 You are going to love today's show. I'm asking, does God give us a soul mate? Oh, you won't know my answer till the show, but what about this? Love at first sight. Ah, we'll see what the sisters think. Welcome to Sister to Sister. You have joined a fabulous bunch of ladies. Now, Corey's not with us today, so we are four sisters strong. And we can do it, we can do it. Now you send us questions all the time and this question is about love. Okay, listen to this. Listen to this, you sent. I wonder if you had this in your life. Do you believe in love at first sight? Amy, do you? Love at first sight. I would say no, because love, I mean, there's several different kinds of love. The Eros love that, you know, yeah, Vallejo love. I mean, you can generally love people, love somebody, but to love them with that covenant, I wanna marry you kind of love. I mean, that takes time. I gotta know you before I love you like that, right? So I would say I believe you can fall at first sight, not love at first sight. Maybe you're falling for them. Oh, you're smitten with them right away or you've got butterflies right away. You heard their voice. You could fall in lust at first sight and just like your senses, your flesh is just in the driver's seat and you rush that thing. But what I put in the best thing is to listen to your spirit and do you have an inward witness? Should I continue? Like when I first heard Buck's voice, I knew on the inside, this is who I'm gonna marry. Now we dated two years before we got married and proved out the will of God. But I would say you've gotta listen to the inward witness when it comes to falling in love. Well, I fell in love with long hair, black leather jacket, motorcycle. Pierced hair. He didn't at that time, but he doesn't have a piercing. I definitely fell in love at first sight with George and we were really young teenagers. And it's been how many years? You won't say, okay. No, it's a lot of years, 50 years. Wow. Wow. Yeah, because you were a teenager. That's beautiful. I was a teenager. You're a child, Brian. That's so beautiful. He grabbed you from the cradle. He did. I was, no, I was a cheerleader. I was so good and he was so bad. But I did. Sounds like Greece. It's just like Greece. Yep. And I am Sandy. You are. Yeah, I really am. All of what Pastor Amy just shared is, you know, you have heard my response on this before. I just wanted to add for sure, the discerning of spirits is key, but I just want to challenge just sometimes what we think of love in the Western culture is not that in other cultures. And I often refer to fitler on the roof, you know? Because in some cultures, there's arranged marriages and there's that. And I love this song that she began to sing in there somewhere, you know, do you love me? I think I love you. Yes, I love you. I think I love, you know, and as you, you had bought up about covenant, you know? So, you know, can you, I do believe that you can discern to the point that there is that connection that, you know, excuse me, that there's that connection that this person has something to do with your purpose, you guys, but yeah, love itself, as we know it, I believe it's work. It's work to stay in love for all these years, but that's okay. What do you think, Roxy? Well, I'm gonna do true confessions here. Okay. Oh, good. You can't fall in and out of love, but I do have to say this to be totally honest, because, you know, Flo's sitting there and she's like all about truth. So Alan saw me. I had long, well then dark brown hair. This is, you know, and he saw me from behind. So I have to say he was attracted to me because of that. All right, so we'll get that out in the, I don't know if it was arrows, it wasn't sensual, hopefully not. I know my husband, he's too cerebral to be that way. But I was hugging a friend of his, a female who was going through severe issues and I was praying for her. You were in college, right? In church while I was in law school. Okay, so right. So he didn't know me, but he was attracted maybe to the hair, but he assessed it on other issues. She loves the Lord. She's praying. She's, you know, caught whatever it was. And then that grew, then you know that guy, three months later asked me to marry him. And I said, woo, I'm in law school. I'm having a good time just going out with you. I got to study. I can only do one thing at a time. But there is sometimes God puts something in someone, but it's more than arrow sensual love. If it's sensual, it's not gonna last. Right, well, you know what? It's funny because this next question says, does God arrange one soulmate? You talked about arranged marriages, but does God give us a soulmate? And I was gonna say, because you know, I answer sometimes. And my answer would be, Amy already alluded to it. Pastor Buck tells that when he heard Amy's voice on the phone, when they, someone just said, you should date this girl. He knew that's who he was gonna marry. It was such a God thing. So I'm gonna come to you again, Roxy. Do you believe God gives us a soulmate? Oh, I'm sorry, yeah, I don't. Oh my! You know, second Peter says, he has given us everything we need for life and godliness. I feel like this word in the world, and if you research it, it got back to ancient Greeks about men and women being divided and come together. But anyway, what do we do about the single people that never have that soulmate? God has planted within us. I have everything I need for life and godliness. Alan is a helpmate. I am a helpmate to get to where God wants us to be. So if we feel like we need somebody else, then we may sit back and not do God's will where we are at the time we are. We might miss it. Right, and then you're so grieved when they don't meet your expectations. Only the Lord can meet those expectations. And if I would place them on my husband, man, I smother. Yes, absolutely, absolutely. What do you think, soulmate? I, no. No? Okay. I do believe, back to even the first question we talked about discerning, the gift of discernment is so important. And I do believe that you can sense purpose in a relationship that, you know, this is somebody you're supposed to be connected to. I think it takes the word says to test and try the spirit, you know? So I think that is part of, as you were saying, even about the dating process and, you know, seeing how this goes. However, I think sometimes what we do is we confuse soulmate with soul ties because the Bible does talk about soul ties. And soul ties are not always good. Some are not good, some are good. Like Jonathan and David had a soul tie that was good. Husband and wife have soul ties, and that's a good thing. So again, if you connect with the relationship that is toxic or unhealthy, you can have a soul tie in that. And, you know, that's a whole another line of conversation. Now, the soul netting together is where I believe people think of soulmate. But that, to me, is a process that comes along afterwards. So most of us that are married, I'm sure that we have, we may not say it on TV, but there have been things we had to work through, you know? And those are the things that kinda, that's the fabric of us coming together as one. And so that knitting together of the soul, I think sometimes the verbiage that we use is, this is my soulmate once that covenant has been sealed. Right, it's just different. You know, we're talking to all different generations here in our audience. It seems like young people just don't have this, this determination to stay soulmates. What do you think? I don't think they see the need to, Kathy. I don't know, because the young people, and you have a lot of young people in your church. And what I find, Amy, is like, there's so much of the Eastern culture that is infiltrated into, and so our children don't, like we say anointing, they say energy. Oh my, I started using the word energy. Yeah, I'm like, there's no energy here. It's the anointing, you know, the life of God. Wow, and so that they speak from their soul. They move by their soul, so that discipline, you know, somebody, well it doesn't take all of that. It doesn't, you know, because they're led by their soul, and this is why the word says, we're to work out our soul salvation, right? With fear and trembling. That's the part of us that we're constantly working on. I'm saved, I gave my life to the Lord. I'm being saved, working out my soul salvation. I'll be saved when I go on to be with Him forever. But do you think they're soul mates? Well, I do wanna jump on the soul mate side, just a little bit, because it's not in this Bible, but helpmate is, like Roxanne said, but I was just, while you were talking, thinking about my story, and Buck's story, and I'm picturing God before the foundations of the world saying, listen, I'm gonna call this couple, they're gonna plan a church in Pittsburgh. I've got a purpose and a plan for their life. So here's Amy in Oklahoma City at musical theater, you know, in college, here's Buck in Indiana, he's pastoring, I'm gonna speak to Amy here, I'm gonna get her to this Bible school where his brothers and sisters are gonna be, they're gonna say you need to meet, and I just wonder if when we're really seeking God, the steps of a righteous man or woman are ordered of the Lord. So when you're really seeking Him, and we both really were in our, I mean, wholeheartedly, like we just want God's will and plan for our life, and how in the world would we have connected there? So you believe in soul mates? I don't know if that's the term, but I think there's a divine purpose and call and assignment that God has really on all of our lives and He gets you to the right place at the right time with the right person. Right, right. So we're talking about these, we're talking about love today, but there's a question that you sent to us and I'm not sure who did send us this, but asked, is separation in marriage biblical? I'm not sure, Flo. The exact question I told her I didn't, I didn't want to answer. She's supposed to give me the second one, but anyway, that's my Cathy, y'all, that's my Cathy. Right, yeah. Okay, you can say pass, pass, you can pass, you can pass, I'll go. That's that easy, buddy. Yeah, Roxanne will have a scripture for me, I'm sure. Should I have a scripture if you can jump in? Do you want to take it? No, look, tag, you're in there. Tag, well I'm going to tag right back. This scripture has always stuck with me out of proverbs. And when I see this person in a marriage relationship, I cringe and that's in proverbs 30. Under three things the earth trembles and one of those is an unloved woman when she gets a husband. Wow, wow. What is that? I have to look that one out. What translation is it? That's the English standard version. It's right before the woman who's so awesome. Yeah, you read 30, 21 through 28. Under these three things the earth trembles, an unloved woman that is married to a husband. It is gut wrenching, it's heart wrenching. I mean, we sat in a meeting last week and it was this story and thank God this couple made the changes and the shifts but I'm looking at this girl in her eyes and the deep sadness to feel unloved to your covenant partner is not right. So when somebody's heart is so hardened toward you, I mean, I would say you have to get counseling and help and like real counseling, not like just sit down with a friend. I mean like real counseling before you make these decisions. Because am I scripture girls? Did you find a scripture? I've never heard that before and that is life changing. I do have to say this. People that are abused. That's right. Which I run into a lot. I'm gonna tell you this if you're abused. Cause it says adultery, if you're unbelieving, spouse, go. Oh, that's the only reasons. I'm gonna say this to that person. John 8, Jesus protected the woman caught in adultery. He did not let one stone touch her body. He does not want one stone. If you're a man or a woman getting abused, he doesn't want one stone to touch your body. Where are your accusers? He said, I don't accuse you either, go and sin no more. But I'm gonna tell you, if you're being abused, don't stay in that relationship. Ask the Lord, but Jesus protected the woman and sin. How much more is he gonna protect you? Oh my. And the difference between, you know, this is how I always seen it. I love what you, what you, I couldn't, that was excellent. But the thing of it is this, I believe separation is of God. Divorce is not as perfect will. And so the thing about separation, it gives you time to work it out and get counseling and get to a safe place. Yeah, this is so good. This is so good. Whoever wrote that question, and all of these questions about love, we hope that you're hearing from our hearts. And stay right there. We will be right back. It's all about love. We just want you to know that we really love you, our viewers. So appreciative. But this question that you sent us, I'm not crazy about it. It says, how do I approach my husband with a topic that I know is gonna cause issues? If I were answering first, I would say, I don't. But I'm gonna go to Roxanne. Oh yeah, and I do too much. Okay, okay. Causing issues. What do you do? That's why God gave me this scripture. James 3, the wisdom from above is pure, peaceable, gentle, reasonable, easily to an approach. Not judgmental. Man, that's all me slapped right in the face. Because I like to confront. As soon as I'm disturbed, I want to go right at it. God has taught me to pull back where's your reasonableness? Where's your legal mind when you're in conflict with your husband? Oh, it's all thrown out the window, you know. So it gives me grace for other people that throw all reasonableness out the window also. But I do have to say this that I learned. Is this issue, this topic, is it the real issue? What do you mean? Yeah, yeah. It has happened. I'm upset by some little trivial thing that blows up in my mind. That's really big. But I'm really upset about something else. That's true. That's true. So pray. Ask the Holy Spirit to show you. This is really what's going on in your mind. This person did this to you. And you're taking it out on your husband because he did this. Right. And somebody else did this. The Holy Spirit is beautiful. He reveals to us the thoughts that intense of our hearts. Yeah. And take the time to examine the real issue. Wow. That's pretty deep. Yeah. I think gently and timely, you know what I mean? Like that has been, I remember in the early parts of our marriage, you know, I had to learn like once, because I'm wanted, like let's get it now. You know? And you need to be, we were talking about discernment earlier, you know, on, and you do need to be sensitive to one another. Like give them a chance to come home and reset and relax. And is this, do I need to address this right now? You know? And like the word says, a soft dancer turning away wrath, you know? And so it's the way that we word things. It's the spirit behind it. If I'm agitated to you, you know, this is just like not the time, you know what I mean? And too often I have approached it from my place of irritation. Yes. And that doesn't always give us a good resolve because it winds up going down a whole another path. Yeah. So timely, not good. Amy. Well, I mean, a wise woman builds her house. That's right. So I mean, if you ignore things, stuff things under, let it build up and explode like a volcano. That's not a wise woman building her house. So it's not a wise woman. It's a wise woman building her house. So you've got to get a wise strategy. I mean, because when I don't know about you, when something happens to me like in marriage, I feel like flames of fire inside. I just want to like, I can't believe that. And I don't want to say things that I shouldn't say that because I believe there's power of life and death in the time. So what we started is kind of having like a family business meeting. And so I don't want to hear things every day that I'm doing wrong. And I don't want him to feel like that either. So we do it on Tuesdays because it's like our, it's like a meeting day. So, hey, let's talk about, you know, this happened with the kid. I don't like what you said here. You know, when you didn't open the door for me, I got really ticked off when you spent the, you know, whatever it is, spending kids, anything, bring it to the business meeting. Okay. I'm having a meeting. I'm not. That's all right. Okay. Kathy's not coming to the meeting. No. That's okay. Everybody's different. And you know how I am. I don't like confrontation. Okay. So here's the thing. I don't know what to say to this person. I am engaged to be married. I've saved myself from marriage. That's so good. But my fiance has not. I'm struggling with thoughts that he will compare me to others. What do we say to this? Oh, I like this question. It took me days to mull over this, but yesterday something dropped in my mind. So I got to tell this sweet young, this week. Girl, this little girl. First of all, second Corinthians 10 says they compare themselves among themselves and became foolish. If he compares you, he's a fool. Secondly, if he ever decides to do it, you've got the upper ground here. Statistically, overwhelmingly, if you do not have sex before marriage, you are more likely not to have it in marriage. He can feel safe with your love. Can you feel safe with his? That's a question because statistically, girl, you've got the upper hand. Don't worry about it because he can't compare. The Bible doesn't allow that. You can't compare yourself. You move on. You're a treasure to him. He's a treasure to you. And you're going to learn and grow through whatever you need to grow to satisfy one another. Wow. You know, Rossi, that is so good. But then at the same time, I think of the carnal nature, you know? And so after counseling and dealing with different things in life, you know, it is a reality that the person can compare. They shouldn't. You're absolutely right. Biblically, it shouldn't happen like that. But it is kind of, that happens often, you know? Whether it's male or female, you know? Hug me like Johnny. Provide for me like Sam, you know? Kiss me like Tom, you know? Whatever. So I think the key thing is getting deliverance. Knowing, you know, that's just my perspective. First natural, then spiritual. You know, the fact of it is, if I've had several different lovers, then there are, it's almost, I literally just not too long ago had to have a conversation with a husband and wife, and the wife had kept herself. No, no, it was the opposite. The husband was, you know, a man of God and wasn't going to touch her until the wedding day. We were honorable and, you know, and she was excited about that. But when they did come together, it wasn't what she expected. And she explained all this to you? Yes. That's what counseling. Why haven't men done counseling? My counselor is up there. It is the best counselor. I think this is why I approached him. This is why I approached him. That's weird. So, I started thinking, really, I mean, somebody said to you guys, we were doing an interview earlier on something called like taboo subjects, taboo subjects, and I obviously haven't seen it yet. But these are some of the things that, yeah, right, I haven't even seen it yet. But I'm sure it was good. But no. But these are the things we don't talk about, that we need to talk about, that people are really struggling with in their marriages and in their relationships. Like, it's too late. I gave my life to the Lord when I was 30. By the time I hit 30, how many partners have I had? I don't want to know that. I have no interest. No, seriously, as a pastor, how do you help? Because I got this challenge that I'm having in my marriage is because comparison, which we know after walking with the Lord for a while and understanding the scriptures that I shouldn't do it. But when I came to the Lord, I didn't know that. He's already been with this one, that one, you know, and he's been with this one, that one. And we have to quit, you know. No, we are in the world. That's right. I'm seeing this and then the woman cannot act like that. Sister, sister, sister. Audience, we will resume this conversation at a later date. But right now, we will wrap this thing up. Stay right there. You know, scripture warns that we may seek spiritual gifts and skills, but without love, we have nothing. 1 Corinthians 13 describes this type of love in verses four through eight, and I read, Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable and keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful and endures through every circumstance. With true love, character does count and character is built through the circumstances that we go through in those conflicts. Let's decide to walk with Jesus and build that character, building love in our lives. Wow, I love this whole love show so much. Love it, love it, love it. But guess what I also love, this particular scripture that goes like this, as iron sharpens iron, so does the countenance of a man or a woman or a sister sharpen the other. Every single week I'm built up. Today I just really feel loved. We hope you enjoyed Sister to Sister. We hope to see you again next time. We are The Sisters.