 out here in the hot tub it's quite a cold night here in Scotland but it's pretty hot in here hope everyone's having a good evening or day depending on where you are I don't know if you can see me very well it is quite dark out here so yeah coming up to 100,000 subscribers on the channel it's a huge achievement and it looks like we should reach it by tomorrow I know a lot of people say you know there's so many subscribers so many views must be getting worse it must be an epidemic and you could see it that way but I see it as though it's a good thing because people are becoming aware of what is really going on people are waking up and I think that's good it's good that people are finding this information it's good that people are becoming more aware of it 100k subscribers is definitely being something I've been trying to achieve for a while then of course it's not just my achievement it's something we've all achieved together we've all contributed to make this happen and on one hand you know of course it is an amazing achievement to have 100,000 subscribers not many people do achieve that many on YouTube but then on the other hand it's just numbers really it doesn't really mean that I'm anything greater than what I was before I had a hundred thousand subscribers you know unless we want to entertain the ego you know I know once it passes a hundred I'm still gonna feel human I'm still gonna be doing what I'm doing now making videos putting the information out there but then you know at the same time I don't want to downplay it of course you know a hundred thousand subscribers it's an amazing thing it is you know to bring the awareness to this many people and I hope that I've inspired other people to do the same it's not just about inspiring people it's about inspiring people to inspire people just like I have been inspired myself by many people before me I think my cat got in a fight with one of the local cats here I know exactly a fight but they were meowing I don't know if you can see and all of the cat there in the background a few people say cats are narcissistic and as someone who has a cat that's probably something I wouldn't disagree with but at least you do get something in return with cats you know they can be affectionate sometimes even if it's just on their own terms it's kind of worth it don't think we could say the same thing for narcissists though but yeah I've been thinking you know once we reach a hundred thousand subscribers where do we go from there because of course the journey isn't just gonna end it's going to continue it kind of brings me back to the start all over again like when I had just 100 subscribers and that was a really big deal back then it was a really amazing achievement to me to achieve 100 subscribers and I didn't really know where this was going I had no idea that in just a few months I would achieve 1000 subscribers and then I had no idea that within the first year I would achieve 30,000 subscribers and now to achieve 100,000 just two and a half years in it makes me think you know whatever I think could happen in the future with this I could be greatly underestimate in it because I never could have imagined that it would grow this much I believed that I could do well and that's why I took so much action but to think that it could become this big it's really incredible it's amazing what we can do when we just believe in ourselves and that's why I just have to keep telling people no matter what these narcissists say about you you've got to believe in yourself your beliefs create your reality when you believe in yourself you can change everything thank you princess high-frequency I appreciate that comment she says you helped people to realize that they were not alone you created a community of understanding support and love I like that I just felt like I had to give something back to this community there were times where I felt alone for many years I had no one to talk to I didn't know what to do it was difficult I was isolated and I had no one to validate my experience no one really cared no one cared I didn't even care about myself at that point that's how broken down I was and then I found one of Sam Vakinen's videos well first I typed in energy vampires on YouTube because I thought that's what I was experiencing people suck in the energy out of me I then from there I then found one of Sam Vakinen's videos on narcissism and then that's how I found out about it back in February or March 2018 and then I then saw other people's videos as well like ASSC direct Ross Rosenberg Kevin Sullivan the Royal Wii and some others as well and also Michelle Neves too I think good channel was called surviving to thriving at the time and I was so confused with everything and I won a free coaching session with Michelle and it was just amazing you know to to have that experience was someone listened to me it's like they understood where I was coming from it's like finally things started to make sense and then that's when I felt like this was my mission in life too to make these videos and to provide talk therapy to people life coaching because I know just how beneficial it is I know what it did for me back then when I won that coaching session with Michelle it changed everything there was only a few months after that but I started this channel I just look at where it is now and that's why I say it's not all about just inspiring people it's also about inspiring people to inspire people because together we can change so much got some good non-alcoholic beer there alcohol free and I hope that I have inspired you you know maybe this isn't your path maybe you don't feel that you want to do videos or coaching people but if you do as you know I do offer YouTube coaching so if you're interested in that you can book for the website www.narksurvivor.co.uk and when you book a session just say in the notes that you're booking a YouTube coaching session but even if that's not for you just having this knowledge this awareness and sharing it with people for your day-to-day life you know that's something what you give out you get back so when you're putting that good energy out there it comes back and it improves your life too and I am living proof of that people always tell me I've changed their lives I just want to say to everyone you've changed my life you've made me feel validated for my experience with all the likes and the comments you feel like I get you I feel like you get me it's just so great to have this community where we all have each other we're all like-minded people who care about each other we want the best for each other and it's not just the live chat or the comments that we have now to communicate we do have the the new support forum as well which is also on the website it's www.narksurvivor.co.uk so if you are interested in talking to other survivors of this abuse please check out the website John a support forum roll on there it's a place where you can share your thoughts and ideas you can share your knowledge and experiences I didn't really know what this video was going to be going to be about I just felt like you know we're probably gonna hit a hundred K tomorrow so I wanted to do something different I don't really know what else can we do to celebrate 100,000 subscribers I do have a lot of good videos planned for the week if there's anything you'd like to see just drop it in the comments I don't know if you know but every morning I spend up to one hour reading all of the comments from the past 24 hours every comment that's ever been posted on the channel probably tens of thousands of comments I've read them all every one of them and I do try to reply to as many as I can too so when you post the comment on the videos I am reading it I do to take the time to read what you have to say I think that's very important because of course this channel is about narcissism and I wouldn't be a good role model for this if I didn't listen to you the viewers the people who comment on the videos so of course I have to take the time out each day to do that it's a very important part of my day moonlight says make more vlogs I haven't shared this with anyone yet but I have been thinking about doing a travel vlog over the next few months like hopefully once this covid thing is all over I'll be able to travel the world again and hopefully I can take you all with me my trips I think I'll probably create a separate channel for that Vaughn said it would be interesting if you ran a live 24-7 on your channel and paths to meet up and chat to form a community actually there is a support forum which is available 24 hours of the day it's on our new website www.naxify.uk so do check out the website join a support forum I'm on there myself I'm reading all of your posts personally I'm replying to your posts so if you've got any questions about narcissism whatever it is I am on there I'm reading everything that's posted so yeah it's you know it's definitely a good place to be and of course I'm putting new blog posts on the website it's usually at least one every week so yeah definitely check out the website www.naxify.uk just out here in Scotland rented this lovely four bedroom cottage with views of the river down there at a hot tub just out you're relaxing OB1 asks what time is it is it here it's 9 15 p.m. yeah it's good to just take some time out just relax and practice self-care you've got to have some time to get away from the noise well you can just think for yourself instead of constantly being in reaction mode after this I will be heading up to the north west of Scotland I'm going to Scotland's biggest island the Isle of Sky and I will have many pictures and videos to come from there which you'll be able to see on my Instagram knock survivor YouTube so if you're not following me on there yet do check it out I've already got loads of pictures and videos for my travels here in Scotland and I will have more when I go up to the north west in the Isle of Sky it's a very beautiful place Richard Branson's sister owns the neighbouring island which I was going to stay there but I really like some of the attractions in the sky so that's where I'll be headed anyway I'd just like to thank you all for joining this live video I think tomorrow maybe we will be celebrating 100,000 subscribers so if you haven't subscribed yet please start subscribing and maybe we'll reach it sooner than we expect thank you all for joining this live and have a good day or night depending on where you are