living their lives on purpose like you and so part of the design of this world is to Allow us to drop beneath all the questions that a lot of times people who are marginalized or Pushed out or have some kind of specific characteristic We make them kind of instinctually we turn them into Google and we ask all those questions that we could actually Very quickly access through our handheld devices and learn good information there So some of these panels were about like giving you that chance to educate yourself and go to those places and learn about What HIV is some of that information will probably come up today as we're talking and Feel free if if you're just really having some curiosity that you think could be answered there to wander around Our voices are global so you can keep listening to us and I'm really glad everyone's here Okay, we have confetti in VR so this is a fun conversation So along those lines of dropping beneath the Main pieces of what HIV is and making you the teachers of HIV I Really enjoyed a pre-conversation We had where one of the questions I was asking is what is it like to live in 2022 with HIV and how does that compare to where your awareness was in the beginning and So I will start with right if that was one of the questions I felt you're passionate around then we'll go down the line Sure. Yeah, so I mean, it's a stark contrast to when I was first diagnosed initially I Firmly believed that I was gonna be dead in two to three years. So You know instinctively I was like, oh my god, okay, I'm gonna die So what do I do now? Do I go do I go to school? Do I am I supposed to get a job? Like what are the logistics? Do I say goodbye to people and travel the world and try to do my bucket list and whatnot? and then I quickly learned that that was not the case anymore and that Getting on effective treatment was gonna really get me back to where I want to be and then at that point It was really about okay What do I want my life to be moving forward because I it's really all in my power and Really, what's what what would hold me back is my own limiting belief system my own self-doubt In my own mental health So I've really made it a conscious effort that HIV is a very tiny minute minuscule part of my life It's a very I mean, it's not because I'm dedicated my life to advocacy, but as far as You know like how my relationship with it personally, it's it's one pill that I take once a day And then outside of that I just go about living my life and like I ask myself What what do I want to do with my life and that's it and I My I guess my relationship now and it sounds a little funny to say But I see my diagnosis and I see my HIV as a blessing in a way it's a bit of a Miracle and that it woke me up In my late 20s because I've been living most of my life with a victim mindset I'm not gonna I won't go too deep right now, but as a kid. I was a victim I went through a lot of abuse and stuff like that and I carried that Mentality going with me into an adult and I think it really held me back from living my full life and so My diagnosis and almost dying made me realize how fragile and and Precious life is and so I was like, okay. I've got a second chance at this So what do I need to fix inside? What do I need to change heal in order to move forward and like live and thrive and like Be happy. Wow That question what do I need to change in my life to live and thrive and be happy and How you've taken this moment where like the ground fell out from underneath you and it was it was the end was in site And and actually built a bridge out of it and and it was really about taking ownership of my life I'm it's no longer life is happening to me, but I'm gonna decide what's gonna happen moving forward Yeah, and the practice of that on a daily basis that pill becomes a symbol. I imagine of that choice Mm-hmm. Thank you. Hey Franklin, what about you? What is it like from the beginning to now and as a comparison? The beginning was filled with an enormous amount of uncertainty Because I was getting sick and I didn't know why I was getting sick So and I pretty much did not Realize what was happening to me until I was tested And once I was tested I just felt that with the information that was there that I was not going to be around much longer Wow, so I um I created a bucket list And one of the things was to travel so I travel Wow, and then I I'm Yeah, me too. Yeah, then I came back home and I pretty much Had to decide what I was going to do with my life I was dealing with caring for a lot of friends of mine who were had AIDS And I would go to the hospital to visit them to take them in a wheelchair around the block Uh, just so that they could get out and get air And It was an enjoyable experience Also, I wound up developing Or what do you call it when you Are sort of feel guilty about living Survivors guilt survivors Yeah Yeah, I was experiencing survivors guilt because so many people I knew had died And then I was wondering why me why am I surviving this illness And uh, what purpose do I have in life? Yeah, and at that time I was just devoting myself to caring for other people who were ill And um It went on to whereas now I Got involved in many studies for HIV and AIDS And currently I'm involved in the UCLA reprieve study Which and it's for um men who are 50 years and older And if they're testing the medication the statin To see how it works with the heart and with cholesterol And uh So I'm enjoying that And finding out a lot of information about myself And I um It's due public speaking. I also did Uh facilitator training for a group with pacific lines care wellness center And the clients who were HIV positive Are uh facilitated support group me meetings For them and I learned a lot about people learned a lot about connecting with one another And supporting one another in a different way Thank you franklin. Hi, there's so much in your story I I feel like I I just read the the preface to a book Where I'm like, I'm probably gonna read this whole book in the next three days kind of thing like Um, it's it's so intense to imagine Going from Wheeling your friends around to help them get fresh air to believing that you might die also And and then to be I can only imagine how bizarre this must feel to be in virtual reality and Looking at all these legless, uh humans sitting with us today and And and just realizing where we are now that how it would be different even back then So So much richness. Thank you for sharing. I'm wondering with the reprieve study Which is to basically figure out for people who have been living with Long-term survivors of HIV and AIDS How the medication is going to affect our bodies In the long run And yes, thank you for bringing that back up this piece about Both of you in getting active around HIV and actually becoming Not just the one who is seeking healing and treatment But the healer and the one who's facilitating that healing journey waking people up to their own Possibility as leaders and as as journeyers on purpose Maybe those are my words for you both journeyers on purpose So, um, so rich so rich. Um, Jay, what about you? Where did you go from Then till now Wow, well, it was a shock obviously To learn of my status and at first I was in denial for the for the longest period of time I was like this can't be happening and Immediately I sought community. I I sought resources because I didn't know how I was going to survive such a scary experience With when the fact that I already was dealing with depression and anxiety So you can imagine adding that on top of of things you're just like, oh god How can you stand another, you know, major life change? Um, and so I had to go through a lot of, um Just Soul searching I would say, you know and figure out where I'm going to Find the best support and I'm grateful because it led me to this man right here Franklin And uh, he was a huge And is still a huge part of my journey. Um, and really helped me on on my path. I was Really in a very difficult position. I went to an HIV support group met him for the first night shared my story and uh, and And he took me in and really just helped me um get me back on my feet and find my way And so in many ways, I'm grateful like, you know, you always have to find the silver lining and such a You know in such a negative situation And this was my glimmer of hope and knowing that There's there's a long-term survivor here that I can learn a lot from a mentor that can really help me Navigate the system because there's a lot of stuff you have to learn Um about, you know, finding the resources in order to get the medication to get support And uh, so finding community is super super important and then since, um You know Since our friendship and all that then eventually I got to the point where I was going to go ahead and move forward and take the medications Because for the longest time, I wasn't going to do the medications. I didn't believe I was positive I had a hard time accepting it and I didn't understand how it happened It just I didn't think I was doing anything that was risky to the point and I don't and you know, I had to get beyond that And uh, so once I got beyond that I uh had a friend who was a holistic Uh practitioner and she begged me to get on the medications because I was wasting away because my viral load was out of control I wasn't, you know, believing that this was happening But my body was taking a toll And she begged me she said if you're you know, if you're not going to go the holistic path and at least get on these medications And it saved my life. It definitely did and I've been on multiple medications In different regimen sense. There's a lot of side effects that come along with that. There's what I call my hiv days where you just Don't want to get out of bed or you just have a really hard time functioning, you know headaches gastrointestinal issues Um, and I think it's really important that even though there's a one pill a day that I am on and I am undetectable Which will get into all of that It isn't a quick fix you do have your your positive and your negative days And and it can change moment to moment So yeah, and so I would just say You know, uh, thank god We are where we're at with the medications today because they are saving lives But at the same time you do take your body takes a toll with being on those medications There are side effects that affect your liver affect your kidneys affect, you know, everybody's different But for me, it's definitely affected me. Yeah Wow As you tell that story, I've been just lately in my life I kind of like really think about words and I pull them apart and I've been contemplating the frames of Fate and destiny and what's in between those where we feel cursed or we feel blessed And we feel like there's a promise or there's a threat And and so I'm just feeling this whole journey along your life where Um, I imagine in the beginning this felt like a curse. This felt like doing fate and just the end and then The just, you know, franklin. I've never met you in physical reality yet What whereas j you and I have but just the presence that franklin brings the groundedness that franklin brings to To a legless avatar where I'm just like, okay You know, if I if I could summarize like Words, I feel like franklin says in all the ways he talks is it's gonna be okay. It's gonna be okay It's gonna be okay. And he says that quite often. Yeah How grounding that would be at a time of such terror and and also very candidly you were Really strapped you were actually not in any sort of stable housing or situation to get treatment And so now here this moment is you're you're bringing franklin into The next wave of our humanity and you're bringing franklin and giving him a spot and helping him belong And I'm so glad what a treasure to have you both here I'm just the journey the three of you have just shared here. It feels like that you know 200 years worth of wisdom and And also pain as you've had to find your own words and discover your own Truth around what hiv means to you but also what does living mean to you and what does What does being in relationship with our community mean to you? And and and how are you choosing your community on purpose because you know your life is on purpose Yeah I read um recently and some of the research of of uh and and gathering of data That up to 13 of people Who have hiv right now don't know they have it And I wonder what that is like for you Having that awareness of your own journey of how You finally made that decision to get tested and What would you say to that that you that started to have that inkling of something's not okay? I'm not okay What would you if you could go back in time? Not just to get yourself to get tested because that's where we go. We go to the fix of it, right? But but also to just like comfort yourself. What would you say to yourself back then? Knowing the journey you were about to find out you were on Well to jump in I've definitely heard Um percentages that far exceed 13 percent in certain communities Even here in LA I've seen upwards of like 30 percent pre-covid So there's a lot of folks, you know walking around living their life and have no idea that And most of them with no male intent but um Just you know just aren't expecting that just like jay was saying don't expect anything like that I certainly didn't Around the time before my diagnosis I was in a three and a half year What I thought was a monogamous relationship And I just started progressively getting more and more sick and a lot of people they'll say Well, wasn't wasn't that obvious then you were getting sick like why wouldn't you have gone to the doctor and And gotten tested at that point and figured it out. Why did it progress all the way to AIDS? And I often have to explain that Um as someone as a childhood as a child who dealt with a lot of anxiety and stress I had naturally have a weakened immune system And I would get sick like once a month once every three months if I was sick once in three months I was like, okay, I'm doing good Like I haven't come down with anything lately. This is great So for me to have little things like Thrush and not know what it was pain in my throat um swollen lymph nodes like skin rashes and things like that or Even getting vertigo randomly headaches and what have you I'd never it never would have occurred to me that all those things were threaded together in in One thing and then on top of that being in a relationship. I'm like that's not I'm not I'm not gonna have an st std sti. That doesn't make any sense So it can't be that like that's it was in the back of my head, but it wasn't Didn't seem obvious to me And so for me it wasn't until I was so sick And that was the other thing I didn't have health insurance So it's not like, okay, let me just um make an appointment and go That was a major hurdle for me So it wasn't until my throat hurt so bad That and it was so painful That I was like, I have to go To the county hospital and I'm gonna sit there for I sat there for nine hours Until I could see a doctor And and that was just the initial for testing and and review and I had to come back And sit there for another eight hours Before I finally Got treated And that's what I found out so Just a quick second. Yeah, I don't mean to throw up But just real quick I just want to make sure everybody can hear ryeath because I'm hearing from other people that you cannot hear them out there So can you guys hear them? You can't hear them You can't hear them. Some people can hear you and some people can't Uh-oh So raise your hand if you can't hear ryeath Raise your hand Oh strange He's not in global's what we're hearing. Yeah, it's what I'm being told by Mavix. Okay. Yeah Thank you for that information Yeah, so one suggestion We're gonna we're gonna do a little troubleshooting here. Please please pause and watch One suggestion would be to exit out the stage there and then just walk around and come back in and we'll see if that just actually Fix it. Thank you Jay for noting that Yeah, well, it's yeah Raise his waving at us. Yes Okay, try talking to him Testing testing one two three Raise your hand if you can't hear ryeath So so so the cameras we can we can hear all good as well Okay. Okay. Okay. Great. Just want to make sure everyone can hear properly. All right. Thank you Mavix for that spot Yeah, so so to recap here what I'm hearing is your journey was also very influenced around getting tested by not having health insurance And that the the illness started to become so chronic and so disabling that it forced you to that place where you were willing to sit in In a county hospital and wait for 10 hours of the eight hours and and just go through that torture of understanding What you might face when you got that care, but finally Deciding you had to face it And then to answer the second part of your question even before Being in a relationship and before getting sick Getting an h.o.v. Diagnosis was probably my worst fear in life I remember distinctly when I Came out to my mom and told her that I want to I want to accept being gay because initially when it came out. I was going to church I was christian. I basically went through conversion therapy And there was a point where that wasn't working anymore. And so when I told my mom, you know, I'm gonna I'm just gonna accept being gay She Responded out of fear You are gonna end up In jail somehow. I'm a criminal and you're gonna get hiv and aids and you're gonna end up dying So it was like it was partly like That fear was like that she would be right Yeah, her perception of me as a gay person was right. It was accurate and I'm just a fool Yeah So that's where that fear came from and also of course of dying And so the words of encouragement I would have for myself is There is no scenario in which you get tested and you lose because if you don't get tested and I hear so much of people who are paranoid and stressed and so much anxiety that they have hiv And they are too afraid to get tested and so they're living with this pressure and this burden constantly every day And if they if you don't get tested then you're just living in that and you might get tested and be negative and So you're releasing yourself of all that You know anxiety and if you are positive Then you can finally get on treatment And then you can learn and realize that you can move on with your life once you do that wow and so there there's a piece about recognizing that if i'm concerned about having hiv Part of the disease that i'm already in is the terror of what I think that means Exactly And and the first step in my own healing whether I have hiv or not is actually just to choose To face that information and and get that get that support get that get that access to more Medical care more whatever I need because in your case even if you hadn't been positive you were sick You were having multiple illnesses and you needed medical support period and so so you're you're recognizing that even Despite the incredible stigma and harm of what your mother said You released yourself before you even found out you had hiv you you let yourself like find out and walk through that door And and define that differently because otherwise that might still be haunting you in your head just as a Its own kind of prison Yeah, thank you wow And franklin or jay would you like to comment on that of what would you tell yourself? If you could go back before you got tested To just acknowledge the path ahead and how to accept what was coming I would basically tell myself to calm down Because I was afraid Uh When I got tested a lot had come out of my hiv And then the symptoms involved with being hiv positive. I knew I had And I was uncertain because there was no test. So I really could not find out Wow, you know if I was hiv positive or negative Hmm. So I became afraid about a great many things And one in particular because my partner and I were having unprotected sex And then I developed a fear about that of not wanting to give someone else hiv So I um I was glad to to take the test. It was a tremendous relief Wow, you know, then we could I could protect myself and protect him and fortunately he was negative and um I went on you know with my life until We divorced And it became so stressful for me. And so phil was tremendous sad You know just engulfed my life Then my T-cells plummeted And I had within a week I went from Having a t-cell count to 1100, which is very good To having a t-cell count of 198 Which meant that I had AIDS And I became fearful at that point My doctor told me you really have to make plans Because we're not certain that we could help you And the only drug that was available was Crixivan Unfortunately a best friend of mine is a physician And he told me he gave me great advice. He said don't take that because With the your health condition as it is right now I'm I think that that drug might do more harm than good And uh, so he recommended he worked with the ryan white foundation And he knew of a new drug that had just been approved by the fda But was not on the market yet So he called my doctor and told him how to get that drug for me. Well, wow So Franklin I hear so many rich pieces in your story one of the pieces though You said that I want to echo is that concept of calm down I feel anxiety imagining what you were going through And I also know that recently jack johnson came out with an album called calm down or like one of the songs is calm down and During my own intense storm recently. I would listen to that song on repeat And so I think that it's how we deliver those messages to ourselves that matters And if I imagine franklin saying calm down ruth, I'm like, okay. Okay. Okay. I'll get on the ground So it really depends on who's holding that voice and what what I think the experience comes from and how much healing You have brought and support you've brought since then You're compensating for that terror you were feeling by saying not only calm down, but yay You have a test now like this is a big aha moment for me We're scared of getting tested But you didn't have the choice to get tested And so there's a convenience and an opportunity right now that we don't even think about I found out actually in this I did not know this You can just order tests on amazon like or or somewhere else You you don't necessarily have to like even be seen by somebody to get tested And that's an incredible privilege that we have especially in the us or in Countries that are more developed to be able to like access that level of anonymity and and just gather the info so So jay your turn and then I want to open us up for some questions. We just really dive deep here. So yeah What would you tell yourself? I would probably tell myself It's a roller coaster and take it moment to moment because there's going to be highs and lows and uh, it's you know Moments moment really yeah So there's a presence piece to that of um What we fear is almost maybe the cumulative effect of what we've been told or Like if you were taking a moment moment, you'd be going am I in jail? I am not so I am not the fool and I have not become You know that even if you were in jail, that doesn't mean those things are connected That doesn't mean that that your mother was right. And so right being in the moment gives you that segment of Exactly. Yeah, and that it's a roller coaster, you know and expect the highs and the lows and what right youth was saying earlier about, you know as as gay men we come out to you know to our families our friends and and And they're always going to be worried about hiv and and all of that and then once you get Exposed and you develop hiv And you know and become positive you go through a process where you're like, when do you tell them because just like coming out all over again It's already steeped in so much stigma and shame that it's a very difficult process Depending on who you're coming out to and right you've also brought up the point about being religious And I was deeply religious and grew up in a religious household So that's another piece of it, you know and that you don't want to worry your your family and and and about the eternal, you know Your eternal soul essentially. Yeah. Yeah, and so I grew up in in church for 18 years and Assistant to the youth pastor and the whole nine yards. So I Had a lot of shame a lot of guilt and I didn't even understand how this happened. So, yeah Yeah, that was really challenging for me. So it was like I said, it's a shock. It was a shock that's the roller coaster and that's the moment to moment because What happened? What's next? That's really what you asked yourself. What's next? Yeah, yeah Ah, I'm I'm gonna invite you all to think about if you have any questions But before we we go to questions from you, I have one more for each of you just to acknowledge where we're at We're in this kind of semi-futuristic alternate reality setting And I'm curious if you have any instincts or wishes or dreams What is your identity of having hiv look like as the metaverse continues to grow? Even one year from now, where do you want to be? In in the 2.0 of what we're doing today I would love to be a guide in that sense You know kind of what jay has been with me and you have been as well Um You have been with me I followed you on youtube forever before meeting you so this is yeah, yeah And it helped kind of you already bring more of of that from the physical world into VR. Yeah That's so beautiful a whole new meaning to the concept of guides in the metaverse Well, that's what we're doing here in this world this beautiful world that it's a labor of love We're guiding people around to the different kiosks and educating them about hiv In the metaverse and and this is a worldwide community and it's just amazing to to do what we're doing and Hopefully next year we're going to have all kinds of diverse You know, we're have women on the you know, we'll have We'll have transgender on on the stage like we're going to have a very diverse group of people Sharing their stories as well, you know of how they're thriving And surviving hiv, you know like a international circle of those affected by hiv and Maybe we'll have like a question piece where I put the question down and whoever Whoever hits the button first gets to maybe answer So we could have a rapid fire like sharing. It's very sweet Yeah, and when we have more capacity we'll be able to include the world that you built for kovat that you converted into hiv Awareness where you can go into the bloodstream and actually see hiv and and see the fighter cells And you know, you guys were mentioning earlier about t-cells Those are the fighter cells that fight off hiv And that's what that's what you get measured when you have your blood done To see how healthy you are and where your t-cell count is and your viral. Yeah That can be a whole other level of education And we can learn about it by gamifying it to some degree Exactly. Yeah What about you franklin? Where do you see hiv and your identity intersecting with the metaverse going forward? Uh, well the metaverse has been very helpful for me And having another outlet To uh deal with my uh being hiv positive But I my life story when I talked to my psychiatrist about it and other people and My aunt is an author And I told her my story and she told me she said Why don't you write a book? And I said no, no one's gonna want to read a book about me And she said no, she said seriously your life has been so interesting She said I think it would really make a great book. Yeah, you mentioned that earlier Yeah, and so she told me she said write two chapters Just so I can read it because she said you write so well Awesome And so I wrote two chapters and she sent it to a publisher So our publisher called me on the phone And said we want you to write this book So I see myself Completing that book By next year We're gonna have a metaverse book signing. There you go. Yeah, good idea for doing that Yeah, how beautiful. Well, I think it's a sign. I I'm definitely one of your first I would like your signature on the book because it it sounds so It sounds so rich in a like we're we're getting to see through your hindsight how the story did connect Probably while you're in it It didn't feel as connected. It felt like falling off cliffs and navigating dark alleys and Just being pretty uncertain like you said, but I love the idea of a book that shows How dark it can get and how How you end up on a couch in the metaverse talking with amongst friends. Yeah Oh, so good. So good So I have a hundred more questions So if you all don't I will keep asking but I want to give you all a chance to step up here And solo will go ahead and approve So you basically step up to the mic and you grab it and then solo will give you A microphone for a moment any questions for our esteemed panel of leaders and healers here Yeah, and polkat you are on mute, but yeah, hold on to the mic and you'll get um Oh, yeah, there you go Unmute and now okay. Go ahead solo hold on one sec. We'll cut yet They let go so you gotta reenact. Okay should be good. Okay. Can you hear me now? Yes I don't necessarily have a question for you gentlemen. I just have Something to tell you the book thing is a wonderful idea. Um, I'm 62 years old. I Have survived my friends Dying of AIDS. I was there when it first started. I'm a lesbian and all my male friends for the most part are gone So I applaud you gentlemen for still being here. Thank you for that Um, but uh to write a book is a good idea I wrote a poem the last friend that I had that died I wrote a poem And I did have it published and I gave that book to his father at the funeral It helps you and it helps your friends cope with what's going on Like I said, I've lost all my male Friends and I pretty much have not even in the gay community anymore because of the crisis that went down and Losing everybody I knew it just kind of like through me So it it it's hard on you guys and it's also hard on your friends And I do applaud you for sticking in there and I hope all of you the best. Thank you for letting me stay Yeah, that's that's a whole other way to think about it is the love letters of telling people the story you continue to live Yeah, yeah, thank you Who else? questions or reflections We're getting an echo from willow. So if she could mute appreciate Oh, yeah, I didn't Yeah, go ahead and grab the mic And then solo Go ahead. Uh, okay. Is it can you read? Yep. Yes. Yeah, I came a little bit late, but I definitely heard um Your stories and I'm definitely thankful for you for sharing them Uh, I myself am living with um HIV For the last five years and I was diagnosed with AIDS. Um Prior to that and um, so I just wanted to make a like to like two comments One I thank all of you for you know, you're sharing your stories. I mean youth you three come from Like really different backgrounds and it was really interesting to hear your stories. Um, I wanted to um Comment and recognize my uh flight attendant colleagues as well um in my unions, um that support, um This day every year, um because you did lose a lot of our colleagues friends, um obviously, uh, if you were living in that age and even today, um, people are still in their lives. So Um, I just wanted to recognize them. Uh, third is um, I don't know if you touched on it, but um, definitely, um, testing is you know, as as What you know, as we say is the most important and one thing that I was not aware when I you know was You know when I had HIV and I was not detectable and I didn't know I had it was the fact that um I didn't think the or quick versus the you know prick at a you know out the closet or whatnot Is the same effectancy, but it really is it's the they are 99.5 effective did both And then was very lucky enough to see You know a doctor and again my my personal um You know my t-cell count was Like 180 so that was a shock and that was very terrifying, but It was a different time, you know, so I had time to spare, you know, it was not like Back then when you really had to you know, um per se, uh, I would say, um Be be quick and be uh Um You know like strategize what you're going to do. Um And and I think another point I want to make is uh, you know Anyone else can comment on this as well Maybe the panel as well Is you know, how do you transition from the med that you were currently on because it was the best medication I personally take tri mech because that was uh back then the you know, premier, you know The highest like the best drug at the time to now There's now uh injectable, um, you know that you know that we can Take, um Or you know a two and one Where it's less on our liver. So that's something that um, I think is important So that's just what I wanted to say and again. Thank you so much for showing your stories and for um making this live event Yeah, thank you so much And so I heard a really specific question in that and maybe one of you can answer so we can still Invite any other comments or reflections With our our last few minutes is How do you transition when you're on a medication that is kind of working? But there's some incentive to shift how what do you tell yourself or how do you make that decision? And who's had experience with that because maybe not everybody has so j has Yeah, I have Franklin as it right right pass. Okay. So yeah everyone. Yeah Yeah First of all, I want to say thank you kim for getting up and sharing and you know We support you and we hope this world supports you Yeah Yeah, I started off taking I started off taking uh nine pills a day And they were large pills And they got to a point where new drugs came out. So I transitioned to a tripla Which was one one pill a day And uh, eventually, uh my system Built up resistance to a tripla And my doctor switched me to jamboya And then jamboya worked fine. I was undetectable, but it caused weight gain And I had to transition off of that because I was uh middle aged and had become diabetic So my doctor was really concerned about the weight gain So I changed from jamboya to victory now Which is working very well And so what a journey I mean, that's so many chapters in themselves maybe of of that transitioning to something that maybe gave more hope more stability and idea this could be better for me and and any other just Brief insight of like what what I know this is a complicated topic, but what helps you say yes finally to that shift Well, for me recently I changed and it was because I was going through I think heightened anxiety based on the medication that I was on before And I wasn't even aware that there was the medication that was actually causing the anxiety Until a doctor met with me and it said that you know, there is now A new medication that's within it's made by the same pharmaceutical company But it's going to be make it's going to make you less anxious more let more or less And so um, you know, you may not feel it immediately, but over time you will and so I shifted to that and also Franklin mentioned the weight gain. I was also gaining weight on the medication that I was on as well and so um and and that's I think Very challenging because uh You know, I guess we all gained a lot of weight during covid. Maybe I mean, I know they say they call the covid 30 But my god, um, so my medication was contributing to that as well And so that was another reason I figured I needed to shift Franklin did so because of diabetes risk, you know, I did so because I Uh, could tell that this was not good and uh, yeah, I needed to shift Yeah, I'm grateful about it. So maybe maybe part of that answer is there's just a cumulative pressure that comes from all the information about your body And the information outside and it just finally gets over the edge And I I took a triple at 1.2 but girl that that was not the one She did not like my body I mean, I would I had like brain fog. I would have hallucinations and yeah all kinds of stuff So what I would try to do is I would try to time my medication at night so that if I Would get have side effects. I would hopefully have it while I was sleeping and not have to deal with it But so yeah, like to your point it was just obvious It was the next evolution like okay, here's something that's that's less toxic that has less drugs That's most likely gonna have less side effects Gen voya was put on had zero side effects And then I was encouraged to go on victarvi and said, okay, why not? I'll try it also no side effects. So That's where you're on now. Victoria. Yeah Yeah, and I'm on devato. So I transitioned from geluca to devato. Yeah well Thank you again to each of you for being here I feel like we just started to wade into the possible conversations and I also just want to celebrate and acknowledge that today all over the world. This is world AIDS day This is a day to come together and recognize Not just survivors, but I would say thrivers who are also HIV positive and recognize those that have not survived or or have survived until they couldn't anymore and part of some of the art pieces you see in here Including this tree back here is to honor those who have lost their lives with HIV or AIDS related illness and one of the ways You can contribute is is by Reading these different signs in this world and learning more about how to be an ally that that's the point of this event And so I'm going to be sticking around to just meet and enjoy the company of everybody who's been here. Thank you. Thank you And I would invite that all of us if we are going to be talking about this really practice using nice statements I feel this I noticed this when we go into you statements as As much as that can feel like safe for us to talk to somebody else about you should That's not allyship. That's a type of judgment even if we feel good about it. So Just be respectful of your language today and be mindful of that And there's also a really fun little car catch over there talks about how to be an ally. So go read that I would love it if while we have everybody gathered that that staircase back there is just so pretty I would love it if we could all line up along there and get a big giant group photo of this is our first hiv awareness event that is coinciding with an international day and also a bridging and partnership the queers on meta This is a really big deal today. So you're all part of history in the metaverse All right. Well, if you stuck it out to the very end and you watch the whole thing You must have really enjoyed it or you're a completionist like I am Maybe you hate maybe you hated it. You're just like I have to finish this because I started it Actually, I'm not a completionist. I'm very add when it comes to that stuff And I usually have like eight nine or ten things going on at the same time and none of them are finished Anyway That was it. That's kind of gives you a taste of what's what's possible in the metaverse Like I really that really put in a perspective that I need to really think about hiv advocacy not just being limited to two-dimensional space not just social media not just via YouTube and things like that but In a fully immersive three-dimensional metaverse type world where I can really Connect with other human beings via their avatars and it just adds a whole another dimension if you will As far as what it means to be an advocate so stick around. This is just the beginning Um, there's so much we can do in the metaverse and I'm excited to be Trekking out into that frontier with y'all and I will be sharing it as it happens. Thank you for watching this I hope you liked it. I hope you enjoyed it. I hope you got something out of it If you did please like and subscribe hit that bell so that you get notified Notify guide so that you get notified Hit that bell so you get notified every time there is a new video released And please share this if you think other people can find value in this All right toodles